<rick> hey my bro called me up the other day asking for the ops cd key <rick> so im like, military style? bc its such a pain to understand the letters over the phone <rick> so hes like "whatever sure" <rick> so im sitting there for like 10 minutes saying " kit-cat-kit-cat-9 = venus-bounce-bounce-bouce-dog = girl-girl-phone-girl-daddy ..." so thats going on for a while and hes repeating it back to me and im repeating it back to him for like 5 times. <rick> so finally i hang up the phone and spin around in my chair and my grandpa is standing in the doorway totally dazed, and hes like "i'll never understand you young kids."
<+aeonite> is there any diet plan that does not involve fucking cottage cheese? <@LordCrank> some of them involve eating it instead
<tennisgh22> i was watching this porn and the girl keeps goinng "see!!! see?!!!! seeeee?!!!!" <tennisgh22> and i was like wtf see what? <tennisgh22> but then i realized <tennisgh22> it was in spanish :(
<Gandalf> how do you create a user in linux? <@Viceroy> you can't, if you use linux you're going to live alone forever
<Gonads> Happens to me too. Actually, I get upset with myself if I see a word I don't know the meaning of. Which is starting to happen more and more. <Apocalypse> Theoretically it should be happening in a mitigate and subjacent idiosyncrasy. <Gonads> Fuck you
t3hraven: Holy shit somethings burning outside my window t3hraven: brb t3hraven: o, nm t3hraven: it was a cloud going by my window t3hraven: thought it was smoke :/ BILLLL: Go outside much, raven? t3hraven: no :( BILLLL: cuz those cloud things can be pretty tricky t3hraven: shut up
<darkstar> 78/m/bedridden <darkstar> ball men <darkstar> swgtlm seeks non-human dick slave to swab bedsores and eat poo <d00rmaus> I only do sbgtlm <d00rmaus> sorry <darkstar> so you only dig single black gay transgendered lesbian males <darkstar> sorry we didn't match on e harmony <d00rmaus> no category #22 failed <d00rmaus> although we got 100% on #23, do you eat dick. <d00rmaus> too much data, kernel panic <darkstar> libdickslurping.so was not loaded at boot
NitishP | Wow this Perl tutorial can be lame - "recursion n.: See recursion."
<CherryMay> Channel 5 Sun Jul 10 6:20 PM <CherryMay> (100 min., 1990, USA, Adventure/Western/War Movies) <CherryMay> someone explain those genres to me please. <The_T> They stand back to back <The_T> take 10 paces forward, turn, then fire <The_T> in TANKS
<bda> Wow. Five SMS and already I'm wishing I had the fingers of a 15 year old Japanese girl. * bda pauses. <bda> Hmmm. <SketchCow> I do too <SketchCow> Wrapped around something
quiksilvrr101: hello axelay4: went out and bought some dice for D&D yesterday quiksilvrr101: hot axelay4: they were mondo expensive though...so i looked the guy at the counter straight in the face and asked him if i could roll a D20 to haggle quiksilvrr101: lol quiksilvrr101: and? axelay4: goddamn natural 1
<&dreams> well <&dreams> I want a direct link <&dreams> :P <@McRuMMy> ugh <@McRuMMy> www.yahoo.com/DontBeFuckinLazy <@McRuMMy> here <@McRuMMy> http://www.sky.com/skynews/article/ 0,,30000-1188265,00.html <&dreams> lmao <&dreams> thanks <@McRuMMy> everytime i dont feel like helpin you i look back on this pic of your boobs :>
<kingofign> I was talking to a HUGE anti-piracy friend yesterday <kingofign> and he said <kingofign> "Piracy is stealing" <kingofign> "You wouldn't steal a wallet, or a purse, or a car" <kingofign> And I say <kingofign> "Dude, you can download cars now? What newsgroups are YOU signed up to?"
(Bismarck) Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes!!!! (Bismarck) France is going to house the new nuclear fusion reactor! (Bismarck) If it suceeds, cheap long term energy. If it fails, BAM! France is gone! (Bismarck) It's win win!
(anuj) Strangest thing happened today. (anuj) I saw one of those Progessive Insurance SUVs heading towards an accident scene. (anuj) And the SUV got smacked by an 18-wheeler because it ran a red light. (anuj) The irony didn't hit me until just now.
<Koentje3> There are 2 secrets to follow if you want to live a succesfull life <Koentje3> Rule #1: Don't tell all ur secrets
<Handy> Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, <Handy> they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
<sulli> So I placed my order for the computer today <sulli> Any idea what "backorder" means? <dy> That means they dont have it, but will ship it to you once they get it. <sulli> FUCK that means all Im getting is 2 fans, a heatsink, and my free shirt and ballcap. <Omnica> Well, that will allow you to Look cool, and Be Cool :) <sulli> Fuck you
<sheep--> people at my work are weird <sheep--> i was washing my hands.. and this guy walks out of a stall with no shirt on, goes to a urinal, does his business, and goes back into a stall :\\
<sheep--> haha <sheep--> my mom got this knife at some asian store <sheep--> i was gonna use it to make myself some food <sheep--> but instead, i\'m gonna frame it and keep it for ever in the wrapper <Tick> ? <sheep--> it says on it \"Warning: keep out of children\" <Tick> lol
<Jess> When I asked my Gyno if he could make it feel good, <Jess> he looked at me in a really weird way and moved his hand back out.
