hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21142 Approved Quotes | 1 in Moderation Queue
#29712 [ + | - ] 800
<D4NG3R0U5> one time, in my science class, i had this dream...
<daenonok> dude you slept in class?
<D4NG3R0U5> in which my girlfriend (who sat a few seats away)
got up, and, on her way over to me took off her top, then got
on her knees and unzipped my pants
<D4NG3R0U5> yeah i slept in class, sometimes (when i decided
it was time for my medication)
<D4NG3R0U5> and, bc the night before she gave me head irl, the
dream was really vivid...woke up, everyone was lookin at me...
<D4NG3R0U5> then the teacher went back on talkin, and everyone
turned back around...that haunts me
#29709 [ + | - ] 201
<Threeboy> i think advertising other channels is like bay
employees going into sears and shouting "HUDSON BAY COMPANY
NEEDS MORE CUSTOMERS"
#29693 [ + | - ] 137
* Amuck50 designs some magic items for a D&D campaign
<Amuck50> heheh Arrows of Nuking.....
<Kyle> Cock ring of glory.
<Amuck50> cock ring of +2 protection
#29688 [ + | - ] 308
<ATAD> I saw a girl that has a pikachu umbrella
<ATAD> it's all yellow, has pikachu's face on it, and 2
pikachu ears sticking off the top
<Wagoo> Was she seckzy?
<ATAD> iono
<ATAD> I was looking at the pikachu umbrella more
<Wagoo> "Hello my dear, that's an awfully attractive pikachu
umberella you have there, maybe you'd like to come back to my
dorm room to discuss it's forms, themes, and concept."
#29685 [ + | - ] 695
@|C|REDS`: I want a fuckin gf
@|C|Nemur: you want a girlfriend or a geforce? plz be specific
#29667 [ + | - ] 221
<mentality> THE WORLD IS GOING TO END
<darkLem> and it's coming in all caps.
<mentality> WE ARE ALL GONNA DIE
#29666 [ + | - ] 729
<eX|NYC> wtf my mom tells this lady to come over then she
leaves 10 secs b4 she comes so im stuck here with this lady
like uhh dude i dont know wtf she went leave me alone let me
play my computer games >_<
<PJ> its called a baby sitter.
#29663 [ + | - ] 282
<Olan> I haven't been in her for a while...
<nukem> i'm sorry to hear that
#29660 [ + | - ] 157
([Locutus]) wait a minute..here we have its in my enbglsi
dictionary.." Scrimp, 'prawn "
([Locutus]) know it now?
(@Wagoo) yaw
(@Wagoo) I look at prawn on the net all the time
(@Wagoo) I hate when they ask for your credit card details
though :/
#29657 [ + | - ] 701
<Azrel> that was a pain in the ass
<AnalBoy24m> I know the feeling.
#29653 [ + | - ] 112
<KuWaItdog> I can get rid of the ban with my defence extrem
ban programme.
<KuWaItdog> I have an american friend he have been in mirc
network for 15 years I'm not lying I can tell to give you
something I dont know what it is but it is a virus [strong
virus]that you cant put ignore or cancel the virus will get in
your computer before you know it so what you think scared?
#29649 [ + | - ] 269
* mike rolls eyes WITH SEXY RESULTS
<RushMore> you got porn behind eyeballs?
<mike> yes
<RushMore> lucky cunt
<RushMore> mine is on the bottom of my foot
<RushMore> which is relly ackward for masturbation
#29550 [ + | - ] 202
* Re-monkey (re-monkey@cdm-208-52-188-lkch.cox-internet.com)
has joined #geekissues
<Re-monkey> Wow
<Re-monkey> It's all the people I've been laughing at.
<Re-monkey> I love reading QDB.
<Re-monkey> This is almost like seeing all the great celebs in
one place.
<Re-monkey> But, not quite.
#29549 [ + | - ] 275
<@rudesmurf> my mom got me "real brewed" iced tea
<@rudesmurf> it tastes like cold tea
<@pikacheney> iced tea is cold tea...
