hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21142 Approved Quotes | 1 in Moderation Queue
#41922 [ + | - ] 201
<TNK> sweden is the most wasted land in the world- so many
beautiful girls, and because it's cold there they wear too
many clothes =]
#41903 [ + | - ] 551
<Denium> cassy do you mind if i delegate something to ya?
<Cassy> as long as i can do it in the morning ....i'm totally
dead .....had a gig earlier tonight and i'm like a zombie lol
<Denium> wow
<Denium> i only do like 500mb/day
<Denium> at most
<Cassy> a SHOW
<Denium> ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
<Cassy> you know ....play music!?
#41896 [ + | - ] 196
(Sober|smk) 905-847-6000fuck
(Sober|smk) er
(Sober|smk) mental note
(Sober|smk) never use irc as notepad
(Sober|smk) u will forget and hit enter :)
#41895 [ + | - ] 404
<0oyeaho0> Hey, i have a new boyfriend.  hes so dreamy, and
i'm so in love with him.  Hes so nice and sweet.  I just adore
him.  I feel like ive known him forever.
<oaklandfoo1> where's he from?
<0oyeaho0> uh, im not sure.
#41890 [ + | - ] 700
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*** Assassin was kicked by Drive_by_Banning (out!)
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#41884 [ + | - ] 252
<Wayne-aw> 99.9% of the time, the problem lies between the
keyboard and the chair.
#41882 [ + | - ] 344
<@Dza> you g/f's so fat her pic is ~3 megs?
#41863 [ + | - ] 192
« caffeine-killer » can someone help me with how to protect
your computer from mirc
#41858 [ + | - ] 832
<Sober|wrk> heh
<Sober|wrk> lol
<Sober|wrk> my co-worker is throwing a ball
<Sober|wrk> up in the air to relieve some stress
<Sober|wrk> she just smashed it into a ceiling panel and
knocked it down on her head
#41855 [ + | - ] 333
* +abinnie has an english essay to do before his teacher
realises the floppy disc he gave her has holes punched in the
media
<@quip> :D
<+abinnie> and is actually a dos boot disc
<@FrozenFood> lol
#41851 [ + | - ] 707
*** joet (~joet@ilm25-44-179.ec.rr.com) has joined #javascript
<joet> hey
<Object> hey joe
<yossarian> where you going with that gun of yours?
<yossarian> hey joe, i heard you shot your woman down
<[Roosta]> shot her down to the ground?
<joet> umm huh?
<impatient> hey joe, where you gonna run to now?
<joet> I think you have me mistakened with somone else
#41845 [ + | - ] 262
<dyno> Anyone ever gotten the error "Network Cable Unplugged"
?
<kash[]> yea it means your network cable is unpluged
<dyno> at first I thought it was because of an IRQ setting,
but we fixed that.. and I am still getting that error.
#41825 [ + | - ] 1899
<mh_> str8 up mf i was afkin 4 a sec & that mutha goes all
stfu on me
<mh_> wtf? 4 nothin at all
* harm consults Oxford's Non-Abridged Gangsta Abbreviations
Explicator
<mh_> gtof
* harm consults harder
#41824 [ + | - ] 354
<tigga> (_|_) (|_) (_|_) (_|) (_|_)
<tigga> thats u shakin ur (_|_)
<S4L3M> and this is you when i do it: 8=M==D 8===MD 8=M==D 8==
=MD
#41823 [ + | - ] -100
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#41822 [ + | - ] 168
<gate> you're working on a degree in politics, dont call other
people retarded =P
#41821 [ + | - ] 286
<spritegoddess> I had some kid call me up at work today
<spritegoddess> (I work at TRU)
<spritegoddess> asking me for help in Vice City
<spritegoddess> and he sounded like he was maybe...10
<spritegoddess> I don't know why he was calling the place
where he bought the game for in-game help
<Mank> Probably because his mom told him to, sprite.
<spritegoddess> "It's ok sweetie, ask the nice toys 'r us lady
about the prostitutes"
#41820 [ + | - ] 15
<jonathans> i want to raise goats.
<@Neutral-> <3 goats and their tendency to push backwards when
on the edge of a cliff
<synth3tic> So I guess you know why you put a goat on the
endge of a cliff when you fuck it
<synth3tic> ....so he pushes back
<jonathans> 'he'
<synth3tic> yes.. 'he'
<@Neutral-> Position cock strategically
<@Neutral-> And wait for the push.
#41814 [ + | - ] -25
<WillaCuz> i dont wanna ride solo though
<pagan> ya batman aint shit w/o robin :(
<pagan> just another nigga in an expensive car
<WillaCuz> yup
#41803 [ + | - ] 312
<Fozie> XIRWW.
<Fozie> XJEE.
