hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21142 Approved Quotes | 1 in Moderation Queue
#45113 [ + | - ] 451
<phr0work> redhat really fucked you in the ass
<`KArmA> not yet it hasn't, but its definitely giving me a bit
of a rimjob and whispering it suggestively
#45112 [ + | - ] 400
<`KArmA> and now, an Ode to Redhat 8, in free verse
<`KArmA> I heard that you were cool
<`KArmA> I read the reviews which said you were
<`KArmA> I downloaded your isos and burned you to CD
<`KArmA> The install was beautiful
<`KArmA> You loaded just fine
<`KArmA> But your network configuration sucked and you lied to
me about my soundcard
<`KArmA> Then you wouldn't update your software like you said
you would
<`KArmA> you lied repeatedly to me about my kerberos 5
libraries
<`KArmA> the sound still won't work despite your assurances
<`KArmA> and I'm left rage hating you, your company, the
development community that spawned you and Linus Torvalds
himself
<`KArmA> Fuck you Red Hat 8, if you are the example of what
Linux Desktops are supposed to bbe
<`KArmA> then I will continue to use OpenBSD
<`KArmA> . . .
<`KArmA> thank you
* JaG cheers
<phr0work> hehe
<phr0work> that was pretty nice karma
<DesScorp> ha ha ha ha
<`KArmA> see? poetry does not suck r0b
<`KArmA> it just has to hit you in the right spot
<phr0work> hehe
<`KArmA> and if anyone posts that to bash.org I'm going to jam
my Redhat 8 install CDs up your ass sideways
<DesScorp> you could've just done a Haiku......"Red Hat sucks
my cock......OpenBSD rolls over the penguin......As I shave
Linus Torvald's Mother's back"
#45109 [ + | - ] 207
<_overkill> how do you eat high protein
<EnchWORK> bukkake
#45104 [ + | - ] 787
<The-Pretender> I'm passing judgement on FF8 because I dont
like the fucking eye candy. Too many damn graphics
<Golbez> too .. many .. damn .. graphics .. ?"
<Golbez> what the fuck do you want, pong?
<Golbez> "Fight! White Paddle hits Red Paddle for 4 HP!"
#45101 [ + | - ] 728
<Ethrakus> is partitioning your HD that risky?
<Ceiri> partitioning a hard drive is like cutting a pizza into
slices
<forvrin> With a baseball bat
#45097 [ + | - ] 153
<@Mi3Z> and im only on 56k
<@Mi3Z> takes about 2 hourse for win2k SP3 on this
<@Mi3Z> hours*
<@Cheez> 2 horses for a service pack?
<@Cheez> doesnt sound like a fair deal to me
<@Mi3Z> yea i know
<@Mi3Z> they rip you off like fuck, you know what MS are like
<@Cheez> still, winXP SP1 checks to see if the horses are
stolen :o
#45089 [ + | - ] 7
<Tispie> Well..Iam formatting my computer..so i want to save
my quake files..but they are way too big for a disk
<Sulyspa> Use a CD?
<Lyssa> Gahhh its Tisp
<Tispie> stfu Lyssa. Iam not in the mood
<Lyssa> haha
<Tispie> Suly, do I not need a burner? I dont know how to put
it to a cd lol
*** Quits: Pati` (nukkumahan)
<Thogart> formating always puts people in bad moods..
<Thogart> its like loosing a part of your soul..
#45079 [ + | - ] 761
<pubatch> i saw the funniest fucking thing last night
<pubatch> i was driving home and this guy walks out in the
crosswalk when im barreling towards it
<pubatch> it turns out to be a blind guy with his big gay
white stick, and a yellow jacket with SECURITY written on the
back
<pubatch> i donno what the fuck he was guarding but im pretty
sure its stolen by now
#45077 [ + | - ] 112
<pubatch> any idea how to find out a phones phone number?
<pubatch> i cant call my regular line, my parents are in bed
* verve thinks
<pubatch> its not written on the machine, or on the phone it
goes to either
<verve> i know, just call the operator and ask :P
<pubatch> hah, 'where am i!?'
#45070 [ + | - ] 437
<pubatch> my night was much less exciting, I had to explain to
my xgirlfriend why I gave her mother the finger last night. it
was a big misunderstanding, but i didnt handle it well. "Did
you give my mom the finger last night??" 'HAHAH, YES! HAHA'
#45064 [ + | - ] 159
<Sart> WASHINGTON   The Supreme Court said Tuesday it will
decide if public libraries can be forced to install software
that blocks sexually explicit Web sites, the latest in
Congress' string of attempts to shield children from Internet
pornography.
<Dark-e> ack
<Dark-e> why would anyone goto a libary
<Dark-e> if that passed
#45063 [ + | - ] 1399
<saloo> hey wanna chat;)?
<Nataliehotgurl16> yeah hot guy
<saloo> a/s/l
<saloo> u thr
<Nataliehotgurl16> 16/f/ca
<saloo> 29/m here
<saloo> wanna talk sex;)?
