hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21142 Approved Quotes | 1 in Moderation Queue
#75191 [ + | - ] 453
*** evil_ (~evil@pc1-with2-6-cust37.mant.cable.ntl.com) quit
(Ping timeout)
<@quasirob> all these centuries, we never knew - evil can be
defeated by a ping timeout
#75186 [ + | - ] 6
<Xx_No1_xX> man i never seen a pair of underwares flush so
easly .. i swear thet got T-3 lines in the toilets
#75185 [ + | - ] 227
<Gothmog> ive got this to say for that pool after about 10:30
at night
<Gothmog> its absolutely fucking freezing
<Zen> arg
<Zen> ur nuts
<Gothmog> yeah they were freezing too
#75184 [ + | - ] 138
<Andypoo> http://antarctica.starbiz.com.au/
<Andypoo> How much does it cost to go to Antarctica anyway? :)
<nukie> its all downhill, so it wouldn't cost much
<nukie> only costs lots to come back, cause thats uphill
#75173 [ + | - ] 443
*** Parts: Moses
#75154 [ + | - ] 8218
<Galactic>  you know what's ALWAYS bothered me? cold cereal
mascots
<Galactic>  I mean that is just some FUCKED UP SHIT
<Galactic>  the Trix rabbit, for example
<Galactic>  I dunno man... if I were him I'd be fucking
KILLING some kids
<Galactic>  I remember a commercial where the fuckin rabbit
WENT INTO A FUCKIN STORE AND BOUGHT A BOX OF TRIX WITH HIS OWN
FUCKIN MONEY.
<Galactic>  fuckin kids came outta NOWHERE and basically
fuckin mug the poor stupid bitch rabbit
<Galactic>  "silly rabbit Trix are for kids"
<Galactic>  Fuckin rabbit just sits there and looks depressed.
<Galactic>  FUCK NO that wouldn't fly with me
<Galactic>  I'd have pimp-slapped EVERY ONE OF those fuckin
bitches
<Galactic>  and made them go get me the REST of a "complete
breakfast" and eat Trix right in front of them bitches and
THEN beat the shit out of them some more.
<Galactic>  and wtf is with the disguises? All the dumb rabbit
does is hide his ears and all of a sudden he's a fuckin kid?
<Galactic>  I dunno about you, but if I SAW a 6 foot fuckin
RABBIT with his ears tucked under a baseball cap, I wouldn't
immediately think
<Galactic>  "Hey, there's a cool lookin human kid, let me go
over and share some of my cereal with him"
<Galactic>  NO.
<Galactic>  I'd be thinking
<Galactic>  "that's a 6 foot fuckin RABBIT with his ears
tucked under a baseball cap... what the FUCK was I just
smoking?"
<Galactic>  another thing... wtf is up with cereal being "A
part of this complete breakfast"
<Galactic>  last time -I- checked, cereal WAS breakfast
<Galactic>  they show a big ass bowl of frosted flakes next to
a waffle, a pancake, toast, a banana, a fuckin grapefruit...
who the FUCK eats a breakfast that big
<Flaming_Duck>  not me
<Flaming Duck>  I don't even EAT breakfast nomore
<Flaming_Duck>  I mean, I eat when I get up
<Flaming_Duck>  but the whole thought "BREAKFAST IS ONLY
SERVED UNTIL SUCH AND SUCH TIME"
<FLaming_Suck>  bitch, you make my fucking sausage and egg
sandwich when I pay you the fucking money
<Flaming_Duck>  don't give me that shit.
<Galactic>  Back to stupid cereal mascots...
<Galactic>  Lucky Charms.
<Galactic>  FUCKING LUCKY CHARMS
<Galactic>  Lucky can turn the fucking MOON into a
marshmallow, and he can't escape a bunch of fucking 6 year
olds?!?!?
<Galactic>  C'mon now, Lucky.
<Galactic>  I KNOW your bitch ass has got to have a "Blow the
fucking kids up" spell SOMEWHERE
<Galactic>  or make "kid marshamllows" and EAT those bitches.
<Galactic>  "They're after me Lucky Charms!"
<Galactic>  ....
<Galactic>  KILL THEM, BITCH!
<Galactic>  I dunno why I went off on this rant here
<Galactic>  it's just always bothered me."
