[Spetsnaz] My uncle taught me at age 9 how to strip and reassemble a 9mm Makarov pistol blindfolded. God did that infuriate my mother.
aznsmilingirl: if u had an accent, what would it be? AgentScrewball: russian AgentScrewball: because then i'd sound pissed no matter what i say
<bill> Last time christ went to church, they killed him. What makes you think he wants to return?
Elinstar: Have you ever really thought about a male lifeguard? Elinstar: Think about a hot muscular guy just TEARING YOUR SHIRT OFF in your time of need and pressing down on your chest with his hot muscular arms and forcing his tongue down your throat and blowing HIS AIR into YOUR LUNGS as he massages your chest. Elinstar: Not that I'm gay or anything but thats basically what you're getting. Centimetro: Wtf
<^Syke^> MAKES ME WANT TO COMMIT SUICIDE <^Syke^> :'( <nelixx> dude <nelixx> do it on webcam
<WhiteHowler> When did the Swedes get so good at Track and Field? <Cubby[history]> When someone put a keg at the end of their lane.
<Navi> My mother (to brother): "If get fat enough, you can't see your weenee." <Navi> My brother (age 8): "BUT I CAN MAKE IT BIG!" <Navi> I lost all hope, right there.
<Stryst> DSP-: You're an idiot, aren't you? <DSP-> Stryst: only on days that end with a "y" <Stryst> DSP-: In your world all days must end in 'y'. <Stryst> Go away moron.
<%japaneseschoolgirl> china is beating USA in gold <@||bass> it was tied this morning <%japaneseschoolgirl> well still <%japaneseschoolgirl> china is beating USA <%japaneseschoolgirl> oh and USA lost in basketball <%japaneseschoolgirl> to lithuania <%japaneseschoolgirl> what the hell is lithuania <@||bass> dude <@||bass> dont sweat it <@||bass> the olympics isnt over <%japaneseschoolgirl> dont sweat it? USA lost in basketball. <%japaneseschoolgirl> to LITHUANIA
<KTP> If I ever get a hot girl pregnant I'm going to hit her stomach with a shovel <KTP> And just start yelling "NO! BAD HOT GIRL!" <KTP> Because thats how you have to treat them <KTP> Or else they won't learn <ib> That's cruel. Isn't it bad enough that she's blind?
freezingplanet85: How long Is your robo wang? SmarterChild: Very long. freezingplanet85: Stupid bot.
<Saiyanfire> THINK ABOUT IT <Saiyanfire> NORMAL PPL DONT GET OFF TO TOON FU*KING <Nexus> u might be right......i'll stick to dragons... <[256][FIN]HorribleGoat> WE'RE NOT NORMAL PEOPLE <[256][FIN]HorribleGoat> now where did that horse go...
<Syzygy> My cock needed some fresh air Vlad » OH Vlad » that reminds me.... Vlad » brb
<weasel> she likes it when you touch her feet <Zoidy> Im not touching no ones feet <Zoidy> only my own * jessica is now known as my_own <my_own> touch me baby <my_own> oooh yeah....
TransCanadaTrail: they keep refering to this asl character J: dont make me reach through the computer and slap you >_<
<InuYasha> I have no friends <InuYasha> FINE <InuYasha> SCREW YOU GUYS <-- InuYasha has quit (Exit: Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?) <Urch> I give him a minute <Urch> 3 <Urch> 2 <Urch> 1 --> InuYasha (thegreg@dm-33299.kc.rr.com) has joined # bobandgeorge <InuYasha> I forgot my wallet * InuYasha grabs it <-- InuYasha has quit (Exit: Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?)
