hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21142 Approved Quotes | 1 in Moderation Queue
#100719 [ + | - ] 362
neiras: "Next week on FOX, watch lions eat Christians!"
ennoia: Fuck
ennoia: I need cable
#100595 [ + | - ] 37
<RANMA316> Japanese snacks rock
<PooIsYummy> No they don't, japanese snacks suck.
<PooIsYummy> They aren't treats, if you gave them to small
children in north america they'd start to cry
#100570 [ + | - ] 1258
* ConstipatedElderlyMan bleeds internally and dies, another
silent victim of constipation
<gothik> shit happens
<Adam^> not for him.
#100559 [ + | - ] 109
<Necroth|HAPPY> <|707th|Selerox> not even god understands
women <-- not even womans understand womans ;)
<|MoK|Fluid> Thank god, else we wouldn't have catfights.
#100541 [ + | - ] 393
* woodss has Favourites
* fungi has Bookmarks
* morner has a secretary :P
morner: well, more of an assistant really
morner: ...
morner: ok, it's a pda
#100527 [ + | - ] 566
<Snipe> you forget though, I have wayyy too much time on my
hands
<Snipe> wait, no i dont
<Snipe> fuck that project is due tomorrow
<Snipe> brb
#100524 [ + | - ] 220
<boyd> anyway, theres a survey on the back and one question is
"What was the easiest way to make new friends at your Teritary
Institution?"
<boyd> if my name wasn't going to be attached to it, i'd put
something like "i'm doing computer science, I  HAVE NO FRIENDS
#100523 [ + | - ] 67
<Vangalisk> Gawd, if that american idle twat got any heavier
rotation her makeup is going to fly off her face in large
cakes
#100498 [ + | - ] 288
<TriNitY> how are u only 1/2 hour ahed?
<TriNitY> ur clock iz fux0r3d
<Mr_Man> i set my clocks ahead for no good reason other than i
feel like i step into the future when i enter my room
#100494 [ + | - ] 310
<eidos> INFINITE/2 = middle, DUH
#100489 [ + | - ] 656
<@John> why does there have to be sunlight
<@Luster> so us geeks know when to go to bed
#100487 [ + | - ] 251
<Lyndrek> I don't like Pulp Fiction
<Nalani> Why would you dislike Pulp?
<DarkLich> Maybe it confused him.
<DarkLich> Maybe he was like, "What?! John Travolta died two
scenes ago!"
#100486 [ + | - ] 438
<nailer> I think I'm tired - I just spent three seconds
wondering why `Data Track' by `Data Track' wouldn't play from
this CD
#100483 [ + | - ] 32
<Yellah> Celebrate the decrimalisation of Pot
<[Piratez]> lets make this national
* [Piratez] replaces the maple leaf on the Canadian flag with
a weed leaf.
#100481 [ + | - ] 711
<ChOwShAdY> like i fucked a 14 year old when i was 17
<ChOwShAdY> she was immature as a motherufcker
<@impuritor> dude, that is quite possibly the dumbest thing
i've ever heard anyone say in my entire life
<@impuritor> that's like saying
<@impuritor> "My car runs like shit when i'm out of gas"
#100479 [ + | - ] 229
[+miles] okay, two irish guys are walking down this street,
right...okay they see this sign that says: "Tree Fellers
Wanted" and they go, "oh blast, its a pity theres only the two
of us"
#100475 [ + | - ] 40
<@modernman> Juicy.Pussies.Uncensored.JAV-XRS
<@modernman> id fuckin hope its uncensored
#100470 [ + | - ] 763
<Deepthroat> The thing that always got me about the goatse.cx
guy is that he's wearing a wedding ring. Does his wife know he
can cram a week's worth of camping gear up there? Does she
know that her husband's gaping ass has become an internet
super sensation? Is it a secret, or is she a part of his anal
adventures? Did she clap when he managed to solve a Rubik's
cube using only the muscles of his colon?
<StarDonut> Deepthroat: For all you know, she's the one with
the camera.
#100468 [ + | - ] 180
<grem> hah
<grem> for the first time in years gold is actually worht MORE
than weed
#100456 [ + | - ] 349
<skie`> the guy who sits next to me in french class had a
friend that was going through CS in college, so we were
talking about that... probably 4 or 5 people turn around and
say "What the hell, colleges have a CounterStrike department
now?"
