hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21112 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#9111 [ + | - ] 514
<ChuffyCow> pr0n heals all wounds
<ChuffyCow> except cuts on the penis.
#9106 [ + | - ] 340
<axial> Which are the best PDAs these days?
<Chibby> when girls are kissing guys in the stairwell at
school
<Chibby> i think
<Chibby> i have no clue
<Chibby> why do you ask something like that?
<Quinn> That was a really bad one.
<Chibby> well whats a good PDA then?
<axial> ..huh?
<Chibby> you said: "what's the best public display of
affection?"
<Chibby> i attempted to answer it
<Quinn> I think ax was meaning personal digital assistant.
<Chibby> OMFG
: Chibby slaps myself
<Chibby> k bye~
<Quinn> I thought you were joking, heh.
<Chibby> persocon is the best PDA then
#9103 [ + | - ] 770
<vmob_babe> french is a beautiful language.
<agent_rot> i dont like it
<vmob_babe> why is that?
<agent_rot> cuz i dont like words like 'bourdoeux' or whatever
are "bordo"
<vmob_babe> hmm.
<agent_rot> theyre just trying to cheat at scrabble i tell
you!
#9102 [ + | - ] 251
* Gygaxis breaks a carrier pigeon in half and removes a
cryptic message from inside, along with his lucky lotto
numbers
#9101 [ + | - ] 538
<Hiryuu> "War, the musical!"
<Ten> "With Sean Connery as Iraq!"
#9100 [ + | - ] 227
* Ryo curses his swiss-cheese memory
* Grue curses his fondue memory. It's all melty and stuff.
o_o;
#9099 [ + | - ] 53
<UTF-Xanieth> damnit
<UTF-Xanieth> im gonna have to lube up this space bar
<UTF-Low_on_Life> :o
<UTF-Xanieth> EmptyStare, you got some of that astrolube your
bro uses?
#9095 [ + | - ] 152
<cams> eewwww
<cams> my mom got that easy squirt shit
<cams> purple ketchup
<nzc> now you can be flaming while you eat, too.
#9092 [ + | - ] 229
<Cassius> erm
<Cassius> why does the gurl in final fantasy look so much more
real than the others?
<JtHMx> so you can fap over her
<bleetz> cause then she'll make little boys more aroused.
<bleetz> and they'll buy the game
<bleetz> or.. much better put.. by jt..
* JtHMx bows
#9091 [ + | - ] 157
<Nomel> i'll have to bring it over later today...we can go for
a ride...
<Nomel> its funny stopping fast in front of people...cause
there like..oh shit...its a pinto...its gunna blow....but that
only works on old people...
<Nomel> cause the young ones dont know what pintos look
like...
#9085 [ + | - ] 148
<pure_sin> oi!
<pure_sin> i nearly had a heart attack this morning:/
<pure_sin> i thought my computer died on me:~(
<st0w> wow... I'd hate to see what happens when your vibrator
batteries die
#9083 [ + | - ] 168
<[-FeC-]Ca53y> but me and my GF are going to buy a DVD pr0n
<[-FeC-]Ca53y> :)
<PasTe> nice
<[-FeC-]sKratch> lol
<[-FeC-]Ca53y> hell yeah
<[-FeC-]sKratch> special features:  see from the camera in the
guy's urethra
<PasTe> lol
<[-FeC-]Ca53y> nice
<[-FeC-]sKratch> and see from the camera in the other guy's
ass
#9082 [ + | - ] 48
<sprite> jorn, haven't you had a few drinks yet?>
<sprite> sounded like you needed them three hours ago....
<jorn> no drinks yet
<jorn> :(
<jorn> maybe if i drank more, i coudl tipe beddur
#9081 [ + | - ] 7132
Spin: arrrr, pirates of the south west
Spin: thar be large pipes o'bandwith near ye'ol univarsety.
Pirate: yearg, ye may be an ta somethan thar.
Spin: what say ye we pull yonder USB hard disk longside yonder
NMSU puter and begin tha lutin and plunderin.
Pirate: yearg. The master done gaved me a testin machine with
a grand ol CDR.
Pirate: Avast!
Pirate: MP3s off the starboard bow!
