hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21112 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#3828 [ + | - ] 932
<Sylffor> I prefer "blood-engorged mayonaisse cannon" or
"yogurt slinger"
<nitrifik_> ok. Sylffor knows too many colorful synonyms for
'dick'.
* Sylffor is a homosexual, remember?
<nitrifik_> you being gay is fine.
<nitrifik_> I draw the line at "blood-engorged mayonaisse
cannon".
#3817 [ + | - ] 328
<JackDaiLo> i need to learn how to sing chinese angry music
#3812 [ + | - ] 191
ù MrP- slaps AlterAFK around a bit with his slapping thingy
#3810 [ + | - ] 515
<Scofco> i used to have wet dreams about carmen sandiego
#3809 [ + | - ] 332
<Scofco> whenever I get a hardon
<Scofco> I pass out
<Scofco> well, I actually faint
<Scofco> because the idea of getting laid shocks me
#3807 [ + | - ] 525
[bytraper] they are my family.... I love them like they were
my own, I couldn't part with them for less than $20
#3806 [ + | - ] 325
*** Parts: GiRLiE (~girlie@144.139.91.234)
* Xta-C sets mode: -stupid
#3800 [ + | - ] 341
<JibberJim> what should happen to your webpages if you drop
dead?
<Jumper> is this a trick question ?
#3794 [ + | - ] 672
<kalani> Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is
merely energy condensed into a slow vibration, that we are all
one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is
no such thing as death life is only a dream and we're the
imagination of ourselves...Here's Tom with the weather.
#3792 [ + | - ] 1432
<tomg> I appear to have accidentally learned java
#3791 [ + | - ] 248
<ScumDog> in some ways, I wish I could sit around picking
bananas all day
#3787 [ + | - ] 1406
<Dst> revenge is sweet
<Dst> revenge is a dish best served cold
<Dst> ergo; revenge is ice cream
<Joshua> peanut butter is good, boobies are good, therefore
boobies are peanut butter
<Dst> i like your twisted logic there
<Joshua> i like boobies.
#3784 [ + | - ] 551
<Joshua> funny how sodomy and clowns are linked in my head...
i'd better not investigate that any further...
#3783 [ + | - ] 520
(acidxxx) phone sex isnt expensive
(acidxxx) dial 0 and start talking nasty
(acidxxx) takes them at least 45 seconds before they hang up
on you
(acidxxx) "I wanna take you doggie style in this phone booth
and rub your head in the chewing gum"
#3781 [ + | - ] 340
<@sh0x> in a free society, if you're making your animal happy,
why should it be illegal
#3780 [ + | - ] 402
(nexxai) I just tried to light my smoke, but I forgot to put
it in my mouth, and burnt my nose :(
(nexxai) I lit the lighter, then realized the smoke was still
on the desk
(nexxai) D:
#3779 [ + | - ] 521
<nitrifik_> black chicks scare me :|
<Slant> nitrifik_: There are scary black chicks and then there
are the amazing ones.
<nitrifik_> Slant: yeah, I know, but how often do I actually
see the amazing ones "IRL"?
<nitrifik_> Never!
<Slant> nitrifik_: I'm sorry, once again, where do you live? ;
-)
<nitrifik_> Slant: SWEDEN
#3777 [ + | - ] 239
<[ric]> jeez... why is it the boss always walks in on me when
I am typing
on irc?
<[ric]> oh, yeh.. it's because I am always typing on irc.. :)
#3776 [ + | - ] 319
<bin_Laden> Some English teacher got beaten to death a couple
months ago.
<Morris> hahaha
<Morris> must've given an AP student a B
#3774 [ + | - ] 568
<MrP-> that 40 days and 40 nights movie pisses me off... ohh
can he go 40 days without sex? try 19 years!!!
<ine> i think there is an additional restriction regarding
masturbation as well, MrP-
<kalani> LOL
<SprSamat> hrmm
<MrP-> oh
#3770 [ + | - ] 546
<kolby> man I am getting layed so many times this weekend
<kolby> I don't care how tired my hand gets.
#3768 [ + | - ] -8
<changO-> dude
<changO-> ive had 3 hot sounding bitches call here for the
last 3 days with the wrong number
<changO-> what is this shit
<changO-> next time a bitch calls im gonna tell her to shut
the FUCK UP and shove the phone UP THEIR CUNTT and DIE
#3764 [ + | - ] 379
<ric> tbh, I would like to know why only fat women who have no
chance of scoring with anyone seem to see *me* as their ideal
partner
<tommy_> ditto
<ric> maybe, it's my good looks, my charm, my generosity....
<ric> or perhaps it's my hat of meat... just who knows?
#3763 [ + | - ] 928
<[ric]> as the old joke goes, commodore is so bad a marketing,
if they bought KFC they would rename it "warm dead bird"
#3762 [ + | - ] 65
<[ric]> god, damnit... wished I had never started on that
gothornot.com  ... I'll never get any work done now.
#3761 [ + | - ] 473
<[ric]> although.... dark makeup (check)... peircings
(check)... wearing black (check)... leather & studded
wristbands (check)... mad stare (check)
<[ric]> she has all the hallmarks of a good date if you ask
me... now if we could just add a some mental instability and
bizarre drinking habbits then we have my perfect woman
#3757 [ + | - ] 528
<Xta-C> what's a working efnet server?
<Lord-Data> an oxymoron?
