<cactoid> pr0n is critical internet infrastructure <cactoid> if pron wasn't flowing freely, ISPs wouldn't need to upgrade their gear and networking vendors would go out of business
<hakan> mine is bent upwards but the base points down <hakan> its like a plant trying to grow to get more sunlight <helminthes> yeah except it's your weiner <hakan> but theres moss on it
<Kaff> how festy are we talking ? <tm> makes your armpits seem like surgical theatres
<Bobski> goconnect. the internet equivalent of the dole. <jamesm> what is it? <Bobski> a freebie internet service for those who blew their last 5 bucks on mcdonalds <jamesm> how do they make money? <Bobski> you install a wanky dialer and it spatters your screen with ads. mostly mcdonalds ads actually :) <jamesm> in case you find another fiver
<tm> hmm, our call centre manager just asked how do i turn off capslock <Zaph0d> tm: Ctrl-Alt-DEl <tm> she's crying on her keyboard now
<dr_rotcod> and you.. you'll be doing something stupid <dr_rotcod> like skateboarding
<Kaff> Pumpkin: The art of eating a girl out while she's on the shitter. <Kaff> how is that a pumpkin <mmm> gross <Kaff> how is that normal. <Kaff> who does that <Kaff> I WANT NAMES <Kaff> (and numbers)
<esthar> man this guy DEFINITELY ripped me off with beer the other night <esthar> he made me pay the same amount for a six pack that i could get a 12 pack for <helminthes> you better watch out.. next thing you know he'll wipe out your family and steal your identity
<Kaff> its saturday night. what are you doing here <Kaff> i thought you'd have too much of a social life. <spoob> Parts of me love interacting with other parts of me, but as a whole, I'm about as popular and loved as jamesm <Kaff> oh. so you're a dead shit. <spoob> Succinct, cruel, and accurate
<cactoid> you're all gay <cactoid> and those of you who are married, everyone knows it's a marriage of convenience
<helminthes> was the party cool? <helminthes> like did you fuck any hoes <rafeil> heh, no hoes <helminthes> not even one? i mean at least one right <rafeil> i just drank a little and talked <helminthes> fucked her right in the face right <rafeil> yeah <helminthes> she was gagging out all your children just like a bitch
<tm> meetings, the alternative to work <Dane> meetings, the PRACTICAL alternative to work <Rushn> Masterbation, the FUN alternative to work
<sisko> I want to crawl up into the place I once was. <mandi> the end of your dad's cock?
<helminthes> and the little basket at the counter says tips, so you hock a big loogie in it and then you realize what you did and say, "oh shit i'm dyslexic"
<sisko> Q. What's the height of conceit? <sisko> A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name. <mmm> i do that <mmm> "oh god"
<PsykoFaerie> everyone got into discussions about how i must have an eating disorder. :| <monk[e]> psyko, if you throw up right after eathing... intentionaly... you have an eating disorder <Aelhaeran> Pysko: and if your prone to sharp, stabbing pains in your eye after a meal, chances are you have a fork lodged in it.
<helminthes> that's like one of those dennis miller jokes.. no one gets it, no one cares then everyone forgets about it and an afghan woman dies of heatstroke
<helminthes> hey i had a vision today of some fat old man with
a dog sitting on campus and he goes, "hey, pet my dog" and i
say, "heh no thanks i gotta go to class." "but the dog's cute,
look at him." "no man, see ya" "DOG HATER!!! DOG HATER!! HE
JUST HIT MY DOG IN THE FACE" {i run away}
<undrewb> I'm gonna make my thesis opensource so developers all round the world can work on it for me
<jamesm> what's a java strategy? <undrewb> jamesm : its a paradigm shift to e-leverage your legacy OLTP system to implement pervasive business systems <jamesm> is it like a builder with a 'brick strategy' ?
<Ryk> after the man has shot his wad is the perfect time for the woman to vacate the room and quietly catch up on a bit of beaver bashing in the privacy of the kitchen. <Tippytoes> shouldn't she have a satisfied afterglow? <Ryk> she can glow when my dinner's ready.
