<DannyCat> The Fonz playing DDR would be like, him standing there looking cool throughout the song, but not stepping on anything. Then, right as the results screen came up, he'd whack the side of the monitor and it would give him an AAA.
<Locke|Away> I found a note in one of my old word .docs that said Note to self: Get revenge on Valvados. <Locke|Away> Except I couldn't remember what I was supposed to get revenge for. <Locke|Away> But I trusted my own judgment, so I went with it. <Valvados> ... <Valvados> o.o <Valvados> hmm <Valvados> i dunno what you were supposed to get revenge for, either <Locke|Away> I can only assume you got what was coming to you. Not 100 percent sure, though. <Valvados> well, whatever i did, i guess i deserved it <Locke|Away> Let that possibly be a lesson to you.
<ReFFi|Work> I don't like condom's as it is... <ReFFi|Work> But I use them faithfully <ReFFi|Work> I don't want to be that statistic, being the one time I didn't wear it, she got preg... <Aronnyn|Work> Reffi - I have a friend who affectionately calls her three kids pill, condom, and diaphragm. Nothing worked for her ;) <Endymion> i'd be worried if she calls her fourth one vasectomy
<Korvus> i found a message in a bottle today <Korvus> it floated past <D> what'd it say? <Korvus> it said: "can you put this in a bin for me please?"
<zurt> When the moon hits your eye like a big piece of pie that's amor'e......... When you're hit by a jug in a South Auckland pub....... that's a mao'ri
<xIHaveRicketsx> I almost got killed by some Asian woman today. <xIHaveRicketsx> Asians should learn how to fucking drive. <slamyouinthebutt> But...you're Asian... <xIHaveRicketsx> I'm more like a banana: yellow on the outside, white on the inside.
<destroyer> What does FUBU stand for <Furious> dunno.. for us by us ?! <destroyer> Nope! <furious> Then what does it stand for <destroyer> Farmers Used to Buy Us <Juggalo> No it Means Farmers Used to Beat Us <Furious> Rofl
<The_Capn> Must be a space mummy! <Card> or, an even more mysterious species <Card> The species that is so rare, that there is only one left <Card> and it needs to procreate, so it has come to my bedroom <Card> Yes, I am talking about the elusive "Your Mom"
<[01]-Ex> Did you hear about the new nigger barbie? It comes with 12 kids, aids, and a welfare check.
<@ITV|VimAtWk> oops <@ITV|VimAtWk> just heard a kid fell off our local multi-storey car park today <+chrisss> how high? <@ITV|VimAtWk> high enough for some natural selection
[@DAWG^] song lyrics containing the word "heart" - replace the word with "arse" [@Chisler] hmmm, interesting idea [@DAWG^] for example: [@DAWG^] Celine Dion - my arse will go on [@DAWG^] Bonnie Tyler - Total eclipse of the arse [@DAWG^] Kylie Minogue - Hand on your arse [@DAWG^] Deee-Lite - Groove is in the arse [@DAWG^] Rod Stewart - You are in my arse [@DAWG^] Britney Spears - Deep in my arse [@Chisler] Eurythmics - there must be an angel playing with my arse [@DAWG^] w00t ^^
<otto|sleep> 3. What is the longest river in Scotland? <otto|sleep> Here's your 1st hint: t__ <rP^paveway> teh river <otto|sleep> Here's your 2nd hint: ta_ <rP^paveway> tet <rP^paveway> tat <rP^paveway> taq <rP^paveway> taw <rP^paveway> tae <rP^paveway> tas <rP^paveway> tad <rP^paveway> tag <rP^paveway> tac <rP^paveway> tah <rP^paveway> taf <rP^paveway> taj <rP^paveway> tak <rP^paveway> tab <rP^paveway> tan <rP^paveway> tam <rP^paveway> cmon... <otto|sleep> Time's up! The answer was: tay <rP^paveway> mother of god
<JimAM> I wonder how long before illegal operations really are illegal operations with DRM.
<jestuh> But fans will have to wait a while for the maverick director to complete his bloodstained trilogy as he won't start filming Kill Bill: Vol 3 until 2019. <jestuh> wtf <edit_out> Is he going to breed actors for it?
<pizza_biz> greggdogg: parole's over. he had to go back in. <greggdogg> I figured. <aLfer> what did he do? <Dark_Fox> your mom :D <aLfer> well, i hardly think that would land him in jail. <Dark_Fox> prostitution is illegal <aLfer> touche`
<The_Spaniard:> The White House had an egg hunt today after which they had to admit that there were never any eggs to begin with.
[brianh] smaller boobs are cool (Akira1) hmm [brianh] like the kind that 8 year old girls have [brianh] 18 [brianh] I fucking meant 18 (Akira1) hahaha
<Daleks|> guys i'm seeking for mid 90's hip hop song <Daleks|> that going like this "na, na na na na, na na na na na..." <asterax> ...
