hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21142 Approved Quotes | 1 in Moderation Queue
#44820 [ + | - ] 1029
<Mime> You had sex with the little mermaid!?
<PeeTree> hahaha
<Phyresis> that's gross
<Phyresis> does she even have a... a...
<Phyresis> does it smell like people?
#44810 [ + | - ] 429
<moe_> Hello, can someone answer my question : how can I call
a bool function from another function? I am trying if (!
Class::function()) { cout << "error\n"; exit(-1);  }
<moe_> but it is not working
<moe_> it prints error
#44809 [ + | - ] 197
<blender> mmm halloween candy
<BloodNose> kid
<blender> adult
<sevr> sounds like a match made in nambla to me
* BloodNose moves closer to blender
* blender runs in horror
#44807 [ + | - ] 571
<PamelaPeaks> i love when you start at a computer screen for a
long time and words start to meld...
<PamelaPeaks> so the "Harry Potter Box Set" becomes the "Harry
Potter Sex Bot"
#44806 [ + | - ] -14
<Derian> Guys, I'll be back in a few minutes. My bedroom's on
fire.
<Bryan_Clark> I don't know what's worse... the fact that it's
on fire, or the fact that she actually took the time to *tell*
us that it's on fire.....
#44804 [ + | - ] 99
<Goten> hello i have this problem i had this floppy disc and i
had my modules on it but when i put it down and put a magnet
on it, the disc was corrupt? what could have happened
#44800 [ + | - ] 291
<az__> fuck I think I drank plaster
<mc> you drank plaster?
<az__> well theres something in my water
<mc> that could be interesting.. you might crap out a perfect
model of your intestines :P
#44799 [ + | - ] 442
<mycroft> I just got an email about getting access to 230,000
porno sites  I'll see you guys tomorrow.
#44795 [ + | - ] 68
<ibor132> on irc, if you dont have a picture you are
automaticly a 50 year old man with a bucket of KFC in one hand
and your dick in the other
<mulletman13> but in reality they are 45 year old x-con child
rapists who get off to you...
#44788 [ + | - ] 84
(RattX) my mate got slapped by a fat chick today
(RattX) she came up to us and asked him how fat people have
sex and if they have to pull the flab up
(RattX) he turned around and said :"you should know u fat
bitch"
#44775 [ + | - ] 146
<-- Samah has quit (Quit: public boolean hasALife() return
false;)
#44774 [ + | - ] 315
<NS85> back, i had this fuckin white stuff on my lip
<Red185> .. Well i COULD say something distasteful like, "is
that milk on your lip or are you back in buisness?" but i
wont.
<NS85> Gee thanks.
<Red185> Np!
#44769 [ + | - ] 190
<humble> for every job there is an appropriate tool
<anal-ease> that's what she told me
<anal-ease> as she pulled out the 12" dildo
#44760 [ + | - ] 335
<fiveiron> where is that new space software
<fiveiron> that lets you fly through the universe
<la_haine> i think that's more commonly known as 'LSD'
#44758 [ + | - ] 937
<Llarack>  You are what you eat ^_^
<Iskandor>  I AM NOT A PUSSY
<Iskandor>  >_>
<Kletian>  yeah, you're a dick.
#44755 [ + | - ] 135
<Jedateach> anyone in here got a spare xtra dialup account I
can use
<_Godless_> lol. yeah ... sure ... no realy ... have my first
born too while yer at it.
#44738 [ + | - ] 178
CodeMaster007x2: I gotta go play "drums" with my sister..brb
#44735 [ + | - ] 260
(@RattX) i almost got a mate hit by a car, he was stoned and i
told him there were these really cool stripes in the middle of
the road
#44733 [ + | - ] 157
(@Hanky) does anyone in here no if Tupac Shakur still has a
web site?
(@DCx3) yer he updates it regulary
#44732 [ + | - ] 285
(ratt) is ur sister hot ?
(obo-(a)) she's taken =p
(haze) INCEST
#44730 [ + | - ] -163
<Chris974> my logon on this computer doesnt let my use
expolorer or oh thats right ANY FUCKING THING so i have to use
my cousin's logon and he is like 6, how demeaning
<DJ_Random> you think THAT'S demeaning?? you should have seen
what i did to ya mum last night
#44726 [ + | - ] 19
-ChanServ- Welcome to #abichat, the asshole of the Internet!
