[dark-force] how long is a second? [[RAA]Ajarn] rofl [dark-force] ? [[RAA]Ajarn] that's priceless
<@PaulGonegooley> I just opened the box for my new harddrive <@PaulGonegooley> it smells like victory <malicious> the fuck it does <malicious> opening a new pack of MTG cards. <malicious> that smells like victory. <@PaulGonegooley> that smells like never getting laid, ever <@PaulGonegooley> that's what that smells like <malicious> fuck you :(
Roi: That's all you have to say? Some Dutch minor is hitting on me and you say "see you tomorrow"? Man, don't ever work for the suicide prevention hotline.
<Adjaro> i hate the internet <Adjaro> i have spent 15 minutes looking for george bush with a lightsaber <Adjaro> and have found NOTHING
< teferi> I lost the office pool < teferi> damn <+res0> aww, no more swimming at work
<KOMPRESSOR> guess what i got <KOMPRESSOR> i got a 100 dollar cigar <Lurch> wow, don\'t spend it all in one place
<Ali_mastah> so our exam finishes and i go to hand my paper in about 2 mins late, and the tite-arsed teacher says "sorry no more exams to be handed in it's too late you get zero" so i go "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!" and she goes all cocky and says "no, i do not" so i go "good" i pick up the papers and slid my exam in somewhere in the middle of them all.
a_spank_horses: Bro i_spank_horses: I was driving in a passenger seat of my friends car i_spank_horses: piss wasted i_spank_horses: He was driving like 45 mph i_spank_horses: And there was a mexican guy getting in a truck i_spank_horses: Close to my side i_spank_horses: I stuck my hand out the window and smacked his ass i_spank_horses: and he screamed so loud i_spank_horses: he thought he got shot i_spank_horses: I hurt my elbow i_spank_horses: It was so sick muzzleflashed: AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA i_spank_horses: I couldn't breahte for 2 days i_spank_horses: funniest thing ive ever done
<d0ppy> I just had an idea <d0ppy> If I spray cheese into a condom.... <cdkj> :/ <d0ppy> I can actually have sex with easy cheese <cdkj> get a girlfriend please
<Darth_Blade> Wow. <Darth_Blade> Word crashes whenever I try to quote the constitution article about human rights. Conspiracy theories anyone? %) <aetherspoon> heh <Darth_Blade> But it's really really weird. <aetherspoon> try openoffice. It only crashes when you quote Microsoft License Agreements. :P
<ChunkyQ> The man's a whore. His balls have seen more chins than a Chinese FedEx employee.
<Breserk> I love your humour :D <ErectuZ> I love your balls <Breserk> :/ <ErectuZ> you seen Team America? <Breserk> Physically? <Breserk> Nope. <ErectuZ> oh <ErectuZ> then that miht have sounded a bit perverted <Breserk> Yes.
<PinkLady> Seen pussygirl pop in and out, but never speak. <PinkLady> Man, that didn't sound right at all. <Shiffer-Brains> I think you had her confused with dickman
[phuong]: zim: smoking harms ur baby [somdomy]: how does smoking hurt your laptop?
<uZi`> i got a photographic memory <uZi`> :/ <Grimmeehh> cool <Grimmeehh> porn on demand <uZi`> mainly for numbers tho <Grimmeehh> o <uZi`> only ascii porn <uZi`> :(
(XisXisXis): I wanna find an old Star Wars pinball machine (XisXisXis): just so I can hear Yoda say, "Extra Ball, you have"
<monarch> the other day i skipped church and went to get something to eat at 7-11 <monarch> i paid with a 10 and recieved $6.66 in change. <monarch> am i going to hell? <qbert> almost certainly <monarch> fuck
DBO: the guy in the middle lane is blasting his music full blast DBO: so loud I cant hear my own music with the windows up DBO: I mean really FREAKING loud DBO: I look over at him and give him a nasty look DBO: and then I see something on the car on the other side of him DBO: its a note DBO: written on cardboard DBO: help up against the window Muz: Yes...and? DBO: "You music sucks, your stereo is too damn loud, and I'm sorry you have a tiny penis" DBO: he turned it down after that
<Admiral_Payne> One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said she was almost out of typing paper, and asked she should do <Admiral_Payne> "just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her <Admiral_Payne> You know what she did? <Admiral_Payne> she took her last remaining blank piece of typing paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five copies
<helgrl> What c:\DARTHVADER said to c:\DARTHVADER\ LUKESKYWALKER ? <helgrl> "I´m your folder"
<mikael> people should get beat up, for stating their beliefs <penisbird> is that your belief?
<Boo|Marking> Can you think of any reason why IE, on my dad's laptop, won't display animated .gifs ? <Mirabilis> Because they're disabled in the IE options <Mirabilis> Other than that, security settings <Boo|Marking> Hm. I looked for it. <Boo|Marking> I'll have another lookie-see. <Donovan> I dunno, Boo|Marking, I have a feeling it may have to do with "Microsoft KB #2383892: Internet Explorer is a Steaming Pile of Shit"
TheOrigionalFuzz: this one guy was yelling at me in spanish the other day, so I said "speak a real language or go to hell" and he kept yelling at me, and it was pissing me off, so I flipped him off, so he started chasing me, so I started running, and that's about it TheOrigionalFuzz: turns out I was on his property TheOrigionalFuzz: or something
<RandalCalrissian> Who wrote an essay entitled 'Advice to a Young Man on choosing a Mistress'? <Jeegoo> Cassanova <RandalCalrissian> Here's your 1st hint, B___am__ ____k___ <Jeegoo> no idea <Randal> dr seus <Jeegoo> hee <Zwuh> Al Gore <RandalCalrissian> Here's your 2nd hint, _en_a_in _r_n__i_ <RandalCalrissian> Here's your 3rd hint, B_njami_ Fra__lin <Zwuh> Benjamin Frankin <Jeegoo> Benjamn franklin <Randal> benjamin frankls <Randal> oop <Randal> s <Zwuh> haha <RandalCalrissian> Time's up! The answer was: Benjamin Franklin <Zwuh> way to spell, team!
