hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21122 Approved Quotes | 11 in Moderation Queue
#60012 [ + | - ] 26
<zamros> THE GOOD THING ABOUT HAVING MY OWN COMPUTER IS THAT I
CAN JIZZ ALL OVER THE KEYBOARD AND NOT FEEL GUILTY THAT MY
FAMILY IS GOING TO TYPE ON IT
#59995 [ + | - ] 254
<comet_11> can't you just see someone using quake to learn how
to kill?
<comet_11> "...So then I ran up to him with my rocket
launcher, even though I couldn't find the quad damage
anywhere. He turned and I swear he was going to fire a slime
ball at me. I tried to strafe, but someone must have set my
mouse/keyboard combo up wrong and I turned backwards and fell
over."
#59970 [ + | - ] -5
<SithAdmin> * Now talking in #rape.support
<SithAdmin> * Retrieving #rape info...
<SithAdmin> * SithAdmin changes topic to 'You were all begging
for it!'
<SithAdmin> * You were kicked from #rape.support by RSBot
(banned!)
#59967 [ + | - ] 944
<stormo> im watching the best movie atm..
<Aurian> why is it so good??
<stormo> any film where a clown fingerfucks a nun has got to
be good
<Aurian> okay, i now consider myself lucky for not watching it
<Aurian> isn't it meant to be about ninjas???
<stormo> now they're having actual sex
<stormo> yeah
<stormo> the nun is a ninja in disguise
<Aurian> ahh
<Aurian> and who's the clown?
<stormo> another ninja
<stormo> look, i'm not watching this film for it's complex and
involved plot
#59927 [ + | - ] 20
<KeeperX> <zamros> I CAN'T BELIEVE I BID ON AN AUCTION WHERE
THE PICTURE WAS THIS http://ebay1.ipixmedia.com/abc/M28/
_EBAY_71847e281b4abd0be4c460d181152613/i-1.JPG
<KeeperX> <Project> YOU WON A FAT MAN?
<Flaming_Duck> oh god
<Flaming_Duck> look at the JPG
<Flaming_Duck> that's so gay
<KeeperX> yes, that is gay
<KeeperX> external CDROM
#59907 [ + | - ] 479
«Edgar_the_Fish» i sat and watched 3 male hamsters gang bang a
female hamster for about an hour at a pet store
#59896 [ + | - ] 23
<Nvrmr> were gonna have stalkers
<Nvrmr> gonna have turks knocking on our door asking how to
use FlashFXP
#59894 [ + | - ] 255
<tamrfc> HOW DO YOU CHANGE A .ZIP FILE TO .EXE I HAVE BEEN
TRYING FOR ABOUT 40 MINS NOW.
#59880 [ + | - ] -14
<fetman> when I read the quotes on bash.org I feel that I too
wan't to be as stupid as they are and make such stupid
comments and make everyone laugh
<fetman> How do I become as stupid as they are?
<tfg> There are two steps, as follows:
<tfg> 1) Bang your head repeatedly on the wall until you pass
out
<tfg> 2) Repeat step 1 until you get that stupid idea that you
can actually be funny out of your head
#59874 [ + | - ] 458
* dazalyn *wisks* off her bra... aaaahhhhh freedom
<nymph`grl> daz: Hehehe. This is why I love tank-tops with the
shelf bra.
<dazalyn> my boobs are too big for the shelf bra to actually
work...
<dazalyn> i wear them anyway
<dazalyn> lol
<nymph`grl> same here, lol
<Wildcard`> too much information
<nymph`grl> on a DDD it's really hard to keep them in check in
those things. :)
<shayden> too much information?
<shayden> not enough visuals
#59863 [ + | - ] 262
<phrenzy> i went to laser force yesterday all that cs made me
really good
<a3LegdCat> so you camped like a mofo?
#59847 [ + | - ] 232
<Swift> I need lemonade.
<dmc2> I hate it when my sound goes blurry.
<supakoopa> i hate when my video gets loud.
#59839 [ + | - ] 325
<Volt9000> My friend asked me to be in his movie
<Volt9000> I think Im gonna do it
<Volt9000> I must admit my acting skills aren't the greatest
<Volt9000> But I do have SOME acting experience
<tsingtao> <Volt9000> I've managed to convince my whole school
that I'm straight!
#59834 [ + | - ] 167
<@DarkHoly> you live in canadian future, that's like, wright
brothers just invented airplane
<Tdot> airplane?
<Tdot> O_o
<@DarkHoly> see?
#59830 [ + | - ] -55
<DislocatedStyle8> *God attacks True_Yoshi dealing
.0000000000000000001 damage*
#59803 [ + | - ] 246
<Hemlock> cloning one's pet doesn't seem that costly
<Hemlock> i am seriously considering doing this
<Compute> hem:  you can't clone rocks, dumbass
#59788 [ + | - ] 293
<+sysys> i could tell you if WINDOWS FUCKING ME didn't crash
<+sysys> er
<+sysys> WINDOWS ME
<+sysys> that didnt come out right
<@spacemank> LOL
#59763 [ + | - ] 37
<Nark> flash2 is the easiest shit to learn next to wanking off
to Pamela Anderson
#59757 [ + | - ] -70
<sKratch> you know what?  if we could choose our nationality
at birth, there would be no canada
<sKratch> or it would just be a country full of morons
<sKratch> oh wait...
