hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21142 Approved Quotes | 1 in Moderation Queue
#3664 [ + | - ] 193
<mappyman> i sent off for a PAL videotape of Captain Jack
<mappyman> still in backorder
<Hiko> heh
<Hiko> how you gonna play a PAL tape?
<mightyflo> just crack it
<mightyflo> www.vhscopyworld.com
#3663 [ + | - ] 37
<TURBOMEAT> gross
<TURBOMEAT> note to self : clean george foreman grille before
making grilled cheese
<Megami> Hmmm.... I think it's time for CC again. XD
<TURBOMEAT> the bread tastes of the fat of 1000 meals
<Megami> Why the hell would you make grilled cheese on an
inclined grill in the first place? O.o;
#3662 [ + | - ] 281
<metroid23> all those dumb bots. they all sit around and make
each other feel comfortable by confirming each others'
decisions. it's like a big self-help group!
#3661 [ + | - ] 265
<Kiteless> anyways, invite only is often a good thing
<Kiteless> unless youre talking about girls of course..
<ScumDog> Kidon's giving you delusions about girls who like
games being 'hot'
<ScumDog> she's a serious rarity - remember that
<mightyflo> sell her on ebay
<Kiteless> 'hot gamer gf'
<mightyflo> LQQK!
#3660 [ + | - ] 301
<FlipTopBox> oooh!  i want a p'zone!
<mightyflo> "we tried spelling 'pizza' and 'calzone' but we
fucked up."
<FlipTopBox> i was thinking more like "we were trying to find
the most annoying name possible."
#3659 [ + | - ] 702
<Mazroth> A girl waved to me once before making out with her
boyfriend, does that count as scoring?
#3658 [ + | - ] 358
* auslandr pokes lint in the eye
<EigenLint> no poking.
* auslandr stabs lint in the eye
<auslandr> better?
#3652 [ + | - ] 599
<blazemore> one time i was camping with a bunch of friends and
me and this girl were sleeping next to each other and we were
both laying on our sides with our asses touching and i
accidentally farted
#3651 [ + | - ] 79
[illz] i could maybe play it off him like 'im just taking my
autistic friend out he's never had a drink before'
#3650 [ + | - ] 276
(@watchy): hey io
(@watchy): i am gonna put up a ebay auction
(@watchy): i'm gonna auction my sperm
(@watchy): haha
*** Quits: watchy (Excess Flood)
(@[IO]): or not
#3649 [ + | - ] 285
<PapaWo|f> any girls care to chat with 17/m/Van/Lamer/zits for
days/hideously overweight/naked right at this moment spanking
off to animal porn? msg me
#3647 [ + | - ] 903
*** Now talking in #funadultchat
<Megumi> i am ready to receive my fun
#3646 [ + | - ] 382
<WhitePony> I want to upgrade my t3 connection to a cable
modem, where do i download the patch?
#3638 [ + | - ] 304
<CoMBo> so for job titles, i should put Wholesale Distributor,
Bookkeeping and ...what goes here
<jube> Village Idiot
#3636 [ + | - ] 102
<kung_fu_mike> its not a fast rmix when all you did was speed
up the bit rate
<kung_fu_mike> oh and degrade the quality
#3635 [ + | - ] 1081
<L0ne_W0lf> I saw a lady at work today putting a credit card
into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. I
inquired as to what she was doing and she said she was
shopping on the Internet, and they asked for a credit card
number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."
#3634 [ + | - ] 254
<tyne> my life consists of 2 things
<tyne> music
<tyne> and debt
#3632 [ + | - ] 167
<tsui-ji> gyl: go into #asian and tell em you are white, have
muscles and drive a nice car and mad chicks will msg you
#3630 [ + | - ] 6850
<blazemore> omg i love this song
<blazemore> Now playing: Unknown Artist - Track 2 @ 128 Kbps.
(0:47/3:24)
<Javi> blazemore:  yeah, that's a bad ass song
#3627 [ + | - ] 116
<Phil> i always have fun when 11 inches is involved
#3625 [ + | - ] 321
<nakke> !dictionary fellatio
<FillyJonk>  2 entries found for fellatio.
<FillyJonk>  fel-la-ti-o (f-l, -sh, f-) n. Oral stimulation of
the penis. [New Latin, from Latin felltus, past participle of
fellre, to suck. See dh(i)- in Indo-European Roots.]
<JibberJim> So billions is spent on making it possible for
people to "chat" across the world, and access dictionary's and
what do you do? - look up dirty words...
#3623 [ + | - ] 179
<fai|ure> pearl must have some cavern pussy if she's wanting
it in the ass everytime
<pearl> i didnt say everytime
<pearl> occasionally is nice :)
<pearl> jd has the nicest thing to say about me usually
<fai|ure> i'm that sensitive type of guy
<fai|ure> ya' know what i'm sayin'
<Ginger> cavernous is not good
<Ginger> cept
<Ginger> for the esophageal capacity
#3622 [ + | - ] -2
<shaun|bbl> I've been smokin my cats shit recently, once you
get over the bad taste, it actually fucks you up good....:P
#3621 [ + | - ] 255
<djcrom> its so hard to create a build in an electro song
without any percussion
<noj> no it isn't
<noj> you puss
<djcrom> ok let me rephrase
<djcrom> its so hard to create a build in an electro song
without any percussion and make it not sound gay
#3620 [ + | - ] 227
<meohmy> at the end of the day its smokers that keep the
hospitals running
#3619 [ + | - ] 446
<FreshBrew> BEAT MY CHILDREN
<kolby> You take that B off and I won't even charge ya.