<Nataliehotgurl16> STATUTORY RAPE
<Nataliehotgurl16> STATUTORY RAPE
<Nataliehotgurl16> STATUTORY RAPE
<Nataliehotgurl16> STATUTORY RAPE
<Nataliehotgurl16> STATUTORY RAPE
<Nataliehotgurl16> STATUTORY RAPE
#45062 [ + | - ] 168
<beamz> do they sell penis warmers like those 9volt
handwarming gloves/
<Nik> yea, they are called "hookers"
#45059 [ + | - ] 43
<wild`> Afghanistan Quick Facts: Life Expectancy 46.62 male,
45.1 female (2000 est.) <<<soon to be revised
#45037 [ + | - ] 32
<@WSBN-MeBaD> Why doesn't Osama bin Laden have sex with his
five wives?
<@WSBN-MeBaD> Because every time he spreads their legs he sees
Bush.
#45030 [ + | - ] 374
* typobox43 looks for life
<Marie> try out of IRC :p
<typobox43> WHAT?!
<typobox43> :P
<Marie> lol
<typobox43> you mean there is such a place?
<Marie> you know, close the IRC screen and sign offline? :)
* typobox43 shudders at the though
<typobox43> *thought
<Marie> lol
<typobox43> my vocal organs are underdeveloped... i don't
think i'd get very far
<typobox43> although i think i'd win a thumb war in a
heartbeat
<Craig> join #reallife
<Craig> ?
<typobox43> --- Cannot join #reallife (Channel is invite
only).
#45029 [ + | - ] -38
<kolby> I'm up at UT and my friend fucked Chris Simms but
would never give me his number, she left her phone here...I'm
so gonna get laid
<KenKaniff> Who
<KenKaniff> Wait
<kolby> Chris Simms is the QB for U.T.   I don't know, he's
famous here
<KenKaniff> Are you a girl?
<KenKaniff> Because if you arent
<kolby> and he's also a douche bag
<KenKaniff> You're talking about getting fucked by a guy
<kolby> im a guy
<KenKaniff> And that would make you gay
<kolby> you're talking about little boys
<KenKaniff> I'm Ken Kaniff.
<KenKaniff> Thats what I do
* kolby was kicked by timmo (GAY KICK)
#45018 [ + | - ] 379
[Sober|wrk]: Christina Aguilera's Nipple Tweaker Goes on
Strike
[pHluid-]: This dude *quit* being Christina Aguilera's nipple
tweaker?
[Sober|wrk]: hehehe
: pHluid- is away: Making a resume.
#45013 [ + | - ] 182
<comet_11> efnet's just like dalnet except no services and we
have 'servers' instead of 'occasional connectivity emulators'
#45009 [ + | - ] 480
<fireslide> i turned the windows narrator on
<fireslide> it funny as hell :)
<Tolkien`> what does it do?
<fireslide> it narrates stuff man
<Tolkien`> like the text on the screen?
<fireslide> yes
<Tolkien`> is it for deaf people
<Tolkien`> or something?
#45007 [ + | - ] 390
<fats> whats a kernel?
<_astrodz_> kernel is the man who made kfc!
<fats> huh?
<_astrodz_> his chicken is built from source
#44999 [ + | - ] 349
<HSOK> my dad just came up stairs, he said i was playing my
music too loud
<HSOK> im using headphones
#44990 [ + | - ] 158
<je> my PC died completely as it booted tonight .. lights come
on but nothing happens
<je> now I'm stuck with ye olde PC that doesn't even have a
good enough vid card to show flesh tones
<reverend> stop looking at pr0n
#44985 [ + | - ] 1024
<LieparDestin> i challenged god to a duel once
<LieparDestin> the next day my rabbit died
<LieparDestin> i guess i lost :(
#44983 [ + | - ] 50
<eDRoaCH-nothere> akuma noticed me
<Nariz> "noticed" you? so you were hiding and he saw your big
ass behind the curtians?
<Nariz> you should never hide behind the curtians
<Nariz> i've tried it before, it doesn't work...
Nariz was kicked by eDRoaCH-nothere (/notice Nariz ur an
idiot)
#44977 [ + | - ] 358
<LARZ_GOD_ME> lets see back 2 gta3 or back to studing
<LARZ_GOD_ME> which one
<darque9> considering your spelling, i'd say "studing"
#44969 [ + | - ] 268
<nroklost> your life is a lie
<somery> dood i'm just talkin' about your mullet, don't get
all existential on me
#44964 [ + | - ] -21
<Musc> hm
<Musc> a dog with a fatty p00n would clearly be preferable to
assraping a male dog
#44953 [ + | - ] 112
<wolfstg> I stopped watching wrestling when i got gay.
