hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21112 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#21025 [ + | - ] 1014
<Storm> ok, when my mom's friend was like 6, she was out
waiting for the bus, also happened to be garbage pick-up day
<Storm> so anyways little kid is waiting for the bus, and her
dog comes running out her house to see her, well...unfortunate
timing placed the dog right in the street as the garbage truck
was arriving
<Storm> so *BAM!* street pizza
<Storm> but then...the garbage man gets outta the
truck....sees the dead dog...and just tosses it in the back of
the truck, right infront of all the kids at the bus stop
#21023 [ + | - ] 261
<Prae> theres always a "good" replacement for uo2, like
...'hidden dragon, crotching tiger'
<Soulflame> CROTCHING TIGER?
<Grath_SC> crotching?
<CrashCat> hahah
<Greven> lol
<DarKnight> crouching panda, hidden what?
<Mako> 'crouching woman, burning sensation'.
#21018 [ + | - ] 194
<Lum_> From tomorrow through Labor Day, a U.S. holiday
celebrated on September 3, jeans are fine for all non-customer
situations, any day of the week.
<Loafman> Now, is that black jeans or all colors?
<Lum_> all colors
<Xeen> I say we push this as far as it will go.
<Lum_> I got some with no crotch
<Soulflame> ...
<Lum_> I'll wear those tomorrow
<Xeen> Ok, so not quite as far as it will go.
#21004 [ + | - ] 275
(zerox): i thought i was going to XXX the movies website when
i went to www.XXXMOVIE.com but i was pleasently mistaken
#21002 [ + | - ] 318
<Pants> you know .. living in australia .. and being raised
watching so much american television .. sometimes you get
confused and think to dial 911 instead of 000 for emergencies
#21001 [ + | - ] 345
*** panda sets mode: +vvv ecs Kitsune Warskull
*** Goonigoogoo sets mode: +vvv Beersplurgleywurgelywoo chris
[sleep] JonesSoda
<afropik> I don't liek where this is going
*** panda sets mode: +m
*** afropik is now known as WTFTurnItOff
#21000 [ + | - ] 41
[03:11] (twistedps) i believe im highly antisocial.
[03:11] <aqualyricist> ha
[03:11] <nightbreed420> me to tps
[03:12] <aqualyricist> i am so antisocial that i write down my
orders at fast food carryouts
[03:12] <aqualyricist> drive throughs are a bitch tho
[03:12] (twistedps) haha yeah thats damn antisocial.
#20994 [ + | - ] 134
<dontgotOP> JOEJOE: cant u cut out the xbox code on a demo
disc and glue it on a backup and it will play?
#20990 [ + | - ] 236
isajeep: I think you ride the man train sir.
rzrshrp: then i'll get off the next stop.
isajeep: uhhh...
#20987 [ + | - ] 145
gree: this girl asked me whats wrong, i told her im a
different man when i run linux
#20980 [ + | - ] 240
<kisama_> the things i do to get my porn on
<kisama_> gonna wait until 1 am
<kisama_> then move comp into the bathroom
#20978 [ + | - ] 1948
<rzrshrp> I want food
<NickBlasta> build more farms
#20976 [ + | - ] 158
<maalox> The period between clicking on a link to stileproject
and waiting for the picture to load is probably the most
intense feeling since when I first penetrated myself with a 2
liter
#20973 [ + | - ] 684
<Fredo> wanna see something cool?
<Dementio> no, the last time someone said do you wnna see
something cool i ended up pregnat
#20940 [ + | - ] 199
<Adrennalyne> i want icecream but its like 4am :/
<viscera> you can't always get what you want, but if you run
fast enough, can tiptoe effectively and carry a large, blunt
instrument at all times, sometimes, possibly, maybe you can
beat it into an amnesia hazed coma long enough to play
make-believe
<viscera> life is grand, no?
#20929 [ + | - ] 632
<anti-hero> how do u do the quote things?
<@renetiq> anti-hero you have to write a script :P
<anti-hero> like a play?
<@Oz> rofl
<@renetiq> lol
<anti-hero> how do u do it then?
<anti-hero> i dont have time to write a play
#20928 [ + | - ] 274
<damocles> osama bin laden is hiding in my shed.  I feed him
boiled cabbage once a week, and when he sleeps I read the
bible to him
#20924 [ + | - ] 300
<Chebarak> dude where you live?