#75153 [ + | - ] 135
<Amish_FoeTwinny> my ex gf wanted to make an amateur porn
site, and she wanted crack to do it..so thats how we really
met i guess
#75145 [ + | - ] 806
<comet_11> Dj Sexual Innuendo is 'in' the 'house'
#75137 [ + | - ] 151
<blueroo> Seattle FD has a real time 911 dispatch log online
<blueroo> that's pretty cool
<ircsloth> I bet where I live the log would be like 2
<ircsloth> ours would be like "2:12am Cow on road again"
<ircsloth> "2:30am Drunk guy passed out in middle of road"
#75110 [ + | - ] 96
<mindstorms> haha, i finally conquered my fire wall, i think
<mindstorms> take that siemens!
<Darklord-Of-MMF> lol
<mindstorms> you silly germans whose company sounds like a
delicious protein drink, atleast in certain "movies"
#75106 [ + | - ] 97
CrayonBreakyWill: A surrogate father?
sidacola: Used condom and a turkey baster...
#75093 [ + | - ] 362
<KT> a guy at work calls me "Mustang"
<KT> I'm wondering if he was peeking at me while I was taking
a leak in the Men's room
<KT> how could he know..
<Strike> KT: were you peeing on all fours?
<scanez> lol
<KT> lol
#75078 [ + | - ] 130
<Zak-> Girls are like gaming pings. Unless you're in control
of the server, expect lag and bad gameplay.
#75069 [ + | - ] 149
<K-sPecial> i'm trying to fork a server connection for every
client that connects
<K-sPecial> although i dont want to writ 200 forks down my
main perl script
<fxn> K-sPecial: you can limit your childs if you want
<rastakid> fxn: By using protection you mean?
#75061 [ + | - ] 36
<DG530>  yo santa's getting foreclosed
<AristaJace>  what?
<DG530>  http://www.aohell.com/santachap11.html
<AristaJace>  if santa was jewish then he wouldn't have these
problems
<DG530>  lolol
<AristaJace>  he'd hire cheap mexicans to do the work and then
he'd use oxy-clean to make sure it all looked nice and shiny
#75050 [ + | - ] 135
<tiocsti> ugh
<tiocsti> i twisted my ankle on my way home
<tiocsti> and i turned down a ride home from some hot girl on
like a boxster
<tiocsti> hmm maybe i shouldnt have set shredder to 10 mins
per move when it analyzed a 90 move game
<tiocsti> 15 hrs
<tiocsti> its like half done i guess
<subcube> what?????
#75016 [ + | - ] 426
<ig3l|Guel> If Osama B. isn't in Afghanistan, and if he isn't
dead, we believe he is in another country" - US army General
#75009 [ + | - ] 216
<Shinji>  I heard Great White's writing a new song after the
disaster
<Shinji>  "Once Bitten, Twice OH MY FUCKING GOD I'M ON FIRE
AHHHHH"
#75002 [ + | - ] 87
<TylerParker> As for the third LOTR
<TylerParker> I hope they don't leave out my favorite part of
the book
<TylerParker> The part with the mushroom cloud at the end that
gets frodo and jarjar binks
<Rabbitoh> dildo binks and baggar vance are the best part of
LOTR
<TylerParker> And then Willy Wonka comes out and gives them
two golden tickets
#74992 [ + | - ] 216
<Corvis> dead girls dont say no
<Pulp|^^> Dead girls don't need to be bought a drink ^^
<Corvis> dead girls dont need valentines day
<Latino|Awayzz> dead girls dont care if you're finished in 12
seconds flat
#74991 [ + | - ] 166
* deegan is gone. cupcakes and oralsex @ my mom's place
#74988 [ + | - ] 231
<Ayisha> Hm.  You know magazines are overusing the suffix
'-core', when you find an article about an 'NYC pop-core'
band...
<Hiryuu> Pop-core?? XD
<Freyer> lol..
<Hiryuu> Sounds like a new type of porn
<Hiryuu> Cereal porn
<Ayisha> lol O.o
<Freyer> smack-cackle-and-pop S&M cerials?
<Hiryuu> "Bondage babies! Small marshmallow babies with oat
chains, ropes and spikes!"
<Ayisha> O.o;;
<Hiryuu> I'd rule as an advertising exec.
#74978 [ + | - ] 180
<nuhduhnewbie> socks that don't add up are obv the work of
terrorists
<nuhduhnewbie> omg missing socks must be turned into turbans;o
<PuffinFreshWog> and bombs
<PuffinFreshWog> and the left over socks are broken down and
then sold to a sock making factory
<PuffinFreshWog> and then all the people whos socks when
missing, go and buy more
<PuffinFreshWog> and then the factory makes a lot of money
<PuffinFreshWog> and it gives a lot of it to the terrorists
for making the socks go missingin the first place
<PuffinFreshWog> and that is how they get their funding
<PuffinFreshWog> its all a delicate cycle
#74969 [ + | - ] 406
<GamInTheCity> ...why are lyrics to Komm Susser Tod in the
topic?
