hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21142 Approved Quotes | 1 in Moderation Queue
#71573 [ + | - ] 446
<saxxonpike> in the restroom in a walmart once, i shouted
really loudly "DAMN THIS WATERS COLD" and i heard a plop in
the next stall and he said "yeah, it's cold over here too"
#71561 [ + | - ] 223
[hardlined] someone give me a phone number
(timmo) 867-5309
[hardlined] area code?
(timmo) 801
[hardlined] whats the name "we" should as for
(timmo) jenny
[hardlined] ;-)
[hardlined] the subscriber u have dialed is not in service
#71486 [ + | - ] 204
<@Guyver3> im going to go chug nyquil and call it a day
<Shanks> :(
<@Guyver3> sorry
<@Guyver3> i meant
<@Guyver3> im going to go chug nyquil and methadone and
demerol and smoke pot, and call it a day since im so hardcore
#71442 [ + | - ] 2239
<ihatestan> god I hate my little brother
<ihatestan> its my mothers birthday and I got her a Amethyst
necklace
<ihatestan> than out of no where my brother goes "mom has +3
strengh"
#71441 [ + | - ] 84
<Hiroe> I want to create a new doll toy for kids
<Hiroe> called "Jersey Baby"
<Hiroe> Idea being, it screams endlessly, until you wrap it in
plastic to silence it and throw it away
#71440 [ + | - ] 172
(@CadWork) for a long time listening to snoop dogg when I was
young I was like, wtf is that
(@CadWork) now when I hear them say words I don't know the
meaning off, I just assume it's drugs
#71437 [ + | - ] 139
<jcarle> We don't have SATs in canada.
<jcarle> All our words stop at 6 letters.
#71436 [ + | - ] 216
<1stStrike> is everything in britian closed on a saturday or
something?
<Jericho24.> at 6pm, yes
<1stStrike> well it's only 1 pm
<Jericho24.> as u just said urself... B R I T A I N
<1stStrike> oh wait
#71435 [ + | - ] 245
<Slyder> I think i found what i am going to buy
<Slyder> http://www.futureshop.ca/catalog/proddetail.asp?sku_id=
0665000FS10006972&
catid=10220&logon=&langid=EN&dept=1&WLBS=fsweb6&MSCSProfile=
04F5E73718534B93F3C511
B6289DBD5550C54405B2BE30A52CB53ABFF8716E7FE52D9C5C57B21A5894C6A6E05467561C22530DBF

981DF35CB5F364A5C835B6B7135EA94E78B9705B401CC5D977D837F3C134AC33E90B98115492CDA152

3C33E076FB2030322CB217386F89CB622647687BDD9F8FE7C5E5FF
<Slyder> thoughts?
<Hadaken> Get a shorter URL
#71434 [ + | - ] 583
*** anonimis has joined #kdl
<anonimis> join #5fm
<orbit> erm...
<orbit> what?
*** anonimis was kicked by orbit (dont advertise in here)
<Quench> lol
<Quench> he missed the /
<Quench> you moron
#71433 [ + | - ] 418
<hans> Impersonating another individual on the Internet is not
only against our rules but it is also against the law. It
constitutes and falls under Identity Theft and/or Fraud.
Furthermore there are other laws specifically regarding
impersonation on the Internet that also apply to it.
<hans> 0_o
*** hans is now known as Tiger_Woods
<Tiger_Woods> someone want to play golf?
#71406 [ + | - ] 215
Dutchman: I admit ignorance, I have no idea what a Dirty
Sanchez is but thats the name of my fantasy football league
#71385 [ + | - ] 370
+|+ [PIT]Kabar has joined #linux
< [PIT]Kabar> ok i got a dumb question
< [PIT]Kabar> <-- linux newb
(+soroh6) well
(+soroh6) we don't allow dumb questions
(+soroh6) sorry.
< [PIT]Kabar> bah usless
< [PIT]Kabar> some great community
+|+ [PIT]Kabar has left #linux []
(+soroh6) HAHAHA
(+soroh6) omg
#71349 [ + | - ] 359
<@Dave> a hooker that doesn't charge upfront is known as "a
girlfriend"
#71269 [ + | - ] 287
<@red_solar> ircN[moo]/boxstats: [uptime: 2w 23h 36m 42s
record: 2w 23h 38m 43s]
<@shawn> 12:41AM  up 33 days,  5:21, 1 user, load averages:
0.01, 0.00, 0.00
<@red_solar> Uptime for redsolar-unix.mchsi.com (OpenBSD 3.2):
5:38PM up 26 days, 22:55, 0 users, load averages: 1.07, 1.09,
1.08
<@SQFreak> uptime(win2k): win(1d 22h 53m 17s) serv(21m 14s)
today(4h 45m 6s) xirc(30m 1s) best(1d 22h 53m 4s)
< m0use> i think my workstation is up 47 now
<+[nobong]> Linux nebula 2.4.18-14 #1 Wed Sep 4 13:35:50 EDT
2002 i686 i686 i386 GNU/Linux
<+[nobong]>   6:13pm  up 33 days, 20:07,  1 user,  load
average: 0.00, 0.00, 0.00
<@shawn> darn [nobong], beat me :P
<@Tecky> stupid fucks ... stop with the my dick is bigger cuz
i got a longer uptime bs
<@Tecky> =-]
< m0use> its not about size.. its about how long you keep it
up
#71254 [ + | - ] 693
<Cypher_Dyne> I feel like ipizza tonight.
