hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21142 Approved Quotes | 1 in Moderation Queue
#7502 [ + | - ] 14
<miss_tekky_stylez> yeah
<miss_tekky_stylez> asian shits are dope..
<miss_tekky_stylez> like take for instance
<miss_tekky_stylez> when a big log hits the water
<miss_tekky_stylez> it doesn't make the "bloop" noise..
<miss_tekky_stylez> it goes... "You break you buy!"
<miss_tekky_stylez> or "You have dishonord my family!"
#7501 [ + | - ] 125
<dirtynumbangelboy> SCREW HUMANITY LETS DO MORE NITROUS YAY
#7499 [ + | - ] 1396
<paat> I AM FEELING SOMETHING THAT NO EMOTICON CAN DESCRIBE
#7498 [ + | - ] 50
<sort> so would someone on dxm be called detarded?
#7497 [ + | - ] 176
<mild7> its always real nice when you step out of bed and step
into wetness
#7496 [ + | - ] 350
<Aura> oh my god
<Aura> i just passed one of thos adult diaper commercials
<Aura> they are trying to make it look sexy
<Aura> they showed this sexy leg with polished nails
<Aura> going into a diaper
<SkyCriesX> thats canada for you
#7495 [ + | - ] 183
<SkyCriesX> i drooled into my friends eyeball once by mistake
while experiencing a strong nitrous hit
#7494 [ + | - ] 167
<Chrizto> I had too much of this hot sauce last night called
"scorned woman"
#7493 [ + | - ] 1896
<Cerebus> being bi-polar must suck
<Kender> well yes and no
#7490 [ + | - ] 319
<sortof> i slept on a glowstick wrong
#7486 [ + | - ] 293
<hopi> let's talk about my need for once
<hopi> er wrong window
#7485 [ + | - ] 339
<Chrizto> show me a chick worth worrying about after you're
not the one fucking them anymore and I'll show you the value
of the imaginary number i
#7484 [ + | - ] 240
<Chrizto> this unix shit is never going to catch on at this
rate.
#7483 [ + | - ] 230
<Chrizto> 6 irc channels, 7 mailing lists, and not a damn
thing is going on
#7479 [ + | - ] 347
<rlorenzon> ...and that's when i knew she was the one
<wolfnip> how did you know that?
<rlorenzon> because...i lost all my friends.
#7478 [ + | - ] 223
[Demon5] ;p
[far_call] what's that symbol supposed to mean?  "I have a
scar on my cheek and I'm a mouth breather"?
#7477 [ + | - ] 585
* terra begins dousing people in gasoline
<hngkong> Terra, why kill us?
<terra> Shush
<terra> it's perfume
#7476 [ + | - ] 955
* rax humps Arwen`
<Arwen`> rax: down boy!
* rax humps lower
#7475 [ + | - ] 322
<w3nis> this bread smells weird
<w3nis> but tastes fine
<Guilty> Much like a penis
#7473 [ + | - ] 502
<@straylight> ARGH
<@straylight> how can the AIM name "shotbybothsides" be taken?
WHO THE FUCK WOULD TAKE THAT?
<@straylight> ...
<@straylight> other than me?
#7469 [ + | - ] 234
<gage> i drank a beer in the shower today
<christ> dude, you drank a beer in the shower?
<gage> i sho did
<gage> cold beer + hot shower = good
<christ> dude, this is what state OPs is in, we don't have
time to drink a
beer like normal people anymore
#7467 [ + | - ] 208
<tris> all the tech contact email is signed "MFN Corporate
Communications" now
<tris> maybe they are the ones running the routers
<neruaL> that would imply that a) they were running and b)
someone had control
over it
#7466 [ + | - ] 334
<gage> i found a 4x scsi cdrom on the street just now
<gage> i love how often i find hardware on the street
<gage> this was from a mac that looked like it had been beaten
with a
sledgehammer
#7464 [ + | - ] 264
<Poltergeist21> I want to fuck the olsen twins right in the
ass!!
<Poltergeist21> Dude, my balls goin smack smack smack against
their teen asses..yum yum!1
<Charlesowns> Dude, i said that ten years ago!
#7463 [ + | - ] 50
<tris> why did someone stick an altoid in your cd player?
<furyoujin> tris, we were having phun and he got a lil
overexcited
#7461 [ + | - ] 358
<Poltergeist21>I want to fuck the olsen twins right in the
ass!!
<Poltergeist21>Dude, my balls goin smack smack smack against
their teen asses..yum yum!1
<Charlesowns>Dude, i said that ten years ago!
#7459 [ + | - ] 795
<trimp> indd: go smell your mom's panties
<indd> i cant, she threw them at aerosmith.
#7458 [ + | - ] 40
<loathe> CF 5 is way way better
<dev0n> way way better than what? a hand job from your mom?
#7457 [ + | - ] 234
<mp> wanna invest in some mp love coupons?
<dev0n> mp: no. i think my mutual fund will perform better :)
#7456 [ + | - ] 73
Ahmed is now known as ahmed_TOP_GUN
<ahmed_TOP_GUN> oh, hmm, i put in the wrong movie ---
ahmed_TOP_GUN is now known as ahmed_THOMAS_CROWN_AFFAIR
#7455 [ + | - ] 140
<Scire> Yeah well I haven't been IRCing much lately
<E-vangelist> Scire: finally figured out you could masturbate
with your other hand, eh?