#44724 [ + | - ] 140
<dr_qous> it's nice when people call me 'hon'
<kmcwork> hey 'hon', pass me the lube
#44718 [ + | - ] 330
<Gothmog> "I'm not gay but my gf is" <-- I'd pay good money
for a shirt with that on it
<Wynn> lol...
<Wynn> Hrmm... five dollah for iron transfer..
<Gothmog> haha
<Gothmog> $15 for a white shirt
<Gothmog> getting beaten up by a butch lesbian in the union
centre: priceless
#44705 [ + | - ] 54
-ChanServ- (#help) >>>READ THIS<<< AUTH INSTRUCTIONS: /msg
authserv@services.gamesnet.net auth <handle> <password>
<Hk> Plz... How do I auth with chanserv?
#44700 [ + | - ] 218
! @Snuffy wonders why jiesal doesnt take the 20mins needed to
learn irc
( jiesal ) because i'm a girl
#44695 [ + | - ] -49
<durn> are u _the_ r0b0c0d?
<r0b0c0d> yes bish
<durn> omfg everyone is talking about u, u ddos attacking
dalnet??
<r0b0c0d> is the pope fuckin old?
#44693 [ + | - ] 427
<QJ> your grandma opened the shower door
<QJ> while you were wanking?
<knox> yep
<knox> it was worse than that
<QJ> she finished you off??
#44686 [ + | - ] 171
<Abbazab> okay, next time ur with a chick and ur bumpin and
grindin, give a nice rub right where the leg meets the croch
and tell me that sweat doesnt smell like the back of ur nuts
<datagram`> why the fuck would you want to smell the back of
your nuts while you're fucking
#44685 [ + | - ] 190
*Duck has joined #linux
<Duck> does anyone know how to fix my harddisk memory when i
get the error: After you restart your system, check that you
have sufficient hard disk memory secured.
<@Cradly> Duck try not filling your hard drive 100%
<Duck> how do i not do that
#44677 [ + | - ] 227
<Killrbyte> In Oregon, they give food stamps on a debit-type
card, called the Oregen Trail card.  But they're given in two
ways: Either Cash or Food.  If its Food, then they can only
buy Food with it, if its Cash (Which is rare), then they can
anything, or even just cash out the card when it gets
recharged automatically.  I'm not sure who gets which, but I
know my tax money goes to it.
<Prozzy> The Oregeon Trail Card, do you have to shoot buffalo
also if you have the card? What about your family, if they're
starving or dying, can you just take them out back and shoot
them?
<qrg> whev youve nearly run out of credit on your oregon trail
card do you get to take a raft ride
<arse-poet> i love the really old school oregon trail game,
where you go hunting and you like shoot a pixel at a blob of
pixels representing a buffalo
<Prozzy> I know when I carry around my Orgeon Trail Card,
Indians come out of nowhere and shoot arrows at my car
#44674 [ + | - ] 463
<R0SS1> theres a new technology place in my city and i know a
couple of dudes who are gonna steal some tv's from it...some
sony 45inch flat panel hdtv plasma diplay tv's
<R0SS1> seriously
<R0SS1> i'm gonna get one for cheap ass fuck
<R0SS1> as
<R0SS1> lol
<here4ever> lol
<Bearxor> lol
#44664 [ + | - ] 193
(SaMaNtHa^) as long as you're not attracted to chipmunks
(MarK^MacLeaN) i'm not
(MarK^MacLeaN) except for that whole chipmunk raping incident
(MarK^MacLeaN) poor lil guy
(MarK^MacLeaN) girl girl.. i mean girl lol
(SaMaNtHa^) homosexuality and beastiality all rolled into one
(MarK^MacLeaN) yeah it was a tough year
#44657 [ + | - ] 530
<+Spazz> Oh, man.  I feel bad now.
<+Spazz> I thought my cat had a scab on its belly.
<+Spazz> So I've been picking at it.
<+Spazz> Turns out, it's his nipple.  X.x
#44654 [ + | - ] 165
<Xalot> Can Anyone here Help me, I put a CD into my Player and
It makes a Weird Noice. but no Sound..?..Anyone?..
<Notice> Is there a Sound Card in there?..As in the
Computer?..
<Xalot> ..No...
<Notice> well..think about it
* Xalot (Xalot@h24-71-124-70.ss.shawcable.net) Quit (Read
error: 54 (Connection reset by peer))
#44642 [ + | - ] 192
<chronic1> damn, that chatroom is about as active as my
grandma
<Teakk> chronic1: must be pretty active then
<Teakk> cause i KNOW your grandma...and DAMN
#44641 [ + | - ] 62
<Saralou023> its a veteran computer......i think mines got a
virus
<CamboniMachine> dont u have norton or something like that?
