hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21142 Approved Quotes | 1 in Moderation Queue
#82056 [ + | - ] 954
(bovril): amsterdam is officially the best place ever
(doggie^): how stoned did you get?
(bovril): as stoned as an adulterous arab woman
#82055 [ + | - ] 568
<jebus2000> do muslums say OMFA?
#82053 [ + | - ] 146
<Calaveron> time to get the hose and the bucket
<Measure> you smelled that fart too?
#82050 [ + | - ] 197
<Shaun> Dammit help me with my maths homework!  Can x²+x be
simplified any further?
<Mike> Nope
<Shaun> Yeah well your mammas fat ugly and looks like a man!
<Mike> That can be simplified however
<Mike> Just say your mamma is a double for Pavaorati
#82049 [ + | - ] 8
<[eep]matt> bearing in mind all rap songs are about sex,
drugs, and how they were fucked up the arse as a child.. there
aint much to choose from
#82024 [ + | - ] 185
<gopus> what does liking big butts and not lying have to do
with each other?
<gopus> if I like big butts
<gopus> does that mean I can't lie?
#82000 [ + | - ] 371
<cams> hey look, I'm japanese
<cams> rororro
<Ferrus> hey look
<Ferrus> i'm japanese
* Ferrus flies into the side of a us destroyer
#81979 [ + | - ] 336
* Squizzle is now known as Love
* Scourge punches Love in the face.
* Love avoids Scourge forever.
<Love> (This is called an "allegory".)
<Love> (Which derives from the Greek for "Scourge will never
have a date in his life".)
#81974 [ + | - ] 138
<cyb0rgirl> what's the command for /quit ?
#81973 [ + | - ] 493
<dsfsadfa> do you guys know what would be even cooler than the
death of bush?
<SaberRider> an iraq victory ?
<SaberRider> (which is very unlikely)
<dsfsadfa> orange flavored pepsi
<Keltosh-ill> ...
<Iraq> Whoa...
<Iraq> That'd be awesome!
<dsfsadfa> i told you
#81972 [ + | - ] 600
<Quentil> uh, is anyone a little boggled by the fact that cnn
and msnbc and foxnews seem to be better equiped with stuff
than the entire nation of iraq?
<William> not realy
<Quentil> "now we go to the carrier group and watch the planes
take off.  Okay, we're gonna cut to the guy reporting that
those planes are now over this city.  Let's watch the bombs
fall live.  Okay, now we go back to the carrier and watch the
planes land.
<William> dont forget the news's armored vehicles
<Quentil> yeah
<William> which are better than Iraqs, in some cases
<Quentil> heh
<William> at least its not like Macross II, where the News
Service had a Variable Fighter
<William> If FOX had a jet fighter, something would be wrong
<William> seriously wrong
<Quentil> that would rock
<Quentil> 'Now we go live to the FOX f-15...which has shot
down three iraq jets so far...The media and gov't are so in
bed with one another for this war it almost would make sense.
<William> dont forget the FOX news broadcasting Aircraft
Carrier station.
* Quentil laughs
<William> and their "Close to the Action" Camera Tank
<Quentil> and the FOX News special ops group.
<William> "Getting News, the SEAL way."
#81971 [ + | - ] 79
<[YG]Vagabond> shilf i want you to touch my trouser trout
<Saddles|ihid> only if you touch my ankle spanker first
#81970 [ + | - ] -164
<Spider|shower> Okay, you and Holodoc got +amogv.
<HoloDoc> can I have +aybabtu?
<|NeTTy|-> ?
<The_Morph> aybabtu == All Your Base Are Belong To Us
<y0ke> All Your Base Are Belonging To Us
<The_Morph> y0ke... you're a f*cknut. You don't even know the
most famous classic engrish quote of all times.
<y0ke> hehe what is engrish ?
<The_Morph> ROTFLMAO
* y0ke slaps The_Morph around a bit with a large trout
<The_Morph> www.engrish.com
<y0ke> i thought you typoes english :)
<The_Morph> sorry y0ke, this is going to bash.org :D
#81968 [ + | - ] -25
<Virus_the_snafu> What is it with Nazis and burning things?
<Virus_the_snafu> What do you do with Books?--Burn Them! What
do you do with Jews?--Burn Them! What do you do with Disabled
People?--Burn Them! And Now Homeless?--Hey why not Burn Them!
<Kel> I think it had to do with the German's primitive state
of mind.. "hey look! I made fire! lets put it on things and
see what happens!!"
#81967 [ + | - ] 1271
<mcgruff> ever notice, that like half the quotes on bash seem
to be plucked out of conversations specifically designed to
produce quotes to submit to bash?
<cliff> i LOVE the cock
#81966 [ + | - ] 232
<comm> what did r. kelly go to jail for again?
<mcgruff> it was for fucking a 17 year old girl
<mcgruff> which to me, is only a crime
<mcgruff> if you don't enjoy yourself
#81964 [ + | - ] 223
Quit (Connection reset by Cruise Missile)
#81961 [ + | - ] 211
<Pharsalus> It would really suck if you were a siamese twin --
your other half was gay, and you were not...and you shared the
same ass..
