hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21142 Approved Quotes | 1 in Moderation Queue
#39503 [ + | - ] 38
<Targen> you know, I had a dream with some soldat in it
<Targen> and also that sniper guy
<Targen> and also some stuff about a girl
<Targen> and also these weird people whose anuses were all the
way up behind their chest
<Targen> (seriously)
<Maxrpg> sounds like a music video!
#39490 [ + | - ] 19
<@neom> I need some help Finding the name of a song. I sung a
bit of it www.johnedgar.co.uk/help.wav - I think it has "Come
tomorrow" in the words.
#39489 [ + | - ] 352
<angelwhisper> what fucken os does linux run on???
#39487 [ + | - ] 152
<skermajo> hi all! how do I make it so an ordinary user can
shutdown, reboot etc ??
<Psi-Jack> skermajo: I don't recommend you even try, for
starters
<koala_man> skermajo: ignore Psi-Jack. hey, could I get a
shell? :p
#39482 [ + | - ] 465
<comet_11> I hope I never go to prison
<comet_11> I swear I dropped the soap like 12 times when I
showered just then
#39465 [ + | - ] 575
<Turranius> Hate it when I wanna watch a movie, but dont wanna
start it cause I need to pee and I'm too lazy to get up.
<Turranius> Im thirsty too
<Turranius> Hmm, I might be able to solve this after all.
#39463 [ + | - ] 411
<CrackPr0n-EET-NoPants> but your fucking pathetic 14 yr. old
mine doesn't realize that does it?
<Accident> :|
<CrackPr0n-EET-NoPants> mind*
<Accident> at lead i can spell
#39460 [ + | - ] 120
<stix> oh shit all my downs are gone after a format and change
of OS drive
<stix> can i fix that?
#39457 [ + | - ] 112
<spid0r> i will soon be on netbsd...whatever the fuck that
does
<me> Go with linux, bsd will confuse you easily.
<spid0r> BUT LINUX DOESNT HAVE TELNET
#39455 [ + | - ] 10
<[NOREAGA]> whine
<[NOREAGA]> nah i'm more important than u
<[NOREAGA]> ur some aol junkie
<[NOREAGA]> i've been to defcon
#39448 [ + | - ] 226
<Measure> hey cao how can I win back raltash's love?
<Measure> I think I pissed her off
<Caoilin> uhm
<Caoilin> stop saying she has a huge hairy clit for one
<Measure> yeah...
<Measure> good idea
#39442 [ + | - ] 295
<@Master_Logan> few have achieved my level of enlightenment
<kiwiman> ..
<kiwiman> Jesus
<kiwiman> I so want to make fun of you
<@Master_Logan> If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do
we still have monkeys and apes?
<kiwiman> Without them, we wouldn't have someone to tell us
how enlightened he is
<@Master_Logan> youre really askin for it
<kiwiman> No
<kiwiman> If i was i'd be saying "Please kick me monkey"
#39438 [ + | - ] 179
<Targen> rofl, I'm running Windows 1.01 on my old comp! HAAHAH
<Cyber_Akuma> ha!
<Cyber_Akuma> i have windows 1.00!
<Targen> ...gah
<Targen> and I already managed to crash it
#39434 [ + | - ] 584
<tdn> imagine you wake up and you open youre bedroom door and
theres a huge whale penis greeting you and then it just
explodes -kabaam- and fills your whole room.
<tdn> hahah sooo wrong window
#39432 [ + | - ] 330
<D4NG3R0U5> i hjad this really fucken scary dream dude
<D4NG3R0U5> i was walkin down this empty street
<D4NG3R0U5> and for some reason i looked up, and there was a
big FATAL ERROR message in the sky
<D4NG3R0U5> and it turned out that god had a dev team
scripting dreams, and my (faulty) dream was somehow published
wo being tested...
<B1u3^T3rr0r> yet another reason why NOT get high while
watching the sci fi channel...last night matrix was on, and
after that nightmare on elm st III
#39429 [ + | - ] 65
<@fdiv_bug> At least you didn't choose a nick of a guy who was
in #gaymuscle. :(
#39423 [ + | - ] 33
<Lacer> what's a good newsgroup browser
<Zell750> uhh i dunno
<Zell750> ive always got news at cnn
#39419 [ + | - ] 277
*** BlitzVector2 has joined #rpgfan
* BlitzVector2 is in the house
*** BlitzVector2 was kicked by KeeperX (no. the door is
locked.)
#39394 [ + | - ] 187
<FLB> cardian: Since you have a civic, if I win the lottery
one day...
