volsung> *Sigh* jack> sigh what? volsung> Talking to my mom again. volsung> I tried to explain that job #1 is modeling the effects of the solar wind on the Earth's magnetic field and that my advisor's model wasn't working at all. volsung> Her immediate response was "Well, that's because you aren't taking into account the effect of consciousness on the charged particles." volsung> I did not know how to respond to that.
<nylint> a pedophile and a little girl were walking into the woods <nylint> and the little girl said 'these woods are scary at night, mister' <nylint> and the pedophile said 'you're scared? i have to walk back alone!'
<stealth_> my brother downloaded cm4 from kazaa <stealth_> and... it went pretty well for him <stealth_> he had been playing for about 1½ hours <stealth_> then this message pops up. <stealth_> "had fun? well fu you and go buy the game you warez haxx0r" <stealth_> then the game crashed :)
<Devilmouse> help!!! <Devilmouse> * Yam invites you to join #gay <Devilmouse> i joined and they wont let me back out
(Kixx^) Where can I download internet ? (@Osc) Kixx^ goto http://www.irchelp.org/download for info on getting files of any kind via IRC. Kixx^) *lol*
<Cyber_Akuma> They REALLY want to make dying in the game realistic <Cyber_Akuma> The pc insantly locked up when i died
<@ott> i work with a guy who has zacklee <@ott> his breath smells zacklee like his ass
<dragondyne> doritos are just as good though <dragondyne> but the residue on your hands SUCKS ASS <Mog116> yeah <dragondyne> you need gloves to eat them <AvaLance204> Yes doritos mess up your hands <shadow> I don't mind the residue <Mog116> dorito residue sucks dragondyne> they should come with a pair of latex gloves <dragondyne> they would sell more <shadow> I usually eat chips when I'm not using my hands <shadow> er <AvaLance204> :o <shadow> you know what I mean <AvaLance204> lofl <dragondyne> wtf <shadow> when I'm not using my hands for anything else <Mog116> what <shadow> ah crap <shadow> screw it <dragondyne> do you stick your head in the bag and rotate or something
<+Jasper> SourceX, its because of people like you that they put up signs that say "Please don't touch the animals" in zoos <+Jasper> -P <@SourceX> i wouildnt do it with other ppl around anyways <@SourceX> the signs are pointless
<basschimp> sitting down in a kilt is easy. after the first few times. <Yardbomb> Heehee <Yardbomb> lol <Ant-> after the first few "AWW SWEET JESUS MAN"s?
<Borgus> How does one go about becoming an op? <Fembot> kneepads, a dark room, and a strong stomach
<Zimbu> heh, the ad bar on fark speaks for itself... <Zimbu> "1000s of naked women on your desktop! NSFW!: 18 comments" <Zimbu> "Revenge Lady- My story of complete and utter humiliation: 8 comments" <Zimbu> "i saw a turtle: 1136 comments"
<GaNja> anyone here good at setting up video cards? <Blue> nope, im horrible at it myself, so bad in fact i dont even havea video card <GaNja> oh <GaNja> that sucks
<Xenophon> I was talking to this really cute girl, when I was on a walk with my parents. I hadn't seen her in years. After exchanging university experiences, I asked for her ph # and my dad jumped out of the woodwork and said "I'll memorize half of it for ya!"
<Fembot> what did one "racing stripe" in jitspoe's toilet say to another one? <Fembot> "are you alright? you look a little flushed."
<Blue> yeah, a copy of it was found in a desert <Blue> the guy turned it into the newspaper or something instead of doing the right thing <Blue> which of course is ebaying it
<Calrathan> well, I'm screwed <Calrathan> not gunna get this work done <Fryth> irc to the rescue! <Calrathan> yay <Calrathan> it doesnt fix your problems... <Calrathan> but it sure makes you forget em
<[GUNr]J0E> hahahah ive gotten laid more than jit <jitspoe> I'm saving my virginity for a female
* jitspoe had forgotten how time consuming modeling is <spdif> keep your clothes on jit. no matter how much money they offer you
<KnacK|WorK> oximoron of the day "Microsoft To Teach Undergrads About Secure Computing"
(?) kullen- (~WTF-kulle@as8-1-2.am.g.bonet.se) enters #lesbian CoulomB: turn around CoulomB: no lesbians here. (?) kullen- (~WTF-kulle@as8-1-2.am.g.bonet.se) leaves #lesbian CoulomB: all gone, big lesbian fire of 96.
