hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21142 Approved Quotes | 1 in Moderation Queue
#83546 [ + | - ] 450
<ascii_phil> And if you ever need something to scare children
with[0], I'll
describe the tenant cycle implementation.
<ascii_phil> [0] Well, database-knowledgable geek children.
* daveious is scared enough by the implementation of
footnotes in IRC,
thankyouverymuch
#83538 [ + | - ] 156
<Oli> i havent got my email yet.
<Rossell> Oli: That the police found your gay card?
<Reid> You need a CARD now?
<Reid> Where do I, umm, obtain one?
<Rossell> Parliament
#83518 [ + | - ] 263
<Raine> Loggy, you ever hear of Escape Velocity?
<Loggy> I DONT KNOW THE NAME, BUT THE FACE SURE RINGS A
BELL!!!  BWAHAHAHAHHA!!!  LOLZ LOLZ LOLZ
*** Loggy has been kicked off channel #mooniverse by Raine
(jerk)
<Raine> LMAO
*** Loggy (~Loggy@12.25.86.106) has joined channel #mooniverse
<Loggy> damn AT&T...
*** Loggy has been kicked off channel #mooniverse by Al (You
go to hell and you die!)
<Raine> ROFL
<Al> hehe
*** Loggy (~Loggy@12.25.86.106) has joined channel #mooniverse
<Loggy> better give them a call..
#83515 [ + | - ] 903
<Starfleet> I'm playin America's Army Online
<Starfleet> My task is to provide Friendly Fire
#83512 [ + | - ] 226
<{R3D}Hurricane> you know your a geek when the highlight of
your vacation consisted of spying on people in the Oracle HQ
Building with binoculars from your hotel room
#83510 [ + | - ] 566
<corey|sleepin> bush is on tv
<static> wut he sayin corey?
<corey|sleepin> 'all yer oil are belong to us'
#83489 [ + | - ] 2690
<Luigi30> someone ping flood 127.0.0.1
<Luigi30> he keeps trying to hack me
<Luigi30> nm
<Floach> This, folks, is why Mario always gets the Princess.
#83455 [ + | - ] 915
<aberration> I hear they opened a wal-mart in china.... i can
imagine the people who shop there... "Hey I just made that
yesterday !"
#83449 [ + | - ] 121
<Samah> hmm the one bad thing about seeing cute chicks - it
gets me depressed.... T_T
<@toe2toe> /j #suicide
#83445 [ + | - ] -135
[03:25:01] <@holden> damnit i shit myself
[04:04:39] <@holden> god that took forever to clean up
[04:05:08] <@holden> seriously.. shitting yourself at 4 am is
gay
[04:05:20] <@holden> i was sitting here minding my own
business
[04:05:24] <@holden> and blam!
[04:05:28] <@holden> all this shit comes out..
[04:05:31] <@holden> i was like.. WTF
[04:05:49] <@holden> and its all liquidy and running around my
junk
[04:06:01] <@holden> and i'm sitting here like.. well fuck
[04:06:34] <@holden> so i get up.. and its all running down my
leg.. so i hobble off to the bathroom, so as not to disjar it
anymore
[04:06:40] <@holden> jakdflakjsdf
[04:06:52] <@holden> i can only pray this doesnt happen to
someone else
[04:07:54] <@holden> i think it was the pizza i ate last night
D:
#83375 [ + | - ] 278
<Nexus330> we got this phrase back south
<Nexus330> "Old enough to pee, is old enough for me"
<morbid> well that explains alot
#83326 [ + | - ] 406
<Lo-Rez> having sex lowers your immune system
<coalesce> i must be immune to everything then
#83322 [ + | - ] 816
* jesuschrist (she-christ@144.138.49.12307) has joined #tool
<@`2L> *** jesuschrist is back (has been gone for 2003 years 3
months, 28 days)
#83318 [ + | - ] 137
<Tagrineth> You shouldn't hit a girl ;P
<[justin]> i dont consider you a girl
<[justin]> i consider you one of the gays
<[justin]> er
<[justin]> i mean one of the guys
#83310 [ + | - ] 730
(dariball_) n8 all
(jason-) i think it means night.
(jason-) but i'm not leet enough like that.
(Xentac) hehehe
(Xentac) but night ends in ite... and 8 ends in ate...
(Xentac) so he's saying nate
(jason-) i can understand like "i 8 your chicken because it
looked at my prost8."
(jason-) that makes more sense
(jason-) well kinda.
#83298 [ + | - ] 211
* @Death-Blade wishes hotmail would be smart enough to block
any email addresses with painfully obviously invalid domain
names
<@Death-Blade> assadfds@ajkdjsas.ase most certainly qualifies
as such
<Sinclair-> oh shit i know that guy!
