<Samwise> And if not for a beard, what can you stroke while thinking? <jacquilyn> Depends what you're thinking about.
<Uncle> eww rough <Uncle> theres a mans name in this book: Clitus <Uncle> imagine how much he got beaten up for that <GT2> yeah, i bet all the kids at Fictional High beat him up real good
<lexa> anyone wanna buy some cheap tampons? 10p each <lexa> no strings attached
<caca_lialia> my brother was wanking in front of computer. <devil> how do you know?:) <caca_lialia> the mouse is on the left side...
<aoe2junkie> i wonder what my dog tries to say to me when he barks <Karath-Din> "stop touching me there"
ThAJuGgAlEtTe987: Every night, someone thinks about you before they go to sleep. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way. The only reason someone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you. There are at least 2 people in this worldthat youu would die for. You mean the world to someone. Someone that you dont even know exists loves you. When youuu make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look again. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget the rude remarks. So if you are a loving friend, send this to everyone on you list ZooTYaDeaDHomiE: Go Fuck Yourself
atty: my face hurts Chester: why is that atty: well, my grandmother is like a radical feminist atty: and she came downstairs while i was eating my ribs and took one atty: and i go, DAMN WOMEN... ALWAYS STEALING A RIB FROM US MEN atty: so she slapped me Chester: dumbass
<UKDJ|Planet> I swear to god <UKDJ|Planet> I've just heard a duck tell a joke <Jock> o...k <UKDJ|Planet> there was as group of ducks on a pond near where i live <UKDJ|Planet> one of the ducks was quacking away looking straight at a group of like 10 ducks <UKDJ|Planet> then he stopped and all the other ducks went mental <UKDJ|Planet> it looked just like duck stand-up comedy
<^sWift> omfg <^sWift> this shit is horrible <^sWift> McDonalds now offering a free music download with the purchase of a Big Mac Extra Value Meal <^sWift> "an average of 12 songs on a CD, so that's about 7200 calories you will need to consume in order to get an album's worth of music" <^sWift> ahaha <^sWift> People are willing to slowly kill themselves for free mp3s
<LordChewy> so my dad found my porn folder <LordChewy> and he was getting all pissed <LordChewy> so its all like "does this surprise you? i'm not stupid you know" <LordChewy> "i know dad" <LordChewy> "what do you have to say for yourself?" <LordChewy> at this point i stare at him straight in the eyes and say "C:Documents and SettingsRickyMy Documentsfaxessent faxes" <LordChewy> and he just shut up <kingKahn> what is it? <LordChewy> its his porn folder
<Dr_Willis> I also got a "force feedback" mouse :P AzMoo[w] [~AzMoo@eth4931.sa.adsl.internode.on.net] has joined #*** <Dr_Willis> wife hates it.. "It Bit me!" <Dr_Willis> i had the Vibe set to max. she thohgh she was getting electrical-shocks <Dr_Willis> :P <AzMoo[w]> wow, I came in on the right conversation ...
<kn1ves> How do you think Jesse Jackson would react if he got asked to answer the white courtesy phone?
<zilla1126> When I woke up this morning I had semen in my underwear. <nadervader22> .... <zilla1126> I'm concerned because it did not taste like mine.
<Freezer_Burn> how do i removed a burned in image from my monitor <seamuso> buy a new monitor <Freezer_Burn> i cant <Kornchild> how did you burn an image into yoru monitor? <Freezer_Burn> i set it to full screen at high brightness and fell asleep <Freezer_Burn> there is a faint outline of a naked lady with her legs wide open showing her privates <Freezer_Burn> and i i have to remove it before my mom comes home tomorrow night <trance`> Freezer_Burn LMFAO <meanolthing`> lol
Rabidplaybunny87: It is better to be pissed off than pissed on. DAGREATONE951: Tell that to r. kelly.
<Mike>You don't even know what a foo is <Chris> of course i do... It's the guy you pity.
<bloodeu> Fortunately, I have a six pack that turns women on instantly <skittz> is it bud light?
<+lisa`> well, sometimes, when the moon is right i like to print out the source code to the Linux kernel, scatter them on the floor, lube myself up and roll around in the printed code.
<DrBoB> sex is so over-rated... <DrBoB> and i dought it's gonna be much better with someone from the opposite sex.
Name|ess: i have a fetish for captain planet tho Name|ess: :> Name|ess: he can put his finger in my ring anytime
<khjb007>i got a way to tell if your mind's dirty or not <kpgongju226>aight <khjb007>what's a four letter word, that describes a girl, and ends in u-n-t? <kpgongju226> cunt? wait. shit, that's dirty... <khjb007>lol, its aunt you dumbarse...
* jtal sets mode: +v <jtal> no more talking from you young man Mash- is now known as -WTF-_ -WTF-_ is now known as givemev givemev is now known as plz- plz- is now known as comon1 comon1 is now known as usux- * usux- has quit IRC (you suck cock give me voice) * usux- has joined #MethaneDev * usux- has quit IRC (come on don't be a bitch) * usux- has joined #MethaneDev <jtal> OMFG DO YOU NOT SHUT THE FUCK UP! HOLY FUCKING SHIT JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP MAN! GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!!%!!!@!$@!)(@# *!()@)$04812041892801392onetwoninethreesevensix
<SubWolf> Do you know the number of times I've walked into a room and had some guy go "Here comes Jesus"?!? That was back in the big beard & long hair days. <MrPilot> hehe <C> Bloody hippy <SubWolf> I used to say "Yeah, and you've sinned, motherfuckers."
