hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21112 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#1585 [ + | - ] 2670
<vortex502> 3+5
<vortex502> oops
<vortex502> thought i had the calculator prog. open
#1584 [ + | - ] 235
<Godzi||a> I would suck my own dick too if I could.
<Chrononaut> "you're only gay if you swallow"
<Invictus[A]> you're a fag for even thinkin' about it
#1583 [ + | - ] 391
<no_soul> did you know the testes on blue whales weigh like
400 pounds?
<no_soul> thats a hefty sack
<ecoli> my god.
<no_soul> just a little fun fact for you all
<ecoli> them is some big nuts
<ecoli> did you know that the blue whale's penis is 11 feet
long?
<no_soul> i bet the shoot loads like a fuckin cruise missle
#1582 [ + | - ] 284
<assman2> i hate getting cum on my hand
<assman2> its fucking annoying
<assman2> have to find something to wipe if off on
<mabbz> assman shoots it all over his chest and belly and then
smears it around so he can pretend he's a glazed donut
<assman2> mabbz
<assman2> i cant shoot that far
<mabbz> oh so when you cum it just oozes out into your belly
button?
<hydro> jesus
<assman2> i fucking hate when that happens
<hydro> this is fucking disgusting
<assman2> it happened to me once
#1581 [ + | - ] -6
<n|ghtOUT> my gf can smoke cigarettes with her pussy
#1580 [ + | - ] 429
<no_soul> i snorted Ajax
<no_soul> i almost died
#1579 [ + | - ] 97
<musicandi> do u know who gjmtyj is ?
<riski> No.
<musicandi> he is a tough female hacker who is with cyber
sex..
<musicandi> if she sends u any file do not accept them
#1578 [ + | - ] 9213
<calin> we had a guy at school that wore black lipstick.. and
was all gothy.. and then one day we caught him buying an
assvibrator
<ecoli> ew.
<ecoli> wait, you "caught" him?
<ecoli> like, you were behind him in line at the assvibrator
store?
<Aero> he doesnt answer
*** Quits: calin (No route to host)
#1577 [ + | - ] 308
<ccowboy> @chanserv took over my chat-room!
#1575 [ + | - ] 1320
<CoN> ... next you'll tell me that you shaved your pubes under
the misdirection that i care
<[U|C]SKS_Lover> eh...
<[U|C]SKS_Lover> hey CoN, I shave my pubic hair under the
misdirection that you care.
<CoN> oh thanks
<[U|C]SKS_Lover> then I make socks out of it.
<CoN> ... thats weird
<[U|C]SKS_Lover> human-wool socks
<[U|C]SKS_Lover> >:D
<[U|C]SKS_Lover> wanna know how I make apple juice?
*** CoN has quit IRC
#1574 [ + | - ] 670
<jessafk> ;) your just too smart for me
<tress> you're grammar astounds me
#1573 [ + | - ] 259
<tress> i've erected a level 10 forcefield around my penis
#1570 [ + | - ] 679
<tress> i have no arms
<tress> i have to type by blowing through a straw
<tress> i dropped my straw
#1569 [ + | - ] 1152
<defproc> i made a program that crashed once. i put it in my
resumé and sent it to microsoft.
#1567 [ + | - ] 583
<ckx> i wish i had a gf who was into really cheap things
<ckx> like 5 cent rings from vending machines
<ckx> then i'd be in heaven
<ckx> "yah i got you something today... it's a gumball"
<ckx> "OH WOW LETS FUCK"
<ckx> stupid women
<mdl> haha
#1566 [ + | - ] 410
<Chis_> this problem calls for a trip to #math
#1565 [ + | - ] 723
<metroid23> i ask for whole milk and people look at me like i
wanna suck it right off the cow or something
#1562 [ + | - ] 1491
*** C2H5OH has joined #finalfight
<MightyQuinn> greetings, Mr. Ethanol
<Rico> Mmm... caffeine.
<Squizzle> Wow, one of you failed organic chem.
#1561 [ + | - ] 266
<Zaratustra> Kei is the deity of putting 'in bed' at the end
of fortune cookie messages.
#1557 [ + | - ] 454
<Badforyou> Does anyone know where you can buy large,
exceptionally strong plastic bags, fake dog poo, sulphuric
acid, aroma therapy candles, and a ten pound dead doberman on
the internet?
<freekoala> all but the dead dog on amazon.com i bet
<freekoala> you could put together your 'amazon.com' wishlist
and send it to people. they will wonder about the theme, but
keep them wondering.
#1556 [ + | - ] 535
<@Patilla> hacking is cool
<@Patilla> i saw it done once in a movie
#1555 [ + | - ] 357
<ckx> i'm not gay
<ckx> i just like to see people fuck
<ckx> even if they're guys
#1554 [ + | - ] 734
<ckx> i get a bunch of scrambled porn
<ckx> one time i was jerking off to this channel
<ckx> 102
<ckx> and like then i realized it was two guys
<ckx> cuz 102 was a gay channel
<ckx> 101 was the good hardcore porn
<HomerJ> HAW
<ckx> but by then i was already into it
<ckx> so i didn't change it
#1553 [ + | - ] 703
<ckx> i hate when i find other people's underwear sitting on
my toothbrush in the bathroom
<ckx> i fucking clean my mouth with that thing
<ckx> i don't want no skank ass panties on top of it at 8
fucking am
*** skmt changes topic to '<ckx> i hate when i find other
people's underwear sitting on my toothbrush in th'
<ckx> yah that's pretty funny
<ckx> almost as funny as picking pubic hair out of your teeth
#1552 [ + | - ] 719
<ckx> when i worked at the sub shop
<ckx> whenever a fat person would get a sub and a regular
pepsi
<ckx> i'd be like "umm wouldn't you rather have a diet pepsi?"