#29529 [ + | - ] 485
<Drizuid> what operating system does linux run on?
#29498 [ + | - ] 251
<ReWom> IRC is full of sexy and beautiful people, they just
send you the wrong pictures.
#29471 [ + | - ] 49
<MoLsOnGiRL> hehe ive been just laughing my ass off here the
past half hour
<Owyn> I think we figured as much.
<Owyn> Giggly? Now you have the "munchies"?
<Owyn> Or are you starting to "burn out"
<MoLsOnGiRL> hey hey
* Owyn runs out of pot slang
#29468 [ + | - ] 246
<Guilty> <v-ger> i like masturbating with a jar of peanut
butter and leaving the big cylindrical hole in it so the next
person has a REALLY good idea what i did
<Guilty> Approve Kill Nothing
<logik_> kill
<Mdar> kill
<gfjgfjgfj> what does nothing do?
<Mdar> is that a rhetorical question?
#29442 [ + | - ] 1393
<Phuser> Last night the power went out. Good thing my camera
had a flash...I took 65 pictures of myself making a
sandwich...My neighbors thought it was lightning in my house,
so they called the cops.
#29435 [ + | - ] 597
<nastsm0m> jakob do me a favor?
<nastsm0m> never get married
<nastsm0m> never breed
<nastsm0m> in fact don't even date
<Greylark> don't ever leave your room
<nastsm0m> yeah that either
<jakob> you just described my life... :(
#29433 [ + | - ] 2123
Nastard> i think i just found an avi of shania twain sucking
some guy off
<matt> that don't impress me much
#29423 [ + | - ] 775
<DoomLord9> heh. reminds me of the other day. my mom walked up
to me with a pair of panties and says "i found these in your
room. care to explain" i was like "......no, i can't explain
that, but thank you for the hope that women come into my room
and strip when i'm not there. you have made my day happy"
<DoomLord9> unfortunetly, they were just my sisters she had
just taken out of the wash. i was kinda bummed about that
#29403 [ + | - ] 341
<Chaos[X]> Overclocking can screw everything up.
<Chaos[X]> I've seen it break up marriages.
#29402 [ + | - ] 420
<misogynic> Senor: tell me, is your mother still attractive?
<SenorWeird> for someone her age, I'd say so.
<misogynic> Can I have her number?
<SenorWeird> (305)867-5309
<misogynic> :D!
<misogynic> What's her name?
<SenorWeird> Jenny
<misogynic> Is that her honest number?
#29379 [ + | - ] 321
<@Pumiliocumfustis> these speakers have so much bass
<@qrg> how do they fit fish in such small boxes
#29356 [ + | - ] 159
<SC__AT> 3. What united states president was in office during
the civil war?
<SC__AT> Times up! The answer was: forty three
#29355 [ + | - ] 393
<finneas> the only good thing tom green has been in is drew
berrymore
#29353 [ + | - ] 138
<lasereyes> im looking at that dazzle mpeg2.. but its like 350
bucks
<finneas> can you put a price on quality piracy?
#29321 [ + | - ] 347
<tima> k, i'm starving
<rocky> fooooooood
<OlDirtyB> im starving too
<EConc_> god, since when did #nerdz become ethiopia?
#29317 [ + | - ] 497
<Logik-> ymir wants to hire a personal assassin to kill me
<Logik-> <---- has land mines in his yard
<tra__> what happens when the grass cutter comes to clip the
lawn?
<Logik-> tra__, they're not allowed to mow certain spots :P
<tra__> so the hitman just treads through the mowed spots,
since its easier to walk there anyway?
#29291 [ + | - ] 534
<acetylcholine> if it's 2 things i hate it's racial profiling
and arabs on my airplane
#29284 [ + | - ] 447
<enajyram> support bacteria, it's the only culture some people
have.
