<AnthraX3D> White Ninja comics are racists <AnthraX3D> Why no black ninja? <ErectuZ> Because ninjas don't carry guns
<Caskie> Ive gotta try and write a 17 page letter, but i dont kno what to write <Fletch> Just write 'i am a fish' 400 times <Caskie? no! :P, thats a waste of paper <Fletch> Pfft,Im sick of people saying 'dont waste paper'. If trees wanted to live, they'd all carry guns
<ColdGhost> i was just sexually harassed by some old grandma <ColdGhost> i was walkin into my office and some older woman like 60 who works in other office, well she was walkin with me and talking and i was like "sorry my voice is bad today, really rhaspy and low, not sure why" and shes like "well its sexy" <posaway> i have 2 words for u <posaway> "no teeth"
<tetsuo> why do our bathroom signs at work have braille on them? <tetsuo> for that matter, why do any? <tetsuo> what kind of cruel fuck wouldn't lead a blind person to a bathroom? <tetsuo> "I'm kinda busy so here's what you're going to do. Walk down this hallway for about 40 feet. You'll come to an interesection, take a left down that hallway and walk another 20. On your right you'll encounter two doors. Now, I can't tell you which is which, you'll just have to find that out on your own."
<rancid_beaver> im sick and tired of this relationshit <rancid_beaver> relationship* <rancid_beaver> how the fuck did i mispell that?
<Jaice> I just got a gummy bear stuck in my nose! <Divination> 100,000 sperm... and you were the fastest?
<Sarah> lol, i was at a speech and debate tournament in 9th grade at a public high school in albuquerque. the counselor's office was right next to the culinary arts office. on the counselor's office window, there was a poster that said "Suicide: A permanent solution to a temporary problem" and on the culinary arts window there was a poster that read: "Use the right knife"
Skull: The existance of flamethrowers says that someone, somewhere, at sometime said "I need to set that thing on fire, but it's too far away."
<richie> its ironic how a flow of blood to the lower regions is only pleasureable to the man
<Tom> i put my username in as tom pocock, and when they sent me the confirmation email, my login name is Tom PoMrWinky
<+Radial> i think my mother knows i watch porn <+Radial> i can't tell... <Tsukari> Are you a male? <+Radial> i am <Tsukari> She knows.
<Trent> ohh, i saw brokeback mountain last night <_< <Ngamer> pretty good? <Come> I hear Ebert gave it 1 thumb up and a reacharound.
mixtapelove6: if a four year old kissed you on the lips twice, what would you do? Fosforix: hit it with the newspaper and say "no"
<Dogan> GUYS, STORY TIME <Dogan> So my teacher's friend's friend or something <Dogan> She was dogsitting one day <Dogan> Shows up the first time, finds the dog dead on the floor, right? <Nightryde> how embarrassing <Dogan> SO she's gotta pack the dog corpse up and take it to the vet so they can dispose of it or whatever <Dogan> She can't find anything to fit it in, so she stuffs it in a freaking SUITCASE <Dogan> She didn't have a car so she has to take the train through Chicago <Zeelot> oh mannnn <Dogan> This guy helps her carry the case on and is like <Dogan> "this is pretty heavy, what's in it?" <Dogan> lady replies "just some computer things" <Dogan> the guy SOCKS HER IN THE FACE AND RUNS OFF WITH THE CASE <Nightryde> AHAHAHA HOW would you pawn that sort of thing???
<k2xl> in 1998, i made a C++ program to calculate pi to a billion digits. <k2xl> i coded it on my laptop (pentium 2 i think) and then ran the program. <k2xl> the next day i got a new laptop but decided to keep the program running. <k2xl> it's been over seven years now since i ran it. and this morning it finished calculating. <k2xl> the output: <k2xl> "THE VALUE OF PI TO THE BILLIONTH DIGIT IS = " <k2xl> mindblowing eh? <k2xl> i looked in the code of my program, and i found out that i forgot to output the value :(.
<Nihility> I wanna buy starcraft cereal. <NoJuice4u> with marshmallow zerglings???? <Inside> kekekekeke sugar rush
(+fraseyboy) i got thermal grease on my finger. does this mean its going to melt? O_o!!! (+chronomaster5042) no, it meand you cant melt, go ahead, touch something hot (+fraseyboy) wow cool (+fraseyboy) does it work the same way for cold stuff? (+chronomaster5042) no (+chronomaster5042) it THERMAL greese (+chronomaster5042) not COLD greese (+fraseyboy) il put my finger in the fridge just to try it out...
Yikes: Someone sneaked into Rob's back yard and PLANTED A TREE this morning chunkyq: WHAT? Yikes: Like, a seven-foot deciduous sapling. That's the BEST act of vandalism EVER
Jimmy: no if you punched a care bare do you think it would shoot a rainbow out of its ass hooges: quite possibly hooges: or maybe sugar hooges: If that was the case, we could start a sugar plantation hooges: just breed carebears and punch them in the face and get the smurfs to harvest the sugar out of their ass
<MiniNinjaSushi> So, I cant be a Bi without having sexual feelings towards girls?