<Saralou023> a norton? ......is that a type of computer?
#44640 [ + | - ] -45
<cappicard> whew... got that splinter out.
<VicViper> cappicard: wooden keyboard?
<Apollo-> VicViper: No, I think he was playing with his wooden
dildo
<VicViper> hehe
<Apollo-> good thing he was stroking it with his hand and not
ramming it in his ass
<Apollo-> it'd been a little tougher getting a splinter out of
his ass
#44638 [ + | - ] 298
cranky> I upgraded to the internet 8.0 as soon as AOL released
it
#44636 [ + | - ] 84
<aum> real hackers don't use Mozilla, they don't even use
links or lynx
<aum> *real* hackers surf the web with 'telnet somehost.com
80'
#44635 [ + | - ] 239
<TFA|MikeRotch> it's that Yamaha CRW-D1
<TFA|MikeRotch> F1 I ean
<TFA|MikeRotch> mwena
<TFA|MikeRotch> god damn
<TFA|MikeRotch> my fingers are getting to dat
<TFA|MikeRotch> fat
<TFA|MikeRotch> I need to go on a diet just so I can type
properly on IRC
<TFA|FulDog> haha
<v3ktor> rofl
#44624 [ + | - ] 147
<|sM|Giga-Dogbert> it doesnt work
<+Yeti> .. What doesnt work
<GBL|InfamousGadget> <img src="http://site">  or [img]http://
site[/img]
<GBL|InfamousGadget> did you post it somewhere?
<|sM|Giga-Dogbert> C:\My Documents\My Received Files\
dogbert1.jpg
#44620 [ + | - ] 222
--> heha (cyber@????????.ipt.aol.com) has joined #linux
--- YeahBabY sets ban on *!*@*.aol.???
<-- Crikey has kicked heha from #linux (banned: Too many
problems with AOL.  Use another ISP.  Permban)
<thinko> nice ban, covers those pesky aol.mil ppl too
#44612 [ + | - ] 874
One fine day in #support on GamesNET...
<@Phobius> [d20]Gau: Name of channel please.
<+[d20]Gau> Clan:  Covert Underground Neutralization Team  #
CUNT
<@Phobius> [d20]Gau: Sorry but thats an unacceptable channel
name.
<+[d20]Gau> ?  Is it too short?
<@Phobius> [d20]Gau: No its the word "cunt"
<+[d20]Gau> "cunt"? Ohhhh goodness That's another word for a
woman's vagina, isn't it
<+[d20]Gau> How about The War Against Terrorism? #twat
<@Phobius> !#twat reg [d20]Gau
#44606 [ + | - ] 329
<ryche> my sister hangs around with these slut friends who
blow guys at school and they won't even give me a minute of
their day :
<ryche> maybe i'm not offering enough....doesn't $0.05 sound
fair or not for a bj?
<FunG> yep
<FunG> a nickel per inch sounds reasonable
#44594 [ + | - ] 374
dragon9995: oh man
dragon9995: you know last night when I told you that I was
going to rape your mom or something like that?  apparently I
left it on the screen and my mom saw it and didn't think it
was a joke
dragon9995: she just came in here and freaked out out at me
dragon9995: holy shit
dragon9995: she like started crying and she thinks I'm a
rapist
#44588 [ + | - ] 133
<jonathans> the national anthem of retardia
<physikal> yeah... oh say can you learn how to read...
<issuez> retardia
<jonathans> sorry
<jonathans> mentally-challengiaria
<issuez> thank you.
#44587 [ + | - ] 526
<wildkarrdex> I ALWAYS THOUGHT A GREAT WAY TO KILL YOURSELF
<wildkarrdex> WOULD BE TO RUN INTO A CROWDED ROOM
<wildkarrdex> SCREAM "I'M HIV POSITIVE"
<wildkarrdex> THEN SHOOT YOURSELF IN THE HEAD WITH A SHOTGUN
#44584 [ + | - ] 881
<+Fastolfe> or do a googel[1] search for "perl windows"
<+Fastolfe> [1] oops, typo, meant google
<+wog> Ooo. I should get in the habit of footnoting my typos
like that.
<+Azhrarn> hah
#44574 [ + | - ] 282
Kitsa> we had a kid bake ex-lax pot brownies and give them to
a teacher
<Kitsa> he had the shits but he was pretty happy about it