<Capt_Suicide> god fucking damnit <Capt_Suicide> my sister puked all over my toilet <Capt_Suicide> i just fucking cleaned that thing earlier from where nathan shit all over it <Capt_Suicide> good thing i bought that toilet bowl cleaner today <Kornered> what a rediculous thing to waste your money on <FaQz0r> get a dog <FaQz0r> dogs clean everything
LoRrigeer--: Dont dl porn ULVENMASTER: i dont, im mature LoRrigeer--: you dl mature porn? ULVENMASTER: no, im mature so i dont dl porn LoRrigeer--: so like ur married?
<darklink570> at first i thought that "ping? pong!" was just chanserv making fun of my chinese heritage
<Bijiy> SEABISCUIT!!! <[On-Air]NiM> Bijiy <[On-Air]NiM> I watched that movie with my mom <Bijiy> I did too <[On-Air]NiM> I will never watch a movie with my mom again <Bijiy> same <[On-Air]NiM> at the part in the stable she was like <[On-Air]NiM> WOW LOOK AT HOW BIG THE HORSES C0CK IS <Bijiy> heh <[On-Air]NiM> and I was like, OMG PLEASE NO... <Bijiy> hahahaha
<EiNHanDeR MK II> does anyone find it peculiar that the winner of the running olympics is black, and the white guys always win rifle and accuracy competitions?
<_pr1me> Nothing says christmas like handjobs in the olive garden bathroom for $2 a piece
Manghuntr9: i am taking a piece of KRAFT cheese to church with me in the hopes that i can get an extra piece of jesus and make a sandwich
<ubmentor> guys..greatest dialogue ever <ubmentor> check this out <ubmentor> girl: oh my god, that was incredible <ubmentor> guy: yeah.. you're amazing. you almost made me come <ubmentor> girl: what?! then what the hell did I swallow?! <SilentSnipa> hahaha
<fudge> wow <fudge> i am blessed <fudge> ffx-2 AND an AOL 9.0 disc <ShinakuTK_> ...some one gave you a AOHELL disk for a crimbo present? <fudge> i doubt it's a xmas present <fudge> i just get them all year then give them away at halloween to the kiddies <ShinakuTK_> lol
<deo> theres a road near me called "the queens passage" <emsy> LMAO <deo> heh....the funny thing is....theres a pub next to it.........called "the kings head"...... <emsy> ROTF
<Santa> all these chocolate bullets <Biscram> isnt there something you're forgetting to do tonight santa <Santa> THE PRESENTS!? * Santa is away, (brb delivering presents)
<vindalou> but you know how all gossip has a grain of truth <Bishi> I heard your mom's a real dirty slut
<CAMeRON> i have the best new insult - cockgoggles <CAMeRON> aaHAEHaeH aeHaeHaeHaehaeH <KEiRAN> thats pretty pisspoor cameron <CAMeRON> SHUT UP, COCKGOGGLES <KEiRAN> yeah, i didnt see that one coming
<STEELE1381> I just spent about 10 minutes taking an online IQ test that popped up onto my screen. <STEELE1381> Then, when I was finished, they made me fill out all this registration stuff before giving me my score. <sirhc614> How'd you do? <STEELE1381> Judging by the fact that I game them my email address to find out a number representing my intelligence that they semi-randomly calculated, I think I failed.
<muffins> Okay, earlier, when I said "FUCK" and left, my grandfather came with a truck load of wood for me to cart someplace. Because "Good Christian Young Men" do things like use chainsaws and cart wood. <muffins> Another thing Good Christian Young Men do is shoot guns. And go to church. I think I'm failing. <RedBeard> muffins: so kill two birds with one stone. shoot guns in church.
