<Samrod> while ME, on the other hand, FOUND a digital Casio watch, spend 2 days breaking the code to access the phonebook, called a buncha peaple to see who they know in common, and eventually found its rightfull owner, which turned out to be a classmate <fGewA> me find digital watch! <fGewA> me call rightful owner!
<SamGod> crap, not only does my everything hurt, I can't breath fresh air 'cuz all I smell is gasoline <Coda> why do you smell gasoline SamGod? <SamGod> Coda: 'cuz I smell like gasoline <Coda> why? <SamGod> Coda: I kinda happened to shove an exaust pipe in my sleve for warmth for a few hours last night <Twist-> See? he is a psycho. <SamGod> well, actually, I switched off between one sleve, then the other, then my pant leg, then the other, etc... <Twist-> didn't occur to you to get inside the car?
<SamGod> I turn on the faucet to wash my hands, put my hands in the stream of water, and all of a sudden I stop and get TOTALLY grossed out and I'mlike "Oh GROSS, dammit!!" thinking I just got a ton of piss all over my hands. Then I realize it's a freaking FAUCET and water comes out of it, not piss. What the HELL was my brain thinking?
<|^V^|Grim_Reaper> sorry but im exstreamly intelagent and i have a dick and my g/f happens to be scard of it
<Zorix> fuckin sob.. one of utelfla's routers is down <Zorix> i only got half the internet
<intokbles> sorry, i cant understand... <intokbles> im from argentina, <nobody> its ok jose <intokbles> and my english it`s not so goof <nobody> : ) <nobody> actually it is goof
<@harb> Hah. So the only food I've got is a fortune cookie, and the fortune reads "May you have a good appetite." Bastards.
<+kmad> whats the best way to get vaseline off your dick <@BigJesus> sand paper <+royceda59> lol <+kmad> fuck you, not fallign for that again
<HighKaramba> people who live in silicon houses should not throw pocket protectors
<Godless1> I didn't see it posted asshole <StupidAsshole> did you ad hom me, or call me by my name?
<funkymonkey> My band is called Imation CDR 74m 650 MB....have you seen our CD's?
<PoisonPen> Those of us who were on Usenet back when it was all computer geeks, scientists, and university students remember when the tsunami of AOLusers came in. We thought it was the Gotterdammerung... until WebTV came and revealed the AOLusers as veritable towering geniuses compared to the slope-browed, mouth-breathing idiocy they displayed. They made "ME TOOO!" sound like a work of Shakespeare.
(juslooken) i looked at the bouncer and said 'u dont need to see my id' (juslooken) and he said 'i dont need to see your id (juslooken) it was very jedi
<HeatDeath> You should take care of your nipples. They may not seem important now, but when you die, that's where the angels grab you.
Mortaneous> Lyme... idiots of that caliber still exist Mortaneous> I thought Darwinian evolution woulda killed em off the first time they attacked the toaster with a knife for eating their bread
EpsilonII> Julia Roberts, Jessica Alba, and Angelina Jolie in the remake of "A Pack of Lips Now!
HalfShadow> Oh yeah. Ever see something so bad you wanted to go into fetal position? seventhcrow> spice world
<dabblerblue> i hate pants that are only comfortable when you're standing :( <nzc> so takem off <dabblerblue> i can't, i'm about to go out <dabblerblue> i put them on so i could leave without being arrested <dabblerblue> i hate that
<@Po|2N`GotSex> ok everyone this is the most funniest thing that has happended to me in years.... <@Po|2N`GotSex> my g/f mom found out we fucked <ownsya> lol <@Po|2N`GotSex> and we sat and talked it out
<Jabberwocky> I made a life-sized Battlemech out of legos. I would have taken over the city too, if I hadn't run out of 2x4s for autocannon rounds.
<Lyon> erll, i'm ogg yo trsf snf dlrrp <Lyon> oops <Lyon> well, i'm off to read and sleep <Derian> looks like you need all the dlrrp you can get.
<Actaeon> Stupid three-dimensional universe. <Violetnite> Better than a two dimensional universe. <Actaeon> Well, depends on the dimensions. <Actaeon> And really, it is a good/bad thing. <Violetnite> What is the good and bad. <Violetnite> Just curious. <Actaeon> The three-dimensionality makes it so that I am seperated from people I meet on here by actualy traversable space. On the other hand, three dimensions are necessary for tits. So, guess I just have to deal.
<cochese04> Next time I'm at the pet store, I'm gonna take a hampster and drop it in the scorpion cage. <cochese04> I wanna see what a hampster's face looks like when it goes, "oh, fuck."