#83290 [ + | - ] 462
<kingmob> i thought i caught an obscure reference in the last
buffy
<kingmob> so i emailed one of the writers and asked him about
it
<kingmob> he just responded and told me i was right
<kingmob> i transcend mere dorkiness at this point.
#83276 [ + | - ] 169
<Slinky3> i made bricks today!
<Slinky3> with my own home-ground flour!
<Apollo> I made some too, but I flushed them when I was
finished
#83176 [ + | - ] 229
<EnoC> sex should be like a honda slow obsene and loud enough
for the neighbors to hear
#83142 [ + | - ] 36
<H|TM4N> \msg NickOP@austnet.org id rd9alpz%
<H|TM4N> lol
<zAim|trance> lemme try sumthing
* Quits: H|TM4N (Justin@vw1121.netspace.net.au) (Killed
(NickOP (Kill requested by zAim|trance)))
#83130 [ + | - ] 275
<Wraith> What IP addressing scheme should we use for the new
lab?
<Rance> 10.10.220 plus the number...
#83095 [ + | - ] 205
*** Joins: soundsold
(~heldar@host61.wentworth.w.subnet.rcn.com)
<zaps> that is wierd
<zaps> my last name is in that host.
<timmo> WOW
<timmo> WHAT A COINCIDENCE
<orion> is your last name 61.w?
#83094 [ + | - ] 416
<magpie> i bet you just hit a deer with your vehicle
<magpie> and call it "hunting"
<JustNoodle> I drive a saturn, I'd have more of a chance of my
car exploding then killing a deer when I hit one
#83045 [ + | - ] 498
<CmdrRat|Sick> http://www.sky.com/skynews/article/
0,,30100-12276106,00.html
<CmdrRat|Sick> MARINE shot in the head 4 times, helmet saves
him
<Toan> wow
<Toan> He should play CS
#82851 [ + | - ] 1111
<WHEELJACK> it's against my religion to drink
<bf> what religion is that
<WHEELJACK> poverty
#82808 [ + | - ] 789
<courtney> GOD! I hate periods!
<ken> yea ending sentences is sooooooo over rated
#82645 [ + | - ] 236
<veruca_girl> wtf?
<veruca_girl> you people make less sense than a david lynch
film
#82642 [ + | - ] 33
<Ekstelis> How long did the installation take?  1300+ Hours of
labor involved in restoration and install
<Ekstelis> How much fiberglass and resin was used? 42 gallons
of fiberglass and resin.
<TK`Devour> it takes me 42 gallons of fiberglass & resin to
put my bong back together after i use it too much
#82239 [ + | - ] 208
<TwiZTid_CoZa> i told me mum to goto goatse
<TwiZTid_CoZa> she banned me off the net for a week
#82238 [ + | - ] 204
* Robzy tries to remember wher goatse ASCII is...
* Robzy wonders why the *ENTIRE* geek community is obsessed
with goatse
<Tripwire> Robzy: it's tradition
<Robzy> Has anyone ever spared a thought for the photographer
of goatse?!
#82232 [ + | - ] 75
* FarmerJoe is the resident pro-war/anti-canada guy
<soopadeop> <--- canadian
<FarmerJoe> aww, sorry...I hate you :P
#82229 [ + | - ] 262
Sugarhigh0307: i spent 9 months of my life tryin 2 get out of
a pussy and the rest of it tryin 2 get back in
Sugarhigh0307: thats what this kid just said to me
#82227 [ + | - ] 262
<idiot> My penis is like a pringles can :D
<DrunkenMaster> the short stack ones
<Bizznatch> LMAO
<Bizznatch> 0WN3D
<xanax`> hehe
<idiot> bah
#82226 [ + | - ] 293
<a_passerby> and although she has never given me written
consent to check her legs, i most certainly have
<flatface> lol
<Saotome_Ranma> testosterone alert
<Saotome_Ranma> woo woo
<Saotome_Ranma> passerb is becoming horny :o
<a_passerby> testosterone makes the world go round
<a_passerby> estrogen makes the world mad and unfriendly
<Everdraed> Says the person who just went through twenty plus
pages of Winnie the Pooh hentai
<Saotome_Ranma> IT WASN'T ALL WINNIE I SWEAR
#82223 [ + | - ] -112
* Robzy spins round in his chair
* Robzy falls off...
* Robzy hurts his head
<Robzy> ouch.
* Robzy obviously needs sleep...
<Robzy> Neways....
#82222 [ + | - ] 428
<abcbooze> a patriot missle shot down a british aircraft
<i8> Damn British pilots flying into our missiles...
#82218 [ + | - ] 125
<astynax> i'm gonna install icq and look for some hoez
<deformated> hoez dont even know what irc is
<deformated> only in other countries do females use it
<astynax> ICQ, not IRC
<deformated> ahh it might help if i read things
<astynax> i heard it helps
#82217 [ + | - ] 541
<supervillain> i just masterbaited so hard my papercut
reopened and then I got semen in my papercut.