<Rafeil> wimberly! <Rafeil> wesely wimberly. the joke was if kim married him her name would be kimberly wimberly
<Mandi> kaff still looking at dicks? <Kaff> nah sharks <Mandi> same diff <jamesn> cocks with teef <Kaff> yeah they all make you bleed in the end
<Punk-In-Drublic> THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE SUCK COCK ...Mousey, Dave, Vas, Belindah..........YALL CAN GAT FUCKED COS IM DRUNK WOOOOOOOOO ......BOOBIES WOOOOOOOOOO' <Mousey> why am i first <Mousey> thats really insulting <vas-deferens> because your the best at iut <mk4> why am i second ? <vas-deferens> shit im third <vas-deferens> i better work on my technique <vas-deferens> at least im beating a chick <Mousey> hahahah
<thrase> i hate programming <thrase> why couldn't i be a rock star <undrewb> cause you have the charisma of a programmer * Mandi chortles <undrewb> and the programming skills of a rockstar :)
<Pat> i had to go to hospital after because of complications <Bleve> Pat was very complicated, they removed his arsehole by mistake <Mandi> heh <Bru> what's that in the middle of his face then??
<Dac> ok, what does 'LUG' on a rental property listing mean? <tm> Lots of Ugly Guys
<Mousey> haha quarter chicken from mcdonalds <mk4> whats quarter chicken ? <mk4> like a quater pounder ? <Punk-In-Drublic> well its not quiet a halfd of a chicken dave
<Tippytoes> somewhere in the world, there has to be some chicks that ride motorbikes who are tomboys who also do x-stitch <sisko> probably <sisko> that's what women's correctional facilities are for
<Tippytoes> i got a cute winnie the pooh keyring for my bike today <Tippytoes> he's cuddling piglet <undrewb> aww thats nice <undrewb> uh <undrewb> thats not cuddling <Tippytoes> or slipping him the pork sword <Tippytoes> oh well <undrewb> THATS ILLEGAL IN TASMANIA <Tippytoes> piglet's happy <Tippytoes> he's smiling <jamesn> piglet is a bitch <Tippytoes> or it could be a wince
<undrewb> you know max, while the paralympics were very inspiring, you shouldnt let them delude you into thihnking all retards can achieve the impossible :)
<MMouse> finding me a CIO or CTO position is harder <undrewb> heh <jamesn> *laugh* <jamesn> your going for upper management jobs? <MMouse> of course ;) <jamesn> you cant even get a bill paid on time:) <MMouse> that actually makes me more suited for upper management
<Ryk> one of my favourite pastimes spotting boobjob scars. <Ryk> nothing sexual about it. just like to beat the airbrush.
<sisko> did you castrate jason for hiding the pron? <Kaff> no. that would defeat the purpose. <sisko> suppose so. <Kaff> i just shook my fist a lot and said "grr" <sisko> haha. and I suppose he was utterly intimidated <Kaff> like a good husband, he's suitably scared of me. <Kaff> he's seen me naked.
<Doc> ok... kitchens clean, bathrooms clean <Doc> thats the two easiest to clean rooms of the house done... <cactoid> is that because you always eat out and you never shower?
<cactoid> my god, the new lara croft has enormous gonzagas <cactoid> i wonder if she goes for overweight australian it professionals
<Medrawt> I almost always get laid when I've given up looking for a root. Fact. <Medrawt> I think girls can smell desperation <drewb> no, they can smell your cheap aftershave <drewb> when you stop wearing the shit aftershave, they can tolerate you <Medrawt> No they can't, I wear none <thrase> If you weren't such an arrogant git drewb, you'd probably pass as funny * Medrawt relies on pheremones <drewb> if you werent such a fuck up thrase, youd probably pass as human
<Ag3ntOrangE> I like that one song by Alice Deejay... <Ag3ntOrangE> except for the part that goes: "Do you think your better off alone?"
<DjShoryu> one time my friend got so drunk he thought legos were candy <buttonsDIE> you mean like he ate them? <DjShoryu> no, hes an artist <DjShoryu> he built an apple , then ate it
<Nex> Damn it I feel ill since I told that window cleaner bloke I didnt want to buy any cleaning fluid <Nex> I bet he was a gypo and now I am cursed
<RaedonWolf> the shortest day of the year is the 8th of december, the longest day is xmas with your relatives
<[Phoenix]> My keyboard is gay? <Howdy> yes, but thats no reason to feel uncomfortable.. a gay keyboard can touch your digits and it not be sexual
<ChuffyCow> Norman Virus Defense -- a fat geek sits on your computer, and spills donuts and coke on your computer, "disinfecting it"