hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21112 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#137568 [ + | - ] 159
<@Moonpie> if you get into an rpg battle with the plastic wrap
around some sort of food you are the more stereotypical nerd
in the world
<+silv|LUNCH> it wasn't an rpg battle
#137564 [ + | - ] 310
<Darkseid> anyone want to hear a song i'm writing
<RaTS_FYA> :)
<Darkseid> it's called "if girls bled cranberry juice"
<RaTS_FYA> lol
<RaTS_FYA> lets here it dark
<oldskoolsenate> yeah
<oldskoolsenate> i wanna hear
<oldskoolsenate> please pleaes please
<Darkseid> ok
<Darkseid> keep in mind that it's metalish
<Darkseid> Ahem
* Darkseid clears throat
<oldskoolsenate> Darkseid that's alright
<Darkseid> if girls bled cranberry juice would you press and
squeeze them dry
<Darkseid> would you hold their heads so sweetly til juice ran
from their eye
<Darkseid> f juice ran from girls' ears would you have them
for a snack.
<Darkseid> What if orange juice was dripping from her snatch
<Darkseid> I would
<Darkseid> Chorus
<Darkseid> I mean no one likes a glass of juice better than
me... better than me... better than me... no one likes a glass
of juice better than me... better than me me me....
<oldskoolsenate> Darkseid: That's really touching.
#137556 [ + | - ] 312
(+emil) hahahahahahshsahhahshahhhhhash
(@Spellbinder) hash?
(+emil) what?
(+emil) oh
(+emil) i have fat fingers
(+emil) so when i laugh on irc
(+emil) i press the s button too
#137553 [ + | - ] 324
<Atob> The internet's like the Bible but with pictures.
<Atob> And those pictures are of naked ladies.
#137549 [ + | - ] 331
<WoobiE> hey.. i see me in that pic!
<WoobiE> hooray for me
<jimiw> your mum must be proud
<WoobiE> yep
<WoobiE> doesnt explain why she beats me and tells me i
destroyed the family though
#137545 [ + | - ] 185
<tosh> i need wax
<tosh> my hair doesn't stay up out of joy
#137544 [ + | - ] 385
<+NaruNaru> i have yet to find a girl with the correct
md5checksum
#137540 [ + | - ] 765
<Elfer> OMG OMG OMG
<Elfer> I just had an idea
<Elfer> ok, cats land on their feet, right?
<Elfer> right
<Elfer> toast lands peanut butter sde down, right?
<Elfer> right
<very_clock> right
<Elfer> now, what if I tape a piece of toast peanut butter
side up to a cat's back and drop it
<Elfer> ???
<very_clock> uhhhm the cat will cancel out the toast thing,
cats beat toast anyday
<Elfer> uhh, no
<very_clock> yep
<Elfer> I think I get some sort of physics defying
contradiction conundrum and the cat will hover
<Elfer> It's almost too simple to take over the world with
this type of device...
#137523 [ + | - ] 292
<@ryan> theres acpi crap in my kernel
<@jon^c> eat more fiber
#137512 [ + | - ] 419
<Rowdy> I made a really evil alarm for myself this morning.
<Stoney> An evil alarm?
<Rowdy> sleep 21600 && cat /kernel > /dev/audio
<Rowdy> Turn your speakers to max and do that.
<Rowdy> It is MEAN.
<matt> i have lots of kewl mp3 mixing software atm :)
<Rowdy> Think like an air raid siren crossed with a million
babies crying in unison.
<matt> .. and then were suddenly silenced?
<Rowdy> HAHAHAHAHAA
<Rowdy> ROFL
<Rowdy> That's the shit.
#137480 [ + | - ] 432
<NekoNick> And you claim to be sentient?
<RaZorblade>
sentient???????????????????????????????????????????????
<NekoNick> I guess that answers my question.
#137437 [ + | - ] 1604
<@parasyte> I went straight towards my room where my nice
large full size bed I had since I was 5 years old awaited me.
I opened the door and...
<@parasyte> ... there is my sister, riding her fat boyfriend,
fucking his brains out.
<@parasyte> My first thought was, "Wow, she had perky tits".
My second thought was, "Wow, so does he",
#137411 [ + | - ] 330
<flint`> well
<flint`> this wc3 channel has taught me one thing about korea
<flint`> they have completely abolished sexism
<flint`> and now they all just act like girls
#137362 [ + | - ] 310
<KrudOnAStick> haha i read a story about a brazilian dude who
married a blow up sex doll
<KrudOnAStick> his parents told him to divorce it and he
killed them
#137351 [ + | - ] 598
<jeebas> seems like i have quite a few kids on ebay
<jeebas> err bids
#137342 [ + | - ] 694
<mightious> it would be cool to get attacked my a monster or
something, I mean think of the stories
<mightious> or if you died you'd be a hero
<Hidden_7> yah, I prepare for monster attacks daily
<Hidden_7> cause imagine if you WERE a hero
<mightious> I have garlic incase of vampires, and a cross
incase of a vampire, and on the rare chance of a vampire I
have holy water
<mightious> ...actually im only prepared for vampires
#137338 [ + | - ] 467
moonman137: (she has no clue)
moonman137: (does putting it in these not let her see it?)
waymon04: (i think so)
#137314 [ + | - ] 454
bob2 | fuck, my room is like a bad text adventure!
tb | The top of my monitor is too thin to fit anything, unless
I glue it on.
bob2 | > take thermos
bob2 | the thermos lid falls off, spilling boiling water all
over you!
bob2 | you die!
bob2 | play again (y/n)?