* cuba has joined #uplink <cuba> hoi all * Dave2|Laptop bans trade with cuba * Luigi30 arms cuba with missiles <KeaponLaffin> Luigi30: hey now, no bay of pigs
<JakeD> My fingers are so fucking big that I'm all like "apjps0-3" just trying to type the word "hi" <Winter> wow, i bet you're a hit with the ladies. <JakeD> Yeah. "Hi, I'm Lisa." "apjps0-3" "....Fucking freak." <Winter> i was thinking IRL, but i suppose you're more clumsy there? <JakeD> That was an IRL example.
Substitue Teacher> Alright class. Here's the next question. Spain was divided into what? Hint, Canada has these. Dane> Umm... Canadians! Kyle> ... Provinces you idiot...
< 01@peregrine > Then a great item, the 24 Hour Bukkake Semen of Moe Nishimura < 01@peregrine > -- poor Moe-chan has men blowing their wads on her as she goes about her < 01@peregrine > daily life, brushing her teeth, sleeping, going to the bathroom, and so on < 01@peregrine > dude that's bukkake i'd consider watching < 01@peregrine > the comedy < 01@chesed > I think that'd get annoying when you're doing your daily activies and random guys are blowing their load all over you < 01@chesed > it'd prolly be the worst day to do laundry < 01@chesed > "I just fucking cleaned that! FUCK!" < 01@peregrine > you'd need an allstar male crew < 01@peregrine > with precision aim < 01@chesed > haha < 01@chesed > matrix load-blowing < 01@peregrine > i'm just imagining like < 01@peregrine > guys hidden in the bushes and shit, as she walks by < 01@krelian > that's what happens in 24 hours bukakke < 01@krelian > they like bust out of the closet < 01@krelian > and it's a hit and run cum * peregrine rolls < 01@spider-hime > hahah < 01@krelian > girl walks into the bathroom < 01@krelian > and dude blows his load < 01@peregrine > they need to just go all the way < 01@peregrine > and have some chick being tormented by a clan of bukkake ninjas < 01@krelian > *girl walks down street* < 01@krelian > *ninjas out of bushes* < 01@peregrine > hehe < 01@peregrine > totally < 01@krelian > *ninjas blow load* < 01@peregrine > then DISAPPEAR < 01@krelian > <girl> what the hell was that! < 01@spider-hime > STEALTH BUKKAKE < 01@krelian > *girl walks down street* < 01@krelian > <girl> omg it's raining < 01@Perrin > *camera pans to roof of building*
<Aury> O.o;; You all have to wait longer for movies to come out? <leckie> Well yeah... sometimes. <Aury> What is that, some sort of backwater hell of a town? <leckie> It's the UK Aury.
<WorkLord> nasa uses both systems <WorkLord> on martian landers <WorkLord> hehe <Luigi30> That's why all our stuff explodes <Luigi30> Especially shuttles <Luigi30> and Mars landers <WorkLord> ITS OK EVERYONE <WorkLord> HES BACK TO STUPID <WorkLord> armageddon averted <Luigi30> in Soviet Union, shuttles explode YOU! * Luigi30 runs around farting <Luigi30> Yay! I'm stupid! * Luigi30 explodes leaving a jagged black mark on the ground and some smoke <Dave2> YAY!!!!
<[M4X]> CASEMODDER this isn t about me or who has your underwear. This is about me and the fact you re not wearing any underwear. <[M4X]> :) <CaseModder> get away from ma ass u queer <[M4X]> lol * CaseModder puts some boxers on <[TFF]monkey> hands on balls, bums on walls lads * [M4X] opens secret passage in wall <[M4X]> MUHAHAHAH * CaseModder puts on chasity belt
<eva> hey guys, guess what im eating right now! <Ed> big black cocks dripping with pearly semen. <eva> starts with a 3 <Ed> three big black cocks dripping with pearly semen.