#7454 [ + | - ] 212
<rwxr-xr-x> i used to have a g/f who turned out to be world
writable
<rwxr-xr-x> ridable
#7453 [ + | - ] 408
<Kefka_> Rap is for people who need to be influenced by a
culture of uneducated fools who have primary goals of "ballin"
and becoming fly by having a dope ride.
#7452 [ + | - ] 433
*** Now talking in #-[TF]-
*** Topic is '*** Denmark has quit Worldcup (Read error:
Connection reset by England)'
#7450 [ + | - ] 400
<@Bojangle> splurge: This one time, my friend called the cops
for getting a threatning phone call. SO the cops come over to
just see what my friend is like, to judge if he was BSing or
not
<@Bojangle> So they come over, and start chatting my friend
up, they go, "What do you do?" and he's like, "I'm a computer
consultant
<@Bojangle> "Oh yeah, what are ya' working on?" and he's like,
"Oh, some webserver"
<@Bojangle> So then these two cops start talking about how he
should use another server, and how the server he's using
sucks, and how he should set up a database for certain things,
lmao
<@splurge> HAHAHA
<@Bojangle> And my friend's like, "What are you, cops or
computer programmers?" and he's like, "Oh, I just like to play
around in my spare time"
<@Bojangle> It was like something outta Seinfeld
<@splurge> id skullfuck them and leave their corpses in the
backyard
<@Bojangle> Me too
#7449 [ + | - ] 175
<iec|brb> k why are my shoes wet?
<Lucid`> iec - cuz i missed yer cheek....
#7444 [ + | - ] 6243
<Paradox> So, guys, I have some news.
<Paradox> I know I usually don't talk much about stuff unless
it's solid, but this is interesting, and I think you should
know.
<Paradox> I just got an E-mail about an interesting
proposition.
* volsung_ perks up.
<Paradox> Apparently, there are lesbians that want my 'hard
cock.'
* volsung_ flips Paradox the bird.
<volsung_> :)
<Paradox> They want it 'now,' apparently, so the timetable is
somewhat limited.
<volsung_> Are you going to just take their offer as
presented, or is there an opportunity for negotiation?
<Paradox> I'm not sure.
<volsung_> I'm sure your hard cock is in great demand.  An
exclusive deal might not be in your best interest.
<Paradox> Last time I got an offer like this, there were some
catches.
#7443 [ + | - ] 571
<`]{rAzY]`> My penis is so big that when black men look at it,
they say "Hey man, you got a big penis"
<dubdope> krazy... why do you have black men looking at your
penis?
<dubdope> plus krazy.. how do they know what your penis looks
like when they have you bent over?
#7442 [ + | - ] 560
<F|uke> I like to have sex with Enya playing in the background
<F|uke> Enya doesnt mind it either.,....she just sits, watches
and plays
#7439 [ + | - ] 198
<Alpino> why dont the little ray of sunshine come ova here
<PuffTheMagickBongPipe> ova.. something Alpino's sperm will
NEVER see
#7437 [ + | - ] 167
<Loc-Dog> which is probably a good indication that he likes
gaynal sex
<SantaClaws> i'll stick with the bitches part, thanks
<Loc-Dog> SantaClaws: sweet! ahmed's ass was getting loose
anyway
<Loc-Dog> a: you no longer have to play the bitches part....
SantaClaws volunteered
*** SantaClaws curses not thinking before he speaks
#7436 [ + | - ] 284
<DangerousBeauty> do u seeing me giving two fucks?
<Phuser> i see you giving everyone fucks
#7435 [ + | - ] 518
<Owyn> I can't double click on a folder to open it.
<Owyn> THat's not a good thing.
<Phuser> keep the chat running man JUST KEEP THE CHAT RUNNING!
*** Owyn has quit IRC (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
<Phuser> damn
* Phuser throws his hands in the air
<Phuser> WHY GOD, WHY?!
#7433 [ + | - ] 413
<Undine> To celebrate football fan twattishness, Birmingham
will once again shut down.
<Undine> Because of the fracas of the last match, twats
climbing onto bus roofs as they waited in traffic.
<Undine> The routes around the major bars will be shut.
* Hawx imagines Birmingham "shutting down"...
<Hawx> Like Christmas lights going off...
<Hawx> "It is now safe to turn off your Birmingham"
#7432 [ + | - ] 806
<Orz> How old are you jennjenn?
<Orz> 12 right?
<jennjenn> 12??
<Orz> Yeah, comes after 13.
<Orz> Idiot.
#7431 [ + | - ] 1038
*** MathAngel has left #vancouver
<Phuser> math angel?
<bv3> wtf is a math angel
<Phuser> that is the worst nick i've ever seen
*** Phuser is now known as SocialStudiesWizard
<SocialStudiesWizard> i damn thee
#7429 [ + | - ] 262
<@a> i should get "butt plug" tattooed on my cock
#7428 [ + | - ] 430
<Phuser> my fan club has a member
<Phuser> my member has a fan club
#7427 [ + | - ] 735
<xetlain> 376 lines of code so far I think
<xetlain> and that took me like 3 hours, lots of yelling, two
packets of cigs, 4 liters of coke, and three wanks to get
done.
#7426 [ + | - ] 519
<glasnost> i was pasting it for everyone else -[
<glasnost> err
<glasnost> =]
<glasnost> fucking sad cyclops instead of happy 2-eyes