Master : You know, i just dont want to hurt you with my questions, its just my art to speak directly, so its better if you simply start to tell something about your life and so on. Animegirl : You are so funny ^^, dont worry if i dont want to answer your question, i gonna say it to you, its really hard to insult me just asking something :) Master : Well... So, what do you prefer : ananas, strawberry, apple or peach ? Animegirl : Wow :) Well, didnt expect this question, but it absolutely didnt insult me :) I prefer apple, why ? Master : I was just thinking about which taste shoud condoms have when i gonna come to you AniBot : Animegirl has left the "anime" channel
<@terminal> dudes i must say <@terminal> it's interesting to start your day off with a morning BJ <@renounced> you should probably tell the police your step father is molesting you
Eldragon: seriously the level of public debate in this country is about the same as an elementary school yard Eldragon: Wolf Blitzer: This just in from the tether ball Court, Obama's friend said Ms. Clinton has cooties.
<jess> So whats the difference between the mormons and the muslims?? <jess> The mormons want their 72 virgins now
<Sam>: So, that £5 gorgeous sketchbook I bought today? I sit down to do the first page thinking "Oh wow, this is gonna be awesome - I'm gonna fill it with great drawings and keep it forever" and all that shit. <Sam>: Open the book, thick black ink pen in hand and say "Right, what shall I put on the first page?... Hm, a nice "SKETCHBOOK" with doodles around will do while I wait for inspiration" <Sam>: I get to "SKETH" and realise I've missed out a C <Sam>: My heart stops - my lip trembles... Do I rip out the page? No! I'll improvise - I'll turn that C into a H with stripes! Yeah, that works. <Sam>: Okay, now I can carry on <Sam>: I finish writing it and have a look at my handiwork <Sam>: and then I see it <Sam>: "SKETCBOOK" <Sam>: Fuck
<Kin68ling> :-pd-: <Kin68ling> two girls making out <sadoomed> how do u know its not 2 men? <Kin68ling> because i still have some faith left in the world
<taurnil> Something freakin hilarious happened in my chemistry class today <taurnil> i was asking my teacher about the origins of the element "europium" <taurnil> i said "So, where does eouropium come from?" <taurnil> my teacher gives me the most confused look ever, and then slowly says "i don't have any opium"
faux978: Awesome conversation faux978: On the way to the bathroom, my sister spots me "NOOO I HAVE TO PEE" faux978: "Well, I have to shit" faux978: "I figured that's why you brought the laptop..."
<MugsyDaFish> i was peeing on the building and a cop rolls up on his bike <MugsyDaFish> i told him, i hope you're not going to arrest me cuz i don't think ill be able to sit on the handlebars <MugsyDaFish> i almost went to jail for that
sterano: Whats the difference between Raid_0 and Raid_1? Steve: In Raid_0 the zero stands for how many files you are going to get back if something goes wrong.
<egof>I'm not that nerdy, I've only seen 30% of the star trek episodes <kaj>if you know what percentage of the star trek episodes you have seen, you are inarguably nerdy <egof>it's unarguably <kaj>you are not helping your case
<Taki> I swear I just took a dump with well defined anatomical features <Taki> a long smooth tail and a bunch of little hardened pellets making up a complex head <Taki> I didn't want to flush it, it's probably the closest thing I'll have to a son <bryant> I think in the 3 days I've seen you in this channel you've done a better job keeping me in school and off drugs than every authority figure I've met in my entire life. <Taki> I do what I can
<DaMouse> HP should make weaponry <zid`> nah <zid`> the ammo would cost more than the gun
<Crucial> whats a quick way to push ipconfig /release, ipconfig /renew to 50 or so workstations <Mo> cycle power to the building
<N> which is correct, seven and five IS thirteen, or seven and five ARE thirteen? <Joker> Neither. <Joker> Because it's twelve.
