hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21142 Approved Quotes | 1 in Moderation Queue
#42948 [ + | - ] 71
<Gnetic> I searched for need for speed and I got this ===JJJJ=
=D~~~....what do i do with that???
<Gnetic> is that like a binary code or something ??
<Resi0> its a cock
<Resi0> jesus man, i wouldnt wanna be you when ure in the bath
if you cant see that...
#42923 [ + | - ] 119
<cinnabar> i wonder how much heat 8 hard drives in there would
generate.
<loophole> I don't know
<loophole> but
<loophole> it doens't matter when you've ejaculated
<loophole> all over the inside of it
<cinnabar> uh...
#42919 [ + | - ] 165
<Catman102> I'm a dumbass and put the drivers on my firewire
harddrive but I can't get them off the harddrive till I have
the drivers to activate the firewire
#42913 [ + | - ] 467
<fo0bar> it's 5PM and I haven't put pants on yet.  I consider
this a good day
#42899 [ + | - ] 328
<@Dza> i got real drunk last night, and when i woke up, there
were 2 pizzas in my fridge
<@Dza> so i didnt ask questions and i been enjoying all day
#42891 [ + | - ] 224
<PigsCantFly> which is bigger. evilpie's [ ] nose [ ] love
<evilpie> my love
<cardcheat> if by love, you mean his cock, then his nose
#42888 [ + | - ] 1181
<`DE-Throwdown-e-> if anyone knows how to unclog a toilet when
there is no plunger available pm me please...hurry their is
shit on the floor already
* `DE-Throwdown-e- has quit IRC (Excess Flood)
#42882 [ + | - ] 741
<Yhwh> I want my mp3s back :(
<Chris_A> Why don't you recreate them as MIDI in Mario Paint
and then emulate the Mario Paint ROM and recreate said MIDI on
your new PC!??!?!
<Yhwh> Didn't Mario Paint not have sharps and flats?
<Chris_A> That's your biggest concern about my plan?
<Yhwh> It is a pretty big concern!
#42874 [ + | - ] 226
<alakahil> hmm: FBI AND CIA ARE LOOKING AT YOU
<Mother> so what's new?
<alakahil> some new type of spam
<rambopfc> lol
<alakahil> next i will havespam from fbi
<alakahil> "we are looking for you"
<alakahil> "how big your salary should be?"
<Mother> hehehehe
<alakahil> where have all those "enlarge your penis" and
"look, i'm naked" have gone?
<Mother> oh they still come in every now and then
<Mother> had I answered all of them Neil Armstrong could walk
to the moon on my penis
#42868 [ + | - ] 677
<Lyricwriter> Don't ask the guy with the bad memory
<Daniac> Who's that?
<Lyricwriter> You
<Daniac> Oh yeah
#42859 [ + | - ] -3
<CowInParachute> Hasta La Vista Baby Jesus.
#42856 [ + | - ] 134
<Dan``> Frying Blintzes...
<Saint_Proverbius> What's a blintzes?
<Dan``> It's a kind of hmm well
<Lasse> oh, one of those
#42854 [ + | - ] 197
<Jim> hello good sir
<Jim> may i present to you a work of art involving wang
#42848 [ + | - ] 112
<Vaelin> ah, see, now i'd like to be the kind of person who
writes their own scripts.. i'm practically that sort of guy
<Vaelin> only i've got a lot less initiative, so i just sit
there and say "i'd like to write my own scripts."
<Vaelin> and that is all i do towards learning to write my own
scripts
#42835 [ + | - ] 155
*** Joins: KillerClo (forder@wlc141.cablelan.net) has joined #
EFnet
<KillerClo> oh my god I'm on Efnet
<KillerClo> thank you god
<KillerClo> finally
<KillerClo> I thought they banned me from the network
<KillerClo> but I just had a problem with my ISP's dealing
with the reverse DNS
<KillerClo> holey crap
<KillerClo> I haven't been on Efnet in a year
<KillerClo> this is a big night
<KillerClo> THANK YOU GOD
<KillerClo> YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<KillerClo> WOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO
*** Parts: KillerClo (forder@wlc141.cablelan.net) has left #
EFnet
#42834 [ + | - ] 74
<NokiaFace> how would YOU like it if you got a nokia stuck on
your face from a freak factory accident ?
<NokiaFace> Everytime i get a phone call, my face vibrates do
you know how painful that is ?
#42831 [ + | - ] 532
<gloom^exs> finnish sounds like two alphabets went to nuclear
war and the fallout mutated it into something seriously fucked
up with lots of i's and e's.
#42830 [ + | - ] 217
<K`> mithrandi: where's this bash.org ?
