<ugly> haikus are so gay <ugly> they are just shitty poems <ugly> invented by japs
<eric> awright spam u can use <eric> "Like to see hot jizz spit all over an unsuspecting teen's face? These young teen girls love taking hot cum right in the face." <siva> "unsuspecting"? <eric> DAD CAN I GO TO THE MALL I NEED SOME NEW BARETTES AND % (#*&%!( HOLY GOD
<@SPo0n> this morning my mate said he likes the word "cock" because it "rolls off the tongue"
<@Gandalf> Recent scientific study found that the kind of male face a woman finds attractive can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. <@Gandalf> For instance, if she is ovulating she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. <@Gandalf> And if she is menstruating, she is likely to prefer a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors shoved deep into his temple and a cricket stump jammed up his arse
<cochese04> I find it incredibly amusing how my parents refer to transmission fluid as "tranny fluid".
<kiwi> once i skipped <Alby_Fox> she has no idea when she'll have a period <kiwi> my mom thought i was pregnant <Proffessor> that's gotta be some scary shit <kiwi> but at the time i'd never even kissed a guy =D <Proffessor> it was the next coming of jesus.... but, nooooooo, you had to play with the coathanger
<cagan> heh, my little sister bought vice city :) <spanky> such a cool game <cagan> i don't think my sister has any intention of completing it <cagan> she just likes driving around, and occasionally killing people <spanky> lol, dont we all? <cagan> she has cars in her garage ... and if they get damage, she carefully drives to a paint place, then keeps going in and out till its a colour she approves off <spanky> hehe
<Whilly-D> break a tranny in most cars and its a good 2k <gasgesgos> break a transvestite in most cars and it's a good 4 years
<Jaayy-EOC> Yeah.. I stole 5$ from Mike when I was at his house, but the funny thing is he doesn't know. <Derid-EOC> I do now, you dumbass. <Jaayy-EOC> Shit. When did you log on?
<@AntiHeiss> friend of mine went to jail last night <@AntiHeiss> he probably isn't getting out for a while <%The_Coolest> y? <+Enyo> why? <%The_Coolest> :o <@AntiHeiss> it was a girl cop, she was pretty cute too <@AntiHeiss> she said anything you say can and will be held against you....he sat there for a while and said 'tits'
<MercyBeat> For those of you planning on seeing the third LOTR movie at the theater her are some survival tips. <MercyBeat> 1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait... where the hell is Harry Potter?" <MercyBeat> 2. Block the entrance to the theater while screaming: "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" - After the movie, say "Lucas could have done it better." <MercyBeat> 3. At some point during the movie, stand up and shout: "I must go! Middle Earth needs me!" and run and try to jump into the screen. After bouncing off, return quietly to your seat. <MercyBeat> 4. Play a drinking game where you have to take a sip every time someone says: "The Ring." <MercyBeat> 5. Point and laugh whenever someone dies. <MercyBeat> 6. Ask the nearest ring-nut if he thinks Gandalf went to Hogwarts <MercyBeat> 7. Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mr. Anderson." <MercyBeat> 8. When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at the top of your lungs sing, "And I did it.... MY way...!" <MercyBeat> 9. At the end, complain that Gollum was offensive to Ethiopians <MercyBeat> 10. Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the end, bite off someone's finger and fall down the stairs. <MercyBeat> 11. When Shelob appears, pinch the guy in front of you on the back of the neck. <MercyBeat> 12. Dress up as old ladies and reenact "The Battle of Helms Deep" Monty Python style. <MercyBeat> 13. When Denethor lights the fire, shout "Barbecue!" <MercyBeat> 14. Ask people around you who they think is the next "Terminator" sent from the Middle Earth of the future to assassinate Frodo Baggins <MercyBeat> 15. In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and shout "RUN FOREST, RUN!" <MercyBeat> 16. Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: "That's what I'm Tolkien about!" See how long it takes before you get kicked out of the theatre. <MercyBeat> 17. During a wide shot of a battle, inquire, "Where's Waldo?" <MercyBeat> 18. Talk loudly about how you heard that there is a single frame of a nude Elf hidden somewhere in the movie. <MercyBeat> 19. Start an Orc sing-a-long. <MercyBeat> 20. Come to the premiere dressed as Frankenfurter and wander around looking terribly confused.
<+Macolio> I'm just waiting for the day Square will finally come out of the closet and just release an FF with hardcore gay sex between the effeminate leads.
<tuckt26> MD = farm land, DC = Gangs and concrete, VA = Wine, music, and the finer qualities of life <Calisa> And what would OH stand for? <aeonite> When you put KY in your VA you go OH.
<timovgod> Q: How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb? <timovgod> A: Just one, but it takes the entire emergency room to get it out. <enaz> did your insurance cover it timovgod? <timovgod> My car insurance covered it, I said I had I broken tail light.
<uber> O_O <uber> chill out aj <AJ2> uber: eat shit <AJ2> wait, you're asian...you might make a movie out of it :
Lckyduck322 : bitch, what the fuck do you want theonejanitor : how are you Lckyduck322 : i'm great and you
<King_Kane> So i open a can of pepsi max and i see on the side "Best Before: See base of can" so i turn the can around and i feel a cold chill running down my legs...
<n00dle> What do Michael Jackson and a Big Mac have in common? <n00dle> Both involve 30-year-old meat in between two nine-year-old buns.
<Esper> And last I checked... IRC is multiplayer notepad... being naked really doesn't matter unless you're REALLY good with ASCII art.
<Ninja_Cow> I view anal sex like eating cake with your anus. <Ninja_Cow> It doesn't serve a purpose and it looks disgusting.