* Mike0ne sneaks up quietly and has sex in Jarrith <cakemix26> just ackt up <Jarrith> MIKEONE HAS HERPES <Jarrith> oh god * Jarrith runs away <Jarrith> that was badly timed
<pkmk> fuck i'm in wordpad now <pabegimas> programming with wordpad? wow that's really bad <pkmk> actually wordpad is very good for programming - you can set the font what you want
(Lp|dust1n[WWGL]) god damn (Wheelman56) ? (Lp|dust1n[WWGL]) this bread is hard (Lp|dust1n[WWGL]) fuck! (Lp|dust1n[WWGL]) I thru it at the window and the window is broke (Lp|dust1n[WWGL]) brb
<Jaz> every playboy playmate 1955-2002 <chrissy> in your house? shit! that's a lot of boobies! <Jaz> hehe <Asmodeus> yeah, but they're models, 5 ice cubes and a roll of toilet paper and you can feed the lot of them for a day
[16:50] <slammes> you know that the difficult part is not to avoid porn. that is easy. but to say no to your own dick
<Rogue> You can have quit messages? <Rogue> I always try and rejoin real fast to read it but i always miss it <Rogue> Im getting closer
<TripleRach> Hmm classical music isn't good for it at all <MiraiMatt> No classical does not blast <TripleRach> I can't like open my windows and yell at my neighbors "HOW BOUT SOME BEETHOVEN MOTHERFUCKERS"
<ChaosBob> somebody needs to write an irc client that makes chat text look like source code <ChaosBob> for when your boss walks in the room
<ab0mination> Snow White has been sacked by Disney Productions. Apparently she was caught sitting on Pinochio's face singing "Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies".
<MattC> i gotta input like a foot high pack of paper into a computer <xerent> omg... fold it carefully and use the floppy drive?
[PaleMoon] Video killed the radio star [PaleMoon] which is fortunate.. cos radio porn never really caught on
(Mountain): i'am the mountain where u all ppl fight and fight to climb on me (AndyDev): breasts?
(Xerox): Right on! Hey, there are some Thai tribes that are afraid of spirits called phii, or "widow ghosts." These spirits are sexually voracious women who have died violently, and they attack men in their sleep. The charm for these are giant wooden phallus carvings outside the house. They work by acting as decoys. (Squizzle): Xerox: Eh, every culture tries to explain nocturnal emissions. (Xerox): To quote my book: "...Ranging from the crudest wooden shafts, to carefully carved images complete with coconut shell testicles and fishnet pubic hair..." (Xerox): Yes, but this one I find particularly humorous. (Xerox): Imagine going into some village and seeing giant penis statues everywhere. (Squizzle): That would truly rule. (Rico): It'd be funnier if the Moai had giant stone schlongs. (Xerox): Well, that certainly would've made a few old Konami shooters a lot more interesting... (Rico): Options- the glorified orange spermicide.
* +bulitpruf is AFK, playing horseshoes wit my blind uncle and his midget son * +sab0t is AFK, playing horseshoes with my midget son & my gay nephew
Video games don't affect kids, I mean if Pac Man affected us as kids, we'd all run around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music. - Kristian Wilson, CEO at Nintendo Gaming Corporation Inc.
<toe2toe> See in the news that prince harry apparantly regularly picks up girls and takes them home <toe2toe> im just trying to picture that <toe2toe> *Whispering* "Be very quiet, i dont want to wake my dad.." <toe2toe> *shouting* "LOWER THE DRAWBRIDGE!"
<Volt9000> Forget stabbing people in the face over the Internet.... I'd become wealthy if I made a program where you enter someone's IP address and you can remotely sterilize them
< bijection> Could everyone in IT do me a favour? Stop using the word "solution" to describe fucking everything under the sun. A computer is not a "solution". A piece of software is not a "solution". A minimum wage asshole plugging in the $1.50 network cable is not a "solution".
<TurdS> i have to go and negociate the release of the chocolate hostages * TurdS is now known as TurdS[shitting]