<Christoph> Wuff will you tell Sara I'm not talking to her? -.- <turns> <Wuffypie> Sara, I'm to tell you something that you just heard Mind say anyway
<Tarage> I hate to update to things, they always make it worse <@Ixnorp> you're too pessimistic. I bet that if you jumped off a building you would expect to land in a truck full of pillows <anorexic_poodle> wouldnt that make it optimistic <@Ixnorp> no, because he would have failed to kill himself
<InvalidUser> Its like my Uncle Eric used to say, he'd say... "IU, lookit the ass on that guy" To which I'd reply, "I'm not gay Eric", and he'd say "Oh yeah, sorry bout that" and we'd laugh and laugh. Then he'd try to molest me.
<Spike> You know what I want to do? I want to go on eBay and buy all the souvenier pieces of the Berlin wall, then reconstruct it along the Mexican border
<Super_User_2> the very first time I practiced driving I scared the shit out of my dad. It was a manual transmission truck. I had it in first and tired to shift, but the timing on the clutch was fucked up and it just spun, but the pedal was lighter then I thought and I floored it. The truck sounded like it was doing 90 and my nervous laugh sounded maniacal. He just screamed "NOOOOOOOOOO!" as we moved about 1/2 mile an hour... he drove home.
<@puto|^_...> i went in the restroom to take a piss <@puto|^_...> then my fucking shorts snuck out of my reach <@puto|^_...> and fuckign snapped my penis up while pissing <@puto|^_...> fuckign pissed everywhere and on myself
< cygnus` > this girl broke up with me once < cygnus` > becuase i was sucking her tit < cygnus` > and i said it was to try and get milk to come out < cygnus` > and i started laughing like a retard
<@brosie > you know what sucks <@brosie > when you shave your ballsack <@brosie > and then get diarrhea <@brosie > and some of the poo gets in a cut you didn't know was there <@brosie > and you get gangrene <@brosie > in your nuts
<pres589> Chuffy, were you there? <ChuffyCow> pres589: yeah man <ChuffyCow> pres589: I was there <pres589> ChuffyCow: oh man, Charlie was everywhere, in the trees, talking about Richard Stallman, it was visious <pres589> or was that a LUG meeting I went to <pres589> same thing, it was fucked up <ChuffyCow> I don't remember <ChuffyCow> but we killed 'em all <pres589> fuck yeah we did <ChuffyCow> every last one of those GNUook motherfuckers <pres589> LOL
(Pixie_Pete): Care to join me in a little sven co-op? * ssmmdd fires up Sven (Dogsdinner): That's quite possibly the most homoerotic thing ever said in #TPNGC.
(+AeroBob): Ooh! New saying. "A Werthers Original is like anal sex..." (@Pixie|3554Y): They're both given by grandad? :O (+AeroBob): And, of course, both are best served hard.
(Louhi): mind u, I'm called "whats wrong with Cock teasers?" (Pixie_Pete): Are they like malteasers? * Waller buys a box of Cock teasers for Mother's Day as his mother's present
<herk> wait'll i put out my hip hop album <chrissyb0> i can see it now <chrissyb0> "Im herschel i get all the bitches i want, i can make a webpage with any font
<magoo> herk knows all about liquid saftey <herkit> i know where to buy new keyboards
<Raize> http://www.geekissues.org/quotes/?top <Raize> I got quoted in the top 50 IRC quotes of all time <jaguar> !quote <jaguar> !add quote <jaguar> how do u add!
<MissTika> how have you been? <Sage> Good, good. And you? <MissTika> oksy I guess, had a falling out with two of my " best" friends but other then that heh <Ne0_Rat> Tika has been arguing with her boobs again.
<SporkPrez> largo, whats it like being net-famous? <asr> whats net-famous? <largo[mt]> net-famous is when you get the all drawbacks of having computer geek fans who know about you, without any of the benefits. <asr> like groupies? <largo[mt]> no, you get those, but the rank smell takes awhile to get used to. <SporkPrez> like when you mix bleach and ammonia? <largo[mt]> I wish it were that pleasant.
<Wi|d-Ride> I'm madder than a 3 legged dog trying to hide a turd on a frozen pond.
<SpunOne> To The Taliban: <SpunOne> Give US Osama Bin Laden or we'll send your women to college. <nersh> To the US: <nersh> Leave us alone or we, the Taliban authorities would not hesitate to cut off America's supply of convenience store managers.
<Zarzig> If i had a cup of liquid nitrogen right now, i would drink it. <Zarzig> Granted my stomach would solidify and i would die in a matter of seconds... <Zarzig> but at least my underwear woulden't be so sweaty...