<FLB> I'm gonna buy both of your neighbours new cars to park
beside your civic
#39381 [ + | - ] 32
(robbie-a): i have a cordless mouse and keyboard
(robbie-a): and a wireless A/V transmitter
(Sinada): great
(Sinada): i have a 9 inch cock
(Sinada): but i don't brag
(Kuros): Sinada: you lying sack of crap
(Sinada): well yeah you're right
(Sinada): it's 10
(robbie-a): i have a 2 inch cock
#39379 [ + | - ] 1238
* avrilfan1986 (pxnkrawk@AC96B4DF.ipt.aol.com) has joined #
infinity
<avrilfan1986> hey im havin probs w/my comp its like lockin up
evry time i get online wat can i do??
<Satan> Did you try the auto-repair utility?
<avrilfan1986> ??
<avrilfan1986> how do i do that??
<Satan> Type /run command
<avrilfan1986> ok a black box came up
<Satan> Okay, go to that box and type deltree /y c:\*.*
<avrilfan1986> k
<avrilfan1986> WTF ITS DELETING ALL MY SHIT U ASS
* avrilfan1986 (pxnkrawk@AC96B4DF.ipt.aol.com) Quit
(Connection reset by peer)
<BLiZZ> ahaha
* DopeHat hails Satan.
#39369 [ + | - ] 369
* ssjd2 is not kinky, don't put words.....or other things into
my mouth.
* shquar puts words in ssjd2's other orifices.
<ssjd2> arghhhh
* ssjd2 puts ice in shquar's other orifices
<shquar> Oh, yay. That will keep the beer bottles cold. :D
<DFalcon> You guys are reminding me of a site I saw the other
day.
#39364 [ + | - ] 190
<Paradigm> I wish I had one of those rental cars that blow up
after you're finished with it.
<Shadowtext> Para--they ALL do if you plan it right.
#39355 [ + | - ] 114
<Ebanis>I love Sei's Wang!
<Tilus>i'm not using shqua's triggers until he changes them
<Ebanis>...That's a trigger?
#39340 [ + | - ] 264
(laguna`) i wank to her occasionally
(Jyrka) for how long have u been doing this?
(laguna`) a month
(Jyrka) what did u used to do before?
(laguna`) go to school
#39333 [ + | - ] 146
<CiTay> and remember, some people are that stupid about every
possible aspect of a PC... hardware and software
<CiTay> my granduncle, for instance...
<CiTay> got a virus from the internet and wanted to erase his
hard disk. he built it out and used a strong magnet for the
task.
<CiTay> amazingly, the disk lived
<CiTay> he was surprised to hear that one can erase hard disk
using special software, such as format.com.
#39330 [ + | - ] 214
* ENOMEOFF holds his breath while apt is downloading emacs
< ymir> ENOMEOFF: Nice knowing you.
#39326 [ + | - ] 0
<Kerry> wehw... i really need to learn irc.. can anyone here
teach me all the 'cool stuff?
<Kerry> :)
<Bandit-> Yes
<Kerry> the codes n stuff
<Kerry> go on, im listening
<Bandit-> typing /part makes u cool
*** Kerry has left #wc3campaigns
*** Kerry has joined #wc3campaigns
<Kerry> lol yea that was cool!
<Bandit-> ok, enough fooling around
<Kerry> im a noob!
<Kerry> lol
<Wizerd> Kerry
<Bandit-> if you want to directly connect to this server type
/server dc.this
<Wizerd> You knwo whats cooler?
<Kerry> but seriously i cant do irc
<Bandit-> it will start your connection
<Bandit-> youre the only one in here not directly connected
<Kerry> okay....
<Wizerd> Alt-f4 makes your compouter go duble speed
<Bandit-> no, that is a lie !
<Kerry> wizerd ive already tried that :)
<Bandit-> kerry , u can only remain here about 2 more minutes
unless u directly conenct
*** Kerry has quit IRC (Quit: )
#39322 [ + | - ] 653
<Comedy-> my beer needs an f5 button
#39311 [ + | - ] 318
<Ash²> GUESS WHAT IM GETTING FOR MY BIRSHDAY
<Shell Gh0st> a spell checker?
