hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21142 Approved Quotes | 1 in Moderation Queue
#52136 [ + | - ] 532
<LIQuid> my mom is convinced that i need milk
<LIQuid> yeah well i tell her that i dont need to be
artifically breast feed by genetically altered and enhanced
cows
<LIQuid> all she says "dont make me get your father"
<Deke> your dad is going to breastfeed you?
#52125 [ + | - ] 236
notkmad: whats the 35 for
Stemp35: how many times I give head a week
iluvduke213105: wjat?
iluvduke213105: what are u talkin about?
Stemp35: he asked me what the 35 meant on my name
notkmad: and the same goes for the 213105 ?
#52112 [ + | - ] 1277
<Billo3121> i need to douche my asscrack in the shower
<Billo3121> later dudes
* Billo3121 is now known as Billo|douching
<@trollusk> ... that's it. i'm done with irc.
#52100 [ + | - ] 250
<dredg> I drove a Lotus Esprit S2 today
<dredg> it was nice
<chevrofreak> i jerked off today
<chevrofreak> it was boring
<dredg> heh
<dredg> I'm... *yawn*... cumming...
<dredg> *looks at watch*
<chevrofreak> yeah basically
#52089 [ + | - ] 338
<@Zigatoola> man i wish my dick wasnt so big, I get sick of my
gf saying it hurts when I slam into her
<Eastsidaz> «Zigatoola» yeah.. a 12 yrs old get easily scared
of a 4 inch dick
#52087 [ + | - ] 792
<Mog> Anyone else having extreme AIM problems?
<Seifer> Nope.
<rabid_si[FFX]> Yeah. I can't seem to fuckin' pee in the bowl
today. >:
<rabid_si[FFX]> It's all up the fuckin' walls.
<rabid_si[FFX]> Er...
<rabid_si[FFX]> Oh.
<Mog> ...
<Seifer> Lol.
<rabid_si[FFX]> You mean AOL Instant Messenger.
<rabid_si[FFX]> Right...
* rabid_si[FFX] whistles.
#52083 [ + | - ] 100
*** Joins: Currawon1
(~currawong@GizNet-43538.b.006.syd.iprimus.net.au)
*** Quits: Currawong (~currawong@210.50.98.GizNet-34072)
(Client exited)
<KGL-900> Currawong, if you ever want to kill your ghost, the
command is: /msg giznick ghost KGL-900 steamshovel
#52063 [ + | - ] 169
*** VirginUmboo has joined #html
<VirginUmboo> lo
<VirginUmboo> how do i gret a shocwave file in my html?
* Anapaest googles for "gret"
*** VirginUmboo has left #html
#52056 [ + | - ] 492
<@kram> !banme wibble
* @Arrow throws a brick at wibble
<@kram> cool
<@Smidge204> !banme everyone else
* @Arrow throws a brick at everyone else
<Stryke> !banme
* Arrow sets mode: +b *!
*bopper@dialup-63.214.93.70.Dial1.Boston1.Level3.net
* Stryke was kicked by Arrow (You fell for it; hook, line, and
sinker.)
#52041 [ + | - ] 309
* KiLLerMiK has joined #tonyhawksproskater
<KiLLerMiK> are we talking about tony hawk?
<bens0nio> mmm wendy's bacon cheeseburger
<KiLLerMiK> best combo?
<bens0nio> best combo is #2
#52036 [ + | - ] 196
(@|404|Destro): you just got banned from #life, nerd.
#52034 [ + | - ] 49
<toddzilla> wtf, why does paypal take so goddamn long to clear
things now
<toddzilla> paid for on the 2nd, expected clear date on the
6th.. bullshit
<#1 Webbie> Because EBay bought them out
#52029 [ + | - ] 167
<@synec> with only 32 bits of address space, it's no wonder we
all keep bumping into each other
#52028 [ + | - ] 301
<@humble> soliciting sex with an underage minor gets +2
sentence points for using a computer
<@jsb> you've got jail
#52022 [ + | - ] 329
redpoint13: brb
MoRgAn4978: k
redpoint13: back
MoRgAn4978: that was fast
redpoint13: yea i pee in a bucket near my desk
#52021 [ + | - ] 352
<Vaun> need something good to read for like 10 min
<Vaun> anyone have an interesting thread / link / etc
<Dzza|Wants-SI> i once read a book
<Dzza|Wants-SI> it was about a giant blob eating the school
<Dzza|Wants-SI> but then a fat kid ate the blog
<Vaun> anyone else?
#52013 [ + | - ] 58
<Brainstew> Eww..
<Brainstew> If you think somethign is chocolate on your
keyboard, but your not sure...Don't stick it in your mouth.
<Citation> let alone on your penis.
