hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21112 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#18539 [ + | - ] 129
(jR): unix is weak.. I prefer to use Pascal
#18493 [ + | - ] 219
<nein> what unix o.s. should i install on a 486 with 7megs
ram?
<nein> laptop
<A-KO> Trashcan with kernel I.7.5u-ck.5
<A-KO> :)
<nein> is that a free download?
<nein> heheh
<nein> will it run aol?
#18492 [ + | - ] 234
<Sasquatch> in 20 years schindler's list will be the subject
of MST3K
<Sasquatch> <Crow> He's Makin a list, and checkin' it twice.
<TomServo> I don't get it, is he naughty? or nice?
#18486 [ + | - ] 198
* jitspoe feels fembot... fuzzy
* Fembot shaved
<jitspoe> not there you didn't
#18484 [ + | - ] 138
<Murdock> r2d2 isnt a robot.. it's a droif
<Murdock> er.. droid
<jitspoe> r2d2 isn't a robot, it's a midget in a tin can!
#18478 [ + | - ] 163
<Mr_sLacKeR> were do i find crosshair files and were do i
instal them too?
<Jade-> the internet and your computer
#18477 [ + | - ] 292
* Zimbu finds Perl funny
<Zimbu> It's the only programming language that forces you to
use as many emoticons as possible
#18475 [ + | - ] 163
<\windows\system32\format> /run $me
#18474 [ + | - ] 501
<Fryth> anyone seen the movie pi
<Murdock> I saw it 3.14 times.
#18469 [ + | - ] 189
<Fembot> Apple is co-branding a cpu line w/ Monty Python.
it'll be called the "iFartinyourgeneraldirection"
#18468 [ + | - ] 90
<FooMashoo> i wear my pants backwards <Bryan> is that so the
zipper is easier for your lover? <FooMashoo> yes
#18463 [ + | - ] 974
<Bender`> When i was little i took a bath with my dad and when
he stood up from the tub his penis slapped me across the face
#18460 [ + | - ] 148
<Fryth> What is ".net"? Some kind of asp development standard?
<Calrathan> Fryth, distributed computing solution by MS.
<Calrathan> in otherwords... MS can disolve computers around
the world with this stuff
<Calrathan> [distributed computing SOLUTION... har har har]
#18459 [ + | - ] 34
<Calrathan> does it have something to do with Microsoft
rerouting the traffic to go through their own version of
Carnivore, called Omnivore? [it eats EVERYTHING! bwhahahaha]
#18457 [ + | - ] 958
<Kaltorak> every 7 out of 6 days is a bad day for my typing
skils.
<Kaltorak> oh my god.
#18455 [ + | - ] 277
<keithandmike-com> Just stop.. okay. Damnit, I hate you so
much. You probably sit and write these down and just wait for
me to join. Bastard. Eat corn poop.
<Fembot> Mike joined the Navy and wanted to become a SEAL...
there was something appealing about their creed to "never
leave their buddy's behind"
#18454 [ + | - ] 476
<Fryth> ah, math jokes
<Fryth> don't drink and derive
#18452 [ + | - ] 190
<Fembot> weight is like a Mississippi marriage -- purely
relative.
<Fembot> mass is constant
#18451 [ + | - ] 322
<+shattersp1ne> hey i found out a way to abbreviate army
<+shattersp1ne> rme
<+shattersp1ne> i will make millions off of it
#18450 [ + | - ] 223
<carcoal> what's a good car?
<carcoal> truck or sub
<jitspoe> sumbarines are usually good cars, carcoal
#18449 [ + | - ] 248
<Blue> drunk girls are easier than programming
<JC|WooWoo> blue just can't program
#18446 [ + | - ] 254
<RoyalBlood> hes like "my dad tells me all about cars cuz he
downloads them from the internet" ...
<RoyalBlood> i would have slapped him if i was closer
* Fembot knows all about women 'cause he d/l's them off the
Internet
#18437 [ + | - ] 648
<rastie> i teached my kid sister a good lesson
<Murdock> I'm guessing it wasn't an english lesson..
#18431 [ + | - ] 878
<xbain> "statistics show that teen pregnancy significantly
drops off after age 25"
#18406 [ + | - ] 416
<metroid23> wtf... i heard this kind of "knock" on my front
door, i go to check and theres a dead squirrel on my NEIGHBORS
porch O_o
<ScumDog> does it look injured?
<metroid23> its fucking dead
<Gaffect> fell from a tree?
<metroid23> hahaha, right, on the nearest tree (50 feet away)
and then being projected 45 feet horizontally and then falling
thru two stories of concrete :)
<metroid23> poor guy
#18397 [ + | - ] 124
<Scythewz> my bed makes a nice punching bag
<Zimbu> and at night, Scythewz's bed makes a nice diaper
#18392 [ + | - ] 281
<XtremeBain> you know you're a hich when
<Fembot> ya can't spell "hick"
#18341 [ + | - ] 249
<Mr-Ikari> X is being evil on my laptop :(((
<adrian> you have to shake it to clear the screen
#18339 [ + | - ] 528
* Magellan_ narrows his eyes at greylark
<Greylark> why me?
