Alh4zred: You know, I realized something. GenduShini: You love me? Alh4zred: I'd rather play games than have sex, you know why? Alh4zred: Think about it. Alh4zred: During sex, you have to please TWO people. Alh4zred: Or more. GenduShini: because Games last more than 10 minutes GenduShini: err GenduShini: that too Alh4zred: AND Alh4zred: In a game, if you're not doing well, someone just goes "fgt" or something GenduShini: and you just go "my current PC sucks" or "It's an off day" GenduShini: But in the sack... Alh4zred: In real life, you have some chick (in my case) that goes "Are you a faggot? That sucked" Alh4zred: You can't blame a bad orgasm on lag. Alh4zred: Dude. Alh4zred: You can't. Alh4zred: "I faked all those orgasms" Alh4zred: "stfu i was pinging 300"
<xxxGirlygirlxxx> Thank you for listening to me. <xxxGirlygirlxxx> You know your a really good listener. <xxxGirlygirlxxx> Sweety please say something. <Sandaedar> Ok I'm back.
<Pahalial> "ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge" - Charles Darwin <kionix> wtf? begets isn't a word. quit trying to make up words, fuckface.
<philosophiliac> lol this arvo some guy started quoting the 2nd amendment at a teacher after knocking some crow out of a tree <MissBitch> hahahahaha <philosophiliac> with a shoe <MissBitch> ... <philosophiliac> seriously he goes <philosophiliac> "the 2nd amendment states that all citizens have the right and obligation to bear arms" <philosophiliac> "and shoes" <MissBitch> lol <philosophiliac> "we made it very clear to those terrorists that we would tolerate no more attacks" <philosophiliac> and lockie here just got shat on" <MissBitch> HAHAHAHAHAHHA <philosophiliac> we have decided it is time to attack with neccessary force to show the crows that we mean business" <MissBitch> lol <philosophiliac> if they hit us" <philosophiliac> we hit back <philosophiliac> HARD <philosophiliac> with whatever comes to hand <MissBitch> im holding my nose so i dont burst out laughing here <philosophiliac> and we cannot be held responsable for a war they started <MissBitch> HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA <philosophiliac> in the war on crowism, ur either with us <philosophiliac> or ur against us <MissBitch> hahahahahahaha <MissBitch> thats just so hilarious <philosophiliac> oh yeah <philosophiliac> the teacher was in hysterics <philosophiliac> but the guy got a detention neway <MissBitch> hahahaha <MissBitch> oh well <MissBitch> woulda bn worth it! <philosophiliac> yeah <philosophiliac> we were basically on the ground we were laughing so hard <MissBitch> hahahahaha <philosophiliac> and he didn't crack up once <philosophiliac> and as the teacher leads him away he goes <MissBitch> if i didnt want to wake my parents, id b killin myself laughin <philosophiliac> "u can lock me up, but this war is a neccessary one" <MissBitch> oooooooooooooh <MissBitch> lol <philosophiliac> "and one that will be contnued by freedom loving students with shoes everywhere" <MissBitch> HAHAHAHHAHA ROFLMAO
<@HndlWCare> I just got email from postmaster@adelphia.net telling the mailbox for postmaster@adelphia.net is over quota, and if I feel this message is in error I should reply to postmaster@adelphia.net
<@reflir> also, my harry potter sex bot arrived <@reflir> err <@reflir> I mean boxed set
<rhyno> okay <rhyno> I must be losing my mind <rhyno> I just walked to the PJ station <rhyno> because I can't find my car keys <rhyno> and they were right fucking here an hour ago <DaemonX> pj station? <rhyno> yeah <rhyno> gas station <rhyno> but the thing was <rhyno> I was going there to get gas <DaemonX> without your car? <rhyno> and I couldn't find my keys <rhyno> so I just thought "I'll walk" <rhyno> go all the way up there.. and I'm like "wtf was I going here for.." <rhyno> "OH YEAH! DUMBASS!" <rhyno> then walked back <DaemonX> ... i can't even comment on that
<sunfish>I stopped a rape in the city last night <Donnyman>How'd you do that <sunfish>Simple I stopped following her.
<TriPa^> my mother is a cleaning fanatic <TriPa^> one Saturday she told me and my brother to get down to the playroom and straighten it up <TriPa^> we had a party there the previous evening, and she was none too happy about the mess <TriPa^> as she watched us work, it was clear that Mom was completely dissatisfied with our cleaning efforts and let us know it <TriPa^> finally my brother, exasperated with having to do it all over, reached for a broom and asked Mom: <TriPa^> can I use this, or were you planning to go somewhere?
Spreadursunshine: wow you werent online all yesterday EinhanderMKII: Yeah I was out doing things PRODUCTIVE Spreadursunshine: omg! its a breakthrough Spreadursunshine: like what? EinhanderMKII: fixing my internet
<neo_alex> stop arguing you fucks <enz0> Maybe it's YOUR mum <spandrick_doll> fuck you <spandrick_doll> you just cant haxk it <spandrick_doll> *hack <neo_alex> that does it, im creating characters of you in The Sims and im gonna make you have a gay marriage
<Duzzy> today at work, i was cutting gras outside the local school.. and then a chick came up to me.. kissed me, squeezed my balls, gave me a note and the she ran of.. and i was like wtf?!? when I got my mind gathered I looked at the note and there was a phone number.. I should send an sms to it, and that was when I realized the bitch had stolen my cellphone =(
* Ksu eats a bowl of crappy generic macaroni * SSL_Eefui idly drinks arsnic. * Nigelenki stops fui o.o <Nigelenki> arsenic isn't edible o.o;; <Shadow> Yes, it is <Shadow> But only once
<@Laplie|Gone> I just don't place periods at the end of my sentences every time. <@TacoMaster> Periods are important... <@TacoMaster> You start missing periods... <@TacoMaster> Next thing you know... <@TacoMaster> BLAMMO! <@TacoMaster> Babies.
<Big_Fat_Duck> wait its stuck at updating <Big_Fat_Duck> 1 second left <Big_Fat_Duck> read to play in approx. 1 second <Diazo> it's a microsoft second
genjer: so my sister asks me if this shirt makes her look fat genjer: and I was like, "no the fat underneath does"
Strategy: what the fuck Strategy: shipping cannot be 27$ Alpha: it better come in a wooden crate with a midget cradling the harddrive for that price
<enjoi> why would you name condoms after a horse that hides all the invaders inside and then lets them go once theyre inside? <ShodoPan-> i bet it's named after the viruses <ShodoPan-> you know, they slip right in and the recipient doesn't even realize it <ShodoPan-> oh shit that's not good either
<Taco> I fear for my little cousin <Taco> he's going to be a loser in school... <Taco> you know how I know? <Taco> Because he's very much like how I was at that age... <Taco> :/
@MetalMilitia{|cC|}: I never been to the states
@MetalMilitia{|cC|}: and I WILL NOT cross the boarder
@Raged|work: its better that way
@Raged|work: we don't need ya
@MetalMilitia{|cC|}: but ur women do ;)
@MetalMilitia{|cC|}: they all want some of my Canadian beef
baby !
@Sile: i crossed the border into Canada at Niagra Falls once
@Sile: i was sitting there thinking "damn, the canadian chicks
are hot!"
@Sile: then i realized that they were all american tourists
<reo4k> just type /quit whoever, and it'll quit them from irc * luckyb1tch has quit IRC (r`heaven) * r3devl has quit IRC (r`heaven) * sasopi has quit IRC (r`heaven) * phhhfft has quit IRC (r`heaven) * blackersnake has quit IRC (r`heaven) <ibaN`reo4k[ex]> that's gotta hurt <r`heaven> :(
<Fjoder> I hate when ppl say they gonna call and then they dont <Harvard> You sound like a girl. <Fjoder> I am a girl <Harvard> That explains it.
<Fire_Elemental-x-> Interviews suck in general <apathy> I dunno... <apathy> I used to like conducting them :) <Fire_Elemental-x-> all that "where do you see yourself in 10 years" and "what are your strengths and weaknesses" crap <apathy> heh, my questions were more along the lines of "tell me everything you know about the keyword 'const'" <Fire_Elemental-x-> Next time someone asks me a 10 years question I'm gonna say "Where you are sitting" <apathy> heh, then add "No wait, I thought you said 10 months." <Fire_Elemental-x-> heh
<morphine_monkey> dude, my hair is getting so long <spaceman_spiff> sweet, pretty soon it'll get as long as your penis <morphine_monkey> STFU, my hair is longer than an inch
MWellsSQaReD: Actually, I'm gonna go eat lunch, later gays. MWellsSQaReD has left the room. Sancilio Rules: mike wells just called us gay Sancilio Rules: how should we feel?
<GigaVirus> I've never had a firewall and never been hacked : /. <GigaVirus> . <GigaVirus> That was dumb to say.
<zap> glow in the dark dildo... interesting <zap> that would be disturbing if you didnt' know what it was and you were in a room with a person using it, in the dark <zap> ooooh pretty glowing thing! <zap> hey... it's getting shorter.. hey it disappeared... oh it's back... <zap> what's it doing? <zap> ooh... oooh?? AAH!
<Slave>So good party round mine, wasn't it Duncan <Player45> Hell yeh! <Johanna>oh really? <Player45>Yeh we all got completely fucked up, except the one problem <Slave>Problem? <Player45>Yeh, your sister and her electric toothbrush, hell she must have kept me up half the night using that thing, her teeth must be super clean <Slave>Electric toothbrush? She doesn't have one, no one in my family has one <Johanna>hmm.. <Slave>OH JESUS FUCKING CHRIST ON A FUCKING MOPED!
<Beerman> I'm the top of the nick list <Beerman> therefore I am the tallest <Outsyder> i am in the middle of the nick list <Outsyder> therefore i am the belly <Beerman> does that make Sethur the naughty bits? <Sethur> Hmmmm. * Sethur is now known as Sethurrrrrrrrrrrr <Sethurrrrrrrrrrrr> That's better. <Beerman> you're still at the "naughty bits" area of the nick list <Sethurrrrrrrrrrrr> Yes. That's why I made my nick longer
<Animaga> so, there's this panda bear <Animaga> and he walks into Pizza Hut, orders some pizza, and sits down <Animaga> once he's done eating, he takes a look at the bill and just goes to walk out <Animaga> manager and server try to stop him, saying "you have to pay for your food" <Animaga> so he pulls out a gun and shoots the place up <Animaga> the workers are terrified, asking him what the hell he's doing <Animaga> he hands them a dictionary, and turns the page to "panda bear" <Animaga> it says "small black and white bear, native to asia. eats shoots and leaves."
<Hunter> Someone asked me the difference between ignorance and apathy. I told her I don;t know and I don;t care
[+Mista] so how would I go about making a game? [+DJ-Northern] 1- Hire a team of developers [+DJ-Northern] 2- Spoof screenshots to create hype [+DJ-Northern] 3- Buy an E3 booth [+DJ-Northern] 4- Take your company public [+DJ-Northern] 5- Disappear with the money before anybody asks for a product
*** p00bear (jason@adsl-208-188-253-138.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net) has joined #cplusplus <p00bear> hey hey <p00bear> so can the boolean evaluated conditional expression achieve orgasm? <asiib> ... <p00bear> sure, it comes after a while! <p00bear> :D *** p00bear was kicked by Reagun (KK: i'm only kicking you cause i get it)
<freemysoul> my bro's wife divorced him <freemysoul> he's got a kid and all, too <freemysoul> the kid decided to live with his mom <detranova> poor kid <atlantis> poor woman <naisesom> your bro's a lucky bastard
<Silellak> Do you remember the good old days, when bottle caps said "YOU WIN" or "YOU LOSE", rather than giving you some lame code you redeem at their ad-filled website? <Silellak> I miss being told I'm a loser by a corporate product :(
<big_ernie> roses are red <big_ernie> violets are blue <big_ernie> my quote got rejected <big_ernie> so i say "fuck you"
<Nosnam> Who? <mystie> this dude on jeopardy, he was on his 20th return today <Nosnam> Woah <mystie> I didn't happen to catch if he won again today <NeoHentaiMaster> he is a robot sent from the future to win the prize money so others cant <NeoHentaiMaster> he will slowly drain the world economy until all collapses into chaos <Nosnam> George Bush is on jeopardy?
<Leto> I had a password I could type entirely with my right hand for a while <Nugget> why? <Leto> so I could unlock my screen while drinking coffee
<rhyann> hey i got a floppy with a virus and i wana now if its ok to put it next to the other floppys or do i gotta wait for it to get better to put it back in the box
Yami: Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits. Yami: The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to shove the fruits up your ass without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten." Yami: The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed. Yami: The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed. Yami: The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh? You almost got away with it" The second one replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy coming with pineapples."
<GWH> funny when you and your girlfriend are fighting over aim <GWH> and then you realize you dont have to sit there till she answers, you can do other shit too
cochese 04: I've been meaning to murder a lot of people cochese 04: But that Matlock guy is really good at catching murderers cochese 04: So I dunno cochese 04: I don't want Andy Griffith coming in my house and proving I did it
<pbqd> "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." -Warning label on a swedish chain saw
<Dianuzza> there is a big gay community here in Paris <usnjay> yeah. <usnjay> it's called "Paris".
troupe: oh shit, i just heard a car crash outside cyateon: oh shit cyateon: go loot the corpses before they respawn
<Dyl4N>a mosquito landed on my screen and i went to right click on it and close it... <Dyl4N>then i realized i should get out more <Jesse>send me a screen shot <Jesse>wait
<mojo>parents are weird <mojo>So there I am playing my drums just now <mojo>first im "skating on thin ice" <mojo>and I keep going <mojo>now aparently im "in hot water" <mojo>go figure
smallchild (andrew@j105.bkr50.jaring.my) has joined. «46 people» * @Liam touches smallchild...... <@Liam> I'm so sorry