#100452 [ + | - ] 389
<Monarx> If it's 2003, where's my flying cars?
<Monarx> And jetpacks?
<Proto_K> hehe
<Proto_K> all those old cartoons
<Monarx> And other hoohah?
<Proto_K> that depict the "future" in 1991 AD
<||bass> yea
<||bass> 1991
<||bass> Mc Hammer
<||bass> talk about a fuckin disappointment, huh
#100415 [ + | - ] 1507
<windows_macgeek> Is there a way to overclock a compact flash
card to have more storage?
<InvisableMan> umm..... can you overclock the memory in your
computer to give you more storage?
<windows_macgeek> HAHAHA!!!! Of course not, idiot!
<InvisableMan> you just took the words right out of my mouth.
<windows_macgeek> ...Oh.
#100413 [ + | - ] 297
<klafka4> i actually am sick
<klafka4> i think it's allergy
<AlbinoSqrl> to real life?
<klafka4> what? real life is great i've got my fantasy and
scifi books, my anime, my tv!
#100378 [ + | - ] 439
<deceptika> god created shit....honda made it move
#100374 [ + | - ] 195
<  ILjWerk> I'm on terror alert level fuscia
#100373 [ + | - ] 184
* norn changes topic to 'scorp on marriage: [06:08] <Scorpy>
It's like free falling off a cliff, it's fun and exciting for
a while and then you hit the ground and die or break most of
your bones in your body.'
#100336 [ + | - ] 414
<ch> Cn linux just drop some chrcters from the keybord or is
it more likely tht my lptop keybord is bd?
#100327 [ + | - ] 79
[Kris] friggen brazilians are still going nuts, even second
defacement is by some group which hangs on brasnet
[jimmiejaz] they just got electricity, they've got to catch
up.
#100322 [ + | - ] 825
<Gareth> HOW DO I DOWNLOAD GAMES!!!
<TK421-> WHOA LIKE I CAN TELL YOU HOW YO!
<TK421-> Go to download.com and download a few game demos,
depending on which ones you download they will combine to make
different versions of MECHADEMO! *sings power rangers theme
song*
<Gareth> DUDE FUCK YOU
#100314 [ + | - ] 100
<the_almighty_shoe> i bought concert tickets for a stranger i
met on online once.
<the_almighty_shoe> but it was an Tori Amos concert, so it was
his/her's loss.
#100308 [ + | - ] 706
<mg|Nibble> haha I just use my daughter text phone to email
her friends she was gay
<LeadOP-Toast> isn't that a bit sick? :P
<mg|Nibble> yup
<LeadOP-Toast> kk :)
<LeadOP-Toast> She's not going to be happy :P
<mg|Nibble> servers her right for running a £200 phone bill up
on me
<LeadOP-Toast> oh, fair nuff then
<LeadOP-Toast> :P
<mg|Nibble> revenge rocks :)
#100294 [ + | - ] 1130
<noddy> this nekkid gurl is a cutie
<noddy> she's very nekkid now
<noddy> and playing with a carrot
<noddy> or a dildo
<noddy> not sure
<Mortarion> remind me never to eat anything you cook
#100292 [ + | - ] 419
<Uhh_Duh> I've got four kick-ass cisco routers coming in the
mail.
<Uhh_Duh> Sorry ladies.. I'm taken...
#100288 [ + | - ] 843
<KZoo> COX
<devilboy> VAGINAL ORIFICE
<KZoo> thats not a service provider
<KZoo> well....i guess it is
#100285 [ + | - ] 234
<K8> well the theme was aincient history
<josh_ip_te> oh,
<josh_ip_te> and you went as a viking?
<K8> and my friend had some home made costumes
* josh_ip_te wouldve gone as a black michael jackson
#100276 [ + | - ] 205
<Bob> I was gonna join the army, until the war started
#100245 [ + | - ] 766
<+[aa]Ho_O> i would fuck any chick i see on the internet
<+sm4k[X-D]> www.tubgirl.com
<+[aa]Ho_O> fuck.