<MakoClause> shit <MakoClause> i am so dead <MakoClause> there is this huge dent in our christmas ham <MakoClause> where i decided to liberate some of it for a sandwhich <MakoClause> but i liberated too much <Zappy-Holidays> dude <Zappy-Holidays> ham raeper <Zappy-Holidays> where are your morals <Zappy-Holidays> I know why you really carved out a little bit <Zappy-Holidays> *nudge* *nudge* <Zappy-Holidays> *wink* *wink* <MakoClause> dude <MakoClause> i didn't fuck the ham <Zappy-Holidays> U FUCKED THE HAM <Zappy-Holidays> HAM FUCKER <MakoClause> I DID NOT FUCK THE HAM! <Zappy-Holidays> UR FAMILY WILL EAT YOUR SEAMEN
<APingLDer> So how did it go with that cheerleader from down the street that wanted to seduce you? <naeblis15> Well, I was going to go along, but at the last minute, I had one of those 'Grinch' moments, when my heart went up past my level, and Satan's and Stalin's and Hitler's and a few more levels, to where it was something like normal, and I decided that I should wait until I could have a meaningful relationship, not just casual sex with someone infinitely more popular and beautiful than I am. <APingLDer>... <APingLDer>... <APingLDer>And where was your brain at this point? <naeblis15>I don't know, but when he gets back he is so fucking grounded
<m00> Why does the mexican olympic team suck? <m00> everyone who can run, jump or swim is already in the US
<TXTerron> wanna know whats geeky? <Jennifer> hmm? <TXTerron> I'm driving down the road <Jennifer> I drove down the road today too... <Jennifer> Wait, You mean you're on irc in your truck? <TXTerron> yeah, using my wireless card <Jennifer> ^___^ <Jennifer> Jason, is that safe? <TXTerron> na, i just type with one hand while I'm driving and halfway watch the road, its cool, dont worry <Jennifer> You're good with typing with one hand? <TXTerron> shaddup :D <TXTerron> FUCK <TXTerron> i just rear ended a lady <TXTerron> brb :(
<Shaft> this is nice, customer calls in and opens a troubleticket, hes been suspended for non pay and his CC declined. Only way to turn abck on is by certified funds <Shaft> heres the kicker <Shaft> They are a collection agency
* |BEER| is AFK, i'm just a bot...day in and day out all i do is serve you....thats it!!!! I QUIT!!! TELL CB TO FIND HIMSELF A NEW BOT!!!! I-n-v-i-s-i-o-n * |BEER| has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer) <dr_binks> damn the bot just became self aware
Daniel: heh i met this chick online who had laser eye surgery today, she lives in California Nick: and? Daniel: and there was also an earthquake in california today
<Eck> British Prime Minister: I hope this can signal a reconciliation and a unity of the Iraqi people meaning freedom and hope for the people against whom the atrocities have been committed etc. <Eck> American Guy: WE GOT HIM! YEAAAAHHHH!!!!!
<sincere> there was a huge protest here <sincere> i walked out into the middle of it <sincere> i was like <sincere> get away hippies <sincere> im only trying to get to the liquor store
<Shanaynay> HEY FAGS <oval> Shanaynay, how in the HELL are you gonna say "hey fags" when your nick is Shanaynay? ;) <Shanaynay> OH NO YOU DIDN'T <Shanaynay> I KNOW YOU DIDN'T JUST DIS THE NAME MY MOMMA GAVE ME
<MaoistBanker> The Olsen Twins Announce Where They Will Go To College............. <MaoistBanker> NEW YORK UNIVERSITY, You can bet they will be getting a torrent of applications for the summer and fall semesters. <WhatTheChrist> lol remember last time new york had a set of twins <Smackbilly> Yeah, they went down on a lot of people.
* Spin2 has quit IRC (Quit: On the roof of the Church of the Future, Malgaard gets the amulet. His powers are increased by a factor of nothing. Plus wearing the amulet around his neck makes him look like a gay disco dancer.)
<Lafarga> bada: I'm throwing peanuts at your head at this moment. <bada> funny, I dont feel them <Lafarga> bada: That's because you're thousands of miles away, across the internet, so my peanuts are bouncing off my monitor instead.