<skyknyt> to be as depressing as possible for when Shel comes
in, of course
<GamInTheCity> Oh, of course
<skyknyt> torturing people when they're down is a sign of
respect and friendship
<skyknyt> much like gouging expletives on the side of
another's vehicle with your key.
<GamInTheCity> You mean Friendship Marks?
#74966 [ + | - ] 650
<screamingholt> At that stage  was n6r0a33y -5ng5ng 6f 00y
d5a3 6n s60e 06f6s 'scr-[t 0eds and weed
<screamingholt> Damn...Fn key
<redcloud> ROFL.. i thought that was an attempt at 1337 speak
:P
<redcloud> i was trying to interpret it :)
#74963 [ + | - ] 306
<Merl>: So I suppose you're going to change the world, huh?
Make it a pure Utopia with no war
<Merl>: hunger or pain?
<lyndak>: I would love to change the world, but they won't
give me the source code.
#74945 [ + | - ] 428
<Nastard> hey everyone, quick poll
<Nastard> raise your hand if you ever want to have sex again
<Nastard> keep it up if you realistically expect it to happen
<ziz> move it up and down quickly if you don't
#74937 [ + | - ] 621
<Kristy> "You attempt to kick a hobgoblin, but miss."
<Kristy> :(
<Kosta> hahahaha level 1
<Kosta> You have been killed by a stick of butter
#74855 [ + | - ] 121
< kara> Take Highway 40 West to the Clayton-Skinker Exit. Turn
right and at the third stoplight turn left onto Forsyth Blvd.
The campus is on your right and Olin Library is in the center
of campus.
< kara> ack, sorry
< BB> doesnt bother me, i'm just wondering where i'm goin ;)
#74846 [ + | - ] 16
<setzer> i just did the most disgusting thing I have ever done
<setzer> i was fapping
<setzer> and I wiped it on the dish towel
<Miroku> loser
<Miroku> were u in the kitchen
<setzer> no
<setzer> i ran to the kitchen
<setzer> I didnt have my wipey sock
<setzer> i had already finished
<setzer> i just wiped the after-product on our dish towel
<Miroku> dunt tell anyone
<Miroku> and see what happens
<setzer> im not going to
#74836 [ + | - ] 339
<_L_E_S_T_A_T_> i got a question for all u horney people out
there......wuts the best thing a guy can say after sex?
<fatbastard_> be right back
* fatbastard_ has left #the=channel
#74817 [ + | - ] -12
<fuzion> omg dude
<fuzion> i had the ebst idea for a picture
<fuzion> there was like 9 asian in the spa @ the apartment
complex
<fuzion> i was gonna snap a pic and label it "steamed rice"
#74816 [ + | - ] 161
* z2so4 is just freaking out cause he has a live patient final
tommrow and hasn't really studies so is freaking out and
erattic in thoughts and such
<Kristoph> which field?
<z2so4> Cardiac and blood mechanics
<Kristoph> have you done cadavers and shit?
<z2so4> yeah... now I work with them
<Kristoph> :D
#74785 [ + | - ] 160
<ats> duncan: you brain needs a sleep.. interrupts turned off
<duncan> ats: I have three non-maskable interrupts...
<ats> duncan: wife and two kids?
<duncan> ats: my wife is maskable
<ats> three kids ??
<duncan> ats: yes.  It seemed like a good idea at the time...
* duncan reboots his brain
<-- duncan has quit (Quit: ircII/tkirc)
#74749 [ + | - ] 223
< st2> I'm sure if you're posting naked pictures of yourself,
there will be a lot of people around to help you.
* drusillia glares at st2
* st2 pulls out the anti-glare screen.
#74741 [ + | - ] 772
*** hohum (corbe@snoop.burghcom.com) has joined channel #iraq
<hohum> how are you gentlemen?
<hohum> all your base are belong to US
#74728 [ + | - ] 252
<Tranok>  SO, I SURE DO NEED TO FIND SOMETHING TO DO
<Darkard>  Kill yourself?
<Darkard>  Always a good idea.
<Tranok>  and this has to be the 3rd time I've asked this, but
who are you?