#59749 [ + | - ] 178
<jgaddis> boolean: I just got outta prison last Monday.
<boolean> jgaddis: how many people in jail use linux?
#59744 [ + | - ] 208
<+Tincan> omega could code his way out of a straight jacket!
<@omega> out?
<+Tincan> yeah i guess
<+Tincan> i dunno i just thought of it
<@omega> dude, the rate im going, im going to be coding myself
INTO a straight jacket.
<+Tincan> lolol
#59732 [ + | - ] 165
<Runed> soft toilet paper :)
<Runed> makes you want to sit there and wipe your ass all day
:(
#59731 [ + | - ] 322
<Anatole> That bot was from Russia.
<Anatole> And there's a e-mail address, as well!
<Rev> Russian...so it begins...
<Anatole> And a name.
<Anatole> Eeeeeeenteresting.
<DeadSnake> so, it seems we are having a new cold war now
<RAPEAPE> yeah
<DeadSnake> but it will not be fought on our lands, or our
seas, or in the air, but in our homes, on IRC
<RAPEAPE> SAQ vs SOVIETS
<Rev> They struck first, with porn-bots.  But will the
americans retaliate?
<DeadSnake> WE SHALL RETALIATE
<DeadSnake> but porn-bots we won't send, but email viruses!
<Rev> Mmm macros and attachments most vile.
<DeadSnake> we will contract the best hackers that china has
to offer, then we do a preemptive strike on russia with a low
level version of klez
<DeadSnake> then, when their defenses are down, we do a full
on retaliatory strike with a modified version of the "Love
Bug" virus
<Rev> Contact CNN, they'll have to get to work on their theme
music.
#59730 [ + | - ] 185
<BX|Lyfe> im gonna be waiting with a shotgun to rob santa
<BX|Lyfe> then its off to the pawn shop, ho ho ho
#59726 [ + | - ] 237
<Oolong> you know, i read somewhere that botulism is powerful
enough, if like 10 milligrams of it got in the water supply,
to kill everyone in a town the size of new york city
<Oolong> i wonder what marketing genius thought, "hey, maybe
if women inject this into their lips, it will make them plump
and kissable"
<Oolong> it scares me to think that there might be an
underground lab somewhere discovering the cosmetic benefits of
anthrax
#59718 [ + | - ] 291
<Dead_Ice> dial up CS is good
<Dead_Ice> cos ya lag that much you can dodge the bullets
matrix style
#59703 [ + | - ] 2589
<AdmiralPJ> I can predict things before they happen
<AdmiralPJ> yes i know
<ari> That's precognition, not telepathy
<ari> Ah, damnit...
<ari> Good one
#59693 [ + | - ] 311
<Seppukoi> kthx so today in driver's ed we had a guest speaker
<Seppukoi> and he was talking about teh alcohol, and also teh
seatbelts
<Seppukoi> he was explaining this article he read
<Seppukoi> well, the article was talking about these two
idiots who crashed their car into the front doors of a school
<Seppukoi> and said they were tyring to kill themselves, but
they survived with minor injuries because they were wearing
seatbelts
<Seppukoi> so I screamed out "HAHA NOOB!!!"
<Seppukoi> and my friend screamed out "those guys SUCK at the
killing themselves"
<Seppukoi> he also said "those newbs got fux0red up!"
<Seppukoi> I said "they probably had wallhacks" and the
teacher was looking at us like "wtf"
<Seppukoi> we kept talking about it and comparing it to things
:/
#59692 [ + | - ] 320
* Mak- was kicked by Nec (buu)
<____> someone from israel kicking a dude from el salvador in
a swedish channel, critizised by a german..... talk about
globalisation
#59687 [ + | - ] 239
<+MegamanX2K> buh
<@Dragon_Ninja> HIya X
<+MegamanX2K> Diablo 2 pisses me off
<@Dragon_Ninja> what is pissing you off about it now?
<+MegamanX2K> stupid fucking Venom Lord rush
<+MegamanX2K> who do they think they are, Zerg?
<@Dragon_Ninja> LOL
<+MegamanX2K> god, I was waiting for Diablo to go
"KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE ^______________________^"
#59686 [ + | - ] 50
<unrealer> shit
<unrealer> who is good at medic here?
<unrealer> how long does it take blood which stuck in u're
vain to dissove?
<unrealer> i think i popped my vain
<unrealer> shit
<PInK-PSy> o_O
<unrealer> its at my leg
<PInK-PSy> sucks to be you
<unrealer> .... ... ...
<BluWacky> I think you'd be in a lot more pain and howling for
an ambulance if you'd really "popped a vein".