#42824 [ + | - ] 50
<stillblue> i was gonna be all "what final fantasy character
would you like to have sex with?"
<Blastrax> yes
#42821 [ + | - ] 38
<Denkan> ASP is like a chat-dialog with the server... in PHP
you type codes
#42820 [ + | - ] 109
<Sca_li> I wouldn't really know what to do with a lot of money
either...
<Sca_li> I don't need much... a house, a car, a maid, a pool,
a golf course, a tennis court, soccer stadium (indoor)...
#42817 [ + | - ] 112
[@Preacher|UITY] anyone here familiar with disc juggler?
[@ZedR] my uncle works at the circus yes
#42816 [ + | - ] 132
<Genasirus> woke up this morning, reached out, put my arm over
this huge fold of doona and went 'morning honey' then woke up
and realised i was sleeping alone
<Genasirus> i felt idiotic and slightly perverted all at the
same time
#42806 [ + | - ] 170
<Cav> just typical geek/male "my dick is bigger than yours"
<milenko> Cav: typical geek male is actually  the
exponentiallly lotharigmic value of the circumnavergerance of
my phallus is of a far greater appearance then urs.
<Cav> milenko: thanks for sharing
#42805 [ + | - ] -86
<Low> wassup
* sean estimates the age of Low as 11.
<Low> uhhh higher
<sean> liar.
* Low estimates the iq of sean as 3 maybe 4
<Low> im amazed u can type
<Low> let alone breathe
#42801 [ + | - ] -20
<@mcgyver> i went for a piss out in the bush once
<@mcgyver> there i was
<@mcgyver> wang in hand
<@mcgyver> (shut up you lot)
<@mcgyver> i looked up and there was one of those fucking
birdf eating cunts about 1 metre from me
<@mcgyver> i put my wang away quickly
<@mcgyver> :$
#42797 [ + | - ] 206
<conZ> how do i connect LED's to the pc ?
<phaxx> stick it in your floppy drive. make sure you insert
the cathode pin first or you'll melt the led
<conZ> will make sure of that
<phaxx> good
<conZ> fuck
<conZ> it doesnt work
#42783 [ + | - ] 278
<Dead_One> and when i restarted it it goes *there wasa problem
with the registry*
<Dead_One> *would you like us to slam it in all at once, or
inch by inch like a gentleman* ?
<Dead_One> and the *nicer* option was gr3yed out.
#42773 [ + | - ] 174
<hiaku> our souls are like dead animals, everyone wants a poke
at it
<nerved> is that legal to have sex with dead animals?
<hiaku> ...
<hiaku> you're impossible
<nerved> no i'm serious
<nerved> don't want to get in trouble or anything...
* nerved glances around innocently
#42758 [ + | - ] 195
<Gryvix[FoN]> any computerexperts around  ?
<Gryvix[FoN]> I have a  little problem
<Gryvix[FoN]> my mouse won't work
<Caedar[SOT]> And I assume you unplugged it and plugged it
back in. :)
<Gryvix[FoN]> then I have to shut off the comp right
<Gryvix[FoN]> I can do it without shutting it
<Gryvix[FoN]> ???
<Caedar[SOT]> If it's USB.
<Caedar[SOT]> Is the port rectangleish?
<Caedar[SOT]> Or is it a circle?
<Gryvix[FoN]> Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh.
<Gryvix[FoN]> Someone unplugged it.
<Caedar[SOT]> Oh. My. God.
#42743 [ + | - ] 67
<easytease> i got the winamp setup file i think
<Soimafrea> kool whats that do?
#42741 [ + | - ] 876
<AnimeFreak> ginger tastes like processed ejaculate
<chendo> AF: You KNOW what processed ejaculate TASTES LIKE?
<AnimeFreak> THIS CONVERSATION IS OVER
#42737 [ + | - ] 521
<rageatm0> I'm in trouble. I'm losing my taste for ramen and
it's 4 years before college
#42728 [ + | - ] 132
<datacide> 26 uear old author looking for sleek bitch to spend
my money on and give sexual pleasure
<D3KK0N> hi...im....tina
<pont`> I be sleek .. but not bitch
<datacide> haha
<datacide> hmm....who to choose?
<datacide> tina or the sleek not bitch
<D3KK0N> im poor ;[
<datacide> pros and cons
<temple-> ima bitch! spend on me
<datacide> wow
<datacide> anyone else? like a real female? please.........
<McMoo> i'll suck your cock for a thousand dollars
<temple-> oh real
* datacide looks desperate
<temple-> now you want to get technical
<datacide> anyone?
<pont`> datacide: I can get you a doll
<datacide> hmmmm
<miteymous> i can get you a hooker
<datacide> is it life like?