#52006 [ + | - ] 90
<Thep> I want to clean up bio-waste
<Sora> Um.
<Sora> Hint: That involves other people's shit and piss.
<Sora> And amputees wiggling their stumps at you and moaning.
That always creeped me out.
<Thep> I'd like to retract my last statement during the minute
of 5:30 EST
<Sora> Ah ha ha
<Sora> Yeah.
#52004 [ + | - ] 80
twinturbo: hmm, why is my name green on the right?
Swinny0: coz it's teelin you that's YOU
barnz: to show which one is you
twinturbo: like i don't know?
barnz: indeed
Swinny0: some don't!!
#52000 [ + | - ] 233
<_pLaGueD_> do you know a cheat for invincibility?
<Dead_One> yeah
<_pLaGueD_> how?
<Dead_One> type bind "mouse1" "kill"
<Dead_One> it blows up what ever you are looking at
#51999 [ + | - ] 513
<Tak777> I have returned
* Feops disbelieves
<Feops> 1d20+1
<Ragnaar> Feops: 1d20+1 (6)
<Feops> damn
<Feops> fine, you're here.
#51996 [ + | - ] 174
Joe Fox : you know in multiplayer FPS', how in multiplayer
their names go above their heads
Nanaki_ZPilot_assassin : yeah
Joe Fox : they need that in real life
Nanaki_ZPilot_assassin : LOL
Joe Fox : and you know how you can veiw peoples pings
Joe Fox : well, life needs that too, but for IQ not ping
Darth_Bowser : shit
Darth_Bowser : most of the IQs would be very low
Joe Fox : and life needs respawning too
Darth_Bowser : =P
Joe Fox : damnit, life needs to be a FPS
Darth_Bowser : heh
Darth_Bowser : that would be amusing
Joe Fox : where i have like a "cable" brain and everyone else
has "56k" brains
Darth_Bowser : *cough* =P
Joe Fox : and you have a 128k brain
#51994 [ + | - ] 276
* animosity`snow`boardin is now known as animosity`FUCKING
`PARENTS
<tP-InfamousGadget> ewww
#51991 [ + | - ] 93
<Area-51> wanna know a good one?
<AOLuser> a good one what?
<Area-51> i mistyped the "yes | rm ..." command and deleted my
entire home directory, including the eggdrop :P
#51990 [ + | - ] 134
< gimbgoth> Fatal-Err: yeah, that's a bummer huh
< Fatal-Err> bummer? what means bummer?
<+insight> damn
<+Moak> it's fuck in the "okay-to-say-at-mom's-table" version
#51915 [ + | - ] 1107
<MerryXmouse> My mum and dad were just yelling at each other
and I walked up and said "Can you two stop being wankers?" and
my mum hit me on the head and goes "I'll wank you!...... No I
won't..."
#51904 [ + | - ] 235
<orion> i was like MAN CHECK OUT THIS HOTTIE
<orion> he's all SLOW DOWN SCROLLING MAN SHE'S FUCKING HOT
<orion> OH MAN SHE'S EXTREMELY HOT
<orion> he complimented her more than any other female i've
ever heard him talking about
<orion> even models and shit
<orion> then BAM i went to the dick shot
<orion> "WHAT TEH FUCK I HATE YOU MAN THAT'S SO PHOTOSHOPPED"
#51899 [ + | - ] 346
<Cow> the night is young! so young that If I were to have sex
with it, it wouldn't know what I was doing, would be scarred
for life and develop multiple personality disorder to evade
the shock!
<Cow> ....
<Cow> ...
<Cow> seriously.
#51890 [ + | - ] 556
<bllllll> The instructions said to install Microsoft Windows
(tm) XP or better, so I installled OpenBSD.
#51861 [ + | - ] 488
<Red_Sky> It must have been a slow newsday. The headline for
today's paper is 'Suicide Bomber Killed'.
#51830 [ + | - ] 525
<Red_Sky> We'll call it "Shut the hell up", and you'll go
first.
<Red_Sky> Now, the object of this game, Deos, is to shut the
hell up.
<Red_Sky> You're doing exceptionally well for a beginner.
#51825 [ + | - ] 650
* Nazgul thinks it's amusing when people are soooo anal
retentive that they can't even pass up a single mistyped
letter.
<Rico||Sleep>: Anal-retentive is hyphenated...
#51823 [ + | - ] 345
<Myst> It would, however, be funnier.
<Myst> Since Canadians are funnier by nature.
<WTM2K> just because we laugh at you doesn't mean you're funny
#51807 [ + | - ] 329
<Bretty> A 16yr old boy asks his dad what a pussy looks like
before sex...he says " well son it looks like a nice rose
petal" Boy replies.."well what does it lookl ike afterwards?"
