hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21112 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#2128 [ + | - ] 538
<stretch> !seen tits
* Trivial_ has never seen tits. Sorry!
#2125 [ + | - ] 431
<matts> memcpy(matts,einstein);
<KrZDG> compilation error cannot convert smart d00d to dumb
ass.
#2123 [ + | - ] 446
<CoderMan> kritical, you are dumber than a dead rock
<matts> dead rock
<matts> umm
<matts> CoderMan news flash
<matts> rocks can't live
<matts> :
#2121 [ + | - ] 620
*** atnnn (atnnn@hv-hs-37-38.aei.ca) has joined #winprog
<atnnn> hi
<atnnn> what is the code for "+" on WM_KEYDOWN
<Wy4tt> VK_RTM
<atnnn> and minus?
<Wy4tt> VK_RTFM
<atnnn> i can't find it
#2119 [ + | - ] 294
<krayons> 95% of the girls at rutgers university in new jersey
<krayons> have stds
<killspree> haha
<killspree> no way
<kara> bullshit man
<killspree> no wonder their basketball and football teams suck
so bad
<krayons> its not bullshit
<VeRrUcKt> lol
<killspree> the players are running around in pain
#2118 [ + | - ] 317
<spazzer> paul is sad because he had a bout of premature
ejaculation
<tobdude> everytime I think of premature ejaculation... I
think like a gun going off without anybody firing it... like
you are walking along... and BAM!@
<tobdude> oh crap! I just ejactulated myself
#2117 [ + | - ] 83
<Tim_K> when you say 6" do you mean 6.00" or the 5.70" rods?
<spazzer> tim
<spazzer> we mean
<spazzer> rods that are 6 inches long
<spazzer> not 6" rods that are 5.7" long
<spazzer> but 6" rods that are 6" long
<Tim_K> spazzer heh.. well.. 6 = 5.7 rounded ;)
#2116 [ + | - ] 65
<opivy-z28> DAMNIT I just puked in my mouth
#2115 [ + | - ] 342
<opivy-z28> I'm being totally serious... do any of you ever
see like a 9-12 yr old girl and think she has nice legs
<opivy-z28> i do...and i wonder if thats normal
#2114 [ + | - ] 95
<opivy-z28> black chix vaginas look like a 10 year old leather
wallet
#2113 [ + | - ] 260
<Tristan> Anyone thinks I should trade my '00 VW Cabrio for
'01 Honda Prelude?
<tigeraid> at least the Prelude has about 90% less homosexual
factor
<Rydawg> tristan, do you like guys?
<Rydawg> how do you shift gears when your wrist is so freakin
limp?
#2112 [ + | - ] 24
<moomba> i heard that a company called nissan was coming with
a Z type thing
<moomba> but that's not out yet
<moomba> it's supposedly really fast but only has 2 seats
#2110 [ + | - ] 629
<RaMTuFF> i like my women like i like my coffee
<RaMTuFF> quiet !
#2109 [ + | - ] 400
<aNuBiS-> i like my women like i like my roads... flat and
well traveled
#2107 [ + | - ] 477
<SPD-DMN> yo theres a fucking swat team on the road accross
from me
<SPD-DMN> im going to check it out
<RockShox> SPD-DMN will be back in 10 to 20
#2106 [ + | - ] 353
<RockShox> girls love attention and irc is some place where
everyone pays attention to them
#2105 [ + | - ] 295
<RockShox> greddy is pretty high quality stuff
<RockShox> i prefer apexi exhausts tho
<ocx> for cars?
<RockShox> no for bicycles
#2104 [ + | - ] 673
<Tim_K> last time I jumped into a convertible.. I nearly got
but-fucked by the gear shifter..
#2102 [ + | - ] 724
<LegendZ28> I remember when I was a kid and I was at my
friends house, my friends big brother ran into the room with a
huge turd in his hand and was like "LOOK HOW HUGE THIS IS!"