< FurnaceBoy> this is a waste of time < FurnaceBoy> all he has to do is type what we told him < Tonren> bluecake: When you run a command in a Linux terminal, it searches your path for the command. type "echo $PATH" to see where Linux will look for commands you type. < FurnaceBoy> stop trying to educate, Tonren. this is irc. < FurnaceBoy> we yell at people
<PufF-> think im gonna wait to smoke up til i get to work <PufF-> i dont like driving high
Nameskaz: can you help me with an experiment real quick? MarineWife021406: sure Nameskaz: let me see you naked MarineWife021406: no Nameskaz: you see, these fortune cookies are bullshit Nameskaz: "Your courage will reward you" my ass
(+ColdPie) my lesbian coworker's partner is having twins (@uguu) is she hot (+ColdPie) no, she's a real life lesbian (@uguu) oh right
<@lysol> is tubgirl a republican? <jbroome> lysol: yeah, she believes in the trickle down theory
l70uke: network connections says it cant find an IP address dbbolton: open a web browser and type 192.168.1.1 in the address bar dbbolton: what happens l70uke: "please enter disk into drive a" dbbolton: what the FUCK
Amul Muzz said: Why do I get the feeling that this is really a mob, just waiting for someone to say something they do not agree with? chrismjr said: That's the best description for the internet I've ever heard
<+Clive> news.bbc.co.uk headlines: Police are searching bins in a bid to find fresh clues in their hunt for missing schoolgirl Shannon Matthews. <+Clive> So... they're looking for a laden bin?
Greenday2262: I'll bet Gandalf got SOOO high. Greenday2262: That fool can blow smoke-ships ffs! SunuvaChod: hahaha Greenday2262: I mean if Gandalf wanted to blaze with you, you would blaze right? SunuvaChod: if gandalf wanted to blaze with me SunuvaChod: id already be so fucked in the head that blazing wouldnt fuckin matter SunuvaChod: so yes i would
<Guillotine>: The problem with being Democrat is that if you vote for Obama, you're sexist. And if you vote for Hilary, you're racist. Its easy being a Republican. No matter what you're retarded.
<fugi> when mccain wins the election and invades iran, do we get to yell "Monopoly!" and put hotels across iraq, iran and afghanistan?
<maiden> the wife is going to acupuncture to help us get pregnant...$65 a week <knightmare> I'd think if she needed little pricks to get pregnant you would've gotten the job done months ago
* sAh got rearended on his way to work today < soybean> how < sAh> the girl's car skidded < sAh> minor damage to my bumper < sAh> i could care less < soybean> but the most important question < soybean> WAS SHE CUTE < sAh> easiest phone number i ever got
<andy> meaningful conversation always brighten one's day... <Pkekyo|> no fucking wonder it's pitch black outside
<BillyM> If life were like IRC, my mom would be kicked for flooding and repeating text.
<Jam> brb, I think my parents are having sex <Sentynel> ...why brb? <Asperoth> he wants to go find out for sure?
<SQB> It's coming in slow. <SQB> What are you using on your end? Carrier pigeons? Smoke signals? Talking drums? <XselloutX> The neighbours.
<piercings> A programmer started to cuss <piercings> Because getting to sleep was a fuss <piercings> As he lay there in bed <piercings> Looping 'round in his head <piercings> was: while(!asleep()) sheep++;
<Nanako> The only uniforms they had were too big <Nanako> So I have like a 3xl jacket <Nanako> it goes almost down to my knees. <Nanako> and the pants kept falling down my hips and I had to keep pulling them up. * Nanako CLEARLY ISN'T FAT ENOUGH <Tails> So you've got the gangsta UPS look going on <Nanako> fo sho <Nanako> all up in yo grill with mah package
< Laura> I used to have a preserved human penis in a jar. < Laura> It was lost in a move. < Laura> This made me sad until someone pointed out that that means that SOMEONE moved into a house and found a human penis in a jar. < Laura> This makes me feel better.
<MrNonchalant> she dumped me in the worst way possible <MrNonchalant> Facebook defriend and status change <MrNonchalant> one day you're in love with a girl who loves you, you have a romantic dinner, and you have a really nice moment together <MrNonchalant> two days later you type her name in Facebook search and it doesn't autocomplete <MrNonchalant> it doesn't autocomplete!
sploich 1: You know what's funny? sploich 1: From the late 1800's into even the 60's and I think 70's, women were fighting for their rights. sploich 1: Now, we have women like Fergie. sploich 1: It's like, they fight for almost 100 years to not be known as objects, then once they get that they dance in rap songs about male supremecy. SALawncare: then there's ann coulter sploich 1: He doesn't count.
