<+shagman> man, my ice water tastes like shit this morning <+SuperGayHomo> well don't get it out of the toilet bowl <@shagman> I wonder if it's my ice cubes <@shagman> I'm gonna try the ones from the other tray <@shagman> ahhhhh, much better <@SuperGayHomo> those ones came from the tank
<AlmtyBob> k funny story tiem <AlmtyBob> there's this guy at work <AlmtyBob> and back in the days <AlmtyBob> I would tell people to ask him how fast his dad can run <AlmtyBob> and they would <AlmtyBob> and he'd say, 'dude that's kinda fucked up, my dad lost his legs in a construction accident' <AlmtyBob> and he's a total straight-faced mf, so it got the best reactions from people <AlmtyBob> (it was a joke, his dad was fine) <AlmtyBob> I got this new dealer to do it to him today, he's a supervisor <AlmtyBob> I was talking to my friend later and I told him to go up to this chick and ask the same thing <AlmtyBob> little did he know, her father was murdered a few years back <AlmtyBob> joke's on him! <AlmtyBob> well, you had to be there
<brad-> I wish excite personals were still easy to look through to bag on people with. <brad-> And find hot dates. <LkTruth1> brad- wants to find a mother suitable for his daughter. <LkTruth1> Or a large man. <brad-> A little girl suitable to make another.
<Guilty> I dont kid around with my fat chicks <Guilty> Theres one simple golden rule: No fat chicks. <Guilty> Golden because thats the color of the Golden Arches, the perferred eating place of Fat Chicks
<Ramen> When my penis grows in size at the site of a naked male, then I'll believe I'm gay.
<Carplos-Duck> You just killed 100 innocent civilians, how do you feel? <Pedro> patriotic
<Zeddicus> i like Dungeon Seige, but its not something that hooks me like a good FPS does, or a good RTS <agentM> i like dating games <Zeddicus> i dont <Zeddicus> i always lose
<Ophe|ia`> omg I will NEVER shit that fast again.....my anus is burning *sitting down carefully*
<kidpiglet> is there such a thing as putting a "hit" on a dog <kidpiglet> if so let me know whos avalible to do a "hit" <Ph4nt0m> marinate a steak in antifreeze <kidpiglet> yeah with my luck my hubby would go and cook it for himself <Ph4nt0m> would that be all bad? :)
<highdrow> when you finally get to the end of all the spam <highdrow> it's kind of dissapointing that there isn't more to delete <highdrow> ;
<Lucent-H> who wants pictures of high school cheerleaders that want to do me? <moijkNrg> Lucent: I don't want to see any male cheerleaders
<Cutter> you know whats a trip ? when one of your friends in high school has to do a speech to the class and does it on acid, gets confused and pisses his pants - that owned
<Knighted> JLsoft: when i was flying into toronto, there was a good deal of cloud coverage and visibility was low. so i looked out the window and immediately though "this is like an N64 game"
<Mutiny-> "large explosion in downtown jerusalem, two cats scared, houseplant shaken and dropped onto floor, israelis occupy palestinian owned areas, 12 palestinians dead in retalitory missle attacks"
<Zexion> Jewdass: well thats what I do when I want to get totally wasted... get some GOOD pot and drink a LOT of GOOD vodka <|Ogreboy|> <Zexion> we call those weekdays
<Jewedass> atarax: Find yourself a nice 26 year old woman and pretend she's two 13 year olds
<pdksh> jesus h christ <pdksh> 'i got tired of that screensaver on that other computer so i turned it off' <pdksh> my sister hard-shutdown my bsd box. <pdksh> in the middle of a kernel compile. <pdksh> not to mention that the little blinky light on the hub was annoying her <pdksh> so she pulled out that wire too <pdksh> ... <pdksh> and she managed to rip a wire pair out of the wire. <pdksh> yet she wants to be a cs major in college. <dmaster-> I would beat her into a coma <pdksh> dmaster-: im about to. either that or change her aim password so she jumps off a bridge. <bob354> pdksh: haha a cs major? <pdksh> bob354: yeah... 'i like to surf the internet and chat on aim to all my friends all the time so im good with computers and im good at that microsoft wordart. mom said i should go to computer school like you!'
<@atarax> DrConway: Some kid told me a couple days ago "They just came out with internet 7.0"
<@BitS> LordViper is serious about not playing multiplayer games, he even has sex by himself :/
<blazemore> LITTLETON, Colo. - Colorado officials plan to try a 15-year-old boy as an adult for allegedly offering a Sony PlayStation to have his aunt killed. <FlipTopBx> is it modded?
<tatclass> YOU ALL SUCK DICK <tatclass> er. <tatclass> hi. <andy\code> A common typo. <tatclass> the keys are like right next to each other.
<chinger> My real name is Thoma <chinger> s <LimberDink> Well hello there, Thoma <LimberDink> s
<Guilty> Wasnt there some option you changed last time when DCC kept cutting off? <maff> yeah I reinstalled windows
<Gnuspice> shit, you know you've been doing too much SQL when you're at a prompt and do SELECT * FROM /bin;
<erno> hm. I've lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is.
<django23> I have a stupid question: what does "sendmail" do? <Epesh> django: you're right, that is pretty stupid
* xL is thinking of a book on "100 useless applications of Cat-5 cables" <xL> #1: A windows NT network
<Procyan> is there like 1 person on earth that knows tcl/tk and is writing all of the apps? <unSlider> procyan: no, there are a bunch of people who dont know tcl/tk but are writing apps for it anyway
<@zexion> the ice age VCD sucks ass <@zexion> the guy was jerking off while filimg the movie or something... <@zexion> and some asshole kept gettng up for popcorn or something... I couldnt watch it after 10 minutes <@zexion> gotta wait for the SVCD <@^101> it brings the theater experince home zex <@zexion> 101: always looking at the bright side of life eh? :)
<DCBastard> wow - either fairlight and deviance have absolutely pathetic suppliers or morrowind has some good copy protection <DCBastard> i think it's absolutely disgusting that you can BUY a game before downloading it
<reuben> somebody keeps jiggling the doorknob on my front door, then running away <reuben> i don't know if i should call the police, or hook up some electricity to the doorknob <cristobal> why don't you put ice on the stairs <cristobal> and heat up the door knob <cristobal> and swing paint buckets down from your two story foyer <cristobal> then a few years later, fade from the public eye.....
<jonathans> the vas deferens is the path from the nuts to the weiner where your breakfast travels
<mofo> s2pid virgin cola commercials. <reuben> i bet it's harder to type "s2pid" than it is to type "stupid" <mofo> s2pid looks cooler and sophisticated though, so :P <reuben> it looks stupid
<langdon> FUCK OFF AND HELP ME <langdon> i mean <langdon> fuck on <langdon> fuck over here and help me
<`rip> ryano is a dick sucker <clay> yes <clay> a social dicksucker <clay> much like the social smoker <clay> he puffs for his homies <`rip> puffs on his homies
<langdon> win2k is tight. <langdon> i added all my warez ftp sites to network neighborhood
<langdon> i put my britney spears doll on my speaker. <langdon> if i get real low to my desk. <langdon> i can see up her skirt!