<[dSx]kiLLmAsta> holy <[dSx]kiLLmAsta> fucking <[dSx]h34dsh0t> what? <[dSx]kiLLmAsta> dudes <[dSx]kiLLmAsta> if any of you have rats in the house <[dSx]kiLLmAsta> WASH YOUR FUCKING WANK RAGS REGULARLY <[dSx]h34dsh0t> ... <[dSx]awpMAN> wtf? <[dSx]h34dsh0t> you're kidding, right? <[dSx]kiLLmAsta> dude <[dSx]kiLLmAsta> i am fucking serious <[dSx]awpMAN> not all of us have wank rags, dumbass <[dSx]kiLLmAsta> so i had this wank rag i forgot about and left in a corner of the room under some shit right <[dSx]kiLLmAsta> i find it today and it has FUCKING HOLES IN IT RIGHT AT THE STAINS <[dSx]kiLLmAsta> and there's RAT SHIT ALL OVER IT <[dSx]tiMeCop> HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA <[dSx]awpMAN> idiot, hahahahahahahaha <[dSx]kiLLmAsta> fuck <[dSx]kiLLmAsta> i'm going to have trouble sleeping now that i know that SOME FUCKING RAT IN MY HOUSE ATE MY SEMEN <[dSx]h34dsh0t> dude <[dSx]kiLLmAsta> yea <[dSx]h34dsh0t> i love you <[dSx]h34dsh0t> i really do <[dSx]h34dsh0t> but it would be a crime not to submit this to bash <[dSx]kiLLmAsta> NO WAIT FUCK
<[SA]Mastiff> No. You are underage, and should not drink. <[SA]Mastiff> Go back to playing with Legos. <MaryFuckingPoppins> I don't have any Legos =( <Rigel> Fuck you Mastiff, Legos kick ass <Rigel> I set them up as the OPFOR while playing with my Moses Action Figure and army men <Rigel> The Legos lost because moses had the Ark of the Convenant <Rigel> And just like in the Bible it shot lightning and stuff. <Rigel> And then the Army Men put the legos in a concentration camp and that was the end of the Third Reich <Rigel> And THEN Moses beat hitlers face in with the Ten Commandments <Rigel> "Thou Shalt Not Be a Faggotyass Dictator" <Rigel> "Thou Shalt Not Raise the Undead" <Rigel> "Thou Shalt not put foxy agents in skintight leather and give them silenced Sten guns" <Rigel> And then back into the Time Portal he jumped, taking the army men with him! <Rigel> I should film this shit
<Bota> well, either my balls smell like propane, or my propane smells like balls : either way i think we have a problem
<@HollowmaN> The goverment was sterilizing retarded people for a few decades but stopped in the 70's. luckily i was born in the 80's
<Thom`Manson> "The Hammurderer is quickly becoming regarded as the worst-received advertising mascot since Kool-Aid's 1989 discontinuation of "The Grapist," a huge purple monster who sodomizes thirsty children." <Manboy> hahaha <Manboy> OH YEAH <Manboy> (sobbing) <Thom`Manson> hahahaha <Manboy> OH YEAH!!! <Thom`Manson> hahaha
<ascian> why do you guys need a car? <Odat> cause people look at you funny when you run down the highway making vroom noises with your mouth
ashgromnies: Let's play some Oregon Trail technocloak: I've never played that game since fourth grade . . . the character I named after myself DIED on my birthday.
<ducklord> You may think I'm retarded, but I actually know some things <ducklord> Like the square root of my telephone number
<[HCC]Freeman> Yiff is another way of saying fuck? Awesome. <Cel> ....uh huh. <Mage[CS]> "I want to yiff you like an animal..."
<Bonz> Light bulbs are not actually "light bulbs" but dark absorbers. When you turn them on, they suck the dark out of the room. You can prove this by holding your hand under a "light bulb". The dark will stack up under your hand where its path to the absorber is blocked by your hand. When they quit working and turn a dark color, it's not because they burnt out, it's because they're full.
* Kosaku has Lee raped by some random tentacles. * Lee dies. <Tash> Shit. <Tash> Its Rape 'o clock. <Kyle> .. <Kyle> What? <Tash> Oh wait. <Tash> I'm reading my watch wrong.
youatemypancreas: Dammit. youatemypancreas: Diablo won't work. it keeps minimizing itself. >_< Areku: *pats.* Areku: Oh hey. I've got a great plan. youatemypancreas: Oh? Areku: I'm going to set up a murder. And just before I murder the person, I'm going to ask. "Are you scared?" And when they say yes, I'll reply "You shouldn't be, you're on Scare tactics!" Then when they're all happy, and relieved they're not going to die.. I'll stab 'em good.
<Chocoboko> I wonder what things would have been like had Square stuck with Nintendo. <DragonFogel> I doubt we'd see FFT. =P <Soulcleaver> Imagine FF7- with all the "objectionable" and "offensive" material removed. <Indogutsu> <Barret> You Shinra are the vermin, robbing the Planet of its dreams! And that makes you King Vermin! So hush your mouth, you... you... jackaninny!
<Lemmih> a_shadow: You could start rollerskating. That was how I meet my first girlfriend. <Sonarman> or you could just masturbate to porn
<SumGeye> I met God once. <Bern> Ok... <SumGeye> Yeah. He was on the same bus as me. He smelt like whiskey.
<Godsey> I have a great idea for a porn movie <Godsey> Humping Dumpty <_megan_> we had a 70 year old man fixing our huge fence while you sat your ass and watched him <Godsey> all the kings horses and all the kings men couldn't satisfy Dumpty again <mannyh> haha
<Fox_Jenny> alan, please dont wear socks tonight <Borlath_Mon> Yeah. Use a condom, you cheap fucker