#2099 [ + | - ] 952
<ScratGod> I put a comment by each line of code that says
<ScratGod> x = 1;  // FUCK YOU FIGURE IT OUT YOURSELF BITCH
#2098 [ + | - ] 919
<digidug> i love it when geeks take every chance they get to
brag about their hardware
<digidug> so i was lying in my bed and my DUAL ATHLON 2GHZ
SERVER was keeping me awake with its 5 SUPER HIGH THROUGHPUT
FANS so i went downstairs and played a SPECIAL SUPER BETA
VERSION OF QUAKE 3 (FOR WHICH I AM A BETA TESTER) on my
PLEXIGLASS-COVERED TRANSPARENT TOWER WITH FIVE INTEL PENTIUM
4'S RUNNING A CUSTOMIZED VERSION OF LINUX
<digidug> so i didn't get much sleep last night
#2097 [ + | - ] 384
<phlo> i believe i'm going to have to explain to my gf that
you dont put the ashes from the last bowl back into the box
with the rest of the dope
#2096 [ + | - ] 310
(therap|st) IMPERIAL PARKING is seeking a JUNIOR FIELD
AUDITOR. This full time position will require a self starter
who has their own car and analytical mind with an eye for
detail. Interested applicants please fax resume to 943-XXXX
attn: Operations Manager.
(therap|st) would that mean id be the bastard who drives
around and gets people towed?
(Cid-Away) be like "your hawt and illegally parked i think
somthing can be arranged" :)
(Dane_) tow pimp
(Cid-Away) you can tell if someone is hawt by the way tehre
illegally parked
(therap|st) those guys must think im hella hot
(therap|st) cause i park like shit
#2095 [ + | - ] 903
<JDigital> We need our own Dance 4.14 bot.
<JDigital> *Dancer
<MrSede> A dance bot..?
<MrSede> Do a random Kirby dance every few minutes?
<MrSede> ..while telling the weather
<Brentai> <(^_^<) (>^_^)>  It's fucking hot!
<MrSede> Forecast for today will be cloudy [*bust a move*]
with a slight chance of [*booty shakin*] rain
<MrSede> If the weatherman were more like that I'd watch the
News more often
#2094 [ + | - ] 403
<Miss_RPM> they used to say i was named after some chick dad
saw in a dirty magazine..
#2093 [ + | - ] 299
<dr_tril> i wanna be bruce lee
<aNuBiS-> i wanna fuck his tight chinese ass
<ChewToy> ok that's a visual i didn't need anubis
<ChewToy> what is it with you and homosexuals this morning?
<dr_tril> or what is it with him and homosexuals every morning
#2091 [ + | - ] 678
<DMC[mav2]> human/animal hair can be stuffed inside panty hose
and used to suck up oil out from an oil spill
<DMC[mav2]> did you faggots know that
#2090 [ + | - ] 87
<DMC[hi]> where just before you go to bed, you put on a suite
and shit, and look in the mirror and kinda jerk off a little
then, go to sleep?
#2088 [ + | - ] 192
{<DMC[m1ls]>} you might as well shove a giant yellow penis in
to your dishwasher and turn it on then run around your dining
room table 3 times screaming about how your children are going
to be shaped like triangles when they pop out of your wifes
pyramid shaped pussy
#2087 [ + | - ] 392
<DMC[18s]> heater cores look like baby radiators that fell out
of the sky for my enjoyment.. i just wanna give them a hug
they are so cuddly
#2085 [ + | - ] 378
[rancid_mf] wow i need to be a better typer i dont know what
is going on
(|Chris) typist*
[rancid_mf] ok im am idiot too
#2084 [ + | - ] 315
<Sharkey> When you talk to your cactus at the end of the quest
he says "He got hard?"
<kill> at least you wouldn't have to water a cactus
<kill> it's pretty low-maintenance, if you got one
<Starchild> That's my ideal adopted kid. One you don't have to
water or feed.
<kill> you just have to cloth it
<DigiGnome> And you don't even have to do that, as long as you
don't let it out of its room.
#2082 [ + | - ] 728
<Brentai> Michael who?
<TonsOfFun-MasterToSmallGirls> J. Fox, Brent.
<Brentai> Oh, he's only mostly dead.
<Thom> Hutchence. An Australian rock star of little talent.
<Thom> Died having a wank.
<Brentai> Poor guy.
<Thom> Whilst hanging off've the back of a door by his tie.
<DigiGnome> His last words were "OH GOD! I'm COMING!" He never
knew how right he was.
#2081 [ + | - ] 279
<JDigital> How has a white girl got a brown cock? That's just
weird.
<DigiGnome> YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE IT'S BEEN.
#2080 [ + | - ] 87
<kay|oss> i am at work
<epp> hehe.. that's not the worst place to be
<epp> (if there's no airplanes around)
#2074 [ + | - ] 325
<memo> Kazz, do you WANT your dick bit off? Didn't we just
have an in-depth discussion earlier today on why that's not a
good thing?