#44940 [ + | - ] 64
surfichris: hey, do u know c++
surfichris: or c
Kasper_2010: well, i can see, i dont know about the ++ bit
#44938 [ + | - ] 14
<StoneColdSpider> YAY IM FINALY BACK ON FFS!!!!!
<k> worst 5 mins of your life eh scs
<k> you missed
<k> [16:30] *** Spazz (Spazz@210.49.208.***) has joined #NV
<k> [16:35] *** Spazz (Spazz@210.49.208.***) has left #NV
<k> ;p
#44932 [ + | - ] 274
<Ophiel> someone asked me if LOL was a different version of
AOL :O
#44931 [ + | - ] 804
<NapkinEater> I had a dream about a game show where parents
compete to see who can keep their baby in the freezer the
longest.
#44923 [ + | - ] 237
<sm4k> i wish you could record dreams
<sm4k> i'd have the best porn
#44922 [ + | - ] 396
<j4yj0hn> oh, a kid in my class got called to the office for
stalking a girl
<Threeboy> strange kids.
<j4yj0hn> she caught him in her yard with a camera
<Threeboy> just say it was a project.
<Threeboy> unless he was naked.
<Threeboy> then say it was an ART project.
#44917 [ + | - ] 146
<Kosta> I'm paying for 4 different hot chicks' EQ accounts in
the hopes that one of them will put out.
#44916 [ + | - ] 189
<Thamwlad> i'll attempt to disbelieve the floor
#44906 [ + | - ] -240
<uiop> go read a book with that guy from star trek
<pork> which one
<pork> DOUG MULRAY DOUG MULRAY
<uiop> that black one, who was always reading on PBS
<uiop> take a look, its in a book, a reading negro.
<pork> oh him
<jre-la> CONCLUSION: there's only one negro that can read
#44900 [ + | - ] 283
<Marvin> I've found one, and only one practical application
for "13375p33k"
<Marvin> secure passwords
#44892 [ + | - ] 553
<htedrom> o youz b3 1 d3d m0th4fuck4
<Cyrus> ladies and gentlemen, i point out the product of
today's society
* Cyrus points to htedrom
* nullroot slaps a "As Seen On MTV" sticker on htedrom
#44882 [ + | - ] 440
<StorDuff> meatball, we should start a channel for n00bs like
us
<Meatball> htf do u make a channel
#44868 [ + | - ] 298
<|-|LoD|-|> What website?
<danno> one of my side employments
<danno> redesigning the website for a dance studio
<danno> my girlfriend is a teacher there
<|-|LoD|-|> ooh
<|-|LoD|-|> Dancers are flexible ^_^
<danno> ya
<danno> but they can also kick hard >_<
#44867 [ + | - ] 27
<Peter> Can I help you John?
<HuH> just call me father penis
<Peter> In that case, call me Lorena Bobbit.
* Peter sets mode: +b *!*Da@*.ath.bellsouth.net
* HuH was kicked by Peter (Bye!)
#44865 [ + | - ] 513
<+Spoofthemonkey> hello?
<@[TSE]yanki> hi
<@[TSE]yanki> hi
<+Spoofthemonkey> can you guys see what i am typing?
<@[TSE]yanki> no
<@[SHQ]AgentAndy_eating> nope
<+Spoofthemonkey> ? seriously?
<@[TSE]yanki> nope
<+Spoofthemonkey> what can i do to change it so you can see
what i type?
<@[TSE]yanki> i dunno, maybe if you leave it will get fixed
Spoofthemonkey «jirc@cs24174148-203.satx.rr.com» has Quit iRC
#44862 [ + | - ] 276
<nem0> you gotta pee on jellyfish stings to make it better
<nem0> wonder if that'd work on Rey's foot?
<REY> tried it.
<boorman> i tend to just pee on people on the OFF CHANCE that
theyve got a jelyfish sting. One day, ill save a life doin
that
#44851 [ + | - ] 166
<Nope> I wonder if IRCops know what a wingate is?
*** Quits: Nope (Nope@sju-12-16-46-200.prw.net) (Killed
(OperServ))
<@^_-> APPARENTLY.
#44841 [ + | - ] 422
<Apollo-> ok, now this is messed up...I work on the 8th floor,
I got on the elevator on 1, I was the only person on.  I
farted, the elevator stops at 2 and someone gets on and rides
all the way up to 6
<TenBaseT> I hate that.
<TenBaseT> did you try to cover?
<Apollo-> No, but I thought about it
<Apollo-> he had a bag of burger king food, I almost said
"Man, your food reeks"
#44831 [ + | - ] 705
<yarokod> does alcohol remove permanent ink from a cd?
<defused> dunno...it does remove clothes on young females tho
#44830 [ + | - ] 326
<Rayne> I need to talk to you about the amount of time your
spending "IRL"
<Rayne> how do you know you can trust these "IRL" friends
<Rayne> have you /ns infoed them?
#44823 [ + | - ] 390
X3R0G33Z: wut do u mean typing like an aol dumbass