#3618 [ + | - ] 548
<establish> 16/f/virgin/36c/firmtits/5'9/125 pounds/I like
guys who are short, overweight, not good looking, and who are
really into computers and video games/plus I have genital
warts
#3616 [ + | - ] 652
<azmaveth> man u know that is funny as shit 127.0.0.1 is my
school ip
#3615 [ + | - ] 510
<DeathFist> hey, can u guys stop talking about racism and
shit...its getting old...if you dont like it, then you dont
have to own slaves, its as easy as that...
#3614 [ + | - ] 65
<Waters> I practice safe sex
<Waters> I masterbate with a condom on
#3613 [ + | - ] 534
<SinbadTheSailor> hi hedge...are you on turps?
<Hedge> quite sober actually
<sTar69> sober like, just jammed my penis in the door kinda
sober?
<Hedge> sober like i just got caught shoplifting a dildo kinda
sober
<sTar69> oh THAT kind of sober ;)
<sTar69> i mean err what are you talking about?
#3611 [ + | - ] 255
<sAmEeLl> i smoke dunhills
<aNuBiS-> i assume thats #bearcave lingo for cock
#3610 [ + | - ] 300
<sAmEeLl> canada`s fbi is called RCMP
<sAmEeLl> sounds like a dos attack
#3604 [ + | - ] 395
(snpr^): 1337 = l33t = leet = elite = ghey
#3602 [ + | - ] 514
<Baby-d> I set up a shoutcast last night while I was pretty
wasted, it's fuckin tight though
<SilverJag> I guess
<Baby-d> you guess!?!
<Baby-d> show some more enthusiasim!
<Baby-d> :)
<SilverJag> I cant I have diahreaa
#3600 [ + | - ] 279
<BombScare> hmmm...choices choices, either get dressed and go
get lunch, or sit here and wait for dinner
<BombScare> damn im lazy
#3599 [ + | - ] 297
<xeiro> O_6: what does updating your kernel actaully do
<O_6> xeiro, gets me the chicks
#3597 [ + | - ] 281
<Amanda> Uncle Bud's Catfish is a PRODUCT OF CORPORATE
MONOPOLIES ATTEMPTING TO STEAL OUR CATFISH TRADITION
<Amanda> AND CAPITALIZE ON IT WHILE LOSING THE TRUE VALUE OF
AND LOVE FOR THE FISH
<kisama_> alright
<kisama_> so you're against christmas presents too?
#3594 [ + | - ] 313
<mightyflo> they keep all interesting stuff from entering the
country i live in
<mightyflo> and at the same time, flood it with total crap
<Slant> mightyflo: It's a conspiracy to make us stupid.
<Reo> and it's too late for many of us
#3591 [ + | - ] 277
<Slant> ....
<FutabaAoi> i see your ... and raise you ..
<FutabaAoi> !
<Slant> four baby.
* Slant shoots FutabaAoi for cheating at the '.' table.
#3589 [ + | - ] 343
e l i t e m r p: you think you're so smart cause you go to
"school"
#3588 [ + | - ] 344
*** da-guvnor (~tonto@pc2-stoc4-0-cust224.mid.cable.ntl.com)
Quit (If girls are made of sugar & spice......why do they
taste of fish.)
#3587 [ + | - ] 344
<cheezwiz> anybody know how to have WarCraft 3 run off of a
bnetd server??
<eldee> cheezwiz: yeah
<cheezwiz> eldee
<cheezwiz> really?
<eldee> cheezwiz: yeah! first, become a beta tester. then
they'll give you a serial number you can use. its hella easy
after that. you just hit connect
<cheezwiz> eldee:wow u didn't help at all
<eldee> cheezwiz: cool. mission accomplished
#3584 [ + | - ] 261
MrProgrmmr: I want to encode my sperms DNA with the DeCSS
code, that way when I jack off, I'd be breaking the law
#3582 [ + | - ] 434
<duk0r> Don't forget kids, the faster you download the bigger
your penis is.
#3581 [ + | - ] 254
<Slant> In the process of arguing for chinese food
<Slant> I appear to have slipped my guilt in .. err ..
inability to cook food.
<Slant> If it reaches the complexity of boiling water, I don't
have the attention span.
<Slant> As such, we have had a few vict.. err .. accidents
around the house.
<Slant> So it looks like I'll be eating ramen tonight. Worse,
I'll be eating it carefully monitored.
#3580 [ + | - ] 331
<Slant> Easy way to figure out which episodes Slant likes:
<Slant> for x in StarTrek.Episodes[]
<Slant> if (x.liked_by_everyone)
<Slant> Slant.hates_episode[x] = TRUE;
<Slant> else
<Slant> Slant.likes_episode[x] = FALSE;
<Slant> no wait.
<mightyflo> hahahahahahahaha
<Slant> Slant.hates_episode[x] = FALSE;
<animegoth> lol
<FutabaAoi> so you hate all of tng!
<mightyflo> it's funny when you can debug someone's real life
code
#3579 [ + | - ] 256
<Slant> The problem with having gone this long without
whacking
<Slant> is that I have no quality pr0n in which to celebrate
the occasion
<Slant> that now I can whack
<Slant> and thus I feel the "moment" isn't right
#3578 [ + | - ] 562
<myzery> MIAMI -- An 81-year-old woman who arrived in court
Thursday in a wheelchair plotted to smuggle 9,931 doses of
Ecstasy in her luggage on a flight from London, authorities
said.
<matts> hahah
<[prefix]> haha
<matts> What a doofus
<skycriesx> whered u read that
<myzery> the onion
#3577 [ + | - ] 239
<Corranfox> GF?
<metroid23> you'll get it eventually...
<Corranfox> guitar freaks
<blazemore> it's not like it'd stand for girl friend.. this IS
#bemani after all