#3756 [ + | - ] 471
<Ad0> I met my gf (which is here as we speak) over IRC
<Wyatt> Ad0: Are you both IRCing side-by-side?
<Ad0> almost
<Ad0> she is in the kitchen with the laptop
#3755 [ + | - ] 234
<tyne> ive tossed around joining places like the peace corp
and green peace and the navy
<tyne> but green peace is too much
<tyne> navy is too hard
<tyne> and peace corp is hard to get into
<tyne> so
<tyne> my final answer is
<tyne> bartender!!
#3753 [ + | - ] 339
<CoMBo> how do you learn new words and puts it in your
everyday talking?
#3752 [ + | - ] 228
<ChewToy> hrm... my girlfriend should be getting off work soon
<ChewToy> i should get really really stoned before she gets
here
<spazzer> actually
<spazzer> chew
<spazzer> i got off your girlfriend this afternoon first
<ChewToy> spazzer she's fucking hot :)
<ChewToy> she puts out!
<spazzer> hence, i said i got off of her first
<ChewToy> she sucks good dick doesnt she?
<spazzer> i was getting close, and she told me to put my
finger in her ass
<ChewToy> she's a manager at a victorias secret
<ChewToy> :>
* KNG_SNK wonders how chew scored that
<dazemobil> he ordered her in the catalog =o
#3751 [ + | - ] 543
<djcrom> TOMORROW IS MY BIRTHDAY
<djcrom> I ACCEPT VISA, MASTERCARD, AND WEED.
#3749 [ + | - ] 272
<Mir> I'm based on a true story
<eldee> mir: what book? kamasutra for homos? :)
<Mir> no....
<Mir> not a book
<Mir> I'm based on the Story of Dave. The guy that was.
<eldee> the guy that was _____? (gay?)
<eldee> bwahahhaa
<boozie> hahaha
<Mir> no
<Mir> the guy that was.   theres no more words, I put the . in
there.
<eldee> dang
<eldee> he's right.
<eldee> punctuation's a bitch
<boozie> poop
#3748 [ + | - ] 932
<tomg> are there any programs that will scan a remote ip to
see if there are any common trojans on it (I want this for
GOOD use :))?
<JibberJim> Does anyone know where I can buy big guns, it's
okay it's for a GOOD use.
<Eibon> I'm looking for anthrax. Anyone know where I can find
some?
#3743 [ + | - ] 265
<Scofco> I have the ass of a homosexual
<Scofco> shame I'm not gay
<Scofco> I'd make a good gay guy
#3737 [ + | - ] 920
<lonelyfig> who here can name all the punk bands that have won
Grammy's?
<Lawd> u2 and umm
<Lawd> fuck thats it
<nXwetrust> u2 punk?.......
<lonelyfig> U2 = not a punk band
<Lawd> yeah they are
<blazemore> hahaha
<lonelyfig> no they arent
<Lawd> they started out as a punk band
<blazemore> michael jackson also started out as a black person
<Lawd> haha wtf :|
#3736 [ + | - ] 202
<Alexander> see, shift, when you said you got a laptop, I
automatically assumed 'dance'
#3734 [ + | - ] 209
<tomg> old, ancient, shouldn't be used, replaced with
something better
<[ric]> yeh, like the excuses I get when I am dumped
#3733 [ + | - ] 59
<[ric]> I need viagra just to go to the toilet.. :)
#3728 [ + | - ] 273
<Slant> I lost $50 to sexual laws in Washington.
<Corranfox> if I have to pay $50 to fuck my girlfriend so be
it
#3726 [ + | - ] 332
<zeepe> swede girls are legendary
<Janus120> can i have one?
<zeepe> well
<zeepe> you have to be young and pretty with a big cock
<Janus120> im 5 inches myself, but im a very good listener
#3723 [ + | - ] 629
<FreshBrew> if i ever get arrested for something serious, 20/
20 and Dateline are going to have a field day with my irc
logs.
#3721 [ + | - ] 354
<boog> paedophilia is okay, as long as the kid is dead
#3720 [ + | - ] 204
<Scofco> old men are hard to seduce
#3719 [ + | - ] 245
<hit_doctor> Man, I had the longest shit today at work. my
legs went numb
#3711 [ + | - ] 468
<ckjesus2k> Jews are so...Jewish
<pyristorm> HEY, no insults on this channel!
#3710 [ + | - ] 136
<Epesh> I wish I was in control of all hiring
<Epesh> for everywhere
<Epesh> McD's would have no labour shortage
#3707 [ + | - ] 280
* taz chills to : [Shonen Knife - Do The Bartman (Simpsons)]
[3:20] [3.05MB/44KHz/128Kbit]
* Jumper chills to : [Your MOM and I.DIVX.XXX.AVI] [45:60]
[560.04MB/44Khz/1024KBit]
#3706 [ + | - ] 224
<+Xta-C> once, dad told me about the birds and the bees
<+Xta-C> i tried to shag a wasp :/
#3705 [ + | - ] 197
<orge> !speedtest
<orge> (_*_) @ 599Mhz
<claws03> at 907Mhz
<hydro-> niggers picking cotton @ 998Mhz
<jestuh> s00p3r 4thl0n runn1ng 4t 1696Mhz
<bos-> >=[ @ 341Mhz
<bradley> jerkin it @ 306Mhz
<DigDug> 207.4 millions of cycles per second :-o