<ckx> and they'd get all offended
<skmt> haha
<ckx> but they'd still get the diet pepsi instead
#1547 [ + | - ] 2609
<iMike> i was just thinking of hiring a man to service my
septic system
<maff> is that the classy way to say you want to get fucked in
the ass?
#1546 [ + | - ] 739
(timmo) the average testicle is the size of a walnut.
[maff] the average walnut tastes better than the average
testicle
#1545 [ + | - ] 402
<peng> Guilty and I never had dealings
<Guilty> Remember that time you were lonely and couldnt find
any new Brittney porn
<peng> which time
<Guilty> And I hadnt gotten a haircut in a while so my golden
locks were flowing
<Guilty> And I happen to have a tight red jumpsuit...
<Guilty> And well, you know
#1542 [ + | - ] 153
<Evil_Kneival> I see.
<super`radish> dude
<super`radish> stop with the punctuation
<Evil_Kneival> Why?
<super`radish> because its like putting a rainbow cowboy
sticker on your car bumper
#1541 [ + | - ] 467
<Delusion> I'm reminded of someone I worked with who was about
35 and who dyed a streak of grey in his hair to look
'distinguished'.
<Delusion> Instead, he looked 'gay'.
#1540 [ + | - ] 392
<fastahj7> what's the difference between the usa DC lightgun
and the euro one
<smcn> the usa one has a "shoot up your school" button
#1538 [ + | - ] 567
<vermifuge> dude what the f
<vermifuge> 256 megs kingston for 20 dollars, shipped
<dr\gonzo> FOR LESS THAN A PILL OF ECSTACY YOU CAN HAVE 256MB
OF RAM
#1537 [ + | - ] 81
<qbpsawk> but try saying
<qbpsawk> "ID LIKE TO BUY A FAG" in a bar in america
<qbpsawk> and you see what happens
<qbpsawk> :D
<St-Knight> Well if I was the bartender I'd know to give the
guy a cigarette.
* slow wants to buy a pack of fags
<Rivers> i'd like to burn a pack of fags
#1535 [ + | - ] 804
<JDigital> Speaking of which, did you know that Slashdot.org
just changed its name to Gullible?
<HoJu> Really?
#1534 [ + | - ] 388
<Spin0ut> anubis's nick is cool
<Spin0ut> cuz it contains the words anus and bi
#1532 [ + | - ] -82
<mydgear> wow, im listening to the best of dj premiere
<mydgear> every beat sounds the same
<diagram> kinda like how all blacks look the same
#1529 [ + | - ] 101
<AlexChiu> Brent: Oh yeah.  Well, would you have felt better
if I hadn't told you about it and you got hit with a noxious
stench upon prying off a girl's dry, crusty panties?
#1528 [ + | - ] 630
<JDigital> We used to have this kick ass game when we were
kids....
<VillainSede> Swallow the chlorine tabs?
<VillainSede> that one takes me back..
#1527 [ + | - ] 293
<Geothermal> Jesus, I can only say so many things about fat
people before they become redundant.  I think it would help if
they all flew to their own personal little island made of
gumdrops and then ate themselves to the bottom of the sea like
some kind of Atlantis.  You know, only really fat.
#1525 [ + | - ] 233
(JazzSax) tim likes 8 year old girls
(JazzSax) he looks sooooo big in their hands.
(JazzSax) they like picture books
(tiko) rhonda: Think of me more as a childhood educator.
(dev-) um, I don't think sex ed lessons aren't supposed to be
in the back of a white van
#1524 [ + | - ] 314
(lo^fi) ok who thinks the "burning schoolhouse" that comes in
boxes of fireworks sux ass
(tiko) bill: I do
(dawly) me too :)
(superdave) bill you just have to soak it with gas first
#1523 [ + | - ] 278
<sev> there is no big brother
<sev> just a big pervert
#1522 [ + | - ] 319
<w3nis> people with down syndrome are all "Hey check us out we
have an extra chromosome, weeee, wipe our ass"
#1521 [ + | - ] -459
(br0kerman) leave him alone
(br0kerman) hes more l33t then u
(br0kerman) he deserves +o
(Skizer) no, he can fuck off
(Skizer) he deserves +JEW
(br0kerman) why?
(Skizer) cause he's a faggot
(Skizer) not even +JEW
(br0kerman) hahah
(Skizer) some jew's are cool
(Skizer) he's gay
(Skizer) he deserves +SANFRANCISCO cause he's a flaming faggot
#1520 [ + | - ] 697
<studmuffn> one day i will find a way to implant annoying
songs in other peoples heads
<studmuffn> it will be my supervillian power
#1518 [ + | - ] 217
*** Quits: ZiGgA (Ping timeout: 240 seconds)
<ZiGgA> help me..
<ZiGgA> i think i am being packetted!
<ZiGgA> my receive light is on fulltime!
#1514 [ + | - ] 521
<studmuffn> whenever people talk about ethics the sentences
get longer
#1511 [ + | - ] 463
(e-city) why do they rip trance as one huge mp3????
(Graeme) 'cos it's mixed, and the gaps you'd get in winamp
would spoil your ecstasy trip
#1508 [ + | - ] 720
<MegaWorld> Anyone awake?
<hypr> shutup im trying to sleep
#1507 [ + | - ] 320
<nexxai> man, I love having hookups
<MTrez> found someone who works in an abnormally large dildo
factory?