3:pixelsoft> GHB? Don't you go to school? 3:GHB> Today is Saturday 3:pixelsoft> It's Friday GHB left arena
<flamebird> using trillian because \"it works with MSN too\" is the same as saying \"well im not going to a strip club tonight, ill just get my mother to give me a lap dance.. shes a woman\" - its true.. but.. NO
<Nirtose> heres some geek for you... You make me hotter than a overclocked, volt-modded Prescott chip with stock heatsink and fan <@Beaver> omg dude <Nirtose> thats right * Beaver has kicked Nirtose Reason(I told you once that im married) * Nirtose has joined #beaver <Nirtose> :( * Beaver has kicked Nirtose Reason(And not gay)
<Terror> So, on one of the last days of school we had an assembly in memorial of some guy that graduated from my school that was a gunner on a Humvee and was killed by shrapnel from a roadside bomb in Iraq <Terror> And when we go back to class, the teacher was asking us what we got out of the service <Terror> and one kid said "I learned not be the the gunner on a Humvee"
Infinitism: saying you've had the best sex without orgasm is like saying you've just cleaned a toilet with the neatest arrangement of shit all over it.
<Kitoshi> XD at the end of Ep 3, when they\'re showing Padme\ 's funeral <Kitoshi> my friend Hampton said \"Look! Her stomach\'s big again! They must\'ve stuffed something back in there after the births!\" <Heath> xD <Kitoshi> and without a second thought, I respond \"Where do you think Yoda went into hiding?\"
<prepared>Theorem: All numbers are equal. <prepared>Proof: Choose arbitrary a and b, and let t = a + b. Then <prepared>a + b = t <prepared>(a + b)(a - b) = t(a - b) <prepared>a^2 - b^2 = ta - tb <prepared>a^2 - ta = b^2 - tb <prepared>a^2 - ta + (t^2)/4 = b^2 - tb + (t^2)/4 <prepared>(a - t/2)^2 = (b - t/2)^2 <prepared>a - t/2 = b - t/2 <prepared>a = b <prepared>So all numbers are the same, and math is pointless.
<Trin[awah]> I was dyeing easter eggs, and I said, "my eggs came out all ugly!" <Trin[awah]> and my brother said to me, "well, now you know how your mother feels."
<minion> what should i get for lunch <minion> i have $4 <keef> 8 packs of ramen and a 3 dollar hooker
<megamobike> my mom taught me a very important lesson today <ccrookedrrain> no means no? <megamobike> gross
<notalive> have you heard those jokes they dont tell gay people <notalive> ? <kebaan> i dont think so? <kebaan> tell me one then i can tell you if i have <notalive> i dont know any
<deloused> haha i love when people start telling you stuff like you care when you actually don't and you don't pay attention, and then when they finish they ask for your opinion /advice and you just say "oh yea i totally agree" <XA> oh yeah, i totally agree
<zere> i need to make 75 thousand dollars <videogameaholic> removing your head from your ass leaves quite a medical bill, doesn't it.
<irving> i do stuff like set up my garage door to open over the internet <MyPetGoat> having an internet-enabled garage door? what that fuck is that good for? <MyPetGoat> it's like you're the most pathetic Bond villain ever
<dodgo> what the fuck <dodgo> school students demonstrating against copyright infringement? <Count> mmm, it's like the poor demonstrating against food stamps and welfare
random girl: hey! me: ...hi? me: who is this? random girl: Jessica, I saw u on myspace random girl: ur hot me: thanks random girl: np me: this girl keeps bugging me, but I don't want to talk to her me: what should I do? random girl: make up sum excuse, like ur mom is kickin u off or sumthing me: oh alright me: I have to go me: my mom is kicking me off me: bye
<JadussD> all i can say is, the native americans could not have had better vengeance on americans than tobacco :| <JadussD> hundreds of thousands of dead each year <JadussD> "hey, we're going to enslave, decimate, relocate, and destroy your way of life." <JadussD> "oh, okay. here, smoke this"
<stargazr> yeah, the only reason i have a tv is cause i won it in a book reading contest
<DrSeuss> My dad was calling me gay and shit. <DrSeuss> He was like "Youre a stupid queer! You cant even get a girlfriend!" <DrSeuss> Thats when I said "Shut up dad, you dont know anything about my life!" <DrSeuss> ... <DrSeuss> So I grabbed my pom poms and left :(
<strangeintp> anyone know what version ships with latest free Mangina distro? <mpyne> bwahahaha <pahli_bar> lol <mpyne> s/Mangina/Mandriva/ maybe?
<rom> if i was ever playing hide and go seek I would want Anne Frank on my team.
mouAng: cuz im not perverted mouAng: hahas IllIllziroIllIll: say something perverted IllIllziroIllIll: at least once IllIllziroIllIll: like IllIllziroIllIll: boobies mouAng: ums okays mouAng: toe