<Nakoo> Ipizza?
<[Smoke]> That's the pizza for Mac users
<[Smoke]> iPizza
<[Smoke]> It's semi-transparent and comes in at least 5 colors
<[Smoke]> Also, iPizza is in no way compatible with your
current pizza cutting tools
#71241 [ + | - ] 162
*** kkkkkk was kicked by Rimbaud (Two kkk's doesn't make a
black panther)
#71216 [ + | - ] 687
<julia> my inglish is pore
<Nurgle> engrish
<julia> ja! my engrish is pore
#71204 [ + | - ] 460
<Lady> wat does your nick mean or stand for
<Gandalf> you serious?
<Lady> wat i say
<Gandalf> I just can't believe that you don't know where
Gandalf comes from
<Lady> sorry i'm way behind you lovey
<Gandalf> it's ok.. do you watch porn?
<Lady> not that much
<Gandalf> oh ok.. it's the name of a porn star
<-- Lady has quit (Quit: Leaving)
#71181 [ + | - ] 281
(@f00kaG0at) im still trying to figure out how to get to
minesweeper
(@f00kaG0at) in xp
(@Yemen) :D
(@f00kaG0at) goddamn new start menu
(@Yemen) yeh
(@Yemen) it confused me for a couple of days too
(@f00kaG0at) ive had it 5 months
(@Yemen) oh
(@Yemen) ^_^
#71176 [ + | - ] 687
<@ANARCHEY> LOL da_rut@hotmail.com intentionally sent me a few
mails with a virus in it.. luckily my Norton picked it up...
now i was gonna subscribe his e-mail address with some gay
porn sites... first site i tried he was already subscribed to
:P
#71167 [ + | - ] 757
<mattttttt> shut up
<mattttttt> all of you
<cat9> fuck off
<mattttttt> shut the fuck up and stop filling up my logs
<cat9> if you want silence, go and idle in notepad
#71162 [ + | - ] 858
<pHluid> GF the other day said something about me not washing
my hands after I take a piss
<pHluid> "First of all, I don't piss on my hands. Secondly,
you put the damn thing IN YOUR MOUTH, I think I'll be allright
to touch it every now and then."
<pHluid> That shut her up.
#71152 [ + | - ] 228
<Antimatter> for a moment I thought M$ was going into the arms
contracting business there
<Antimatter> oh, wait. they are, aren't they
<Antimatter> battleships running Windows... *shudder*
<NightmareBlade> o-O
<Antimatter> yes, they're pushing to get windows used in
control systems for ships & stuff
<Antimatter> gives a new dimension to "blue screen of death"
<Antimatter> "Uh-oh, the fire control computer got infected
with a virus"
<NightmareBlade> ***WARNING*** U.S.S New Jersey could not load
targetting codes. Please insert your Windows 98 SE cd into b:
#71139 [ + | - ] 530
<edeity> DDoS attack on a nightclub bar, get all your friends
to keep asking for water.
#71136 [ + | - ] 594
<egernness> jeg leder efter en sød pige som vil lære mig bedre
at kende... hun må godt have lidt de samme interesser som mig,
en webdesigner ville være overdrevet vildhed.... /msg me
<@bamsefar> egernness: what?
<egernness> need sex
#71125 [ + | - ] 545
<+sic6sic> HOLY FUCK!
<+sic6sic> i just found a cd full of pr0n i forgot i had
<+sic6sic> }=]
* +sic6sic is gone (reason: uhhhhh...uhm.....sleeping? )
#71108 [ + | - ] 236
<unclefu> why the hell is network browsing so slow with xp
<unclefu> ... perhaps it's cause the other computer is off...
#71091 [ + | - ] 4
<PD-FATAL> does windows update use java?
#71089 [ + | - ] 202
<Rose> can someone explain to me why are the celeron 1ghz so
much cheaper than the P42.2ghz?
<Rose> are they that much different?
<Rose> speed wise?
#71086 [ + | - ] -17
<WhatUSee> does anybody know a decent format utility other
than the windows default?
#71077 [ + | - ] 261
<Ifenna> In a CDROM drive on a PC, does the CD spin or the
laser?