<Magellan_> because you started it
<Greylark> i didn't say anything about your imaginary
girlfriend
<Magellan_> SHES NOT IMAGINARY!
#18337 [ + | - ] 135
geekgirl [~M.E.Landr@68.113.207.136] has joined #megatokyo
<TheRiff> "ill never sleep with another woman ive never met
before again!"
<geekgirl> Whoops
<Mephisto> O.o
<TheRiff> and then they realize they said woman and meant man,
and rethink their whole life
<TheRiff> since she has a mustache, its confusing
<geekgirl> Now that is a weird conversation to come to.
#18335 [ + | - ] 369
<Pika-Screw> Did you ever want to kick Mario right in the
pills and yell "That's for keeping Luigi in the shadows all
these years, bitch!"?
#18334 [ + | - ] 570
<scabb> What's the difference between a Psychiatrist and a
Psychologist?
<MIiscool> I'm not sure, but I think the latter takes care of
easier problems, which can be fixed with medication, while the
former does the whole talking bit
<scabb> So if they were Pokemon, Psychologist would evolve
into Psychiatrist?
<Twilo> wouldn't you need a diploma stone to do it?
<Twilo> you have to trade psychiatrist to a different
university for him to evolve
#18317 [ + | - ] 884
<nzc> actually
<nzc> i need to msg quat
<nzc> there we go
<nzc> and
<nzc> i have to eat
<cj_> and
<cj_> you have
<cj_> to take off
<cj_> your return key
<cj_> and only
<cj_> use it for
<cj_> special occasions
<cj_> like
<cj_> when you finish
<cj_> a sentence
#18316 [ + | - ] 378
<count^> real life is just something the government invented
to steal my money
#18303 [ + | - ] -2
<klogd> http://www.solaristhemovie.com/
<fragglet> is it a horror movie
#18288 [ + | - ] 290
<drunkers> is your real name gabe?
<Gabe-33> yes
<drunker> ever concider killing your parents with a shovel?
<Gabe-33> no
#18286 [ + | - ] 132
[assman] if you wouldnt fuck brad pitt then you're gay
#18274 [ + | - ] 754
<Storm> Ah shit theres a fire in the dorms
<Storm> Guess I should leave, brb
<Zekk> Hhmm.... that sucks
<Storm> Whew, it got put out
<Zekk> Everything OK?
<Storm> Yea, we are thinking about starting another one to get
all the chicks out there in their underwear again  =P
#18271 [ + | - ] 365
<Shrapnull> It's not how the boat floats, or the size of the
mast, but the motion of the ocean
<Aduro> lol
<Tiffy> haha
<cryptonix> just hope your seamen don't have scurvey :D
#18270 [ + | - ] 328
<BloodNose> I'm actually going out for the weekend ... *gasp*
<BloodNose> to spend a night ...
<Blender13> woah
<BloodNose> at a girls house *bigger gasp*
<cryptonix> his aunts
<BloodNose> lol
<Blender13> lol
<BloodNose> and like, I've never even met this girl before
<Blender13> obviously his aunt
<cryptonix> great aunt
<Blender13> ah
<BloodNose> apparently she's really fit and been offered a
modeling job
<cryptonix> hot great aunt
<Blender13> and why the hell are you going there?
<BloodNose> ok, brb ... I need to phone my uncle to see if
it's alright with my aunt still
#18269 [ + | - ] -221
<Morphious> in 7 yrs ive hacked 200 people
#18256 [ + | - ] 184
<endura> I like to get an idea of how easy itd be to get laid
if I walked onto a campus in a gorilla suit with a giant
banana as genitalia
#18255 [ + | - ] 219
<LynxCrR>You'd think if something were trivial you wouldn't
fail at it.
<UprightMan>Says Who?
<UprightMan>You can make something 2000 times
<UprightMan>and still mess up
<UprightMan>Like, Ive peed a few hundred trillion times, but I
still sometimes miss the toilet!
#18254 [ + | - ] 185
<RtWhO> oh shit the shower hurt me......I got in turned the
water on, the water pressure is amazing, well anyways it
knocked me down....I hurt my ass bone
#18253 [ + | - ] 265
<[Piratez]> so what kinda job you got?
<drunkers> i wash dishes
<[Piratez]> at a resturaunt?
<drunkers> no, at home
#18237 [ + | - ] 276
<afhersn> I'm a trojan infected computer set to spam. I got
this way because I went to a p0rn site someone messaged me.
I'm an idiot. Find an IRCop and get me klined please!
#18236 [ + | - ] 26
<Sniperwolf> Im intending to whip you with meh cat5 if you
dont shut up!
#18234 [ + | - ] 84
<C-rEs:#slackware> isnt it recommended to keep ports apart?
like you dont want to use port 1035 and 1036 at the same time?
#18231 [ + | - ] 26
<Wolf_> Oh shit, just realized i tasted my sperm during
masturbation ! :D
<CZ> Sick, how the hell did you managed do that ?
<Wolf_> Well, uh, the pressure was so high...
#18230 [ + | - ] 325
<ZondrZout> Dammit, something is coming out of my ass!
<ZondrZout> brb