hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21142 Approved Quotes | 1 in Moderation Queue
#7814 [ + | - ] 1023
<[atticus]> My parents think I'm nuts. I sit on my computer
most evenings laughing at the monitor. :)
<[atticus]> Then I turn it on and come here. :)
#7813 [ + | - ] 500
* TPEGrunge is away: -(be back in 12 years)- since -(01:54)-
pager -(off)-
* TPEGrunge is back: from -(be back in 12 years)- gone -
(626wks 1day 6secs)-
#7812 [ + | - ] 779
<Allen> what about Hall?
<CactusJac> he died
<Mikey316> he was arrested
<Allen> make up your mind..
<CactusJac> He was arrested for dying.
#7810 [ + | - ] 203
<[SCSI]Zuph> i found it on some japanese site
<[SCSI]Zuph> maybe it will be in japanese
<[SCSI]Zuph> japanese writting looks cool
<[SCSI]anon> doubt it
<[SCSI]Zuph> i'm thinking about going to babel fish, and
translating "Cute japanese girlfriend wanted" then put that on
a shirt
<[SCSI]Zuph> and no one will no what it means
<[SCSI]Zuph> unless their japanese
<[SCSI]Zuph> but they won't respond
<[SCSI]Zuph> unless their cute, and a girl
#7809 [ + | - ] 318
*** ChanServ sets mode: +nto ChanServ
<surfnazi> /msg chanserv addop #channel adminpass nick (or
hostmask)
<]MC[-Penumbriate> thanks for setting it up
<surfnazi> np
*** surfnazi has left #clanmc
<]MC[-Penumbriate> ok whats adminpass?
<]MC[-Impletudable> whats the password?
<]MC[-Valipulent> what's the pass
#7806 [ + | - ] 7
<Eukanuba> what time is it in the usa atm ?
<BludClot> 8:40 - 12:40
<FireFox12> wrong
<FireFox12> its 5:45 in california
<BludClot> oh, I wasn't sure which way the timezones went :P
#7804 [ + | - ] 304
<Affe> haha my mom just got an email from adultcheck that was
supposed to go to my stepdad
<Ouroboros> Busted!
<Affe> she's like "adultcheck? i hate all this spam" and she
clicks on it to delete it, and up comes the preview "dear
william (my stepdad), on such and such a date you ordered...."
<Affe> haha
<Affe> she's all like "asshole"
#7802 [ + | - ] 76
<coma> wank carefully and do not destroy your penis :)
<xetlain> wise words.
<coma> for men with divine penises like us, yes
#7801 [ + | - ] 1035
(PJ) grrr
(PJ) a car alarm is going off
(PJ) OH FOR GOD SHAKES SOMEONE SHOOT THE DAMN CAR
(PJ) fuck
(PJ) its our car
#7800 [ + | - ] 112
(PJ|) someone released a reencoding of it
(PJ|) with alot better quality
(Lan|Work) How do you re-encode something and get better
quality?
#7797 [ + | - ] 450
<Linguica> it would be funny if i got a serious death threat
<Linguica> wtf
<Linguica> wait a minute
<Linguica> <Linguica> it would be funny if i got a serious
death threat
<Linguica> no it wouldnt
#7796 [ + | - ] 958
<Daki> thanks i know
<Azalyn> aww
<Azalyn> *smack*
<Azalyn> your so cute when you get smacked
<Azalyn> *smack*smack*
<Azalyn> awwwww!!!!
<Azalyn> *smack*smack*smack!*smack!!-crack* err, oh shit.. o.o
i think i killed him >.<
*** Daki (gg@sc-66-74-86-145.socal.rr.com) Quit (Read error:
Connection reset by peer)
<Azalyn> O_O
#7795 [ + | - ] 23
<Xiph3r> LIKE HOW CAN YOU TYPE FAG NUGGET CLIT-SAQ WARRIORS OF
DOOM-FAGS WITHOUGH LAUGHING YOUR CLIT-SAQ OFF
#7794 [ + | - ] 785
<RighteousSuicide> I was running around today like a retard
<RighteousSuicide> and I hear a BANG
<RighteousSuicide> i couldn't figure out what it was
<RighteousSuicide> then I noticed I had run into a dumpster
#7790 [ + | - ] 708
<zyrowan> when I have a fiance
<zyrowan> I'm going to get "Will you marry me?" tatooed on the
back of my balls
<zyrowan> and talk her into a rim job
<zyrowan> it'll be soo romantic
#7788 [ + | - ] 336
<slash> masturbation is like tekken 2: after a while your hand
begins to FUCKING hurt, but you keep on going because you're
enjoying yourself too much.
