hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21142 Approved Quotes | 1 in Moderation Queue
#105350 [ + | - ] 337
<dora> I got one of those new penus razors
<rigel> ...
<dora> shit, I meant venus
<dora> BAD typo
<KAb0rN78> p and v are not even next to each other..
<rigel> now we all know what she's thinking about
<dora> :P
#105344 [ + | - ] 416
PlasmaPhire: the definition of irony...
RFizzyWig: what
PlasmaPhire: people are sharing Kazaa Lite, the one that's not
free, on regular Kazaa
RFizzyWig: hahaha
#105340 [ + | - ] 62
[Bords] im sick of ppl making fun of "uranus"
[Kirby] yeah me to.
[Kirby] Hey! Let's rename it!
[nosebleed] let's call it urrektum
#105339 [ + | - ] 21
[nosebleed] the only good thing about t.a.t.u. are that theyre
lesbians
#105337 [ + | - ] 426
<MpTaNk> today, somthing on TV was going in slow motion, and
my first reaction was "Damnit, the tv is lagging"
#105336 [ + | - ] 182
<SypaNick> You get fischer price sql with MS
<SypaNick> My first SQL server.
#105334 [ + | - ] 245
<RanmaGuy> you know what would be a great logo for rice
pudding
<RanmaGuy> a tall black man with an asian hat working the rice
fields
<RanmaGuy> as a whiteman rides a horse carrying a whip
<xv0wind0vx> that's so utterly racist even the KKK would be
offended.
#105332 [ + | - ] 384
(Lestat): I wish you didn't agree with me.
(Lestat): It makes me think I might be wrong.
#105331 [ + | - ] 76
(Oolong): i don't really want to seduce a midget, unless he's
hot
#105325 [ + | - ] 215
Camman2003: like real life duck hunt
LpInKyD: yeah where you can shoot the annoying dog
Camman2003: yeah\
Camman2003: but dont you lose points for that?
LpInKyD: not in real life
#105324 [ + | - ] 210
<Chaz> What kind of backwards society do you live in?
<Renzian> It's called Canada.
#105320 [ + | - ] 293
[Participle] Ever since I saw bukkake, I can't eat cinnamon
rolls anymore...
[Participle] Thanks a lot, Japan!
#105318 [ + | - ] 728
<dj`rayray[eN]> If Wile Coyote had enough money for all that
Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner
#105310 [ + | - ] 182
<Ciserock> anyways, im flooding your channel cuz your gay and
mReD's gay
<Sinistarr> Oh no, a flood of one line every 5 seconds!
Whatever will my 300bps connection do!?
#105296 [ + | - ] 56
<evilpie> what the fuck is wtf
<cardcheat> World Trade Federation
<SteamedHams> world trade fire
<cardcheat> Women That Fuck
<SteamedHams> Wow That's Funny
<cardcheat> Well, Try Farting
<SteamedHams> What The Nigger
<cardcheat> as a respected leader in the african-american
community, I'm going to have to ask you to refrain from using
that word
<SteamedHams> hey it'll get me on bash
#105295 [ + | - ] 118
<DigitalChaos> ifi eightball shows up, tell him i'm lookin for
him :p
* Quits: DigitalChaos
<acid88> do i look like aol instant messenger to you?
#105289 [ + | - ] 256
<involution> yeah, my code is so fucking clean, and looks
wicked good
<involution> but usually never works
<archimedes> same here
#105288 [ + | - ] 167
* Luigi30 sets mode -mirc.lameness #gamecube
* You were kicked by Xenobyte (colors/gay script)
* Attempting to rejoin channel #gamecube
* Rejoined channel #gamecube
<Luigi30> How can a script be gay?
<Luigi30> Scripts are asexual
<Luigi30> :P
* You were kicked by Xenobyte (General Lameness)
* Attempting to rejoin channel #gamecube
* Rejoined channel #gamecube
<Luigi30> That's better.