* harm reports foz to dept of anti american activities
* Fozie reports harm to the zoo, ourangutang enclosure
<harm> i got owned yet again :(
<harm> ok this is it its razorblade time for me
* harm has quit IRC
* harm has joined #Proghouse
<harm> wtf goddamn mach3 protective bars
<Fozie> haha you suck at the suicide
#41801 [ + | - ] 284
<zerg> if you ever got pregnant would you get an abortion?
<S4L3M> no
<zerg> adoption?
<S4L3M> no
<zerg> keep it?
<S4L3M> of course!! i prefer to know my spawns so i can bestow
upon them all my evilness and evil ways and evil knowledge...
<S4L3M> how else will i ever rule the world? fool.
#41797 [ + | - ] 172
<danicgross> hacking is very complex
<@Frakes> really?
<danicgross> do u hack
<@Frakes> goodness me no .....what tools would one need?
<danicgross> well
<danicgross> a computer
<danicgross> internet
<@Frakes> ah yes ......got both of those
<danicgross> and skill
<@Frakes> hmmm sadly lacking in the latter
<TheLurker> danicgross: you didn't haxor me did you
<danicgross> are u tempting me
<TheLurker> no
<danicgross> you tempting me arrentyou
<TheLurker> ok, tell you what, tell you what
<TheLurker> i have 2 hard drives, c and d
<TheLurker> on drive d tell me how many folders there are in
the root
<danicgross> just a sec
* TheLurker drums his fingers
* @Frakes accompanies with the triangle
<TheLurker> look, just give up
<TheLurker> you obviously suck at this
<TheLurker> have you, in fact, ever hacked anything apart from
your own penis?
#41789 [ + | - ] 335
* Fireball kicks his computer.. why won't you mount the ipod?
<nica> maybe it's not interested?
<William> :^D
<nica> maybe a bit of wine and some candle light? ;)
<Puppeteer> Fire- Uhm... it's not a Mac?
<nica> KillJoy says, "maybe it's having troubles... viagra?"
<William> Show it porn of Yum, the iMac girl?
<nica> =D
* Fireball grumbles... perverts
#41787 [ + | - ] 344
*** Joins: Pan`Da` (~WIN@p58-max1.wlg.ihug.co.nz)
<Pan`Da`> clamp the area between my asshole and testicles with
my fingers, the 'taint' as its often called, then i jerk off..
when im about to ejaculate, i can delay it for like 10 secs,
then it flies across the room.
<JoanDeArc> Pan`Da`: was that a wrong window?
<Pan`Da`> WTF??
#41784 [ + | - ] 1
<Y2Jesus> [Clone Scanning: #pokebattle]
<Y2Jesus> 6 Match(es) Found
<Y2Jesus> LavosPhoenix: *!*@*.ipt.aol.com
<Y2Jesus> red13n: *!*@*.ipt.aol.com
<Y2Jesus> MrTest: *!*@*.ipt.aol.com
<Y2Jesus> Platinum: *!*@*.ipt.aol.com
<Y2Jesus> SirChris: *!*@*.ipt.aol.com
<Y2Jesus> Xantrix: *!*@*.ipt.aol.com
<Y2Jesus> [End of Clone Scan for: #pokebattle]
#41781 [ + | - ] 240
<NoAzRk> So everyday I make my pb&j when I get home. One night
I wake up for a snack and go to the kitchen. Moms smeared
peanut butter and has the dog lapping.
<Argmyeye> sick! what did you do?
<NoAzRk> I made a fucking pb&j when she was done. I was
hungry.
#41779 [ + | - ] -7
<[mN]Cracker> cept my smelly grandparents are in the kitchen
<[mN]Cracker> AND THEY SMELL SO BAD
<[mN]Cracker> THEY SMELL LIKE THEY SHOULD BE DEAD ALREADY
<[mN]Cracker> gawd
#41771 [ + | - ] 587
<naga> 'dixy normus' won for class princess this year at our
school
<naga> at the assembly, they called her name, but she didn't
come down to take the prize
<naga> took 'em 5 minutes to figure it out
<parnbl00d> sounds sexual.
<parnbl00d> was she absent or somethin?
#41757 [ + | - ] 37
<Arno> damn 23 meg avi
<Arno> and it's not even pr0n
<ANSi5> then why waste your time? :P
#41756 [ + | - ] 131
<citrus-> hehe, some guy called me a few weeks ago, asking if
I would like more TV channels to watch. (Obviously selling
some cable stuff) so I said 'Yes I would' and hung up
#41754 [ + | - ] 481
<Nark> anyone ever put a hole in your bed matress then, grease
it up alot, then stick your joint inside and begine to thust?
And then your shit got tangled in a spring and all of a sudden
you realize that this was a REALLY fucking bad idea?