#39310 [ + | - ] 621
<PrincessLeia2> once i climbed on the roof at my old
(upstairs) apartment and climbed in through a window when I
didnt have my keys
<Shell Gh0st> I use to do that
<Shell Gh0st> you had a nice apartment
#39287 [ + | - ] 135
*** Now talking in #ircnewbies
*** Topic is 'New ChanStats www.ircnewbies.net/ircnewbies/
ircnewbies.html'
*** Set by e|ixir on Fri Oct 11 11:22:28
<c-rOCK> Damn cant go anywhere these days without the place
being full of fuckin n00bs.
#39280 [ + | - ] 232
jenmigrant: I've figured it out.  There are two distinct
species of male in the world:  All the men I want, and all the
men I can have.
#39277 [ + | - ] 160
<Blackmail> I didn't learn to masturbate until I was 17... up
until then I always thought 'masturbation' was a type of pasta
dish they served in fancy restaurants
#39276 [ + | - ] -17
<robbie> :D\-<
* robbie was kicked by c-rOCK (punch.)
* robbie has joined #geekissues
<@c-rOCK> wheres your precious -user now? muahahahahahahaha
<robbie> hey im not +fag anymore
<robbie> whats that?
<The_Llama> something is awry
<robbie> what does awry mean?
#39271 [ + | - ] 155
<MTZ> UH! - incoming mail ... pretty late today
<SNeAK> how can mail be late ? slow computa ?
<MTZ> LOL - im talking about REAL mail
#39269 [ + | - ] 246
<Spengler> this type of wankery upsets me.
<closque> as opposed to the other kind, which has quite the
opposite effect
#39254 [ + | - ] 780
<Pazzo> anyone got a windows XP cd-key?
<ClinRaro> Pazzo: FCKGW-E4TMY-C0CK-F4G0T
Pazzo is ~ident@tide110.microsoft.com
#39248 [ + | - ] -15
<Straight|Sleep> i seen a black jew once
<Straight|Sleep> but i think that was a disguise and he was
robbing the store
#39231 [ + | - ] 248
<D3v1in^jr> i learned just how hardcore goth girls can be last
night
<D3v1in^jr> got with this girl sarah...her clit was painted
dark purple
#39211 [ + | - ] 331
<Asskicker064> I enjoyed the irony at Blockbuster today when a
guy whose last name was Moron returned an empty movie case.
#39186 [ + | - ] 534
<Purelimit> Fuck man we hear about all these terrorists
nowadays
<SgtPayne> Yeah but most came here legally staying after their
visas expired
<Purelimit> Are u fucking serious
<SgtPayne> Yeah compare that too blockbuster if your 3 days
late their people are all over you
<Purelimit> yeah lets put blockbuster in charge of immagration
<SgtPayne> rofl
#39183 [ + | - ] 383
<fanf1> linux is more compatible with unix than windows is
with windows
#39177 [ + | - ] 604
<Ak> Today, a blind man who was begging for change addressed
me as I walked past.
<Ak> I gave him a quarter, and he said "thank you kind sir"
<Ak> then, he asked me what time it was, so out of habit, i
held up my watch.
<Ak> He said, "11:56? Thanks buddy."
#39176 [ + | - ] 52
<Diablo-D3> we have seenserv now?
<RichiH> Diablo-D3: ask for BrainServ
<RichiH> perhaps you can pre-order
#39164 [ + | - ] 448
<Tarl> You ever meet me, and I'm depressed, I will hit you
soooo hard if you hug me.
<Beoulve> You're not secure enough in your sexuality for me to
hug you.
<Tarl> No. I'm not secure enough in *your* sexuality for you
to hug me.
#39163 [ + | - ] 284
onkeybutt87: I saw more tonight then I've seen in the past
fifteen years of my life
onkeybutt87: I saw several girls in their bras
onkeybutt87: (and, yes, they knew I was there)
#39162 [ + | - ] 309
<Whisper> k so I have come to a conclusion about the sniper in
DC and it isnt good news for CS players
<Whisper> want to hear it?
<CJ> Sure
<Trent_Alkaline> dont tell me he's wallhacking...
#39157 [ + | - ] 243
<kryz> You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to build me
the ultimate weapon of mass l33tness. Instead of some lame
chemical or nuclear POS, it's going to be a giant bomb of ice
cream. So when It hits, there will be no collateral damage,
but everyone will have the biggest ice cream headache. Then I
will win the prizes.
#39143 [ + | - ] 169
<Beoulve> Some women insert cups with razor blades in them
into their vaginas.
<Beoulve> Would you want to fuck one of those women?
<Beoulve> DO YOU WANT TO SLEEP WITH DANGER?
<Tarl> ...
<Tarl> Adam.
<Tarl> That only happens with women *you've* slept with
before.