* PInK-PSy nods
<unrealer> well not really pop. more like the blood stream
stuck
<unrealer> its all hard and shit
<unrealer> compair to my other leg
<PInK-PSy> dude, get off the computer
<PInK-PSy> and do something about it =
#59685 [ + | - ] 266
<Viper550esp> heh hell, you have no idea what hell is! Try
standing inbetween two large fat women at a manson concert who
decided just to wear the bare minimum to get it in concert.
Oh thats nothing, they decided that it would be fun to start a
mash pit. I kid you not those two women took out 7 people with
one massive shove
<Jaytda4th> omg that is hell! A manson concert.. im so sorry.
#59684 [ + | - ] 183
<_audit_> you know when you've been working in the pr0n
industry too long when all you have to see is the pussy and
you know what girl is on camara
#59676 [ + | - ] 34
<Mansion_Maniac> huh, God on a slot machine
<Mansion_Maniac> a winner is Him
#59674 [ + | - ] 148
(djaby) ohh k me frm marz
(djaby) visit sum time...
(djaby) its a cooool place
(djaby) ur zip has sum ko0o0o00ol tackz...
(st0vbold) I thought so, since you can't spell shit's worth
(djaby) u there zip....
(djaby) this st0vbold iz borin2 talk wit..
(djaby) :)
(st0vbold) sure I am
(djaby) yeah but me like 2 speak eit borin ppl also...
(djaby) :)
(djaby) so u r in q plz wait...:)
(djaby) lol
(st0vbold) go back to dalnet
(djaby) cum into me chann sum time... me a op in it ... me vil
bann u in a sec ??? :)
(djaby) hey how cum u no me frm dalnet....
#59671 [ + | - ] 120
<kv9> ive just adjusted my sitting position
<kv9> to conceal any possible sudden hardons
#59666 [ + | - ] 505
<Mario> were is evesyone?
<penfold> in graamer school
<penfold> grammar*
<penfold> damnit, it backfired :\
#59663 [ + | - ] 143
<Jedi_Vader20> anyone know where I can find some goo pr0n?
<PuffinFreshWog> have you tried the internet?
<Jedi_Vader20> whoops
#59649 [ + | - ] 259
* mod7t9z730 has joined #sojaHASH
<mod7t9z730> ehe lets spam these soja lamas ;)
<mod7t9z730> oops wrong chan
<+CHiPiTA> lmao
* sH_Lime sets mode +b *!*@pD9E7C066.dip0.t-ipconnect.de
*** mod7t9z730 has been kicked by sH_Lime (wrong chan)
#59645 [ + | - ] -87
<Ang3lus> half life was lame star trek rip off
#59642 [ + | - ] 138
<LucyFerr> ok..im blind apparently..wher the hell is brittneys
nipple in that
pic
<LucyFerr> is this one of those "Pin the nipple on the whore"
games?
#59641 [ + | - ] 325
<Fat-Burrick> What i want to know is why gandalf didnt rescue
merry and pippin from the ents
<Tumbleweed> would you?
<Fat-Burrick> good point
#59633 [ + | - ] 9
barra: do u have to sign up to anythin to go to a lan?
Goliath|LoTR II = Winner: errr... yes
barra: what?
Goliath|LoTR II = Winner: you have to sign up for a lan
barra: how?
Goliath|LoTR II = Winner: sign up
#59623 [ + | - ] 1
<[SoI]{X}CloudsnBunnies{X}> is 1942 a patch of dod or a
completely sepereate mod?
<[SoI]{X}CloudsnBunnies{X}> is 1942 a patch of dod or a
completely sepereate mod?
<J-0-K-e-R`secksi> .........1942 = different game
#59612 [ + | - ] 575
<blitz> i'm allergic to alcohol
<blitz> I drink a 12 pack and I break out in hand-cuffs
#59595 [ + | - ] 319
<chris> i have one guy arguing that init.d scripts need to
support mixed-case arguments
<chris> "My first suggestion is to modify the way you match
'start' and 'stop' in
<chris> your case statement.  While technically, there is
nothing wrong with the
<chris> way you match it, I prefer [Ss][Tt][Aa][Rr][Tt] and
[Ss][Tt][Oo][Pp].  Using
<chris> this method, the matching is now case insensitive."
<reflector> I'd email him back: "[sS][hH][uU][tT] [tT][hH][eE]
[fF][uU][cC][kK] [uU][Pp]"
<reflector> match that, asshole.
#59551 [ + | - ] 1588
<Slime> I saw a headline on the newspaper today: "Horrific
Rape in Alley", or something.
<Slime> I was like "Is there any other kind of rape?"
<Slime> "HILARIOUS RAPE AS CLOWN SODOMIZED
#59517 [ + | - ] 126
DasKrav: Where do you hide something from a Mexican?
DasKrav: Put it under the soap.
sse2122: Bastard.
#59500 [ + | - ] 181
(MS^Zealot): i do not have your fetish with dead people
marmite
(bovril): its not a fetish, i just like to fuck them
#59471 [ + | - ] 1123
<r0bert> you are officially a complete and utter moron.
<Evil_Girl_55> no u are beacause moran is spelled m-o-r-a-n u
dope