hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21122 Approved Quotes | 11 in Moderation Queue
#36109 [ + | - ] 115
* RichiH can't help it, but every time he sees bubble's nick
he has to think of farting in a tub
#36099 [ + | - ] 295
<Fat-Burrick> you have an obsession, Fuegan
<Fat-Burrick> let me help you
* Fuegan unzips
<Fat-Burrick> oh jesus
#36098 [ + | - ] 759
(backslash) Wow, the introduction to this chapter in the
driving book we got today is. . . well, reassuring.
(backslash) 'Finally, the keys and the car... our dream has
come true! You climb in behind the wheel, the engine starts
and purrs. Wow! Shift into gear and you're off.
(backslash) The sky darkens, rain starts to fall... Where is
that wiper switch? Oops, not that one. Oh! There is it! And
now, the headlights.
(backslash) What does that bright blue light mean? Why is that
oncoming car flashing high beams? My gosh... the car in front
is braking... Your vehicle is sliding!! Your heart is
pounding! Now what?!'
(zztzed) "If you slam on the brakes and go hydroplaning into
the rear end of the car in front of you, turn to page 36."
#36097 [ + | - ] 361
<p0s> interesting.....humans build computers with hundreds of
millions of transistors....for rating each others poo
#36091 [ + | - ] -22
<AhrT> i had a gf that would make me sniff her Fillet O' Fish
everytime we went to Maccas coz she reckoned it smelle like
smoo too
<AhrT> and now i can't even order one without crackin' a fat
#36088 [ + | - ] 55
<Vagabond_> you get hit with a dick when you goto mcdonalds?
<DrklrdBob> Usually.
<Robyn``> DrklrdBob: Yes, and you will even get a free toy.
<Vagabond_> is it a beefy dick?
<DrklrdBob> Is the toy safe for children 3 and under?
#36063 [ + | - ] 100
<lux> my dog walked in while i was stroking it
<lux> so i gave him a facial
<lux> =[
#36062 [ + | - ] 1444
<jeffrey> Starting from:  1 Penn Plaza, New York, NY
10119-0001
<jeffrey> Arriving at:   1535 Broadway, New York, NY
10036-4077
<jeffrey> Distance:  2835.0 miles  Approximate Travel Time:
43 hours 36 mins
<jeffrey> GO GO MAPQUEST GO
#36029 [ + | - ] 535
<[VU]JackFrost> ok, explain this...  i make 10000 on
3dmark2001
<[VU]JackFrost> but i can't run half of my winamp visual
thingys at full screen without jerking
<Modman> lol
<[VU]JackFrost> without the screen jerking, that is
#36000 [ + | - ] 222
<bR^QuAnTuM-tX-> ew
<bR^QuAnTuM-tX-> yoru dad ejaculates into my mouth
<bR^QuAnTuM-tX-> er.
<bR^QuAnTuM-tX-> your mouth*
#35955 [ + | - ] 6276
<EyesofPrisms> and ou are an uytter newb
<KC48348751> dude
<KC48348751> how did that y move over like 12 characters
#35948 [ + | - ] 167
<CUI> On other hand, I figure that this will be a night to
remember
<Psy_Duck> Hand is all you need
<Psy_Duck> :)))
<CUI> Hand is all I got =/
#35944 [ + | - ] 149
<MyTh`snoogans> i told one of my teachers one time to stfu.. i
said the letters.. he didnt know what it meant
#35942 [ + | - ] 1278
<Arwen`> maybe she hates clubs because she's ugly.
<jasong> maybe she hates clubs because she's a seal
#35941 [ + | - ] 235
<DMAUL-agay> i was gonna watch slackers but im to lazy to put
the cd in.
#35939 [ + | - ] 133
<Bubbs-> arg, too... much, garlic bread... breast, stinks
<Bubbs-> er...breath
#35936 [ + | - ] 508
<SageChris> and honestly, as amusing as the handicapped are,
to make fun of them on the internet is just cold...
<street> they shouldnt have been criminals in their past lives
<SageChris> hahaha, thats the best excuse i've ever heard
#35930 [ + | - ] 545
<MystrsPP2> Happiness is like a pineapple
<MystrsPP2> it hurts you on the outside
<MystrsPP2> and is yellow on the inside
#35923 [ + | - ] 60
<CzarKhan> well I have like 20 pillows and two teddy-bears but
it's really like alone
#35922 [ + | - ] 94
<Base2> Win2k has that feature where I can be logged in, then
"suspend" or whatever, and let my girl user her account right?
<Cosmok> Base2   thats xp
<Base2> damn it
<Floach> your girl needs her own damn computer :)
<Cosmok> who are you kidding, you dont have a gf, just a sock
<_mrG> hrm
<_mrG> I guess socks could use a computer, if they are the
type with toes
#35916 [ + | - ] 832
<Crimson_Dynamo> If I were stranded on a desert isle, I think
I would make a girl out of coconuts, but she'd probably just
want to be friends
#35913 [ + | - ] 6
<eyesore> Now Link looks like a child molesters poster child
<Crimson_Dynamo> The new game will sell well if its target
demographic is catholic preists
<eyesore> lol
<eyesore> ZING!
#35912 [ + | - ] 221
<[OZ\Lt]TheGodOfDeath[Away]> Is Janet Reno your mother?
Sister? Lover?