<FrozenBeefLog> hey lets all make sexual symbols <Slicey> 8==e <FrozenBeefLog> 8======* <FrozenBeefLog> hah mines bigger <Slicey> yours has an exploded end
<Spydie> ive been playing games too much, when i close my eyes i see gun fights <NuGgEt|mIRC> i see naked men
<Syberia> FUCK i'm dead <Syberia> i was flirting with this 15 y/o chick i met on halo <Syberia> she went to use the little girls' room <Syberia> her 11 y/o sis walked in and saw what she was doing <Syberia> got her mom, who read the whole MSN convo <Syberia> she starts talking to me, telling me her daughter's only 12 <Syberia> you'd think she'd get pissed at her daughter but no, now someone's mom who i don't even know in ohio now knows my phone # and thinks i'm a pedophile <SirChris> dude, chicks don't play halo
* nickname has joined #mp3friendschat <nickname> word <+bobbbit10> excel? <+Davman> rofl
omg omg wtf n00b: y'know what's hilarious? omg omg wtf n00b: when people boast about what they do on the internet omg omg wtf n00b: "omg im so drunk right now i had like 20 captain morgans" omg omg wtf n00b: and "omg im gonna get laid tonight its gonna be amazing" Americandude23: yeah. thats why i dont use irc.
<mowgli> Nicolai why are your faces allways backwards? <Nicolai> what? ._o <Mertek> He's european. It seems like everyone I've ever met from Europe has used backwards smileys. <Mertek> There's no other way to do D: though. <mowgli> : D <Spazmo> :D != D: <Spazmo> I got laid :D She had herpes D:
<Kanako> That's right kids. Unlike most of the Linux solutions out there, Cinelerra requires no emulation of proprietary operating systems, no commercial add-ons, no banner advertizements, no corporate dependancies, no terrorists, just pure, raw, hot blooded Linux boxes. <Kanako> ^--- It does, however, require walking through hell, fighting Satan himself, and saving the princess in the other room. <Neo1337> Just to find out the princess is in another castle...
DaLady Firestorm: and drinking my tea Laketh 69: teabag? DaLady Firestorm: I like tea DaLady Firestorm: and yes, there is a tea bag in my drink right now Laketh 69: lol DaLady Firestorm: why do you ask Laketh 69: ....... Laketh 69: teabag ;( DaLady Firestorm: do I want to know DaLady Firestorm: what's the fixation with teabag Laketh 69: is when you stick your balls into a girls mouth DaLady Firestorm: did you have a pet tebag... DaLady Firestorm: ...ah... DaLady Firestorm: okay, that explains it DaLady Firestorm: ew... Laketh 69: duh Laketh 69: and u like teabags DaLady Firestorm: I like tea DaLady Firestorm: not the bags DaLady Firestorm: or sacs DaLady Firestorm: or whatever Laketh 69: the bags make the tea DaLady Firestorm: I like what comes out of the tea bags DaLady Firestorm: oh, wait a second
<Kingsford> who is Psytrox? <Turori> rejis's date <Kingsford> an IRC date? <Cockbill_Street> right <Kingsford> you guys should go to #movies <Kingsford> and then, out to #dinner <Kingsford> and later, #backseatofthecar <Rejistania> Are you implying that I should get a life? <Cockbill_Street> you've found that out on your own. ;)
Iridium24: well my lady friend seemed excited to get my number so we'll see DogmaticLaw99: lol DogmaticLaw99: see what she looks like when youre sober Iridium24: i was DD friday night DogmaticLaw99: ahh Iridium24: but i totally know what you mean Iridium24: a year ago feb when i had just turned 21 Iridium24: omg i dont know what the fuck i was thinking Iridium24: she had this GIANT birth mark across her face DogmaticLaw99: lol Iridium24: i didnt notice until i called her up the next day and i picked her up for a date Iridium24: i almost went "holy shit what happened to your face!" Iridium24: and then i saw some pictures and she has clearly had it all her life Iridium24: i was like omg, how many drinks did i have last night! DogmaticLaw99: thats sad bro Iridium24: In conclusion i go to dance clubs sober now
(@[UGP]SirSteam) ITS ALL FUCKING FUNNY TIL YOU ARE MARRIED (@[UGP]SirSteam) THEN THE LAUGHTER FUCKING ENDS GENTLEMEN (@[UGP]SirSteam) BE WARNED (@[UGP]SirSteam) oh hi honey i was just talkin to the gu ?? quit: ([UGP]SirSteam) (~ssmith@SirScoots.user.gamesnet) (Read error: EOF from client)
<Revolution_Man> I want to be launched out of my coffin at my funeral. <RandomMan> hahah <Inferno> Liar. <Revolution_Man> With a tape recording attached to the body saying "I'M STILL ALIVE, CATCH ME!"