#41752 [ + | - ] 175
<Endura> Man, don't you just hate it when you are with your
parents in front of important people and all of the
sudden...you're hard and it won't go down?
#41743 [ + | - ] 201
<+aisha-fan> dude
<+aisha-fan> my moms boss brougt in a "new" penteium I
<+aisha-fan> those things r so old their obsoleet
<@MewMew[WC3]> As is correct spelling, I presume.
#41741 [ + | - ] 693
<Rodney> damn mom still on ebay
<territory> lol
<territory> ur selling ur mom?
#41736 [ + | - ] 134
<Lisa_W> ah, vevery woman's fantasy, 1,000,000s of mindless
drones doing what she says....and they call her queen
<Lisa_W> but we'll only want the one that acts like a jerk lol
#41726 [ + | - ] 218
<fuzzwad> theres like that one kid in every state that goes to
best buy JUST to destroy the controller
<fuzzwad> you know the one that smells funny and follows you
around
<fuzzwad> STARING at you...
<fuzzwad> I WANT TO SQUEEZE A LEMON IN THAT KID'S EYE
<Lazz> wow
<Lazz> how can you fit a lemon in an eye?
<fuzzwad> ILL FIND OUT!!!
#41724 [ + | - ] 23
<spiteful> the one day rule is when i get to "chill" with you
because it only takes a day for you to get a new guy...
<S4L3M> you're such a lamer
<S4L3M> could you tell your brother i can't come on wednesday?
<spiteful> i could... *couch*onedayrule*cough*
<S4L3M> or i could just call him instead and tell him myself
and ignore that last little attempt at blackmail
* S4L3M smacks you in the back of the head
<S4L3M> *THUNK* idiot
#41722 [ + | - ] 287
* }Phoenix{ has joined #haxxors
<}Phoenix{> Hey, everybody type in /beep 31337 if you wanna be
super-leet
<@Tyreal> Dont do it
<jackle> /beep 31337
<redwing> /beep 31337
<GangstaUO> /beep 31337
<jackle> gah!!!
#41713 [ + | - ] 136
<Mr_Rabies> Spyware is Jewish
<'Wraith> I take offense to that
<Mr_Rabies> well spyware doesnt eat beef
<SKnight> technically, spyware doesnt believe in Jesus either
:
#41707 [ + | - ] 588
Flaritter: "hit it" is an american term
DrSpaZZo: Yes
Flaritter: for examples: "I'd like to hit that"
DrSpaZZo: Brits must have their own thing
Flaritter: AND SO FORTH
DrSpaZZo: Like
Flaritter: ?
DrSpaZZo: 'I'd dip my crumpet in her tea'
#41703 [ + | - ] 288
<AnimeFreak> omg i just bought more ram today
<egg> how many sheep do you have now?
#41701 [ + | - ] 147
<Hellspawn> Does anyone know a place where i can download
Raymond E. Feists books because a) i have other things to
spend cash on. b) Have run out of said cash and c) Kazaa
doesnt have any
<Kura> eww, you would actually read that much off a screen?!
o_O
<Hellspawn> there's a great new invention - schools printers
#41699 [ + | - ] 512
<Tofusensei> linksys routers can suck a cock, btw
<Justin> wow, they really should advertize that feature more.
It would increase sales.
#41678 [ + | - ] -13
<@dev> I just shit out a "family" of logs.
<@dev> There were two huge ones.. 2 smaller ones. and a tiny
one.
<@dev> And then I killed them when I flushed!
<@r3v|ShenL0ng-P-> lol
<@r3v|ShenL0ng-P-> was the tiny one the dog
<@dev> It might have been a baby.
<@r3v|DeathZero> did you poke it.. maybe it was a fetus
<@dev> I left it alone.
<@dev> :o
#41668 [ + | - ] 78
<Veers> I guess they don't teach bathroom manners in Africa
<Donitz> Veers, newsflash, they don't have bathrooms in
Africa.
#41658 [ + | - ] 212
<daed> believe it or not, the robot on the cover of the queen
album is real and he hates you.
#41657 [ + | - ] 66
<Meowfaceman> I Gave NAMBLA Pictures of Your Kid.
#41652 [ + | - ] 344
<skwerrel> sigh...sometimes i really wish i could just ignore
my brain and become a christian
#41649 [ + | - ] 533
<tate> Male Mantises are killed right after procreating. They
die having lived a full and happy life.
<Samus> ok, I'd be a gay mantis
<Samus> no death for me
<Samus> i'd be living it up in Miami Beach
<Samus> going to the gay mantis discos and shit
#41636 [ + | - ] 910
<Amergin|afk> I am dyslexic of Borg. You will be ass laminated