Geekie: This chick was yelling at me when I was eating chicken nuggets at mcdonalds today. Geekie: Like 'DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY DO TO THOSE ANIMAAAAAALS?!?' Geekie: and this guy behind me goes 'Shut the fuck up, I'm trying to eat my puppy-burger. Ashleh: What did she do? Geekie: she stfu. and cried.
hotpinkcutie09: yea let me tell you he spent one ENTIRE class talkin about how to spell prapoganda MisgivenGlassJaw: My guess is that you slept through that lesson
<Thero> WHAT THE FUCK <Thero> i just got yelled at for eating ham <Thero> WHY ARE MY PARENTS PISSED ABOUT ME EATING HAM <Thero> i didn't eat the ham to begin with <Neon-azi> did you eat it on a plane? <Thero> no? <Neon-azi> did you eat it on a train? <Thero> .... <|silicon> did you eat it on a bar? <wind> did you eat it in a car? <hydro> did you eat it in a box? <hydro> OR WITH A FOX?
Jokulhaups: I bet that when gays were kids, they always tried to shove the cylinder in the star shaped hole.
italy4me: i hate fucking people. italy4me: wait. italy4me: reverse that italy4me: i fucking hate people.
<raela> man today in bio when I was actually paying attention I heard the best owned story <raela> this girl learned about blood typing and how to do genetic crosses with it <raela> so she got all excited, went home, and found out her and her parents blood types from her mom <raela> she then realized there was no way possible her dad was related to her <raela> or at least, not the father <raela> it took her awhile to get her mom to admit it >:D
<egg> today at work i got totally owned <egg> i didnt understand something <egg> and i said <egg> "you know what i dont get?" <egg> and a guy i work with said "pussy and respect?" <egg> i was like :\
<CreQ> a lot of millitary interragaters are psychologists <thecatisold> and a lot of priests are massage therapists
<C@^^31> you say tomato, I say tomato <C@^^31> doesn't really work when typing
<Roladex> i was just talking to some girl about bdsm <Roladex> turns out she thought it was buddhism
sumgirl4eva12: you are the whitest person i know sumgirl4eva12: stop holdmeback3322: collaborate and listen
<kikuichimonji> The cook book said to clean the turkey <kikuichimonji> the oven had a clean button
syamajala: thats y i applied stonecrest: why. the word is why. syamajala: my double u and |-| keys don't double-u-ork.
<MrCoffee> Your mom is such a whore, if she was a chmod she'd be 777 because everyone has access
<d-snp> well actually windows D is my porn reflex <d-snp> you never know what's under alt tab <d-snp> it might be more porn :P
<OmegaHedgehog> Haha, a very funny thing happened to my cousin right before Christmas <OmegaHedgehog> My cousin was watching South Park with me, something he really isn't supposed to be doing <OmegaHedgehog> The episode where Cartman thinks a dildo is a sports watch was on <OmegaHedgehog> So he goes and writes down 'dildo' on his list to Santa <OmegaHedgehog> His dad goes and reads it and freaks out, and goes up to ask him where he heard what a dildo was <OmegaHedgehog> He replies with "I heard Cartman talk about it on TV. It's something like a sports watch, right?" <OmegaHedgehog> So his dad (my uncle) tells him it's a chocolate chip cookie, and asks my aunt to make him some <OmegaHedgehog> So the next day he goes to school, and here's the best part <OmegaHedgehog> He gets up in front of the whole class and tells them about how his mom gave him her biggest dildos and how yummy they were
<J-Dawg> I tried to buy a hooker with monopoly money once. <Kyee> how'd that work out for you? <J-Dawg> my mom said they weren't in monopoly <J-Dawg> ...they never let me play after that, either...
<ravon> kamikaze_: japp <ravon> kamikaze_: Något i den stilen, men du får lugna dig med parametrarna. <ravon> kamikaze_: Vadå, förstår du inte vad jag säger? Bra kodde. <wipu> oh setLocale(Locale.EN) <ravon> wipu: nah, just speak a random language as retaliation. <wipu> i just did, my choice was java :)
<diego>: yea <diego>: he says he takes four hours to masturbate <nate>: O.O <nate>: now THAT'S endurance <nate>: well, not endurance <nate>: endurance implies something admirable... it's more like... "stamina" <diego>: well id like to see YOU stroke it up and down for four hours <diego>: wait <diego>: wait <diego>: no <diego>: damnit <nate>: ... <nate>: wow, and i even got it in writing
<erl1> my gf is getting 8mbit <erl1> im glad i didn't dump her <erl1> im gonna go over to her place with my box and leech
<death09>my girlfriend broke up with me and sent me pix of her and her new boyfriend in bed <ktp753>ouch. <death09>yeah.i sent them to her dad
<Yaksha> What's a Jewish conundrum? <justin> I dunno? <Yaksha> Free ham <justin> that's not a conundrum, you take the ham and donate it to charity and get the tax write off.
<Gunth> before i was a teen i thought "Masturbate" was some kind of master or bachelor degree... so when my teachers asked me what i wanted to do with my life.. i told them "masturbate"
Lunatic: All those opposed to the patriot act raise your right hand Lunatic: Raise your hand high Lunatic: Now raise the other one Lunatic: Hands behind your back Lunatic: you're under arrest for treason
(TarAldarion) just a bit shocked that my roommate is pregnant (Ruu) was it a shock to her also? (TarAldarion) dunno yet (TarAldarion) havnt talked to her (TarAldarion) read her blog
<alan> if you were a credit card, you'd be a visa, since you're everywhere i want to be. <sp4nk> You'd be American Express. No one accepts you.
<Jeffrey> So I started work today at Cox Communications. <Jeffrey> Direct quote from Cox Communications, mission statement. <Jeffrey> "For Cox, it's not about being the biggest; it's about being the best." <Vann> ...I feel a t-shirt coming on.