#2069 [ + | - ] 1079
<Daz-D3> wanna see somethin funny ld?
<LordDeath> No. Please pull your pants back up.
#2068 [ + | - ] 279
* Ashboy notices that solidair has changed his alias
<SolidLand> yes.
<Ashboy> wh00p! l8r.
*** Ashboy has quit IRC (yes)
<SolidLand> never seen a guy so excited about my nick change
#2067 [ + | - ] 615
<tobes> Have fun at work? ;)
<Morbii> not particularly ;)
<Morbii> been back home a few hours tho
<Morbii> anything related to the word "work" isn't fun
generally :P
<Morbii> pornstars may see things differently, but I wouldn't
know
<Morbii> heh!
<tobes> Actually, that would probably get to be a pain in the
ass.
#2065 [ + | - ] 1091
<matts> hal check your privates
<matts> err
<matts> messages
#2062 [ + | - ] 742
<Arsentia> ARRRRRRRGH
<Arsentia> I just lost the fucking picture on my Chem lab!
<Merl> hehehehehe
<Merl> neeeener neeeener ;-)
[Time Passes]
<Merl> FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
<Merl> I just lost my whole fucking ESSAY i wrote this weekend
<Merl> DAMN MS WORD SHIT
<Assasin> wait
<Assasin> Wait a second.
<Assasin> Was it you who was laughing at Arse?
#2061 [ + | - ] 754
<|shark|> if a guy took a home pregnancy test
<|shark|> and it turned out positive
<|shark|> what does that mean?
<Merl> shark.. go see a doctor man ;-)
#2056 [ + | - ] 1293
<Dr_zapp> sek: you find the hex adress?
<Sekmu> yes.
<Dr_zapp> and it is....?
*** Quits: Paco- (irc.best.net *.blackened.com)
*** Quits: Nytefall (irc.best.net *.blackened.com)
*** Quits: PyroGX (irc.best.net *.blackened.com)
*** Quits: liljerk (irc.best.net *.blackened.com)
*** Quits: Karash (irc.best.net *.blackened.com)
*** Quits: _Ender_ (irc.best.net *.blackened.com)
*** Quits: PyroPimp (irc.best.net *.blackened.com)
*** Quits: Sekmu (irc.best.net *.blackened.com)
<Arsentia> This is like when the informer is about to tell the
detective the identity of the murderer, and then he gets shot.
:)
#2053 [ + | - ] 381
<Gwar> u might as well be holding your penis if you're using a
joystick in quake
#2052 [ + | - ] 451
* Arsentia pets his cable modem
* [Toby] fwaps Arsentia. Come to Kansas, the land of tin cups
and string.
* PresWRK cuts Arse's modem
* Arsentia cuts Toby's string
*** Quits: [Toby] (...)
<Arsentia> Hey! It actually worked! :)
<[Toby]> Because of you, I had to retie the string.
<[Toby]> Schmuck.
<[Toby]> :)
#2051 [ + | - ] 268
<Julia_M> Arthur C. Clarke:
<Julia_M> "There is hopeful symbolism in the fact that flags
do not wave in a vacuum."
<Julia_M> you know...space?
<Jeff_R> ya
<Julia_M> there can be no nations that can conquer space! aww
yea it's great
<Jeff_R> I don't believe the whole vacuum thing...I
mean...that would be one big ass Dirt Devil dirt bag to hold
all that stuff in space
#2050 [ + | - ] 99
<B_Spears> Jimmy Buffet? aww
<Slander> Jimmy rocks man
<Ferney> heh
<B_Spears> yeah, in a rocking chair ;)
#2049 [ + | - ] 765
<Ferney> I think the clog is bonged
<Ferney> LOL
<Ferney> whoa...I think the BONG is CLOGGED
#2048 [ + | - ] 317
<Birdzii> i've got this fucked rash all over my body
<Morbii> heh
* Slander takes a step back from birdsigh
<Birdzii> heh
<Birdzii> sore throat + rash
<Morbii maybe you're allergic to masturbation
<Morbii> jkjk ;P
<Birdzii> I would have been dead long ago then
#2047 [ + | - ] 699
<Slander> so what happens to all these trout after they're
used for slapping? are they in a pile somewhere?