#105284 [ + | - ] 283
<juicy_J> i have a question for you goose
<GooseThe> k
<juicy_J> pay $500 to get a female to give you oral, or free
from a homeless man named steve
<GooseThe> 500
<juicy_J> suppose you only have 10.35 and a pack of smarties
<CpuMan2001> uh
<CpuMan2001> get a prostitute with diabetes
#105283 [ + | - ] 320
<NicNac`> well, i heard that looks could kill
* NicNac` looks at sexmen
*** Quits: sexmen (Ping timeout)
<NicNac`> !!
<Amaltea> WOAH!!!
[11:50] <Amaltea> a killer look!
#105279 [ + | - ] 211
< chris> Meanwhile, I am participating in all that is unholy
and rightly hated
< chris> Namely, I am writing a Java Applet that runs in a
browser and is controlled by JavaScript
<@phessler> hahaha
* chris commits hara-kiri to minimize the dishonor to his
family
< chris> phessler: Yeah, but the thing is: this is way better
than what I was doing before, which was Flash coding
< chris> Flash, Java and JavaScript -- all in a day's work
< chris> Incidentally, I am looking for a new job...
#105270 [ + | - ] 380
<conlusio> besides, I'll do something stupid soon myself I'm
sure
<Irlut> conlusio: true, true :)
<conlusio> oh fuck
<conlusio> I just did it
<conlusio> I cut up the brand new fucking credit cards instead
of the old ones
<conlusio> talk about instant fucking karma
#105267 [ + | - ] 918
<[HZ]Mitlancer> Dont talk about death.... please my
grandfather just died
<[HZ]Mitlancer> No serious he did just die....
<[HZ]Mitlancer> In a way im quite proud of him
<[HZ]Mitlancer> he died having sex to my grandma, he is 93
years old and was getting his thing on
<[HZ]Mitlancer> anyways my grandma said "We were doing it on
sunday morning, it was sunday cause he could use the church
bells to pace himself"
<[HZ]Mitlancer> i think he would be alive today if an icecream
van didnt go past
#105266 [ + | - ] 45
<Jamon> The last time I stuck my dick into a stuffed animal,
stuffing got stuck in the hole..that just plain sucked.
#105260 [ + | - ] 136
<Hydra> Gary Coleman's the shit...
<int> ...
<rizen> yeah, he's about the size and coloration of a turd
#105259 [ + | - ] 211
<Zenholder> JavaScript kicks ass
<Nanobot> JavaScript sucks ass
<Nanobot> You were off by two letters
#105257 [ + | - ] 63
<Nanobot> My school has a zero-tolerence policy for racism
<Nanobot> No niggers allowed
#105254 [ + | - ] 411
[17:36] <Darric> lol, Rick, according to the stats I'm
responsible for ending conversations on 5 different
occassions. =P
[18:43] <Darric> You guys are doing this on purpose...
#105252 [ + | - ] 501
<Shun2> woot
<Shun2> I found the last GTA3 hidden package
<slm> wow, welcome to two years ago
<The359> lol
<slm> Are you gonna beat bowser next?
<Shun2> dude
<Shun2> he's tough
#105249 [ + | - ] 432
<gore> man
<gore> i wouldnt be caught dead with a necropheliac
#105248 [ + | - ] 172
* SniperDave thinks the middle of a public swimming pool
during open hours is an impractical place for lesbian rape
<Kazimierz> yeah, at least have the decency to make it an open
air swimming pool
<Kazimierz> they just have no idea of realism in anime
#105247 [ + | - ] 202
<Celestar> note to self: Next person who wants to talk me into
buying his firewall by telling me that my computer broadcasts
an IP address will be ball-hung
#105245 [ + | - ] 410
<Halibut> Oh dear
<Halibut> I just tried to swat a fly with my cursor
#105244 [ + | - ] 405
<ShamansMystery> odd, i'm ignoreing msn and mygf is online and
not bitching at me for ignoring her
<CyberDoc> Mayb shes cybering with someone else Shaman hehe.