#74727 [ + | - ] 332
<Autocracy> hehe.. mod_gzip works :)
<Rick_Hunter> Autocracy: Why wouldn't mod_gzip work?
<Autocracy> because it's me...
<Autocracy> that's usually the case...
<Autocracy> I swear the whole world's against me...
* Rick_Hunter makes a note to tell people, at the next
meeting, to be less obvious.
<Autocracy> eh?
<Rick_Hunter> Nothing. ^_^
<Autocracy> heh
<Autocracy> haha
<Autocracy> lmao
* Rick_Hunter whistles and walks away.
#74719 [ + | - ] 389
<Isengard> arkenstone: if i (one day) have to get a pacemaker,
i'm gonna insist on a serial interface for it ;)
<Isengard> jack meself in at night, check the stats.
<arkenstone> Isengard: my uncle had a ps2 port looking thing
in his side
<Isengard> or usb, that way i could recharge ;)
<golgy> run snmp traps
<galahad> golgy: laugh
<golgy> "Warning: Heart not beating"
<galahad> yeah, it would be amusing
<galahad> the coroner could just grep syslog for "fuxor" to
determine time of death..
#74710 [ + | - ] 343
<novaflare> why not use windows me
<Maralia> nova
<novaflare> then you could truely have the worlds worst ms os
hehehe
<Maralia> I was about to say
<Maralia> me < all
<novaflare> windows me owns
<novaflare> till your first crash
<novaflare> then its nothing but crashes
<Phirefly> me = gay
<Maralia> ...
#74708 [ + | - ] 237
nih: I've had it with young girls.. often emotionally
underdeveloped, insecure and terrible in bed
nih: feel free to prove me wrong ;)
Ruth: lol
Ruth: nah, i agree with you
Ruth: young girls are terrible in bed
nih: they get better once they hit puberty
#74702 [ + | - ] 201
<Black_Raven[CoS]> how would blasting cookies with fudge and
marshmellows prove the xistance of elves?
#74700 [ + | - ] 756
<XorioN> o
<XorioN> o/
<XorioN> /o/
<DummeGaas> Heh
<DummeGaas> o/ ^o^ /o_ /o
<DummeGaas> It's fun to stay at the
<DummeGaas> o/ ^o^ /o_ /o
#74693 [ + | - ] 130
<POSKY|dinner> stop sucking up to him u dicks :P
<Fiery_isles> Element`: i figured out why posky always makes /
me licks comments :D
<Element`> WHY!!?!?!?!?
<Element`> its driving me insane D:!!
<Fiery_isles> cause he thinks we are dicks :D?
#74691 [ + | - ] 295
<Gartt> hows the job hunt going?
<Lubey> lol not too great
<Lubey> theres sod all
<Gartt> I hear mcdonalds are looking for hard working
enthusiastic individuals
<Lubey> id cook my own dick before working in a mcdonalds
* Kittie-Ash hands Lubey a small guillotine
<Lubey> small?!?!?!?!!??!
#74688 [ + | - ] 221
<Shadow> You know those Orbit commercials, where the blonde
gives Orbit gum to someone to clean their dirty mouth?
<Shadow> Just once, I wanna see that girl suck off someone,
then chew some Orbit gum
<Shadow> Girl: Orbit gum makes mouths clean!
#74684 [ + | - ] 219
<SlasherX> #php is all communist based
* @Didgerama drives a tank down the middle of #php
<Ballig> Didgerama: You're a commie, you can't afford a tank
<Ballig> You can ride a bicycle with a dart gun, though
#74676 [ + | - ] 273
Knoxy: Her boobs are like "RAWR!"
Knoxy: Those boobs are like "Rawr."
Foofaloo: i wish they were like "winrar"
Knoxy: Then I could be like "I'm going to WinUnZip my pants
now"
Knoxy: "And wank until I explode all over your WinfACE"
#74675 [ + | - ] 526
<kuribo> wanna CS?
<TheCat> I'm guessing that stands for cyber sex.
<TheCat> In which case, sure!
<kuribo> counter-strike, you flaming faggot
<TheCat> I knew that...........
#74674 [ + | - ] 153
DukeMalisto: huh?
DukeMalisto: i've been/am watching black hawk down.
DukeMalisto: later
Lockee: timestamps would help]
Lockee: i said that like 2 hours ago ;P
Lockee: but, hey, i assumed you were there, my bad
Lockee: damn, leaving already?  nobody to talk to here but me
and my dick
Lockee: and we aint on speakin' terms since the mason jar
incident....