<@redium> i have never had a condom break on me ever <@redium> maybe the gas-station generic glow in the dark ones break.. but real ones dont <+elf> ...glow in the dark ones...? <+elf> how can you misplace your penis so badly that you need for it to glow? <@redium> its the entertainment factor, not the visibility factor <+elf> i see...
<TAOC> EVILPIE WILL LEAD US INTO A NEW AGE OF ENLIGHTMENT AND PEACE <TAOC> somebody ban him
<vqhmdragn> rawk! <S4murai> exactly <vqhmdragn> twat I cunt hear you I must have a ear infucktion, plz cum closer <S4murai> I too have an ear infucktion butits ok, I have a pill to take every half whore <vqhmdragn> I'm afriad I cunt afwhored such a pill :( S4murai> a little less expenisive is a small prick to your finger. Tit's the Doctwhore's bill that'll clit you in the end. <vqhmdragn> so twats up s4murai? <S4murai> nut much, you? <vqhmdragn> just chillin out <vqhmdragn> wait, it's midnut, I just turned 18, that's twats up <S4murai> really? that's ballsome! <vqhmdragn> yea now I can buy cigs legaly, I cuntent bewhore
<Moogboy> That Quotes page is retarted <Moogboy> Do you know how much of them are most likely completely fake? <WeslyC> I hear ya man <WeslyC> This is one of 'em. <Moogboy> O_o
<evilpie> P.S. oblique, since both you and your girlfriend live with your parents, how in the fuck do you manage to bang her? <jre> It wasn't so much of a bang as a dull thud."
<RikisuuDelta> i'm glad my parents dont play quake, they'd frag my ass and tell me it's dinner time
<Jon-> they need to put some quality warez and movies on microsoft.com <Jon-> i get about 800k a sec from them
<EnemyFC> can you feel the love i'm excreting from my pores? <Cobra> I'm just glad you aren't excreting it from other places o_O
<Dante> Removing the HD isn't a good idea. No guarantee I can put it back in...And no she has no idea where my pr0n is (Stashed at my grandmother's next door)
<Chrizto> one day someone on this channel will die and their last words will be construed as irc laughter from their head slapping the keyboard on the way down.
<catlike> SQUIRRELS TRY TO COPULATE ON MY BALCONY <Dayv> You're just jealous. <Dayv> You wish Chris was daring enough to copulate with you on the balcony. <Dayv> But he is too busy reading nanog.
<SiZZuRp> what has 7 balls and screws old ladies? <Chibi-Trunks> iunno <SiZZuRp> the lottery
<b00m> i once got a virus that opened and shut my cd drive and i was like wtf... i ended up taping it shut until i wiped my computer
<Mew49> shutup broadband bastard <joober> i dont have broad band <joober> i have cable
<UKchaos> most semen swallowed: michelle monhan had 1.7 pints puimped out of here stomach in La july 1991.
<sweet_chick> hey peeps wuts happen <SiZZuRp> sweet love by a fire <SiZZuRp> with goats and other various wildlife <sweet_chick> awwwwwwwww hot sweet
<neo-fs> does anyone have aim <neo-fs> for the life of me i cant change my fucking password <neo-fs> and its about to fucking piss me the fuck off <gilma> my aim is good <kryonik> my aim is good <kryonik> when im whackin it <kryonik> into some chicks mouth <neo-fs> @_@ <neo-fs> your aim is weird
[msg.argvee(~flop@adsl-216-103-210-51.dsl.snfc21.pacbell.net)] ok whoever made ircii interfac ewas clearly not considering drunk people when doing i
<tober> I actually did the math once, and it's improbable that a million monkeys with a million typewriters (one typewriter per monkey) that all type at the rate of a good typist 24/365 would ever produce the collected works of shakespeare before the heat death of the universe. So there.
[markel(markel@i.got.shelled.at.shellyeah.org)] do you think if you walked down the street wearing a #unixhelp shirt, someone would eventually kick your ass?
<rixon> I remember calling BBS's on my party line. <rixon> my neighbors house burned down, and they couldnt call the FD cause we were online. <rixon> 3 ppl died. <rixon> that sucked.
<demit> oh my confidence in pac bell hosting is SO high.. quote from support guy about the pop server disconnecting ONE of 32 users here 'well sir your tcip session is your internet connection, it has nothing to do with our servers'
<Xney> how goes the job search? <Stemish> xeeneee....it'll go, once i start it :) <Xney> oh you haven't started? <Stemish> not seriously, i'm not hurting yet <Xney> brian: You should start way early.. it's quite ugly :) <fouts> no shit. one company i applied to went out of business between posting the ad and my email to them