Faugn | no
#137313 [ + | - ] 234
<Joe> reich as in shut the fuck up, you're a fag
<Reich> OOh
<Reich> coming from a guy who had cyber-sex witha guy
<Sabdo> ...
<Sabdo> wtf do you think the internet is FOR?
#137303 [ + | - ] 501
<Techdeck> note to self: www.manpages.com is NOT an online
resource to get *nix man pages
#137295 [ + | - ] 193
<@dura> I want a game that will actually scare me.
<@Billy-Away> resident evil
<@Billy-Away> is ok scary
<Lil_Dude> the first resident evil when i was like 5
<@dura> like a mexican farm simulator, that would scare me.
#137258 [ + | - ] 972
<CommanderStab> ARgh
<CommanderStab> What kind of a stupid crossword
<CommanderStab> Has the hint "Rhino"
<CommanderStab> And then the answer is "Rhino" >_<
#137243 [ + | - ] 302
[@revmoo]: O_o
[@revmoo]: I love windows
[@revmoo]: I unpack a divx on k:
[@revmoo]: and it tells me
[@revmoo]: "C: is running out of space"
#137222 [ + | - ] 593
< krept_> tomorrow is going to be cool
< krept_> i'm going to have real friends
< krept_> SCREW THIS INTERNET BULLSHIT
<@meth> going to get a few new action figures?
< krept_> nah, just unpacking them finally
#137189 [ + | - ] 57
* SHIT` happens
* Katsmall happens, too.
#137186 [ + | - ] 59
<campd> "Multiple Murder Bob" would be an awesome name for an
action figure.
<snorp> or a band
#137167 [ + | - ] 1344
<Exelcesior> I take it ALLL back about greenpeace type
fanatics
<Exelcesior> no offence Ed
<Ed> hmm?
<Exelcesior> i was feeling suicidally bored so I visited a
friend who's pretty enviro friendly
<Exelcesior> and I was talking to him as he watered his lawn,
when this car pulled up
<Exelcesior> and this fat guy mooned him
<Exelcesior> so he screamed "FUCK! BEACHED WHALE!!" and turned
the hose on him
<Ed> well, you have to keep them hydrated
#137086 [ + | - ] 434
<StorDuff> heh, just asked about what pieces people would
recommend in #opera, turns out it's about the browser
#137079 [ + | - ] 667
<+kostya> what means "+" befor my nick?
<@chopra> kostya: it means someone made a mistake
#137032 [ + | - ] 463
* The_Cat plays 'Godsmack - Voodoo'
<T-112> playing: Daft Punk & Stardust - Music Sounds Better
with You.mp3  128kbps 6.77min
<T-112> randomly..
* %Storm plays: Look I'm fucking special cause I'm telling
everyone what shitty music I'm listening to by The No one
gives a fucks
<Gnome> Good song.
#137011 [ + | - ] 164
Entsuropi: uhm, im out to see tomb raider 2 at 6:30
Pete: and WHY would you want to do a thing like that?
Entsuropi: tomb raider one was a highly entertaining piece of
trash
Entsuropi: and jolie looks hot in the trailers
Entsuropi: its like porn with gunfire
#137010 [ + | - ] 315
<YumCimil> I'd really hate someone to have a website
containing all the stupid things I'd said.
<Beagl> bash.org ?
#136992 [ + | - ] 227
<Pedsdude> ok...............
<Pedsdude> i said this:
<Pedsdude> friends should be here any min.  so i will not be
on until tuesday
<Pedsdude> it translated to this in dutch:
<RamboSnakey|NH> rofl
<Pedsdude> Vrienden zouden hier enig min moeten zijn. Zo zal
ik op tot Dinsdag niet zijn
<Pedsdude> it translated back to this in english:
<RamboSnakey|NH>
roflroflroflroflorlforlrolroflfroflroflroflrorlforlforlf
<Pedsdude> Friends will here simply wet nurse must be.  As
will I on until Tuesday are not
<Pedsdude> HAHAHAHA
<RamboSnakey|NH> LOL
<[WS]DeMoNiTe> wtf? LOL
#136942 [ + | - ] 359
(OvrLrd-Q) my longest pw was a case sensitive @ 26
(killjoy) i never use long ones.