#70774 [ + | - ] 77
<[MAAO]ricequeen> HEY GUYS
<[MAAO]ricequeen> A GIRL WANTS TO CYBER WITH ME
<[MAAO]ricequeen> SHOULD IS AY YES
<[SA]Portable591> do it
<[SA]diekthx> IT"S A DUDE DUDE
<[SA]rizzou> WOOT PING HER ANUS
<[sa]unsound> what sort of fuqn question is that
<[sa]-piston> SHE HAS A PENIS
<[SA]TheFlyingTortillaMan> PIX PLZ
<[sa]-piston> SHE WAS BORN AND STILL IS A MAN
<[SA]eloH> traceroute ur sperm 2 her face
<[sa]unsound> of course the answer is LOL K, U GO FIST
<[SA]rizzou> fist? or first?
<[sa]unsound> fist
<[sa]-piston> FIST
#70746 [ + | - ] 360
<timmo> i wonder if gay people are ever like
<timmo> "oh man that is so straight"
<timmo> or
<timmo> "youre so heterosexual"
<Livewire0> "Quit being such a hetero!"
<Livewireo> with the limp wrst flick, of course
#70681 [ + | - ] 36
*** Tartuf has joined channel #college
<Tartuf> hey
<xab> who in the hell is that?
<Tartuf> ...
<Tartuf> ur worse nightmare :p
<xab> mum?
#70667 [ + | - ] 443
<Zeal> Ignorance is bliss. :]
<devilsad> Ignorance is leaning out the car window at 100
miles per hour, feeling the wind in your hair... then hitting
a pole.
<Brass> Ignorance is watching the instant replay, and hoping
the guy makes the catch this time.
#70608 [ + | - ] 157
<MegamanX2K> Heh, I wonder what my mom'll think when she sees
my Dune 2000 T Shirt.
<MegamanX2K> "Long life the fighters? Arabs? WTF, my son's a
terrorist!"
#70567 [ + | - ] 174
<Arch1942> oh my god i love this WC3 mod
<dj> whats it like?
<Arch1942> 4 races that have 3 abilities each
<Arch1942> orcs, humans, night elves, and undead.
<Arch1942> Very Cool.
<dj> cool
<dj> whats the differences between the races?
<Hamster-AFK> dj - Well, white people can't jump for one thing
#70565 [ + | - ] 690
<wig> Seriously...   .45k/sec it is a joke.. I could have just
gone out and taken my own photos of children in this time
#70562 [ + | - ] 780
<CaffieneHead>  We have enough youth. What we need is a
fountain of smart.
#70559 [ + | - ] 154
<Spike> I had a cook at my job ask if I wanted to go out for a
beer and a bong hit today.
<Spike> I should have known to just say no when a 40 year old
man who was in jail for a year says to me (age 19) "Hey, what
are you doing tonight?"
#70545 [ + | - ] 128
<freek> hey man, when i go to buy condoms, i'll be standing
tall.  "TONIGHT.. I AM GETTING SOME."
#70544 [ + | - ] 362
<Z> Swear to god..
<Z> These guinea pigs are like
<Z> Not even 6 months old
<Z> AND THEY LOST THEIR VIRGINITY LIKE
10000000000000000000000000 TIMES
<Z> ><;
<Incorrect> lol
<Incorrect> hjahahahahah
<Z> Now they're pissing me off..
<Z> I can't get one simple pussy
<Z> And they're hitting them like a batting cage
#70543 [ + | - ] 151
<mspencer> but when people say it's impossible to travel
faster than light, they're probably right.  Some extremely
interesting and surprising things would have to happen before
that could be wrong.
<Wataru> mspencer: like my getting laid?
<Biggy> EXACTALY
<Biggy> IMPROBABLE, BUT NOT IMPOSSIBLE. JUST VERY CLOSE.
#70529 [ + | - ] -16
<whit> regardless that i like my womens to have badonkadonk
asses
<whit> and drink 40s before i slam my big meat pole up there
<whit> nothing like the feeling that you are fucking one of
those Big Arbys roast beef sandwiches with extra sauce.
#70505 [ + | - ] 404
<s0ul> all i know is, i know where the chloroform is in the
lab now..... i'll have a date one way or the other for
Valentine's Day
#70491 [ + | - ] 1810
<ShoveX> beerman would you have gay sex for 2 million dollars?
<@Beerman> with who
<@Beerman> and do I have to pay all at once
<@Beerman> or can I pay in instalments
#70473 [ + | - ] 318
<jay> when i get married im gonna buy my wife a BMW 318,
because they are really safe and yet sluggish enough for her
not to cause any trouble
<adam> yeah? when i get married, im gonna take out a big life
insurance policy on my wife and buy her a Hyundai Excel
#70465 [ + | - ] 166
<Pieh0> whats wrong with handcuffs and a ball gag to make
things fun
<[Clowneh]> nothing if u just got arrested....
<Pieh0> what??
#70460 [ + | - ] 282
<nolamerbro> i m god in cs
<nolamerbro> my shots are perfectly timed and geometrically
placed right into peoples skulls
<Jtal> thats a fancy way of saying "AIMBOT"...