<+[aa]Ho_O> wouldnt WOULDNT WOULDNT WOULDNT WOULDNT
#100203 [ + | - ] 346
<devilc0ck> guess who'z d/l'ing turtle power
<devilc0ck> guess who'z d/l'ing turtle power
<devilc0ck> guess who'z got the ninja rap..
<fingers> guess who's all alone in thinking how kewl that is
#100194 [ + | - ] 1238
<SaxxonPike> there are 10 types of people in this world: those
who understand binary, and those who don't give a fuck
<jon`> whats binary?
<SaxxonPike> and then there's you.
#100185 [ + | - ] 256
<[Piratez]> i had a computer security class; teacher talking
about sept. 11 bombing.. he goes.. 'you know how much
computers were lost in the bombing'....
#100159 [ + | - ] 681
PunkRocks64: we watched Matrix 1 in chemistry today.
PunkRocks64: and you know how Morpheus says the beginning of
the end was the creation of AI?
EventuallyAdonis: what about it?
PunkRocks64: he says basically that the what started the
machines taking over was human's fascination with AI..
PunkRocks64: and.. have you noticed that like 99% of our
population is infatuated with American Idol .........
EventuallyAdonis: that's deep
#100158 [ + | - ] -7
<alexandhisteninchlink> you're not witty
<alexandhisteninchlink> and you have no life.
<alexandhisteninchlink> Hack me.
<Cowface> Uh. I did not hack anybody or anything.
<alexandhisteninchlink> I'll sue you for all that you're
worth.
<alexandhisteninchlink> Being that you're worth nothing,
<alexandhisteninchlink> I'll sue you for all that you'll ever
be worth.
<alexandhisteninchlink> DO NOT challenge me.
<alexandhisteninchlink> I'm not as easy as the rest.
<Cowface> I don't even know who you are. @_@
(ten second pause)
<alexandhisteninchlink> I'm more than you'll ever be,
<alexandhisteninchlink> and that's all you ever need to know.
*** alexandhisteninchlink has quit IRC (Quit:)
#100123 [ + | - ] 307
<@Asha`monkey> Storm is like a 64 or something like that.
<+darkLem> boy, he looks younger than he is obviously.
<+nosphalot> he scarifices virgins to keep up appearance
<+darkLem> ...so THAT'S why he hangs around on IRC!
#100103 [ + | - ] 1859
<jebus_Y2k> Here are some helpful hints just in case you may
want to send me a virus.
<jebus_Y2k> 1. Don't threaten me repeatedly before you send
the virus.
<jebus_Y2k> 2. Don't attatch the virus to a message that says
"SUCK THIS, BITCH".
<jebus_Y2k> 3. Don't name it virus.exe.
#100097 [ + | - ] 302
Justin: fred got a new motherboard
Justin: bbl, geekhuddle
#100089 [ + | - ] 39
<merkzu> i fucking hate my dishwasher
<pagan> its super easy to rinse off dishes if you do it right
when your done :)
<pagan> letting it sit for days is the killer
<jstepka-w> pagan ++:
<merkzu> i just dont like anything that interferes with my
lazyness
#100085 [ + | - ] 589
<jome> I suppose there are bad coders, there are really bad
coders, there are fucking retards, and there's coders writing
lines like this: $resultscode = $resultscode - 0;
<jome> Serious, that's an actual line from a script I'm going
to rewrite..
#100084 [ + | - ] 259
<Khuffie> you know there's something inherently wrong when the
first thing you do after you wake up is check your computer
for any messages, yet you know for a fact that you can count
the number of people who care using two hands
<Khuffie> wait
<Khuffie> make that one hand
#100077 [ + | - ] 163
<invitado> i want to know if there is some "encarta" on linux
<Nermal> man ?
#100017 [ + | - ] 141
<Coota> Hmmm... I'm in a dilemma. I'm in love with accents,
especially British ones, but I don't like fat girls. Now, the
girl who wants to make out with me *does* have an accent, but
she is a little overweight... what to do...
<PatPandaHat> make her exercise before you'll make out with
her.
<Coota> Pat: Hee. Tell her I have a minimum PFT score
requirement before I make out with a girl? ;)
<Darien> tell her it's a religious thing
<PatPandaHat> "Sorry, I don't do pork unless it's lean."