<CrazyLich> GET IN MAH PANTS <_Mantis_> ok <_Mantis_> but get out of my parking spot <_Mantis_> I dont care if its "your corner"
InVerSeX: I scanned my penis in a flatbed scanner once. The Spunn: did it hurt? InVerSeX: No, I didn't close the lid. InVerSeX: It was only a 14" scanner. The Spunn: Ah, so you couldn't scan the whole thing. InVerSeX: Exactly. The Spunn: I had to fold mine in half to fit it all on the 14" scanner, that's the part that hurt the most. InVerSeX: Well, I scanned mine limp and then used photoshop to get a stiffy.
<Fustard> i dont understand this commercial <Fustard> "SOBE YOURSELF" <Fustard> WHY WONT THE GOD DAMN DOOR OPEN <orion> because that guy was in sandlot <orion> and his career sucks so much even cold storage doors won't open for him
<L33t_Hax0r[no_job]> hey, i (illegdibly) wrote a pretty damn good essay in class today, with no grammarical/spelling errors to be seen <Mr_X> CHOKE ON YOUR LIES <L33t_Hax0r[no_job]> Mr_X : when i type i fucking spell and wahtever all fucking bad cuz i dont give a fuck' <Mr_X> ...
<Zuwadza> "When all you've got is a penis, everything looks like an anus." - Japanese proverb
(@MpTaNk) today, somthing on TV was going in slow motion, and my first reaction was "Damnit, the tv is lagging"
<@AniDean> THIS FREAK NAMED NICKSERV KEEPS ASKING ME FOR MY PASSWORD <+darkmind> Report him :x <+darkmind> Or try to flood him off
<Swamp|haircut> omg @ big breasted hairdressers *** Swamp|haircut is now known as Swamp <Swamp> whenever she leaned over it looked like i was wearing a mickey mouse hat
<Rammie> how do I change my quit message <EileenB> type /quit message *** Rammie has quit IRC (message) <EileenB> :D
<jablowme> why do some people associate nerds with small cocks? <Jonny-TD> so girls wont like nerds.....duh <jablowme> those fucking fags.
<evn|z> Anyone who feels like sending me GTA3? <Zappha> no <dkcp> You can download it from www.iamaretard.com/GTA3 <evn|z> Thx... <evn|z> ... <evn|z> asshole
<PreZ> u'd think I'd dream about britney spears, or christina ricci, or something <PreZ> but nooooo <PreZ> I dream I'm on IRC in #aussies <PreZ> *sigh* <goombah> wake up prez.. your having a hard disk crash
<Mae|str0m> fuckensonofabitchdamnitalltohellfuckmedeadbastardofaprick. <Mae|str0m> I just dropped a weight on my foot. <Mae|str0m> FUCK. <Mae|str0m> they should make those things lighter.
<blue-elf> IRC Weather: Partly laggy with an 80% chance of netsplits.Expect some afternoon smurf attacks coupled with windbags from the east.
<Journey> I get, from the reactions of the world to our policies, that it doesn't matter what the hell we do--we're always the bad guy. So fuck everybody else. <RedFox> You've been a chanop before, haven't you?
<Aiee> That statement is either so deep it would take a lifetime to fully comprehend every particle of its meaning, or it is a load of absolute tosh. Which is it, I wonder?
<Peter> Scooby-doo. Reason enough to *never* get your pets high, especially on weed.
<Vang> No matter how dead one is, it's still demoralizing to see one's crotch get hurled explosively across a warehouse.
<Seros> Did you get my hat back? <Spleen> what kinda question is that? <Seros> An easy one?
<outlaws> that's so gay <joyrekz> speaking of gay <joyrekz> i watched the gay pride parade on tv just to see some lesbians, is that wrong of me? <outlaws> nope
<Dryzzid{SAS}> OOOOOW
<Dryzzid{SAS}> I just sat on my nuts :(
* Jaedra stares at Dryzz
<Jaedra> dude...
<Dryzzid{SAS}> What? I sat down the wrong way..
<Dryzzid{SAS}> I crushed one :(
<Dryzzid{Nap}> So I wonder...do people in France, England,
etc. measure their penises in the metric system?
<perianwyr> LET'S LOOK UP SOME UK GAY PORN AND FIND OUT
<GreyPawn> My friend Dan once woke up screaming because his nuts got twisted around each other.
Lara: I wonder if something scary will happen if I rotate my Everglide 180 degrees *** Joins: Twitch (none@12-218-101-151.client.mchsi.com) Lara: |\O_o/| * Lara rotates it back