<Crimson_Dynamo> all of the above
* [OZ\Lt]TheGodOfDeath[Away] runs away screaming
#35905 [ + | - ] 135
<b0at> <------------ FireHeart
<SeXaH> <------------------- Doesnt care
<pr0t0> <-- bonehead
<SeXaH> indeed ---^
#35896 [ + | - ] 236
<Heather> penises are scary =/
<Kevyn> how so?
<Heather> they feel weird.
<Kevyn> how do they feel?
<Heather> like the rubber lizard in spencer's.
#35884 [ + | - ] 696
<@FlatFace> dude, im fucked up. i got a cd case and i not only
forgot what i was gonna get, but
<@FlatFace> .....
<@FlatFace> FUCK I FORGOT WHAT THE SECOND ONE WAS
#35862 [ + | - ] 1430
<PovRayMan> Weee
<PovRayMan> some hot chicks asked if I wanted to go to the bar
with them
<PovRayMan> and drink
<PovRayMan> and dance
<PovRayMan> i said no
<PovRayMan> because star trek is on
#35823 [ + | - ] 604
[Daishi] my bro wants me to get offline so he can call mom
again!
[Daishi] excuse me as i go beat him into a coma
[Daishi] fucken brb!
»» quits Daishi (daishi@216.194.20.216) (Read error:
Connection reset by peer)
[Cae] I guess his bro won
#35818 [ + | - ] 648
<Sean> hehe my history teacher has an iraqi which he nicked
from a tank in iraq
<Sean> which is quite cool
<eddy> just some random iraqi? :)
<Sean> ooops, an iraqi flag
#35765 [ + | - ] 173
<Jedisar> Moleculor: Now you see the world through my eyes.
<Moleculor> No. Because that would leave two gaping holes in
your head.
#35764 [ + | - ] 257
<Celestar> They have found an enourmous security hole in
Microsofts VPN implementation on all Win2000 and WinXP
versions
<RichiH> Celestar: did they have enough free space on the bug
list to add it?
#35763 [ + | - ] 105
<[DI]Indefinate> lan party = lots of pr0n = full hdd = fucked
computer = no pr0n to watch = disaster!
#35761 [ + | - ] 1250
<+starry_eyed_surprise> why do girls have to have a pic to be
proven female??
<@Storm_Queen> Because this is the internet.
<@Storm_Queen> Unless proven otherwise, you are a 50yr old man
with a bucket of KFC in one hand and your penis in the other.
#35756 [ + | - ] 229
<Andy> sorry about leaving abruptly before :) the ice cream
van went past the house and then the power went out :)
<speice> what the Ice-cream van took out the power line??
<UFO6> nah, the rush of overweight kids to the van?
<Andy> Hehe ;)
<UFO6> i saw a kid put a dent into a car from running into it
once...
<UFO6> man, you would think his head was rubber from the way
he bounced off.
#35754 [ + | - ] 184
<usunoro> it's not small it's just more efficient
#35748 [ + | - ] 315
<ESPzetec> maybe you were swapped at birth?
<zeen> maybe your mom had an abortion but you wouldn't die
#35746 [ + | - ] 638
<GoteN80> the headline in the paper tonight
<GoteN80> Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
#35743 [ + | - ] 115
<LemonTea> i have no desire to see a real person nude
#35729 [ + | - ] 143
<Hugo> BRB.. Grilling some butterflies.
#35720 [ + | - ] 549
[+Duds] brb phonesex
[+Duds] well not really
[+Duds] depends who answers i suppose
#35712 [ + | - ] 377
<l0g1c> Does giving handjobs make you go blind??
<ApOkAliPs> well...depends where you aim it...
#35672 [ + | - ] 145
<@mewse> fraggle have you done nfs
<@fraggle> no
<@fraggle> is it a good high
#35634 [ + | - ] 1224
<WillaCuz> everyone that rides in my car says 'i feel lik im
in the batmobile'
<pagan> thats cuz you wear that fucking rediculouse outfit
#35602 [ + | - ] 159
<timmo> as soon as i think people might not be retarded
<timmo> everyone goes and fucks up my faith in people
#35578 [ + | - ] 161
<Ice_raven> two reasons to like ICQ
<Ice_raven> 1. it's fucking eleet when you have a bot named
Erica make pseudo-cyber-sex with you
<Ice_raven> 2. when you get messages like [@#$]S?dl?nder (8:44
PM) are you from afganistan
#35567 [ + | - ] 468
<kisa> GET DRESSES, WE'RE LEAVING IN 2 MINUTES!!!
<Stalker> WHERE are you going?
<kisa> DRESSED, DRESSED DAMMIT!
#35566 [ + | - ] 227
<eyesore> the most mmorpg im looking forward to is SWG
<milk> so you can be a loser in a galaxy far far away?
#35524 [ + | - ] 111
<ToddBored> FF11 is gonna suck, its gonna be MMORPG but on PS2
<ToddBored> will kill the whole fantasy part of the series,
cuz there will be idiots in it
<ToddBored> naming themselves kewldude, and kingpimpmaster
<ToddBored> i dunno why they did it...
<ToddBored> im serious dude
<ToddBored> its not gonna have a story line to get into
<ToddBored> cuz all youre gonna hear is Lololo!!L!11 j000 got
owned
<ToddBored> i roxx at FF11
#35522 [ + | - ] 755
<_rm> xp is great
<_rm> better than fucking me or 98
#35521 [ + | - ] 576
<_sho_> Did you hear about the dyslexic guy who walked into a
bra?
<RichiH> _sho_: that was so bad, it hurt