< bluehat> the more I think about it, the more I realize I don't really need a perfect world to be happy < bluehat> I'd easily settle for one where it is physically impossible for a bathroom to run out of toilet paper < andrewjb> careful what you wish for < andrewjb> you may get that, but have to reuse the same sheets of toilet paper
<Helen> Well my husband never yells at me <Helen> Neither he swears nor say rude stuff to ppl <Helen> And he almost never stays late by computer <Helen> And he never cheats on me and never goes to that horrible drinking places like pubs and stuff <Helen> Isn't he great?! ^_^ <DialSoft> Hmmmm.......... <DialSoft> Try poking him with a stick <DialSoft> He seems pretty dead
lml-mike: i love to speak just after people saying : "...or not" lml-mike: it's compatible with EVERYTHING people says Quinten: you arent gay lml-mike: ... lml-mike: almost everything
<Skail[IRON]> I get a girlfriend-free evening, tonight. <Skail[IRON]> All evening. <Skail[IRON]> :D <Skail[IRON]> I'm thinking I'm going to sit on the couch in my underwear, drink beer, and watch porn. <Driedsponge> You don't do that WITH your girlfriend? <Skail[IRON]> No, she makes me drink wine.
<ZS-Hawk> When I turned 18, I got a gillette mach 3 in the mail from the air force I think. I opened it up in front of my parents, and my dad says "ooh, nice razor! I'm going to do to that one what you do with mine!" and before he could finish his sentence, I said "noo! Don't shave your balls with my razor!" and before he could think, he laughingly said "no, I mean beat it on the sink until the blades are all crooked!" <ZS-Hawk> About 10 minutes of my mom giggling and my dad realized what I said, but I was out the door. It never came up again.
<timtim> the recession is worse then a divorce, i've lost 50% of my assets and still have my wife
<Sam> Coding in C is like sending a 3 year old to do groceries. You gotta tell them exactly what you want or you'll end up with a cupboard full of pop tarts and pancake mix.
<+ajrez> same job when i moved across the street the cubes were lower, typical gray, and huge, 8x10 or something <+ajrez> at that location i ran some 2x4s up to 7' and covered my cube with camoflage netting <+ajrez> so in the middle of this giant room filled with cubes there was this bunker in the middle of it <+ajrez> CEO would give tours to investors... "and that over there is the security team" "ohhhhhhh" /knowing nods/
<Xikaze> I believe my mom finally realized that calling my brother a son of a bitch was fairly stupid on her part
Laggyware has left (Quit: There are three types of software. Free as in speech (FOSS), Free as in beer (Freeware) and Free as in BitTorrent.)
GreenWithEnvy89: what are you doing now pardusorientalis: writing GreenWithEnvy89: yay GreenWithEnvy89: show me when you get stiff GreenWithEnvy89: uhhh GreenWithEnvy89: did i say that? GreenWithEnvy89: stuff i meant GreenWithEnvy89: stuff pardusorientalis: XD pardusorientalis: stiff pardusorientalis: a stiffie
<Thalog> is it just me, or has our society come to the realisation of Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451? <Thalog> I recall being in a car filled with 5 people, excluding myself <Thalog> but no one was talking <Thalog> everyone was doing things on their cell phones and such <UlsterResident> ah, yeah <Thalog> and they might as well have not have been there <Thalog> and when they did talk, they didn't really say anything in particular <UlsterResident> I'm gunna go watch some TV <UlsterResident> bbl <Thalog> ...
<Arbe> there's this really pretty girl at college <Arbe> all her friends hate me though <Arbe> with good reason <Arbe> what do i do??? <xpCynic> look for someone else <~blackhole89> Download a girl ending in .jpg instead <Arbe> will she keep me warm at night? <~blackhole89> get a laptop <Arbe> and tell me that the future doesn't matter? <~blackhole89> with speakers