<D3KK0N> i i can hook you up with ladies who do stuff they
dont even have names for
<datacide> haha
<datacide> dekkon wins
#42721 [ + | - ] 839
<Sprint_DSL> Are you still living in the wang of the US?
<POPOON> Your mother is.
<Sprint_DSL> Oh.
<Sprint_DSL> That would have been good like, 10 years ago.
<POPOON> Your mother was.
#42716 [ + | - ] 151
<@rsg_6100> i likew the fact that my monitors and my computer
keep my room nice and toasty with out me having to use the
heater
<@Hardedge> i think that has more to do with convection then
radiation
<@rsg_6100> i can make popcorn from the radiation
<@Hardedge> yummy
<@Hardedge> well at least you can't have offspring
<@rsg_6100> naw i got some of the "boys" frozen in the freezer
#42714 [ + | - ] 402
<conform> i'll quit masturbating when you pry my cold dead
hands from my cold dead cock.
#42711 [ + | - ] 234
<Lynyc> that's so last month
<Nine> last month? they made it on the 23rd
<Measure> OF LAST MONTH
#42691 [ + | - ] 1172
< 12@Great_Teacher_Musashi > damn
<@Great_Teacher_Musashi > myspacebardoesn'twork
<13@Nemian|Stuff > haha
<@Great_Teacher_Musashi > crap
<@Great_Teacher_Musashi > Ican'tentercommands
<@Nemian|Stuff > wth happened to your kb?
<@CrimsonAngel|AtLibrary > heh
<@Great_Teacher_Musashi > spilledsodaonit
<@CrimsonAngel|AtLibrary > l o o k i c a n u s e s p a c e s w
e e e e e e = )
*** CrimsonAngel|AtLibrary was kicked by Great_Teacher_Musashi
( don'ttauntmeIstillhaveright-click )(  I-n-v-i-s-i-o-n  )
#42687 [ + | - ] 231
(Tome): GRRRGH MAKE ME A MOD SO I CAN KICKBAN YOU
(griph): you mean an OP?
(Tome): thatssaone
(Tome): I WANT AN AMPERSAND
(griph): you mean an AT
#42684 [ + | - ] 169
<cstine> my libido pretty much vanished after i gave up porn.
<cstine> not that it's a bad thing.
<cstine> i don't have to do as many sheets in the laundry now.
<cstine> or towels.
#42678 [ + | - ] 355
<danhon> overheard in the lab:
<danhon> "try doing javac first before you do java"
<Cringer> hahaha
<danhon> "what does that do?"
<danhon> "dunno, but it works"
#42666 [ + | - ] 61
<MrSaturn> AHHHHHHHHHh
<MrSaturn> it blew up in a freak accident
<MrSaturn> i must restard my computer is on fire
<MrSaturn> AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
* MrSaturn has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer)
<poik007> seems funny
#42663 [ + | - ] 92
<@JE> Hosting: $5 per month. Domain name: $15, your site being
down twice a week: Priceless.
#42662 [ + | - ] 184
<ian> I have done it. Zidane you are stupid. End
<Zidane> dude im a 13 year old with the iq of a adult
<Zidane> it is you who is the dumb
<ian> it's "an adult"
<ian> and IQs for adults vary widely
<Zidane> no a
<ian> what you say means absolutely nothing.
<ian> NO, it's AN
<Zidane> i mean all!!
<Stuntman21> What a fucking retard
<xXkenXx> its AN
<Zidane> an....then
<Stuntman21> AN is proper grammer you dumb motherfucker
<xXkenXx> d00d,
<xXkenXx> theres a vowel
<Zidane> ....yep
<ian> " i r 13 and supar smar!"
#42660 [ + | - ] 120
* TRIPtych2 realizes that danno must be drunk
<danno> I don't drink thank you very much.
<danno> :/
<TRIPtych2> shit, i was hoping it was just the alcohol talking
and not you
<TRIPtych2> :/
<danno> I'll take that as an insult, kthx
#42657 [ + | - ] 561
<Kosh> Wait for the LotR cereal to come out... Frod-O's, with
a free prize ring inside
#42656 [ + | - ] 165
<Anarchos> my mom went to old navy and bought me all these
clothes
<Rance> and now you have to dress like a dork?
<Anarchos> yeah :(
#42653 [ + | - ] 391
<aq> dont ever tryu to beets a yiugolsavian at tequikla
#42648 [ + | - ] 150
<SeXaH> damn i broke my g-string
<SeXaH> oh hrmz
<SeXaH> that looks bad
<SeXaH> i ment the g-string from my guitar