<%kiwibonga> Je ne donne pas un merde - I don't give a shit <%kiwibonga> THAT MAKES NO SENSE <%kiwibonga> you cannot give a shit to someone <%kiwibonga> in french <%kiwibonga> that sounds like "I'm taking a shit in my hands and I'm keeping it for myself"
<Face> I worked at a compusa <Face> People go in their knowing nothing about computers, and get had. <AngryLlama> Face: any electronics store does this; I was in Best Buy yesterday and the guy actually felt the need to tell me "A megabyte is like a kilobyte, except really big"
Krackers2087: fucking spyware crap Krackers2087: evil bastards Krackers2087: theyre like the hitlers of the 21st century Krackers2087: before you know it theyll get ideas Krackers2087: and soon they'll be flooding your screen with popups like KILL THE JEWS!!
<Zenith> So I was at work today, signing for a package from UPS.. <Zenith> When the FedEx guy walks in with a package of his own. <Zenith> And at that EXACT moment, a customer changes the channel to TBS and the Mortal Kombat movie is on, right when the fight theme music starts. <Nigma> Did they break out into a delivery duel to the death? <Zenith> I was prepared for parcel projectiles and fedex fatalities. <Zenith> They eyed each other, and I knew something was about to happen... <Zenith> But then the guy changed the channel to "Trading Spaces" and the fight was over.
(Teg[WTW]) Some girl left her yearbook lying around, so I decided to sign it. (Teg[WTW]) I wrote "Megan - Even though I never met you, I've had some good times over the years watching you from that tree in your backyard. Stalkingly, Steve"
<Z-U> how do u say that u r leaving <Z-U> ? <Xelloss> bye typing "i'm leaving" without the quotation marks <Z-U> oh
<john-lennon-> how much does a new 2004 mustang go for? <Jonathan`> it goes for about 2 years then falls apart
figs: whatcha doin man trawlz: moping cause i have no life, you? figs: just opened like 50 starburst figs: gonna see how many i can put in my mouth at once =D trawlz: well shit. i feel better already
<Surge> I just realized something....you can't spell embarassed without "bare assed" <gornotck> You just did.
<i8b4uUnderground> d-_-b <BonyNoMore> how u make that inverted b? <BonyNoMore> wait <BonyNoMore> never mind
<alien> theres a fly on my windowsill and it's rubbing its hands <TheKnife> it's contemplating <alien> oh shit
<fitcher> my dad's credit card # is 4**0 0**1 3**3 7**7 exp 0* /0* <fitcher> whoops <fitcher> ignore that <fitcher> type /clear <ProudCdn> why would you give your credit Card # out? <fitcher> i was ordering a game off this guy
<hawk> health class was the greatest <Kirk> ... <Kirk> Heh <JuKe> even losers like you get to see vaginas
<@boink> I wonder when the day will come that telemarketers offer to Enlarge my Penis?
<arsen^> just did apt-get update <arsen^> went to get a coffee, came back and screen is blank <arsen^> not sure what its doing :o <@directhex> press a button <@directhex> it's called a screen saver <arsen^> why the hell :/
<noan> yay more manga <pingtimeout> heh <[I> why is japanese cool and not polish <[I> wtf <[I> >:[ <pingtimeout> because polish chicks dont eat their own shit
volume Maxed out: it's fun talking to "suicidal" chicks volume Maxed out: because they always make the silliest excuses volume Maxed out: for why they haven't succeeded in their attempts volume Maxed out: and i give them like volume Maxed out: every tried and true suicide method volume Maxed out: including really simple and painless ones volume Maxed out: and they make up the dumbest excuses volume Maxed out: like volume Maxed out: start a car in a garage volume Maxed out: and sit back volume Maxed out: and theyre like volume Maxed out: i dont have a car volume Maxed out: or volume Maxed out: my parents wont let me use their car or something volume Maxed out: and i'm like volume Maxed out: bitch your gunna die who gives a shit
* Joins: Melissa (java@IRChat-1E088857.prem.tmns.net.au) <SL69> no you cant have my children im sorry leave <SL69> ... * Parts: Melissa (java@IRChat-1E088857.prem.tmns.net.au)
<ED> I like my women like I like my coffee <EliteSoldat> GROUND UP AND IN THE FREEZER
tehsolace: lets cyber d j n p h a s e: mmmk d j n p h a s e: you be the girl tehsolace: ok tehsolace: im a girl d j n p h a s e: ok d j n p h a s e: i have to go take a shit d j n p h a s e: one sec tehsolace: O_O
This is during a joke where 2-D is acting Japanese in another room <The_2-D> He said ditto to me, and I said ditto is japanese for truck <Ten> AHAHAHA <Ten> TRUCK <The_2-D> So he will go through the rest of his life telling people ditto is Japanese for truck. <Ten> lets hope so <The_2-D> And on my death bed, someone will end up using the word ditto, and someone around my bed will say, "that's Japanese for truck." <Ten> AHAHAHAHA <Ten> youll die laughing <Ten> and no one will know why
<Artemius> LONDON Iran has established what could be the first training center for Islamic suicide attackers. <Treen> How does one train for a suicide bombing? <Traveler> It's indoctrination, plus training on how not to detonate prematurely, and how to get your payload safely to where you are supposed to explode. I'd imagine there's a fair amount of "not getting caught" training involved. <Sketchboy> So a lot like sex-ed?
<`Neonjoe`> http://www.weatherunderground.com/ <`Neonjoe`> hardcore <vigz0r> its too hard to be normal weather <vigz0r> they had to go UNDERGROUND <cooter> dude they tell u the independant weather, not the fuckin main stream sellout bullshit weather
<Hi-Nu> My brother is trying to sing tot he opening score of LotR <Hi-Nu> The problem is <Hi-Nu> THERE ARE NO FUCKING LYRICS
<benja> A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" <benja> The survey was a huge failure... <benja> In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. <benja> In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. <benja> In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. <benja> In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. <benja> In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. <benja> In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. <benja> And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant