NARHDD:My dad once complimented a woman on having a "bun in the oven". NARHDD:It turned out she wasn't pregnant. NARHDD:Whoops.
* Shadowe`shopping has joined #gamesurge <Shadowe`shopping> listen <Shadowe`shopping> word of advice <Shadowe`shopping> NEVER use an electric razor to shave your scrotum <Shadowe`shopping> christ <Br34ch> wtf? <Br34ch> Why? <Br34ch> Elaborate, please <Shadowe`shopping> you have no idea how long it took me to get the bleeding to stop
Miyomei2: I had my portable CD player, and took it in the bathroom with me while I went to pee. Miyomei2: And the second I whipped my penis out, the theme song to 'Rocky' started playing. Miyomei2: I've never felt more manly than in that moment.
<PeterGriffin> He's always playing that awful FFXI game <PeterGriffin> Maybe when Madden 05 is released and he'll play something else I'll go over regularly again, but I can't see myself hanging out if all I get to do is watch him kill crabs <Jakeoff> do MMORPGS even qualify as games? <PeterGriffin> No, they're more like a treadmills that makes you fatter
<Moeancurly> i hate wireless internet <Moeancurly> constant ping tim<eouts Moeancurly> everytime i reach for my water i get disconnected <BakerTime361> where'd Moeancurly go?
*** 10 points awarded to queen_daisy33. 'carb': (1+1+1+2)x2. jesus_onacracker: haha queen_daisy33: woo 10 points queen_daisy33: take that atkins
<Mild> a choose your own adventure hamlet would be nice too <Mild> To be, turn to page 73.
<R3Co][L> i really need to reinstall PS <R3Co][L> fuck knows where ive put my cd * Ghozt is now known as fuck_knows <fuck_knows> it's under the clothes on your floor.
<_tail> i stopped beleiving you a minute ago <Idiot> i'm surprised you believed me at all <_tail> you started tlaking a minute ago
<Timelord> I am heading down to Cingular to go punch a CSR in the face. <Timelord> Later all. <Tuan> haha <TacoWork> chip a tooth for me. <mattsteg_> if you don't get your monthly quota of punches in, they roll over to next month
<sheep--> you are in a race.. and you pass the person who is running second, what position are you now? <exe|> Well... that depends... if you're the right side or not <FuIru> pass as in overtake, or fall behind? <sheep--> overtake <FuIru> then 2nd <sheep--> heh.. my dad caught be off guard and i said first <sheep--> he laughed in my face <FuIru> heh <exe|> haha <sheep--> he also said 'what kind of a programmer are you? hahaha' <sheep--> : <sheep--> i got pwned by my dad
* Uman sets mode: +vvv Mode6Nine ostrich Raptor|Sleep * Quits: ostrich (Quit: ) <Uman> So that's how to get rid of ostrich... <[dZ]Thane> .. * Uman sets mode: +v [dZ]Thane * Uman crosses his fingers
<FLoYD> CHILD: Dad, where did I come from? <FLoYD> DAD: Okay, we had to have this conversation some day!.. Listen........ <FLoYD> Dad and mom met in a chat room on the net. I set up a meeting with <FLoYD> your mom and we landed in the bathroom at the Cyber Cafi. Then, <FLoYD> mom did some downloads from dads memory stick and when dad <FLoYD> was ready to upload, we discovered that there was no firewall. Seeing <FLoYD> that it was a bit too late to cancel, I just carried on doing the upload. <FLoYD> Nine months later, the virus appeared!. <FLoYD> CHILD: Huh?
<[S]Supey|Llama> oogm! britney! toxic! my bro has the best songs!!!!1oneoneone(x, where y=2, and x=y/2)
DaLady Firestorm: hm... nother random question: if you could do one video game character, who would it be DerBrystar522666: now that is a tough cookie DaLady Firestorm: :-P DerBrystar522666: First thought is Max Payne DaLady Firestorm: lol DerBrystar522666: second thought is Justin from Grandia. Or maybe Roman from Armed and Dangerous DerBrystar522666: another thought is the Master Chief DaLady Firestorm: so, I ask which video game character you'd have sex with, and all your choices are men... :-P DerBrystar522666: oh... shit! DerBrystar522666: I read that one completely wrong
(mistersandman) aw pee (mistersandman) they require you to register it on the internet (X_Stickman) well with your 100% perfectly legal copy i'm sure you have no objections (mistersandman) oh of course not i just.. dont have an internet connection
<tomato> So Chris, you blew bubbles as a kid? <Chris> yes tom i did <tomato> Well Chris he just called, he's looking for you
<devils_trombone> Hey wana hear a funny story? <frogslegs> yep <Crazed_Cousin_Dougal> does it involve clowns and ninjas? <devils_trombone> no. <devils_trombone> Last wknd, me and sum mates were down at the pub, and we see this guy looking pretty pissed. <devils_trombone> Anyway, we hadn't drunk much, so we decided to be good people and drive this guy home. <Crazed_Cousin_Dougal> was he a clown/ninja? <devils_trombone> So we helped him up, and he fell over. Then we tried dragging him out and he kept falling over. <devils_trombone> So we drove him back to his place, and knocked on the door, and this woman answers (presumably his wife) and is all like: "Thanks boys, but where's his wheelchair?"
<Chee|s|e> I can't wait: soon, marijuana will be legal in Canada :) <Eddf> So you can have a pot garden in your back yard? <Chee|s|e> No dude, so I can extend the one in the back to the front.
<Breadfan>this morning my dad went to go to the bathroom, but my little bro was already in there, my dad turns the knob but its locked, and in his deepest UT voice my bro shouts "DENIED" <Breadfan>My dad just walked away scratching his head <Dreyer>ROFLMAO
<Chafey> Macgyver hates the french <Chafey> He's all like "I'll build a submarine out of this dried camel shit, damned french"
<Darric> Ok, so this guy's playing golf with a priest. <Darric> And he's really bad, so every time after one bad putt after another, he's like "FUCK I MISSED THE FUCKING HOLE" <[PervertedMonk]> k <[PervertedMonk]> ... <Darric> Next hole... swing... putt... "FUCK I MISSED" <Darric> And the priest becomes a little unnerved <[PervertedMonk]> obviously <Darric> So he says "You really shouldn't keep saying that, or the Lord may well strike you down" <Darric> Next hole: Swing... putt... "FUCK I MISSED!" <Darric> And then there's a rumbling in the clouds, and a lightning bolt strikes the priest dead <Darric> And a voice overhead... "FUCK I MISSED"
<<Excel>> Omg, I saw the funniest thing today. <<Excel>> There was a chalk outline on the floor, like those crime scenes where someone's been murdered. <<Excel>> And in the middle of it, someone had written 'PWNED! '
<Syko>Anyway, I'm gonna play some Simpsons :P * Syko is now known as Syko-ShitnRun <Syko-ShitnRun> oh shit * Syko-ShitnRun is now known as Syko-HitnRun
cardrealmsk8: i made it to 2nd base today Nck Tracy: nice. Nck Tracy: I made it to third, but there was no one else with me.
<Abracadav> thats a pretty ambiguous statement <timmo> i wish someone would ban you. * Abracadav was kicked by knucklz (ask and ye shall receive) * knucklz sets mode: +b *!*alk3@*.tpgi.com.au <timmo> hey look at that wishes do come true <timmo> and you dont even need cancer to make it happen
<DAMNIT> My god I hate being new clerk at the pharmacy where I work... <DAMNIT> Today some 80 year old guy comes in with a giant syringe, asking if we had it. <DAMNIT> The guy handed me it, I took it in my hand, and I looked in every part of the store possible cause I had no clue in hell what it was. <DAMNIT> So, I go in back and ask the owner if we have it or can order it, still holding it in my hand. <DAMNIT> The owner then bursts out laughing and point at me, so I go "What's so funny? The guy just wants to order it?" <DAMNIT> So the owner goes "That's a enema syringe. It's probally been up his ass plenty of times by the color of it!" <DAMNIT> I then procede to calmly walk back to the front, give the guy his anal sucker back, and the owner then deals with him about ordering it. <DAMNIT> Meenwhile I put every soap we have on my hands and rub like hell for 20 minutes till my skin is completely raw. <DAMNIT> And I'm the laughing stock of the store now, and 2 of my relatives work there, so soon my whole family will be laughing at me......
<cow_crap> ok I came to class early one day, considerably early <cow_crap> and there's a girl there that I'm quite taken aback by <cow_crap> and she said "wow, you came early" and I said, without thinking, "that's what all the girls say" <cow_crap> I am such a fucking idiot <cow_crap> she laughed at me for like 15 mins
WarpdArchn: lots of christians don't go to church WarpdArchn: so they never have to meet the other people who believe the same things they do WarpdArchn: and therefore never have to lose faith in humanity
<Fuxm> You know what i wanna do? <Fuxm> i wanna photoshop a picture of me to make it look like im having gay sex with matt <rX> WTF why?? <Fuxm> ...and then put it where i keep my weed so if my parents ever find it they wont care about the weed. <rX> LMAO <rX> make two copies and put one in a rogers video case and return it to the one he works at
<Zazu> omg <Zazu> wc <Zazu> that link you posted <Zazu> eww <WC`> yeah it's bad <Zazu> why do you look at things like that? why not normal stuff to jack off to, like shuri's links? <WC`> because it's fun to 0wn you <Zazu> but do you have ANY idea how hard it was to jerkoff to that?
<XvoiD> We need more members for the forums. I've told all my friends now tell all yours. Im sure they will love it here. Come on and help out the forums. <debian_> What if people start to advertise and the forums get a flood of people like Ra... noobs. <thomas> what if we became an elite group of forumers who took over the world by sticking together in a pack of small numbers, fighting the odds, and defeating cobra commander whenever possible?
* grannyman jams a slight tune <grannyman> just slightly <grannyman> not quite full-on <grannyman> just slighty sub-par <grannyman> but not yet sub-woofer. <grannyman> or sub-sonic <grannyman> just kinda like sub-way <grannyman> you know, like eat fresh all day <grannyman> BUUU dubba Duuuu dubba Duuu dubba deeeee <grannyman> SHIIIIIIIIIIINEEEE~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <grannyman> dude, I wish i could emulate instruments through IRC. * grannyman was k-lined by Q (Jesus, I'm a bot, and I can't even take this shit.)
Pikeman: I wonder if sex in heaven is considered necrophilia. Pikeman: Or hell. *** Jam (Jam@217.137.88.9) has joined #ev3 Pikeman: Jam, wanna test my theory? Jam: sure forge: Heh. Jam: do i have to get naked? forge: In a way...
<booze> rice makes your dick gain strenght :p <Margarita> if you shove it in your dick, sure, booze
<Twiztid> My gf called me gay <Twiztid> I came back with <Twiztid> "If I'm gay then why do I think of you when I jerk it?" <Twiztid> There was an akward silence... <Linguica> whats wrong with that <Twiztid> nothing <Twiztid> except I was talking to my grandfather
<Duo> i love it when youve been drinking for a while <Duo> and you think youre completely sober <Duo> but then you stand up and you're like, "oh there it is"
(Deranged): Having my right hand as a girlfriend is the best relationship I've ever had. (Deranged): It's always up for threesomes, it'll never cheat on me. (Deranged): And best of all, I don't have to talk to it after sex, because I don't know sign language.
<Irish_GothDragon> he just figured out spiders have no genitalia <Aryn> yes they do <Irish_GothDragon> no they dont <Aryn> yes they do <Irish_GothDragon> they have orafices for fluid transfer <Aryn> err, good to know <Irish_GothDragon> the female rubs her tail sac over the orafice to get the sperm.. no real sex occurs <GlassRain> wtf * GlassRain exits * Quits: GlassRain <Aryn> it sounds very dirty, that's how I know it's real sex <Irish_GothDragon> hey.. I'm a biology major <[PR]Swift|ZzZzZ> that mean your getting turned on?
[anigirl82] my friend found out he was allergic to latex the first time he had sex [Sil<3rium] o.o [anigirl82] it sucked because he had been with his girl for like 3 years..and they had been waiting [Sil<3rium] oh noo [Urbal T] that is...wrongery [Sil<3rium] yeeeeeeees [blue><3dge] talk about a night he'll never forget! hahahah! ... ha... ha... ow... [blue><3dge] that poor man's wang
<Torgina> so wtf is up with mirc saying I have 7days left? <Azathoth> It's the tape you watched.
Becca: find a penny pick it up all day long you'll have good luck Matt: yeah... but Matt: if you throw the penny at someone Matt: it's funny
<Outsyder> they fell for the "look gulliable isn't in the dictionary!" <Outsyder> and they tried to find it <Outsyder> but they couldn't spell it
<+div0> hm... if an infinite number of monkeys typed like wild on typewriters... how many would be arrested for copyright violations? <@CCFreak2K> Exactly half of them. <@CCFreak2K> Even if that means half of a monkey is arrestred. <@CCFreak2K> So be it. <@CCFreak2K> This world's an asshole.
<Xira> I seriously hope ATi catches up with nVidia <Xira> (read: OpenGL) <ByronT> I seriously hope my wife is in good mood tonight. <ByronT> (read: sex)