<Bretty> Father says....."have you ever seen a bulldog eating
mayonaise?"
#51783 [ + | - ] 150
<@Daybreaker> bah
<@Daybreaker> i got sick oF that bin laden game the first time
i played it
<@Daybreaker> like a year ago
<@Daybreaker> fuck flash games
<@Blur> hentai?
<@Daybreaker> shush
<@Daybreaker> i caN't stand a game where the difficulty levels
are "poorly made" "badly made" and "free 15 day macromedia
preview"
<@Blur> lol
<@Daybreaker> fuck all that
#51765 [ + | - ] 179
<wanman2> c++ is so much more intuitive than any language i've
learned
<wanman2> that's my thought of the night
<wanman2> and with that, good night.
<fib> let us bathe in its profundity
<wanman2> and lather ourselves with its wisdom
<lbandit> and watch it flow down the drain
<lbandit> amidst our pubic hairs and semen
<lbandit> and urine
<wanman2> and vaginal discharge
<fib> my bishop delivers no sermons in the shower
#51758 [ + | - ] 319
<LADYCHUMY> rebooting everyone
*** LADYCHUMY has quit IRC (Quit: U asked me whom I luv d most
, i said my life, u cried n turned away, tears fell coz u left
abt 2 say ur my life...)
<Viggo> hmmm
<Viggo> that sentiment was ruined by AOL slang
#51753 [ + | - ] 548
<Kevyn> Ooh PeeTree has his webcam on, and he has GIRLS in his
room. I hope they get naked.
<Uncle_Tobias> WOW GIRLS? WHAT ARE THESE STRANGE THINGS AND DO
THEY COME WITH MAC OS 6?
<Kevyn> That'd be awesome if he left the room for a minute and
the girls started making out, unaware that the webcam was on.
<NuttO> I think it'd be funnier if they pissed in his shoes
when he left the room.
#51746 [ + | - ] 147
<Samantha> What bird was named for what was wrongly thought to
be its country of origin?
<Kevyn> Turkey
<Samantha> Kev is da man
<Kevyn> It was either that or the Mexican
#51716 [ + | - ] 225
<@pork> whats best buy
<@Al> pork: it's a store, they're kind of like the trading
posts you have in australia only with carpet and fewer cured
crocodile hides.
#51669 [ + | - ] 2026
<BlackHawk> LULU: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got
no titties
<LULU> You wear pants don't you?
#51641 [ + | - ] 243
denisbaldwin: I think I love you...
denisbaldwin: So what am I so afraid of...
denisbaldwin: I'm afraid that I'm not sure of...
denisbaldwin: A love there is no cure for.
alexusslave: like herpes?
#51637 [ + | - ] 23
<Tiberiumsun01> I am so lonely, I wish a girl would look at me
<maq> maybe you should wait around in parking lots at night
until one comes by and stuff her in a potato sack
#51627 [ + | - ] 170
<DracoDanMP> i spent all day reading on www.bash.org
<@MalHavoc> and that is why you fail.
<DracoDanMP> then i realized that only a true geek would even
get 99% of the jokes, much less think they were funny
<@MalHavoc> I bet you laughed your ass off all fucking day :P
#51623 [ + | - ] 1178
<EmpressMay> When I was 5, I was in Radio Shack's battery
club.
<RegEdit> The first rule about battery club is you do not talk
about battery club.
#51616 [ + | - ] 47
<CharCoal69> and I made 2 dollars selling cigarettes to
children in third world countries. I told them it was food.
#51615 [ + | - ] 432
<TunkeyMicket> HOLY SHIT MY COMPUTER IS BROADCASTING AN IP
ADDRESS
<TunkeyMicket> HOW DO I MAKE IT STOP
<TunkeyMicket> THIS WINDOW CAME UP
<TunkeyMicket> TOLD ME THAT IT WAS DANGEROUS
#51612 [ + | - ] 180
<DrZaius44> pc load letter? What the fuck is PC load letter??
<CharCoal69> a letter that says "I shot my load. Sorry. --
Your Computer"
#51597 [ + | - ] 168
<b1u3^t3rr0r> bash.org; yet more proof there are people more
fucked up than me.
#51590 [ + | - ] 239
<DA_BUTCHER> Annie will you marry me?
<DA_BUTCHER> I don't care what gender you are!
<|Annie|> shizz
<DA_BUTCHER> I'm Greek
<|Annie|> that's like the 6th time someone's asked me that in
here
<|Annie|> I'll get back to you k ._.
<Scotch> It's your own fault for making your gender so obvious
in your nick
<DA_BUTCHER> yes but the others would freak out if you turned
out to be a 30 year old wrestler named Bernard