(OvrLrd-Q) easily breakable by a slightly modified dictionary
though :)
(OvrLrd-Q) was
(OvrLrd-Q) weapon from game + weapon from game + beverage
ingredient
(OvrLrd-Q) crap
(OvrLrd-Q) that reminds me
(OvrLrd-Q) that 'beverage ingredient' is my root pw for my
*nix box
(killjoy) caffiene !?!?!?
killjoy starts scanning ovrlrd's ip range
(killjoy) ITS THERE SOMEWHARE
(OvrLrd-Q) WTF
#136937 [ + | - ] 600
rebelustionist: and I accidentlu said fuck in class liek 20
times
Dekkar5: rofl
rebelustionist: luckily she was a cool teacher
Dekkar5: what did the teach do
rebelustionist: she gave me one fuck a week
Dekkar5: !
rrebelustionist: the word
rebelustionist: that is
rebelustionist: ....
Dekkar5: o that didnt sound right...
#136929 [ + | - ] 770
Axion: u know
Axion: one day
Axion: the FBI's gonna bang down my door thinking im a
pedophile
Axion: and then realize im only 16
Axion: lol
Alucard: bwahahaha
#136914 [ + | - ] 669
<CptPlanet> i wish it was still legal to buy black people
because i'd have six of them follow me around at all times
just acting cool.
#136899 [ + | - ] 535
<Ross> What are they naming the bastard child?
<Tiffany> she wants to call the baby Rochel if it's a girl
<Ross> hooker name
<Tiffany> and they will probably name it Vampire Hunter D if
it's a boy
<Ross> I'd name my kid something totally badass, regardless of
the sex
<Ross> Like
<Ross> Tyranocore
<Ross> Or Vader
#136867 [ + | - ] 207
*** Nezzie (~armond@adsl-154-136-51.jan.bellsouth.net) has
joined #phphelp
<Nezzie> Wow they really need to put a warning label on that.
<Nezzie> apparantly /sbin/fastboot should be called /sbin/
fastREboot
#136855 [ + | - ] -63
<YowYow> whatsupi my niggers
<cse> And I even got on IRC and told eric when it happened heh
<YowYow> heh
<pb> <YowYow> ewoao aoe aoe owo ap ifp ie jan fpa aepi a efajp
<pb> that makes just as much sense man
<YowYow> mike btw
<YowYow> i have a mp3 u shoud listen to
<YowYow> its not done by me
<YowYow> but
<YowYow> not copyright whatsoever
<Ed> an*
<Ed> you*
<Ed> it's*
<Ed> copyrighted*
<Ed> etc..
<YowYow> ?
<Ed> -_-
<pb> ahahahhahhaha
<Ed> ah
<Ed> should*
<Ed> fuckin missed one -_-
#136840 [ + | - ] 578
<Dock> Tristan: We understand, you're just brain damaged.
<Dock> We know you find those "things" fun, your POV is warped
and it's OK.
<Dock> We'll all smile and talk behind your back.
<Tristan> OH YEAH
<Tristan> ATLEAST I DATE INSIDE MY SPECIES, YOU WENT OUTSIDE
OF YOURS WHEN YOU DID IT WITH MY MOM
<Tristan> SO THERE
#136835 [ + | - ] 664
(Pyr0s): !tp
(@N0VA): I'm a little teapot
(@CHR0N0S): short and stout
(@N0VA): Here is my handle
(@CHR0N0S): here is my spout
(@N0VA): When i get all steamed up
(@CHR0N0S): then i shout
(@N0VA): tip me over
*** N0VA was kicked by CHR0N0S (KICK YOU OUT!! :)
#136834 [ + | - ] 139
<bLacKywiNg> my ass hurts really bad right now...
<bLacKywiNg> i haven't ridden one in a long time!
<bLacKywiNg> but it was a really smooth ride once u get on it
#136832 [ + | - ] 258
<_nihil> Fuck you. :P
<TheFuck> Too late.
<_nihil> Fuck off? :P
<TheFuck> It's stuck.
#136830 [ + | - ] 718
* kitty notes his other keyboard actually has macro keys on
it...
<Bandit> youre a guy?
#136816 [ + | - ] 675
<McRick> I was watching a program on TV, and someone with an
English accent said 'And God bless all who sail in her" and
the closed captioning read "[speaking in foreign language]".
#136813 [ + | - ] 1335
jeremy: one does not give miss poppins a 'throat full of
cock', you fucking heathen
#136805 [ + | - ] 496
[BoardMasta] you hate how sean runs stuff because he has no
idea what he is doing
[Areoaelw] seans not the brightest cake on the candle :(
#136804 [ + | - ] 419
racer-x: i cant smell sarcasm over irc
ryan0: get closer to the screen
#136763 [ + | - ] 408
<GD[IceCream]> brb, eating ice cream and blueberries. ^_^
<The_Ayatollah> blueberries piss me off
<The_Ayatollah> if you step on one, they're not even friggin'
blue
<The_Ayatollah> lying bastard fruits