<NIGHTMARE> I'm black from the waist down. <n10shun> How do you steal a TV with your feet?
jared 33 ghs 02: i heard possibly the most racial remark the other night at a restaurant The Magma Hawk: ? jared 33 ghs 02: an old jewish lady was lecturing my friend who was waitressing about the two tattoos she has and how its not good for her body and a drunk was listening and finally had enough and said "hey old lady, shut up, ur just jealous u got ur tattoo for free" The Magma Hawk: buahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha The Magma Hawk: that's what she gets for preaching jared 33 ghs 02: everyones jaw dropped and there was silence, and then he just turned around and continued talking to his friends or whatever
<EqD> How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb? <Castille> 1 to cry about it, 5 to post to an indie rock forum talking about how great the new lightbulb is, 15 to say that the old lightbulb was just fine, and to wish they'd stop changing their light and 25 to flame each other on typoes and musical taste? <Castille> so ... 41? <EqD> Frankly, I don't care. Let the little fuckers cry in the dark.
IAn553: I love making fun of the Amish online. Eddie0235: Why? IAn553: Cause they'll never find out.
OsakePenguin: I would go see elephants in Sri Lanka, but I think they're all planted with bombs to kill tourists. Zephurus: Haha. Zephurus: They even have their own navy and air force. Zephurus: How screwed up is that? OsakePenguin: The elephants? That's hella screwed up. Zephurus: The terrorists.
<Goldmoon> its amazing what you can get with batting your eyelashes and showing your tits.. lol <n0nthing> raped?
guardian_elma: my son just said to me, "you don't even know the basics of cool"
<AnonymousPosterChild> oh god <AnonymousPosterChild> I just messaged a chick on okcupid saying how I thought she was kinda hot AND SHES 13 <AnonymousPosterChild> oh god <AnonymousPosterChild> Shes 13 AND she thinks shes a lesbian <AnonymousPosterChild> this is the least appropriate erection EVER
LiQuIDsCyThE1: Like the Mallard Duck and Peacock, the wigger male will go to great lengths to secure a mate. This young wigger, for instance, has donned a vibrant all pink outfit to ensure success during the mating season. In this case, the flamboyant color scheme serves the dual purpose of both helping him get noticed by females in heat and distracting other males who will be too busy beating his ass to steal any of his mates. A borderline suicidal strategy, but successful nonetheless. ElPikachupacabra: who the hell are you, and what the hell was that
<yoozer> the speed of sound is defined by the distance from door to computer divided by the time interval needed to close the media player and pull up your pants when your mom shouts "OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING"
<Metalcore> works now, though <Metalcore> it's just because I have shitty internet <Metalcore> fast as hell <Metalcore> but stable as a refrigerator balanced on a coke bottle <Metalcore> in hurricane force winds <Metalcore> on a 45 degree slope <Metalcore> of teflon
<@MacG> people take their dogs car shopping? < Feenyx> they make cars for dogs now? <@MacG> sure. there are plenty of bitches on the roads :D < Feenyx> touché
<s7|eelektrix> want to scrim with us? <s7|eelektrix> Vin Diesel challenged everyone in the sub-continent of India to an arm-wrestling match. After humiliating that nation's finest arm wrestling warriors, an Indian holy man placed a curse on Vin Diesel, which is why he doesn't have a single hair on his body. But when Vin Diesel saved India from a tsunami by delivering a stand-up routine so hilarious the tsunami shook apart with laughter, the holy man rewarded Vin with the secret of morphing into an alpaca, and the secret of cooking the perfect terducken. It is from Vin Diesel's personal kitchen that John Madden purchases his annual terducken. <s7|eelektrix> oops <s7|eelektrix> dont mind that
benjiwenji07: this one time i saw a 40 foot tall wrench benjiwenji07: and that was the biggest tool id ever seen until i met john genz blahdy78: thats weird because this one time i saw this 40 foot tall wench blahdy78: and that was the biggest whore i ever saw till i met your mom
<LUEshi> What's the default font of the GameFAQs forums? <Sexy_Truck> Braille. <LUEshi> ...
<mattb> funeral was for my uncle <[OmegentooX]> Did he die? <mattb> that seems to be the popular opinion
<@Aprentice> girls who fuck animals should be put in a mental institute <Rjx> or on TV
<Beaph> Whatcha gonna make? <Alacard2k> Spaghetti, beef stroganoff, or tacos. I don\'t feel like the chicken tonight. <Beaph> Mmm... Beef Strokin\' off. <Alacard2k> well it\'s down to two now
<remial> gah... <remial> I was visiting my college roommate earlier today... <remial> his ex-GF and his daughter were there... <remial> they were in the other room watching cartoons or something... <remial> and my friend asked me how my life was going, and I told him that things wre OK but it felt like there was some sort of consperacy to keep me from getting laid... <remial> his ex GF immediatly calls someone on her Cel phone and says "He knows"
hbkshowstopper75: For only 15 grand, we could have our own music veriety show. it could be revolutionary televison even it its on at 2am hbkshowstopper75: i was just pondering the idea today ianepson: need 15k first ianepson: and if we saved that much up i can think of much better uses hbkshowstopper75: it\'s only one thousand 500 dollars ianepson: uh ianepson: yea u could buy urself a calculator with whats left over
Cooler1011: can you explain to me why i need to format and/or partition this disc? Cooler1011: It does not make sense to me. mrrc00: imagine a giant room mrrc00: now, throw millions upon millions of identical things into the room mrrc00: now these things can be used to make larger things, but only if they have some order to them mrrc00: a filesystem, which you create by formatting, orders those bits Cooler1011: yo, get a job Cooler1011: you're qualified Cooler1011: that really sounds like it came right out of PC Magazine mrrc00: oh, I'm not surprised mrrc00: I was pulling it out my ass, after all
<mooman> so i saw this number plate on some ricer car today... YAG-108 <mooman> except i saw it in my rear view mirror, so it looked like BOI-GAY <mooman> i nearly hit the car in front from laughing so hard : /
<Divarin> that's the thing about binary humor <Divarin> it either IS funny, or it's NOT