<Ildefonse> i live in the netherlands
<Chebarak> right
<Chebarak> so where you live ?
#20922 [ + | - ] 25
Brax-SP: Now, a for a test of group effort. Everyone decide
who should ask the next question. I need a unanimous vote.
Morrolan: owch
Bruxail: Morrolan!
Xerin: Morrolan
Ildefonse: Morrolan
Morrolan: whoah
BowenTheKotoc: Morollan
Omni: Morr
Raven|E: Morollan
Primalmoon: Primalmoon
Bruxail: hehe
Omni: whered that come from :)
Ildefonse: OMG..
Faeleia: dork
Primalmoon: Morrolan I guess..
#20920 [ + | - ] 169
<[PtFe]Harrison> If I ever purchased a firearm, it'd have to
be something like...  I dunno...  A fifty calibur sniper
rifle.  If I'm going to get a gun, I might as well be able to
punch a hole in a tank, you know?
<[LsR]Darrian> lol
<[LsR]Hotwire> law launcher for me. if it dont blow stuff up,
i dont want it.
<[LsR]Darrian> I just want something I can whip out in the
middle of a strip joint and yell "suck it, bitch!"
#20891 [ + | - ] 655
<Fraud> hehe ill never forget in math class in high school
back in the day, 2 negros get in a fight and one stabs the
other with a screw driver right in front of me when im like a
freshman, then some black girls stands up and screams OH SHEET
HE STABBED CORNBREAD
#20879 [ + | - ] 697
<GameBot> 133.  What three letters are overly used to indicate
'Laugh Out Loud'?
<Wolf-Olo> heh
#20875 [ + | - ] 639
<cainispissyill> YES YES YES YES YES YES YES
<cainispissyill> GOOOOO MATH!
<cainispissyill> GOOOOO STATISTICS!
<badtz-maru> GOOOOOOOOOOO AWAY
#20872 [ + | - ] 515
<orf> animals are just refridgerators
<orf> they keep the meat fresh till yer ready to eat it
#20788 [ + | - ] 827
<Murgatroyd> You know you've been playing Nethack too much
when...
<Murgatroyd> You look both ways down the corridor, start to
sweat... then realise you're looking at your EMail address.
#20782 [ + | - ] 161
<Shastao> ...which is more disturbing, the fact we calculated
a weird, weird way to go impossible distances in virtually no
time, or the fact you can become a minister online? :P
#20761 [ + | - ] 98
<lewney> I remember being wasted last night; I went to the
bathroom and shared an asla with some other guy
<lewney> cause there was a long queue
<lewney> to the bathrooms...
<lewney> yes, I'll shut up now.
#20759 [ + | - ] 200
<z|davies> quote: "this looks object oriented" when he saw a
spinning cube on
the screen... I think he misunderstood object
oriented =)
#20757 [ + | - ] 275
<[DMK]Relvox> can anyone tell me what "BUST A CAP" means?
<DrStrangelove> It means they'll friggin slit your throat if
you use caps, ever again.
#20755 [ + | - ] 751
<Teirlap> Nickelback needs to be shot. All of them.
<Bucky> Why stop there?
<Teirlap> Uh... Because I need to reload?
#20753 [ + | - ] 256
<Gothmog> hmmm... we keep on changing our nicks to reflect
what we're doing... so how come when we're chatting, we don't
change our nicks to whatever|IRC?
<Gothmog> Gothmog: asking the hard questions since 2002
#20750 [ + | - ] 28
<Wing_Zero> cyxx: http://www.d8.dion.ne.jp/~marquis/
yamato31.jpg
<cyxx> that's like...6
<cyxx> wait..fuck
* cyxx curses his nick
<cyxx> I mean
* Nakago curses 6
* cyxx gives up and goes to the corner
#20749 [ + | - ] 33
<clairey> a blowjob is fobbing someone off half the time
because you couldnt be fucked.  pardon the pun.
#20748 [ + | - ] 638
<ShadowMouse> bye
<Coan_Arcanius> bye
<[Bryan]> bye
<cams> bye
<[Bryan]> (damn we sound like a boy band)
#20747 [ + | - ] 123
* infinitySPZ gives it to Wolf-Olo in the butt.