* Pharsalus ponders
#81959 [ + | - ] 1140
<Teratogen> The French Government announced today that it is
enforcing a ban on the use of fireworks at Disneyland Paris.
The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display
at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused
soldiers at a nearby French army garrison to surrender to a
group of Czech tourists .
#81957 [ + | - ] -10
-:- SignOff SdBlAiNe2K3: #diradio (Quit: I am in shape. Round
is a shape.)
#81956 [ + | - ] 205
<kuribo> Deathlove, awaken!
<Deathlove> shut up!
* kuribo cries
* kuribo checks for stats
<Deathlove> I can't wait until any of you ever get laid and
have something else to fixate on.
<kuribo> yeah
<kuribo> but until that day
<kuribo> when do we get stats?
#81948 [ + | - ] 64
<@een> dude
<@een> today
<@een> i got so frustrated with this old man (took 30 minutes
to create a dial up netowrking connection) that i finally told
him that he had an ID 10 T keyboard error
<@een> and that he needed to call compaq
<@een> seriously couldn't backspace to delete out "MY
CONNECTION" or even highlight to delete
<@een> fucking id10ts
#81944 [ + | - ] 30
<alex40> this one time? in readers digest? there was this
article? about some kid sticking grass seeds in his sister's
vagina? because he wanted to make a baby?
#81930 [ + | - ] 101
<n0On3> LeftTurn, what is a 'n00b'?
<NRAninja> you
#81929 [ + | - ] 451
<U-571[ChaosFilms]> i love meh gf
<U-571[ChaosFilms]> i love saying that i have a gf
<ViPeR`> i have a gf too :D
<ViPeR`> i love her too :)
<[AoS]Albatros> YEAH I HAVE A GEFORCE TOO AND I LOVE THAT
GRAPHICS CARD gawddamnit
<U-571[ChaosFilms]> my gf is a real person alba, not some
piece of hardware thats shocks the shit out of your dick when
it gives you head
<[AoS]Albatros> Nice idea
<[AoS]Albatros> brb
#81928 [ + | - ] -54
[Creeping Death] what's drum n bass? techno shit?
#81927 [ + | - ] 547
<[4]Ma909>    12R 14olling  12o 14n  12t 14he  12f 14loor  12L
14aughing  12L 14oud  12F 14alling  12D 14own  12T 14he  12S
14tairs  12I 14n  12T 14he  12K 14eller  12S 14tösst  12S
14ich  12T 14he  12S 14chädel  12O 14n  12T 14he  12F
14ußboden  12b 14richt  12s 14ich  12a 14lle  12b 14eine  12u
14nd  12d 14er  12k 14rankenwagen  12k 14ommt  12n 14et
<[4]Ma909> neeiiinnnnn!!!!!!!!
<[4]Ma909> fuck
* [4]Ma909 (_4_Ma909@p508741A9.dip0.t-ipconnect.de) Quit
<RurouniJones> What the bloody hell
#81925 [ + | - ] 95
<@neko> "what ?, no, theres no eye-rakee's here, just us
iraqi's..."
#81923 [ + | - ] 288
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< Chage> revolving door.
#81922 [ + | - ] 101
<^10acious^> u live in germany and as such have an endless
supply of porn
<bvark> I actually bought a DVD called 'Granny cunts'
yesterday
<bvark> I give the best leaving presents
<^10acious^> u have issues
#81921 [ + | - ] 1065
<Mak> Aimee, well that's your opinion, and I have my opinion
about you. I don't bring my opinion up, so I'd love it if in
return you'd do the same, if only for common courtesy :)
<Aimee> I'd love to hear your opinion about me hon.
<Aimee> Perhaps you could write a book?
<Aimee> and name it "Things Aimee doesn't care about, by
Makat"
<Mak> Chapter 1: Other people
#81920 [ + | - ] 83
<meatpuppet> is there like a special procedure for making sure
that the porno dvds come back clean?
<meatpuppet> im that much less likely to borrow dvd porn from
my local video store now
#81919 [ + | - ] 140
Celeron-Master: Is it a bad sign when you call graphiti spam?
#81918 [ + | - ] 204
(Mr_Mofo) Corn Bread is teaching me flash, and he says:
(Mr_Mofo) <cornbread> Have you got any cloves of garlic lying
around in your house? If you don't, use an onion for this next
step.
(burkey) Whats wrong with that? Garlic is an essential part of
Flash.
(burkey) Onion gives inferior results.
(cornbread) See? burkey knows =/
(burkey) If you don't know that, I'm gueesin you must be a
n00b of some sorts. Your not a n00b, are you? o_O
&#8226; Suave sighs, and curses himself after wasting money on
those 3 bags of onions.
(Burning) i use tabasco sauce instead
(bigwurm) cornbread: you also need some diced roma tomatoes
and mushrooms. you must have mushrooms
(cornbread) Nah, just using the basic method for now.
