<mrempire> humm <mrempire> -7% burning an iso here <mathew2> now we know why you work for PC World.
<baguette> and it's a pain in the ass <baguette> guys, that is <waffles> You're probably doing it wrong then....
<rg> my f key got fucked once <rg> i tried to tell people to use the shift key and all hell broke loose
<sugar> if superman and batman got into a fight, who would win? <muffins> well, superman wears his undies on the outside...batman wears his on his head <muffins> tough call
<cheesecake> differential equations sedate me. <kg> strange... i usually get turned on by differential equations..
<baguette> hey, anyone know how to find a hamster? <is> set a cat loose <is> the location of the hamster and the location of the cat will converge quickly <is> though it may be difficult to separate them again...
## baguette is away since Mon Sep 10 12:31:41 2001 -- fuck <screampuff> gee, that's not a bad reason to be away...
<Minstrel> OMG! <Minstrel> OMG! <Minstrel> OMG! <Minstrel> Tornado! <Guantlet> better get to the basement mins <Minstrel> bbl, Ima go get stoned and go outside.
<Gabealicious> Will you please yank all these goddamned hairs from my nose??? <JungleMason> You need to go to Sharper Image or something and get a fancy nose-hair cutting gizmo. <Gabealicious> I think so. <JungleMason> Make sure you read the warning label though: "Not safe for most rectums." <Gabealicious> It's a bit late for that.
<JungleMason> There's a hole in my heart that can only be filled by you. <Gabealicious> Have you tried epoxy? <JungleMason> Yes, and the smell reminds me of you. <Gabealicious> Or... maybe some of that spray foam insulation... <JungleMason> I LOVE that shit. <Gabealicious> me too! <JungleMason> Tastes GREAT on a Triscuit. <Gabealicious> Yes ... some folks call it 'ez cheez' <JungleMason> Burger King calls it "Ranch Dip."
[@Gentleman_Junkie] Sure your ass will hurt, but its better than getting pregnant...
<timovgod> why is it that not 10 minutes after they put the straight-jacket on my nuts start to itch?
<DeadsouL> poke <T-Broken\w> *giggle* <T-Broken|w> *giggle* * DeadsouL boots T-Broken\w in the snatch for giggling like a sissy * DeadsouL boots T-Broken|w in the snatch for giggling like a sissy
<helminthes> does anyone else ever notice when you're sex0ring a fat chic it seems like a good idea at the time, but when your done you feel an overwhelming emptiness? <helminthes> no one? <hakan> ... <helminthes> :p
<teste_fly> wish me luck on my date tonihgt guys * aquacavi crosses fingers * dr_rotcod crosses his penises <teste_fly> :0 <aquacavi> the secret is out ladies and gentlemen
<jackal-> someone guess what my cat will type when i drop it on my keyboard <jackal-> hello i'm a very intelligent cat, save me from my cruel master and free me from this prison <jackal-> omg <jackal-> bad cat
<BathTub> isn't that your homepage JtHM? <JtHM> no, mine is www.bathtubsdenofaggotry.com <BathTub> ah yeah that shrine site you made <JtHM> worshipping the gayest man alive
<Ookey> it's the pop ups that I just want to rip out of the computer, and stomp on repeatedly <Ookey> especially when, like the one I just had, the only way to get rid of the 10 or so that you have + ones that are opening every 2-3 secs is to close down all of ie, and loose any pages etc that you have <JtHM> are you going to that 'YES, I AM LOOKING AT GAY PORN' page?
<[Bryan]> cams: Damn I'm ugly man.. how do you hang around me? <cams> i have no idea <cams> it might be my blindness
<teste_fly> "um yes, i'd like to withdraw from life please" <teste_fly> "will that be checking or savings?" <teste_fly> "hmm, i think i just want to cancel my account"
<aversion> i have an idea <aversion> how bout i show you my middle finger and you get offended <aversion> kthxbye
<dr_rotcod> you know its days like these when you say to yourself, 'If I don't become famous, how am I going to kill these people and get away with it?'
<helminthes> haikus are real gay <helminthes> cause they put limitations <helminthes> on syllables used
<StoneCold> AND AFTER OL' STONE COLD IS DONE WITH THE ROCK, HE'S FIXIN TO WHIP HIS WIFE'S ASS!!