#7787 [ + | - ] 359
<@Avie_work> a word of advice for you guys
<@Avie_work> unless you want to ruin a woman's orgasm, do NOT
shout this just as she is ascending the heavenly mountain: "GO
SPEED, GO!"
#7786 [ + | - ] 184
<nakedpretzel>  The pr()n industry uses interlaced .gif's to
toy with my fragile emotions...
#7783 [ + | - ] 304
<u238|duhasst> pdf's suck for reading on the toilet
#7782 [ + | - ] 1522
<faustwork> she looks good
<chaommm> is she hot?
<faustwork> id bang her
<chaommm> that doesnt mean shit
<faustwork> id bang her with no beer
<chaommm> WOAH
#7781 [ + | - ] 414
<n2d2> i didnt put bon jovi in the playlist
<n2d2> oh my god
<chaobacca> 11:36:54
<chaobacca> Bon Jovi - Bad Medicine
<n2d2> my bon jovi mp3s have become self-aware
#7780 [ + | - ] 742
<DarthN> so.. ana... did she touch your... "railgun"?
<ana_class> dude
<ana_class> seriously stfu
<faustwork> lol
<faustwork> did you shoot plasma?
<DarthN> HAHAHAHA
<DarthN> ROFL
<chaoworky> haha
<DarthN> omg hahaha
<ana_class> are you all in second grade still?
<chaoworky> i think he fisted her with his gauntlet
<DarthN> omg
#7779 [ + | - ] 200
<Booger> http, nntp, ftp. these are all non-cohesive with
end-to-end viewing of good titty pics
<Booger> the new standard:
<u238|duhasst> hehe
<Booger> NTTP: Nice Titty Transfer Protocol
#7778 [ + | - ] 250
<eastwood[i]> get wasted ..come back and get some
<Booger> mmm, some
#7776 [ + | - ] 169
<u238|duhasst> right now if you put me in a round room and
told me to piss in a corner.. my blader would explode
#7775 [ + | - ] 235
<n> the only thing that gets him away from eq is beer
<Doza> at least he hasn't totally sold out
<n> what we need is a helmet we can strap onto him... with
tubes that go down his thoat... and you hook it up to the
puter... and it dispenses beer every time he gets a frag
<n> then he'll play q3
#7774 [ + | - ] 191
<chaowork> dont singe the wenis
<faustwork> yeah, nude bacon cooking is tricky
<chaowork> i hear thats gonna be in the next olympics
<faustwork> you should see how i flip it over
#7772 [ + | - ] 228
<ph^pr0phet> i got kicked in the balls earlier in the summer
<chaowork> ouch
<Booger> hah
<chaowork> by a chick?
<Booger> try to NOT do that
<ph^pr0phet> yea
<ph^pr0phet> heh
<Booger> or wear a nutcup
<chaowork> u need to learn to stand sideways when u hit on em
#7770 [ + | - ] 280
<Hexis> you guys read about the easter egg in mirc?
<Hexis> hold ALT and type "fxfire"
<Destruct> ?
*** Signoff: Destruct (Quit: )
<booger> type /server fxfire instead
<booger> that might work better
*** Signoff: Destruct (Quit: )
#7769 [ + | - ] 677
<n> hi...okay, i know exactly what i want!...you should be
older than myself...larger in stature than me...preferably
Well~Hung..intelligent..cool..funloving..easy going..gentle
with a firm touch..you should just relish the the role of Top
Daddy who takes what he wants!...me: i am Totally shaved and
smooth all over(everywhere!)..soft smooth tanned complexion..i
LOVE wearing sexy little panties and being
playfully~submissive to your advances in an almost femme
manner
<n> lol
<booger> i wonder how she shaves around her own asshole
<booger> thats gotta hurt
<pat> nair?
<booger> what if she gets nair up her ass?
<pat> e-mail her and find out
<n> uhm
<n> thats a he
<booger> OMG
#7767 [ + | - ] 713
<faustwork> the gf wants underwear for xmas
<faustwork> i cant stand going shopping for em tho
<faustwork> i feel like a goon
<faustwork> maybe its because i rub them all on my face
#7766 [ + | - ] 230
*** booger is now known as BROADCAST
* BROADCAST MESSAGE FROM ETG OPS: we all suck here tonight, so
we are going to bounce chanserv a few times then disco
ky-hub-1.etg.sucks.com and force a few netsplits on
zaire-congo-hub-gw.etg.africa.org just because - vd whiz
#7765 [ + | - ] 410
<n> i bet that game is gonna sell huge
<n> just cause people will be like... ah well its only $20
<faz__> well its fun, they deserve it
<anathema> yeah
<Stonefire[i]> now that n opened his mouth, it's gonna tank
<faz__> haha
<anathema> haha
<koko> bahaha
<Stonefire[i]> ya jinx'd it
<faz__> sam sells 6 copies
<n> oh yeah?