* Wolf-Olo howls
<Peri> aww how cute
<infinitySPZ> $replace($1-,it,Peri)
<Wolf-Olo> Bastard
<Wolf-Olo> We were just getting close
#20744 [ + | - ] 873
(Duo): HOW HARD DO I HAVE TO PULL THIS STUPID JUMPER
(Rai): hm
*** Duo has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer)
(Rai): That was too hard.
#20740 [ + | - ] 1452
<Inignot> here is a magic trick Mordecai - think of a card in
a stardard deck and type done and I will tell you the card.
<Mordecai> done
<Inignot> 10 of diamonds!
<Mordecai> I was thinking 'blue mana'
#20739 [ + | - ] 260
** ragum sets mode: +b *!*@Baseball.conversation
<mrclean> guerrero is the best hitter in baseball
<ragum> excuse me
<ragum> didn't I just ban baseball talk?
<ragum> I could've sworn I did
*** HighChief sets mode: +b *!*@fat.ass.chicks
<HighChief> Didn't I just ban all american females?
<HighChief> I could have sworn i did
<Atlantic`> ROFL
#20696 [ + | - ] 735
<Rasix> I like tits and I don't want anything rammed up my ass
nor do I want a cock in my mouth. I'd say that makes me
hetero.
<Rodent> Heh.
<SirBruce> Honesty is the best policy
<SirBruce> Rasix - What about your cock in someone else's
mouth?
<NephKa> jesus
<Rodent> Well, I for one don't belive Bi is the natural state.
<Rasix> Female, yes, man no.
<@Technogeek> Hey, if I'm getting a blowjob, I don't care who
it's from as long as they don't bite it off.
<SirBruce> But blindfolded you wouldn't know the difference
<NephKa> i care, it has to be a chick
<Rodent> Unless you felt a beard by the balls.
<NephKa> lol
<SirBruce> Only because you've been trained that way by
society.
<Rasix> that's not an issue, when the fuck would I stand
around blind folded waiting for a blowjob
#20645 [ + | - ] 310
<AvatarADV> Condensed version: "How the hell did his KNIGHTS
shoot down my strategic bombers?!"
<ShadowLotus> LOL
<meep_meep> lol. catapults
#20623 [ + | - ] 334
[aq] i love irc quotes
[ob0t] i hate them
[ob0t] i always end up looking like a retard
#20541 [ + | - ] 1204
<JBurna> lol you got free AOL knowin AOL sucks ass
<Demi> Its
<Demi> Free.
<@Prowler> So is gum on the bottom of chairs.
#20537 [ + | - ] 197
<Communista> I'm going to hell.
<Communista> I'm just a wicked person.
<Communista> I was on lunch with the trainees and a news story
came on about the showing (funeral) of a man that drowned...
<Communista> and I turned to them and said "Wanna go see a
dead body?"
#20528 [ + | - ] 385
<Nugget94M> I remember when my mom first got on the internet,
about 2 years ago. She *almost* had it figured out.
<Nugget94M> she managed to use a search engine, and found a
web page she was interested in.
<Nugget94M> so she printed it out, stuck it in an envelope,
and _mailed_ it to me so I could see it too.
<acidkill> Nugget94M: hehe, i guess she didnt know about
email?
<Nugget94M> she knew about email. it just never dawned on her
that she could mail the url.
#20507 [ + | - ] 328
<SuM_gUy> wat did i do rong
<SuM_gUy> ô¿ô
<wok> learn to spell then i will tell you
<SuM_gUy> wat did i spell rong
<SuM_gUy> hay
#20506 [ + | - ] 246
<ian__> I feel like an idiot sitting here with my face 5" away
from the monitor with my eyes crossed trying to see a picture
of a mans asshole hidden in a jpeg.
#20505 [ + | - ] 326
<frink> A properly configured microsoft firewall will stop
100% of hackers.
#20470 [ + | - ] 32
<Fugazi-> one time i was at sibley and playing football and
this guy tackled my cousin and fucken ripped his nipple off
<Fugazi-> there was nothing but a goddam bloody nipple
#20466 [ + | - ] 163
<freedumb> He's the kind of person who will wind up paying for
this first sexual-encounter at age 31, get frustrated in the
middle, and kill himself
#20459 [ + | - ] 168
<weed> the wife goes "Why don't you marry your computer geek
friends this saturday instead of me!"