<helminthes> what girls have to realize is that every other guy is wrong and i am right
<aversion> i was takin a dump today in the stalls <aversion> and someone stuck their dick through a hole <aversion> i didnt even get to finish
<Doc> hmm.. IE crashed <Doc> but i suppose it was my fault... after all, i did press teh "Back" button <Doc> what was i thinking... <cactoid> you madman <Tippytoes> risktaker <Doc> i like to live on the edge
<Doc> hmm.. AOL has this great new thing where you can chat with your friends online! <Bru> yeah I saw the ad on TV. that would be cool - then I wouldn't have to chat with this bunch of losers and social misfits
<cactoid> you love the Colonel <cactoid> I like KFC chippies <cactoid> and zinger burgers <cactoid> the rest tastes ok while you're eating it but it's just fucking gross greasy fried vermin <Bayls> Yeah, the chips are ace. <Bayls> The actual chicken pieces are shit. <Bayls> You may as well sculpt some lard into a shape the looks like a drumstick, then coat it with butter. Then roll it in lard, then melt fat onto it, then fry it in animal fat, dip it in lard then eat it. <Bayls> I think 10 out of the 11 secrec "herbs and spices" are "lard". <Bayls> Mmmm, making me hungry. Might go get a 21 piece bucket. :) *** Signoff: Bayls
<Dane> i had a nice shave just then <Dane> it turned out really well for mew <Dane> purposely left just enough growth so that i still appear young and "hip" but still sufficiently mature and masculine <cactoid> in other words, gay
<Tippytoes> i have kids in the room <Tippytoes> is it safe to look at? <bark> i don't think they mention any words like CUNT on that page, no <tm> just hide it behind your anal porn
<Chris H> I'm going to marry someone with no eyes and no teeth. <CharlEnie> haha <Zilv3r> LmAo LoL! <Chris H> It isn't THAT funny... do u even know why she <Zilv3r> yeah!! so she doesn't bite you... <CharlEnie> Does that mean u dont know why she shouldn't have eyes? <Zilv3r> no.. wait.. i know i know!!! so she cant see you? <CharlEnie> LoL!
<hakan> I hate it when the girl looks into the camera during a blow job. It totally destroys the fourth wall, which is so very important in a porno flick.
[dodgelap ] fuck [dodgelap ] work didnt put my pay into my account [dodgelap ] wtf is goin on ? * Synoptica thinks of 'Milton' from office space
[arkZZZ ] Hi! I`m having trouble playing a couple of divx-movies.. I only get "No combination of filters could be found to render the stream". Does anyone know what to do? [Synoptica] arkZZZ: download the fkn codec? [arkZZZ ] fkn? where?
<helminthes> omg, i was about to walk into class today but it wasn't until right before i opened the door that i realized i wasn't wearing pants, but i didn't go home i went ahead and dealt with it and lo and behold, there was a test in that class that i hadn't studied for at all. so i jumped out the window and right when i hit the ground my cell phone went off <hakan> yipes <rafeil> yeh <helminthes> and that's how it all started <helminthes> how was your day
<jamesm> is ntpd 4.0.99k23 ok? <tm> yeah, giving remote root is now a documented feature <sisko> laff <jamesm> well, i know the answer now and i'm not telling you cunts
<KKKBitch> im making jason take me out for dinner !!%^&*) <KKKBitch> i have my speech ready for when he walks in the door and all. <Bayls> KK - What's your speech? <KKKBitch> "if you take me out for dinner, i won't give you any of my PMT shit - the end" <KKKBitch> i used to say "if you take me out for dinner, i'll suck your dick" but he soon found that i was lying.
<rafeil> i had a dream i had 3 penis's of varying legnth and
direction
<rafeil> and 2 girls were sucking on them, but they were
sucking on the numb ones. only one had feeling. it was like
the head of the hydra myth
<helminthes> no.. not the numb ones.. oh god no.. {wakes up
violently in cold sweat}
<aquacavi> well what if i told you i was pregnant <helminthes> IS IT MINE?!?! <aquacavi> yours or the dogs <helminthes> IT'S THE DOG'S <helminthes> IF HE DENIES IT TELL HIM HE CAN'T TALK
<helminthes> hey i have a good pick up line <helminthes> "if you vomit i'm not fucking holding your hair back" <helminthes> "later"
<dr_rotcod> he's an ex marine and i was drunk so i said, "alright marine, kill me with one touch!" <hakan> holy shit. wrong thing to say <dr_rotcod> and all the sudden i was in some weird hold having my shoulder ripped apart <dr_rotcod> and then i fell on the ground laughing/crying <hakan> did it break?? <dr_rotcod> he looked at his hands and went, "oh my god! the demons of the american military have shone through and i am hopeless!! HOPELESS"