#29276 [ + | - ] 924
<slappy> I leave punk on for my cats so they'll get more
hardcore while I'm out
#29269 [ + | - ] -110
<JP|> I'd choose unix over linux
#29261 [ + | - ] 280
<+atseleon> like that girl in biology class, the teacher said
that there is glucose in sperm, then the girl said, then how
come it tastes so salty
<@LillieCharlotte> smart gal
#29247 [ + | - ] 340
<dingo> did you hear the polish government bought 5000 septic
tanks?
<twolovvers> what in the hell for?
<twolovvers> well, as soon as they figure out how to drive
them, they're going to invade germany.
<twolovvers> huh?
<twolovvers> I'm very naive, and I pay no attention to world
news
<twolovvers> so if your bullshitting me I havn't a clue
<dingo> septic tanks....drive them...going to invade...
<dingo> umm...
<dingo> you dye your hair blonde lately?
<twolovvers> no it's dark brown with a hint of red
<twolovvers> septic tanks aren't meant to be driven
<dingo> ...
<twolovvers> so your making a polish joke to mock them?
<dingo> i think they're mocking themselves at this point.
#29243 [ + | - ] 215
<tate> has anyone played this Amercan's Army game?
<Beerman> nope
<Goonigoogoo> I've read about it, but never downloaded it
<Beerman> I wonder if you can mod it
<Beerman> "talibans army"
<Beerman> that would be a fun game
<tate> yeah, and you can throw rocks, and mail Anthrax
<tate> and hide in caves
#29237 [ + | - ] 25
(irix): scrim?
(irix): :o
(jot): against?
(irix): team colorado
(irix): :)
(jot): we only play people from states that matter
#29198 [ + | - ] 1163
<Coldfeet®> having sex after 20 beers is like playing pool
with a rope
#29151 [ + | - ] 152
<SteveCase> what does one do here?
<hunnybun> jerk off to girls gone wild infomercials
#29134 [ + | - ] 456
<InkyTriviaBot> Question: what was the first zeppelin made of?
<InkyTriviaBot> answer:  --------
<AlexisMachine> fire
#29083 [ + | - ] 932
<Chyno> Oww...I was wanking so hard I got cramp in my leg.
<Critíc> Fascinating.
<Chyno> I thinked the guy liked it though.
<Critíc> ....
<Critíc> I don't think anybody saw that coming.
#29074 [ + | - ] 719
<Puddle of Mudd> Have they named the disorder where you become
obsessed with terrible songs?
<Critíc> Pop culture.
#29066 [ + | - ] 429
<rudesmurf> oh, by the way, you have woman arms.
<@Chomps> not really, but I have child's wrists
<rudesmurf> why is that?
<@Chomps> because i cut them off some kid
#29046 [ + | - ] 1547
<zamros> My names Nickie.Im a 17 year old mommie to a
beautiful 13 month old little girl(born July 21,2001).Im also
19 weeks pregnant with what is believed to be a boy..and our
last child! Our meaning my husband.He's 19 years old and in
the army.We've been together 3 years and married for almost 1.
We're currently stationed in Fort Bragg,NC. Look forward to
reading all your posts!
<zamros> DEAR NICKIE
<zamros> YOU'VE RUINED YOUR FUCKING LIFE
<zamros> SINCERELY,
<zamros> GOD
#29043 [ + | - ] 312
(|Kore|): whats the best webcam to get lads?
(DawnRazor): to get lads you'll need breasts
#29040 [ + | - ] 240
<spoony> i'm not bright but i can lift heavy things
#29025 [ + | - ] 367
<Ed> Why is there so much fat porn lately? Someone needs to be
shot.
<Rivorus> what the hell is wrong with fat porn?
<Toad> Yeah, I'm sure they all have great personalities.
#29003 [ + | - ] 797
<nosliwc156> So I walk in to the living room, and Patricks
watching Hanson on TV...
<nosliwc156> he turns around to me, and says "I would so
totally do her"
<nosliwc156> and all I could think to do was turn around, and
walk out...
#28978 [ + | - ] 23
<GRiPEX> why am i getting packeted from ACA2CA99.ipt.aol.com
<GRiPEX> its killing my linux machine