Spin: stere clear of ye porn pop ups rollin in from tha east.
Pirate: I have mah trusty Opera browsa to help me fend em off.
Spin: encrypt the data holds, batton down thar security
patches, argh thar be spyware abound.
#9080 [ + | - ] 257
<Umbillical_ED>seems like there's a lot of out of work java
developers
<st0w> yeah
<st0w> that's 'cause everybody is finally realizing....
<st0w> JAVA SUCKS
<Umbillical_ED>y u say dat?
<st0w> because one day... I went to a farm, right?
<st0w> and there was this horse
<st0w> and he had this MASSIVE cock
<st0w> and I looked underneath it
<st0w> and I saw the little Java mascot with it's lips parted
and the majority of the horse's unit inside it's mouth
#9076 [ + | - ] 286
<+violus> fucking figures, the week the modem gives out is the
week I can't spend time with the woman.
<+Pavius> violus, just inflate another one
#9070 [ + | - ] 357
<piccchic4ever> oh boy
<piccchic4ever> listen to some of the email's i got today
<piccchic4ever> Lose weight with hypnosis!!
<piccchic4ever> Get FREE Condoms, Lube, T-shirts and more!
<piccchic4ever> why is tshirts in that sentence?
<GoalMstr22> haha
<GoalMstr22> to wipe yourself with
#9057 [ + | - ] 335
The-ill-man- *beat kicks in*  yo yo  you know i be somkein
some grass, tappin some ass, while rippin on bowls, and hittin
on hoes
-cyanide- ur smoking weed while fucking girls while smoking
weed while trying to pick up girls.. nice rap..
#9045 [ + | - ] 513
<DogDiggity> I've worked here for 5 years.. might get laid off
tommorow and have never jerked off in the bathroom here... BRB
got a mission.
#9043 [ + | - ] 329
<Dayv> I was also raised by women.
<Dayv> Soft mother and wire mother, to be specific.
<Dayv> I chose wire mother.
#9041 [ + | - ] 1236
<phatmike> i want hard boiled eggs
<phatmike> why is that?
<Dayv> Your body is craving extra fat and protein.
<Dayv> Obviously, you are preparing for mitosis.
#9038 [ + | - ] 180
ilsa: well i suppose calculus isn't rocket science and some
people can't do that...
MistrE: calc is nearly rocket science
CuriosCat can do rocket science
CuriosCat: it's easier than calculuc
CuriosCat: caalculus
#9036 [ + | - ] 1372
<DJTodd> Which is gayer? Pokemon or Pro Wrestling?
<LarsC> wrestling.
<Amoeba> Wrestling.
<jt`> wrestling.
<[prone]> wrestling.
#9034 [ + | - ] 365
<ggeyton_hewitt> <_git_> hey folks, what does @ mean in front
of someones nick?
<ggeyton_hewitt> <thorn``> The @ symbol identify's the channel
operators.. Chops have extra commands for control of the room
<ggeyton_hewitt> <_git_> does it mean that persons is a sad
wanker who spends his life on irc, has no real friends, and
prefers to chat on here than in a pub?
<ggeyton_hewitt> it's funny cos it's true
<Syncope> lol
<Syncope> very true
<Syncope> :/
<ggeyton_hewitt> `deop
<Syncope> `deop
#9031 [ + | - ] 569
<DJTodd> My sister in law once asked me if it counted as sex
if she fucked some guy but didn't kiss him.
<DJTodd> She's a real brain.
#9027 [ + | - ] 720
<Syncope> kris's birth certificate was an apology letter from
the abortion clinic
#9026 [ + | - ] 167
<Mr_Ed> I need to get a dishwasher.... but where the fuck will
I find a whore like that
#9022 [ + | - ] 27
<neurotik> huhuhu i think steamed chicken is disgusting but i
wouldn't consider myself steamedchicken-o-phobic
<neurotik> therefore i wouldn't consider myself homophobic
either
#9019 [ + | - ] -80
<hobophobic> one of my biggest aims in life is to break a
wog's cherry
<hobophobic> cos that means i got there before her dirty wog
dad did
#9015 [ + | - ] 308
<ruumis> ahhh, nothing nurtures a productive workplace
enviroment like fresh paint fumes.