<crfh_> I just witnessed the weirdest threesome ever <Invictus> ? <TheBlackCupid> ... <ShadesFox> oh? <Strangeone> Larry, Moe and Curly? <Reltzik-CodingForDearLife> .... Ooo..... kay.... <crfh_> My cat, another cat, and a POSSUM
<Sarah> the first Matrix was damn nice for an action movie. for an action movie. <Odin> Corny as hell endings. <Johnny> Yes. <Odin> Someone dies. Hell, let's bring 'em back to life with a kiss, it works in Disney flicks! <Sarah> Neo kisses Smith? <Sarah> thanks for spoiling it for me, asstart.
<Ettin> Still, I thought the war would be over by now. <Ettin> No country has an infinite supply of suicide bombers.
<Rentasmo> there was a gay guy at a support group I went to who brought a dog in a bag <Rentasmo> we didn't know he had a dog till he let it out <Capnplank> did he bring enough for everyone? <MrConceited> He was gay, not korean
<sekira> it was like 4 PM and my friends grandma msg'd him on aim <sekira> and she asked if he was still busy doing his homework. <sekira> I was really bored, so I went on his comp and said "wtf?" and she replied: "wait til five?"
<buggler> nataria you sex machine <Nataria> buggler im not a sex machine... <buggler> you're not? prove you're not <PubiclyRelated> ;p; yeh <PubiclyRelated> prove it lol <Nataria> roflmao <Nataria> how can i be a sex machine if i havent had sex? O:D <Nataria> ha i winnnn :D <buggler> it's like having a cooking machine that hasn't been used, doesn't make it any less a machine <Nataria> rofl <buggler> you don't win, you lose. My rebuttal is second to none <Nataria> so im a sex machine waiting to be turned on?
<nirgleNap> lol, i just put on Najma as i'm sitting here wiring up a circuit board <nirgleNap> i realized how "odd" this might look.. having arab music playing as i'm soldering red and green wires to a board full of ICs
<DB7> Meat_30: Sex change? <Meat_30> yep <DB7> Works for me <DB7> Any hole's a goat <DB7> errr <DB7> goal*
<zhirinovsky> do you know why old women don't get sex? have you ever tried to peel apart grilled cheese sandwich?
HolaScumbag: GUESS WHAT. qwerty8447: ? HolaScumbag: my mom bought me a pen...shaped as A DOG!!! qwerty8447: LMAO! qwerty8447: that must be AWESOME! HolaScumbag: I KNOW! qwerty8447: which end do you write with?
<Morj|YeozWins> I was once driving along the freeway,and a friend through some garbage out the window, and this lady ran over it <Morj|YeozWins> So she started chasing us <Morj|YeozWins> So I started going like 150-180 km/h down the freeway to get away, and she followed me <Morj|YeozWins> So I eventualyl pulled over, and she gets out of her car and runs up and goes "WHAT THE HELL, WHY WERE YOU DRIVING SO FAST YOU LITTLE ASSHOLE, I HAVE A BABY IN THE CAR YOU KNOW"
<elitotaco> hmm <elitotaco> this is a new one <elitotaco> "GROW 3 INCHES OF CHEST HAIR"
<Gecko> lmao, my mates download of "master and commander" is infact "anal agency" <EmPleh> lol <Gecko> wait a minute <Gecko> this isn't a real agency at all <Gecko> they're just having sex <Gecko> i'm suprised this lot ever get any work done
<Calvinosaur> I'm going to ethnically cleanse script kiddies. I'll call it "The Final Solution to the j00ish Problem."
<MST3Claye> there's a site out there that shows people beating super monkey ball levels really really fast. <Merlin> I plan on setting a new world speed record for Monopoly one of these days... <Merlin> It's called we sit down, setup the game, I pull a gun and go "look bitches, give me all your money and nobody gets hurt!" <Merlin> then I take the thimble hostage at the Water Works and force everyone to surrender to me, then I win the game. <Merlin> I figure my friends suck so much, I could win it in about 30 seconds with that strategy.
<Shuka> Our band conductor lady is this really scary black lady <Shuka> and she's like, "Y'gotta have spirit blood" <Shuka> and then like one time <Shuka> She's like, "Yknow, don't tell your parents this, but you guys sound like fucking shit" <Shuka> and we were like o_O
* Fred (myEmail@..........net) Quit (Warning: Mirc, has caused an illegal operation and will shut down. This happened because you were about to Finish a download you were waiting on for a month, and we can't have that.)
* Calylinde straps on strap-on-dildo, dry humps up to chanserv <Calylinde> hahah <Calylinde> come on, channy <Calylinde> bend over! <Calylinde> gimmme the O! <Calylinde> Chanserv <Calylinde> you whore * ChanServ sets mode: +o Calylinde <@Calylinde> Hahahahahahah
<FuManChu> And now, FuManChu presents another segment of "Things I Learned In College: <FuManChu> I learned today that if you have sex with your girlfriend's younger sister, you will have a fight in the middle of the campus center, regardless of what you try to say.
<cryme> that would own <cryme> to jack off of the empire state <cryme> and see who gets killed by your cumshot
<treke|laptop> wtf is terrier_explosion <hendersa> An exploding terrier. <hendersa> Geez. I though the filename was self explanatory.
|cmf> using semantics to mask the problems of our world is only putting a bandaid on a bullet wound |pedXing> yeah |pedXing> but |pedXing> it's a fuzzy bandaid, with cartoon characters on it. |pedXing> which is really better than nothing. |cmf> it sure is
<rivan> why <rivan> does <rivan> my <rivan> heart <rivan> cry? <NippleHead> dunno <NippleHead> but sounds serious
<@NapKiN> ANYONE KNOW PERL <@NapKiN> ? <dez> yeah <dez> cant remember what porno she was in tho