<n> well in that case
<n> i bet stonefire will get laid soon
#7764 [ + | - ] 568
<redial> read me the contents of your q3key file and i'll tell
you if the upgrade will work
<faz> my q3key says P00R 4773MP7
#7762 [ + | - ] 243
<TFA|Swoop> I hate being on 14.4..
<n> hah
<chao[i]> ha
<chao[i]> are u kidding
<TFA|Swoop> I can't do anything but talk in irc..
<TFA|Swoop> bored out of my fucking skull
<chao[i]> lets quake swoop
<chao[i]> yeah
<chao[i]> TFA|Swoop was pummelet by chao[i]
<TFA|Swoop> Ok
<TFA|Swoop> I'll start a server.
#7761 [ + | - ] 157
<booger> my two best friends laid off on the same day
<faz`work> your left and right hand on the same day?!
#7760 [ + | - ] 558
<HeXonXonX> I'm beginning to think the Playboy channel isn't
based on reality. I don't see my neighbors running through
sprinklers naked or inviting me over for orgies.
#7758 [ + | - ] 287
<FifthColumn> best place to pick up chicks is at the
orphanage.  those 18 year olds get sent out on their own with
no place to go, usually
<mogismog> they're usually crazy, too, fifth
<mogismog> makes for a good time in bed
#7755 [ + | - ] 906
<psIRE> I had sex once, very tiring
<Mulder> lol
<Snipe> yeh me too.... oh wait no that was the time i
installed linux
#7751 [ + | - ] 352
<X3M`Dodo> |TazHoliO| : If your parents got divorced, would
they still be cousins?
#7749 [ + | - ] 425
<ViViD> Dude I'm still getting 20ms pings!
<RTT> err thats normal
<ViViD> Yeah but I just doubled my upload bandwidth!
<RTT> Yes?
<ViViD> Well why hasn't my ping halfed?
<RTT> Dude doubling your upload bandwidth wont affect your
ping
<ViViD> Shutup you geek
#7748 [ + | - ] 1046
< nutbar> [root@linux!/usr/src/bind] grep "{" named.conf.newer
| wc -l
< nutbar>   19314
< nutbar> [root@linux!/usr/src/bind] grep "}" named.conf.newer
| wc -l
< nutbar>   19313
< nutbar> [root@linux!/usr/src/bind]
< nutbar> great
* nutbar fumes
< nutbar> one fucking missing }
#7734 [ + | - ] 76
<DaemoN_> NOOOOO!!! MY PENIS IS OUT OF CONTROL!!!!!
#7724 [ + | - ] 135
<ChRIs_84> what up people...i just got ps2 today, i wanna know
how to make games...is itthe same way as dc games?
<Turing1> yuo hook up your PS 2 to a Car Battery with jumper
cables, then pop in thegame turn the unit on and  you'll have
the game play evperience of your life...or death
#7723 [ + | - ] -26
<KidHype> i like my pr0n like i like my video games...no story
line needed, just cut to the fucking chase
<KidHype> but i've been jax0ring since you where in diapers ;)
#7719 [ + | - ] 55
* c6 is going to start a radio station
<c6> although the kits are mighty expensive
<Jaykul> lol
<Jaykul> you even have a license?
<[-tOrn-]> Jaykul: hell no
<[-tOrn-]> ;)
<c6> do i ever have a license for anything but driving?
#7718 [ + | - ] 798
<[-tOrn-]> And then today at work I almost cracked up
<[-tOrn-]> "Hey what are the system requirements on this?"
<[-tOrn-]> "Uh, sir..that's a book."
#7717 [ + | - ] 370
<cosmok> what is programming anymore, copy paste copy paste
<cosmok> copy, reorganize, paste, rework, paste
<kez> you missed a bit off the end
<cosmok> ?
<kez> </html>
#7714 [ + | - ] 34
<kez> Jaykul, nice, er, bottom
<kez> er, I mean
<kez> easter?
#7713 [ + | - ] 430
<TonyD> you hatiater
<DamianMor> What on earth is a hatiater?
<TonyD> it's a word I just made up
<TonyD> someone who radiates hate