* bacon03 slowly closes msn
#105242 [ + | - ] 174
<toaster> Whats' the worst thing about having a heart/lung
transplant ?
<toaster> Coughing up somebody else's phlegm
#105240 [ + | - ] 316
<@bort13> I don't have my virginity, but I still have the box
it came in
#105238 [ + | - ] 287
<feral> woo hoo..... i knew watchin MacGyver all these nights
would pay off <feral> i just rewired the end of my cat5 cable
with a pocket knife and a safety pin
#105233 [ + | - ] 183
* Azwok (~Mini_Mc88@=Hsmqzsw-30.honey-damsel.dialup.pol.co.uk)
Quit (Ping Timeout)
<Elleomea> heh, freeserve have freaky machine names :/
<Elleomea> "honey-damsel"
<Elleomea> I can't help feeling that should be a euphamism for
prostitute or something
#105231 [ + | - ] 2
<Tomasu> !calc 2**64
<Mossie> calc, result '1.84467440737096e+19'
<Tomasu> !calc 2**128
<Mossie> calc, result '3.40282366920938e+38'
<entheh> !calc meow
<Mossie> calc, error 'Bareword "meow" not allowed while
"strict subs" in use at (eval 15) line 1, <GEN0> line 66.
#105228 [ + | - ] 179
(+[Aries]^PCW) OH HAS ARIES STILL GOT IT
(+[Aries]^PCW) I THINK SO!
(+Sheepy) im sure itll go away if you take those pills the
doctor prescribed
#105225 [ + | - ] 258
* EddieCoon mashes his hands against the keyboard idly.
<EddieCoon> Wow! What're the chances that that would come out
from mashing my hands against the keyboard!
#105216 [ + | - ] 88
<sent> 84 counts of rape ;/
<cougSanF> yeah
<cougSanF> all while the girls were drugged
<cougSanF> and he filmed it
<cranky-> 84 counts of rape?
<shaan> hm
<shaan> are the vids on kazaa?
#105213 [ + | - ] 215
<Airlea> it used to horrify me every time we went past a field
of sheep.. he'd make all these noises. That's why he's an ex.
#105209 [ + | - ] 373
<omega> it was funny
<omega> we had this argument ('ve been getting into a lot of
these latley, about the us)
<omega> and as soon as i brought in the facts
<omega> like
<omega> that the patriot missile system is the same as it was
in desert storm, minus a few tweaks like radar upgrades
<omega> and how the US put saddam in power in the first place
<omega> gave him weapons
<omega> and shit
<omega> and how the US put whats his face in power in panama,
and then had to later go in and get him
<omega> and the whole arming and training bin laden
<omega> he decided the only way he could counter it
<omega> was by saying that since the USD is worth 30 cents
more than canada's therefore canada sucks, and the US is smart
<omega> and then he stopped talking
#105208 [ + | - ] 14
<BobTheMilkman> eating eggs is liking giving a bird an
abortion followed by eating the aborted fetus
#105202 [ + | - ] 194
<JOCK> i want to go to Six Fags
<JOCK> Flags>>>>>>.....sorry
<KID_B> You wanna go do Six Fags?
* KID_B steps back
<KID_B> word up man.. do your thing..
<JOCK> nawww man
<JOCK> you know rides,lonnytoons,and stuff
<KID_B> Yeah. Gay bars.
#105201 [ + | - ] 194
<Wasted-> http://bash.org/?1730
<Wasted-> http://bash.org/?3630
<BadDoggie> http://bash.org/?22799
<BadDoggie> Wasted: quit typing the top 100
<Mitzii> why, your monitor running out of ink or something???
#105199 [ + | - ] 708
[anewname] CAPS LOCK IS LIKE CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL
#105197 [ + | - ] 393
<CaSe-> mines this big
[-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------]

<Commando^> Your dick has wordwrap?
#105196 [ + | - ] 205
<gbWrk> * U.N. nuke agency urges Iran to be 'fully
transparent'
<gbWrk> turn Iran into glass!