<[SA]thatdog> i just masturbaited so hard there is semen all
over my roommate
<[sa]hack_the> I just masturbated so hard there is semen all
over my living room
<[SA]CrazyAchmed> I just masturbated so hard there is semen
all over YOUR living room
<[sa]evensevenone> i just masterbated so hard my cock fell off
<[sa]mrpeabody0> i just masturbated so hard my guitar
exploded.
<[SA]thatdog> i just masturbaited so hard mrpeabody's cock
fell off
<[SA]StupidWhore> i just masturbated
<[sa]evensevenone> stupid: you're behind the curve there tiger
#82212 [ + | - ] 828
(while watching live firefight in port city of Umm Qasr on TV)
<eva> omg
<eva> fucking campers
#82209 [ + | - ] 54
shoeman: ohhhh Kate Hudson....
shoeman: 0hhhhhh
EvilBanana: eew, bag o' bones
shoeman: oh shush
shoeman: lol
EvilBanana: she is!
shoeman: blah blah blah
EvilBanana: I have zits bigger than her boobs
shoeman: lol
shoeman: and since when are big boobs a big deal?
shoeman: :-P
EvilBanana: neva..but she absolutely lacks in the mammary
department
EvilBanana: I'm not even sure she's a  mammal
shoeman: lol
#82205 [ + | - ] 29
* @mootlif3 * [Marilyn Manson - This Is The New Shit] [3205]
[4:18/5.91MB/192Kbit]
<khaos> hm
<khaos> new manson?
<@mootlif3> yeh
<%jdp> LOL dumbass
<%jdp> you couldnt notice that from the song title?
<@mootlif3> lol
<khaos> fu lemar
#82204 [ + | - ] 212
<-(@Bloodshed)-> God my nuts stink
<-(@Bloodshed)-> *What The Fuck*
<-(@SleazyC)-> lmao..
<-(@SleazyC)-> you smell your nuts
<-(@Bloodshed)-> Well, I don't want to walk around with
stink-nuts and not know it
#82203 [ + | - ] 80
<keisersoz> bush is a chimp who looks vaguely human
<laceyfloss> like michael jackson?
#82202 [ + | - ] 148
<Ronald_MacK> You kids are stupider than stupid.
<Ronald_MacK> You're like... the anti-smart.
<Ronald_MacK> Come to this realm to destroy all that is
intelligent and reasonable.
#82201 [ + | - ] 148
<b1u3> my sister, whos studing to be a chef, was at one of
those miracle blade conventions...she said chef tony cut like
five perefect slices off of a roast and had an orgasm
<p1rpl3> lol "oh...oh yeah...is that camera still on? ill be
right back friends...oh"
#82200 [ + | - ] 29
<goat^2> man, i just queefed
<goat^2> and htats weird, because i dont have a vagina
<paintray|PissedAtEverything> your penis farted?
<goat^2> yeah
<paintray|PissedAtEverything> thats....gross
<goat^2> stinked pretty bad
<paintray|PissedAtEverything> you sure it just isn't rancid
pus from a veneral disease you have?
<goat^2> normally the past tense of stink is stunk, but when a
male queef, grammar rules go to hell
<goat^2> no man, it wasnt anything physical, just my eurethra
made that farting motion
<goat^2> and there was a rancid smell
#82198 [ + | - ] 169
<Alvaro> I'd tap you anytime Treen
<Treen|Dead> the dead are beyond blame...
<Treen|Dead> ...
<Alvaro> ...
<Treen|Dead> *uncomfortable moment*
<Alvaro> *awkward silence*
<Treen|Dead> SOMEONE SAY SOMETHING FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS
HOLY.
<Psychorider> does that make Alvaro a necrophiliac?
<Alvaro> So ummm, how about em Knicks?
<Zippo> Something.
#82197 [ + | - ] 656
<berger> i suggested to mojo, we go on a double date with
eachothers sisters
<berger> he said no
<Zardoz> how old is his sister?
<berger> well
<berger> hmm
<berger> i suppose thats why he said no.
#82196 [ + | - ] 180
* Avie|work tabs back in *
<Avie|work> what are you _talking_ about?
<ithil> I started with 22 as the lowest possible base, got
210, added 9, noticed 219 was a factor of 3 (216 + 3), and
realized it was going to stay that way. :P
<Xrtsys> Wait.  The three rule breaks down in non-/10 bases.
<DND> virgin girls are cool
* PxM watches Avie tab back out
<Avie|work> some people are talking about virgins, some people
are talking about math, someone said something about God, and
_I_ thought you were still talking about typology.
#82195 [ + | - ] 280
<zeemu_> how's that US army members form? he fucken grenaded 3
of his own tents
<BenZor> he teamkilled. bastard.