#81917 [ + | - ] 349
<Tetsuo> I've given up doubting the search phrases you say
people find your site by. You can't possibly make stuff that
stupid up.
<CommanderStab> Oh yeh?! Check this joke out for size!
<Tetsuo> Oh Lord, what have I done now? ^_-
<CommanderStab> "What's the difference between a tax cheat and
a corpse?"
<CommanderStab> "One's a Fed Ducker, and the other's a..."
<CommanderStab> ...Shit, I forgot how it ends.....
<Tetsuo> I take it all back.
#81916 [ + | - ] 605
<[FYAD]Chem-Commando> hey guys
<[FYAD]Chem-Commando> a man with dark skin just picked up my
television and went out the door
<C_Cardigan> reparations for slavery
<C_Cardigan> not a thing you can do
#81914 [ + | - ] 79
<Mr_Milkman> i just found some metal shavings and shredded rim
tape inside my wheel
<Mr_Milkman> i've no idea why i didn't get puntures
<Mr_Milkman> time to go buy some rim tape i think
<olly> heeeheeheee "rim tape" heeheehee
#81913 [ + | - ] 164
<trixie> do you want to seo ther peics?
<trixie> see**
<Allio> whose pics?
<trixie> other**
<trixie> pics**
<trixie> fuckin hell isuck
<trixie> suck******
#81911 [ + | - ] -118
<Phool312> trixie dont denie, you love the shaft in the mouth
<Phool312> trixie if i gave you 50 pence
<Phool312> would you have sex with me?
<trixie> fuck off
#81910 [ + | - ] 60
<@Campbell> do you think he/she/it understands anything we're
saying?
<@Campbell> LIke if I said...
<tiny> Hmm..
<@Campbell> small_bee: God hates you .. your mother and father
hates you... THE WORLD HATES YOU
<@Campbell> DO you think he/she/it understands?
<tiny> S/he/it just might =)
<small_bee>  yeah ,i love him forever
<tiny> It's fairly direct
<tiny> ..
<tiny> Ok.
<tiny> Maybe not
#81909 [ + | - ] 67
<Wookie> gunkaaa??
<gunkbitch> gunkaaa is teh mastah haxor
<Wookie> gunkaaa??
<gunkbitch> gunkaaa: It's not rape if they can't say no.
<Wookie> :o
<gunkaaa> wtf
<gunkaaa> where did that come from
#81908 [ + | - ] 73
<Henk> oh, what program did you use for "photoshop barnaby"?
<Henk> is it adobe photoshop?
#81907 [ + | - ] 233
<smurphant> it's really annoying when the dvd encoding guides
are like "okay, now use this guide, http://..., to create a
drv project" and then that guide is like "if the dvd has these
properties, then use this guide, if it has these properties,
then use this guide" ...it's a never ending string of guides!
<gunk> lol
<gunk> h0h0
<gunk> all I need to do is mencoder -dvd 1 -ovc lavc -lavcopts
vcodec=mpeg4:vpass=1 -vop scale:640x512:vbitrate=700 -oac copy
-dvd-device /dev/cdrom;mencoder -dvd 1 -ovc lavc -lavcopts
vcodec=mpeg4:vpass=1:vbitrate=700 -oac copy -dvd-device /dev/
cdrom -vop scale:640x512
<gunk> and that's actually all quite basic stuff if you read
the docs
#81906 [ + | - ] -104
<nylint> if charlie sheen had an illegitimate nigger son
<nylint> he should call him afro sheen
#81905 [ + | - ] 621
<Allio> lol... when i woke up my arm was completely numb, cos
i'd been sleeping on it... i tried to move it and punched
myself in the nose... it bled for almost 30 minutes
#81904 [ + | - ] 242
<h4ndb07> {MoxQuizz} The question no. 32 by PaulMcCartney is:
<h4ndb07> (Quick! Quick!) What key is to the right of T on a
keyboard?
<Allio> r
#81901 [ + | - ] 151
<Thor> ive got me a giant fat cat
<Wookie> got her pregnant again Thor?
<Thor> and two others
#81899 [ + | - ] 391
<TheMage> xfiles was good
<TheMage> best one for a while
<Pupazz> xfiles? Fuck that got gay so fast.
<TheMage> Pupazz: it's not as good as when they had mulder,
but it's still good
<Pupazz> TheMage: Actualy, I was gay BEFORE mulder left....
<D_Radio> you were gay?
<Pupazz> .....
<Pupazz> Fuck.
#81898 [ + | - ] 30
<Aku_Soku_Zan> you are hungry
<Aku_Soku_Zan> 2 large pizzas?
<mate> yeh
<Aku_Soku_Zan> hmmm you need that gym program more then i do
<Aku_Soku_Zan> :D
<mate> now u know why i want this gym program
<mate> lolll
#81897 [ + | - ] 521
<DrBukkake> You know the world is going crazy when the best
rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, France
is accusing the U.S. of arrogance and Germany doesn't want to
go to war.