<chewy> has anybody an idea where to get torrents of german simpsons episodes? <Whacko> germany
krlgol2: Microsoft has also managed to upset women and entire countries. A Spanish-language version of Windows XP, destined for Latin American markets, asked users to select their gender between "not specified," "male" or "bitch," because of an unfortunate error in translation.
<_dk-> I just grabbed a couple pretzels and sat down at the computer... I bit in to one and realized that not only was it stale, but I wasn't really all that hungry to begin with. But I was too lazy to get up and toss them in the trash, so I ate them anyway... I wonder just how many of the Seven Deadly Sins that qualifies me for...
<ThaNoise> you know i saw something funny last night. an asian guy wearing a jerry rice jersey. was it wrong of me to laugh at an asian persion with "RICE" printed on the back of his shirt?
* Quits: FuTar0 (Quit: and /part were sitting in a tree and / part fell off, who was left?)
<@NeoMinder> Hey cloud! Get off my you! <nightrunner> You ate paint chips as a kid, didn't you? <@NeoMinder> you mean wall candy?
Ross81: my fingers smell like pussy for some reason Battlepoet: uh Ross81: I wonder if mcdonalds has added different spices to their friends and mcnuggets Battlepoet: o.0 Ross81: fries rather Battlepoet: good thing I've got wendy's coming instead
(long conversation about a problem goes here) <Yttak> So, what you want me to do now ? It still doesnt work !!! <TheMTZ> ok - i got the ultimate solution for you now - it will solve it 100 pct. <Yttak> Cool, tell me ! <TheMTZ> Unplug all the cords, put the PC back into the box and bring it back to where you bought it. <Yttak> You mean its broken ? What should i tell them when they ask ? <TheMTZ> Tell them you are too god damn stupid to own a computer and get the money back. * Quits: Yttak (Yttak@xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx)
<Nique> *eyes spam* 'Supersize your penis.' Does that come with fries? <kymscrazy> I want a chocolate shake with mine. <Foenix> I just want no lettuce. * GeekRyuu (Ryuu@12.5.124.207) has joined #subcafe <GeekRyuu> Hi! <GeekRyuu> How is every little thing? <Foenix> We were just talking about supersizing them.
<D1> ugh <D1> they put me on lithium! <sorbix> did they perscribe you batteries <D1> not yet. <D1> but who knows what they'll give me next time.
<imanz> sorry about my server il get it up * absynthe wonders where she's heard THAT before...
<tegu> WANNA PLAY IRC TIC TAC TOE? <tegu> 1 2 3 <slip> K <tegu> 4 5 6 <tegu> 7 <tegu> erm <slip> LOL <tegu> 1 2 3 <tegu> 4 5 6 <tegu> 7 8 9 <tegu> you go first <slip> 1 <tegu> 5 <tegu> UR TURN <slip> 4 <tegu> 7 <slip> 3 <tegu> 2 <slip> 9 <tegu> 8 gg <slip> gg
<_blackcat> in the bash how do I get it so that it will show the all the dirs in a different color? <octalpuss> i believe that's the --gay option
310||slackerr: man, they shut off the water in our building 310||slackerr: its gonna be off the entire day 510||joey: that SUCKS@ 310||slackerr: the worst part is that i took a shit before i knew it was off
<EvolvEarth> /nickserv identify iloveanal <EvolvEarth> FUCK <kupo> How did you know my password?!
isotec: so my dad decides to be nice and put a chocolate on top of my LCD monitor (its one of thoes ones with booze in it isotec: so i come by l8r and im like cool isotec: i pick it up as as i do so it starts to drip on the top of the monitor and some booze leaks out isotec: im thinking well that was totaly smart dad now i have whisky or somthing and chocolate oozing around up there isotec: but im like hey cant let that chocolate go to waste isotec: i start to lick up the tasty mess and when im in mid lick my dad walks in and is like "Jesus son, i know you many like your computer but this is just rediculous!"
<[foreel]Torisutamu> Warning! <[foreel]LagginTimes> Warning: The following commercial may not be suited for young children. <[foreel]LagginTimes> Tired of watching college girls run around like morons and take off their clothes? <[foreel]LagginTimes> Of course you're not! <[foreel]Torisutamu> Tired of those same old girls at those same beaches? We thought not! <[foreel]Torisutamu> Fucker beat me to it