<ruumis> I am in flavor country.
#9008 [ + | - ] 190
<mrfy> hmm.  my title choice was questioned
<pembroke> what title did you ask for?
<mrfy> software zymurgist
<mrfy> "I was curious, since 'zymurgist' usually has to do
with the chemical fermentation process in the production of
wine. Perhaps that's a term also used in software, and I
apologize for having second guessed this if that is the case."
#9006 [ + | - ] 309
<midi> I wonder how hard it'd be to piece together clips from
hogan's heroes into a mentos commercial.
#8997 [ + | - ] 172
<ChibiLion> i think girls should have the right to show as
much or as little of their own body as they want..
<EnZeRuMei> so if there any girls in this nice yet weird chan
PLEASE for men's sake DONT EVEN PUT CLOTHES ON ( thongs
allowed ) ( Only pretty girls )
<ChibiLion> thats not what i ment >.<
#8993 [ + | - ] 205
<Tron> damn non-geeks taking over the digital domain!
#8987 [ + | - ] 590
<Mick> bolsh... you are my favourite guy on this channel!
<bolsh> same.
<Mick> HAHA..I MEANT FAVOURITE TO FANTASISE AND WANK OVER!
<bolsh> same.
#8986 [ + | - ] 639
<czg> you're not gary larson
<Nekroe> czg... how the fuck do you know?
<czg> because I'm gary larson
#8984 [ + | - ] 312
<than> the makers of m&ms used to claim they didn't melt in
your hands
<than> which was clearly bollocks
<than> they also melted when I clenched them betwixt my
buttocks
#8983 [ + | - ] 73
<RPG> Grrr
<RPG> Whenever I need someone, they are not to be found.
<scar3crow> i must be around a lot
#8982 [ + | - ] 679
<Fern> dag. some guy in NY hit 19 people with a buick regal. I
wonder if there's some sort of bonus round for that.
#8970 [ + | - ] 220
* Rogue feeds CardO's ass a cracker so he'll stop talking
outta it
#8965 [ + | - ] 463
*** gamingsloop0r is now known as sloop
<@sloop> parents
<@sloop> fs
<@sloop> when u leave home remember this important lesson
<@sloop> on a sunday
<@sloop> when ur not doing anything
<@sloop> phone them
<@sloop> or
<@sloop> they will phone u when ur busy
<@sloop> and expect a 1 hr conversation
<@ronindm> well it is fathers' day
<@sloop> oh shit
<@sloop> brb making a call
#8962 [ + | - ] 320
* hals masturbiert zu: Mudvayne - dig
<shawnporn> is that german?
<hals> it is
<shawnporn> germans masturbate to some weird stuff
#8961 [ + | - ] 266
[T-Doo|art] when you think about evil, what pops up?
[Rosewood] Daikatana
#8960 [ + | - ] 282
[KodiaK] my definition of back up is move all my porn to the E
Drive
#8955 [ + | - ] 435
<RyMon> You see the new heatsinks on thinkgeek?
<Crash> I have one right here... it's so cold against my skin,
I could just put them all over myself and stay cool anywhere!
<RyMon> There's no sink that disipates stupid, man.
#8943 [ + | - ] 250
<Straylight> THIS JUST IN: Never trust your 9 year-old
daughter with a babysitter named "Penishead McMurphy"
<Straylight> you cant trust those Micks
#8942 [ + | - ] 504
<outRider> i bought MoH: AA today... boy, world war II was
easy.
#8940 [ + | - ] 165
«@MegaFrogg» wow... these spammers sure are subtle
«@MegaFrogg» [%] added [GIVE_ME_UR_PUSSY] (*!
*getrjtjty@203.135.12.*) to the Shitlist
#8934 [ + | - ] 196
<@kt> i'm going to put icey hot on my nipples again
<@kt> bye
#8930 [ + | - ] 59
<XvRickH> is an oc3 connection like...2 T3s combined?
<Goetterdaemmerung> 3.
<Goetterdaemmerung> hence oc-"3"
<XvRickH> so could I combine like 2 DSL lines and make
like...an DSL2 or something?