<Rokkr> humor's a good thing <Rokkr> i always said if you're an ugly guy and you want to get laid you have 2 choices..play an instrument or make women laugh <tack> or rape them <Rokkr> that's not laid tack, that's assault =p <tack> hey, you do things your way, i do things mine
<Seigfried> In other random news, there's a movie based on I, Robot by Issac Asimov coming out starring Will Smith. <Seigfried> I hear it starts with a 5-minute montage of the cast and crew of the film peeing on Asimov's grave. :P
<Logan> oh shit, i just got coffee stains and meatball sauce on this guys grandma's death certificate
< gt3> a million people applied for the apprentice 2 < gt3> and you know damn well its just gonna get outsourced to india
<Shinsa-Chan> somebody talks english? <KidMorbo> I only speak a few words in english <Shinsa-Chan> well, don` t worry..tell me anything <KidMorbo> "I want to fuck you NOW", for example <KidMorbo> Pero no es algo que se pueda decir para iniciar una conversación ¿no?
badboy> hi any chicks from berwick SaintBloodyMary> I'm from berwick. Let's meet up at your place and have wild kinky SaintBloodyMary> Should I bring my own handcuffs and lube or are you all set? badboy> awesome u wanna come over now SaintBloodyMary> Sure... because I often fuck strangers from online, it's my hobby. badboy> bring it u want badboy> awesome u sound real kewl :() Supreme_101> SaintBloodyMary willing to travel ? SaintBloodyMary> Supreme_101: It depends, I'm willing to travel 100km's per inch that your penis is over the average length. Supreme_101> hmmm... looks like im coming to you then :P
(making NPCs for D&D) <Stefanf> Hurrah! I have decided what to spend the remaining 535 gp on! <Stefanf> The captain of the Stade city guard now owns 267 sheep! <Neko_Ali> Stefanf: make sure to buy him lots of fantasy bling bling. <Neko_Ali> Gold plated chainmail. <Neko_Ali> a solid platinum toasting fork. <Sutekh> gold plated Bikini <Stefanf> Diamond-covered ring of protection? <Neko_Ali> and a totally tricked out low-rider horse with hydraulics! <Stefanf> lmao! <Neko_Ali> can't you just see him on inspection parade, bouncing along with his magical music box blaring from the saddle?
<Karma`> Shit, you know you're in trouble when you find yourself listening to ACDC <Vast|away> yeh, acdc always sneaks up behind me and starts playing and shit <Vast|away> fucking annoying <Karma`> You'd think they would have something better to do eh?
<Borgis> Sad, but true. The lively, fun loving, highly animated and eccentric borgis you know and love is nowhere near as exciting in the flesh. <Borgis> Except for the eccentric part. <Borgis> Andthe fun-loving part. <Tedious_Toad> That's okay, if I was half as lively as I am on the net in real life I'd be arrested and tried for murder, beastiality, sodomy, indecent assault, masturbation in public AND indecent exposure
<MrMonster> just a sec, want to see if I can find this video of a guy shooting himself <tack> that para dice kid? <tack> the one who shot himself after his gf got on the elevator and left? <MrMonster> it can't beat the crazy video at ogrish.com where the guy gets his throat cut <tack> which one? <tack> the one where he gets his throat slit from behind? <tack> the one where he's already dead and they had to refilm it?? <MrMonster> he's quite alive <MrMonster> and the blood is gurgling as he tries to breathe <slh> ah yes <slh> the internet <slh> where else can you have a calm discussion about snuff films at 4 in the morning?
<dman254> so r we gonna talk about anything that has a point <jv-home> of course not. :P <nougatmachine> apparently dman254 is new to irc
<omgwtf> did you guys hear about that actress who got stabbed <omgwtf> reese <omgwtf> reese something <Boon> witherspoon? <omgwtf> no with a knife <omgwtf> HAHA!
<@smash> my friends dad is stationed there at one of its borders.. some secret military shit.. but the surprising part is.. canada has a military which does stuff... :P <+JP2> yeh they get coffee for the american soldiers
<fluffy> also, you drastically reduce your chances of getting prostate cancer through frequent masturbation <fluffy> so I think everyone in this channel is safe
<CoryS> You know it's a bad sign when you call ISP support to change some dns servers around and they ask if the ip address you just gave them was a phone number or IP address.
[ZeroFlaw] I got a better idea for a new cereal, 'GhettO's.' Free brass knuckles in every box. Collect 15 UPC's and get a free boombox!
<Tori_ness> Camels may not be able to solve complex mathematical equations <Tori_ness> But those bastards can still eat your tent
<cheerios> LITTLE GOLDEN BOOKS THAT NEVER MADE IT: <cheerios> 1. You Are Different and That's Bad <cheerios> 2. The Boy Who Died From Eating Too Many Vegetables <cheerios> 3. Daddy's New Wife Robert <cheerios> 4. The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking <cheerios> 5. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mommy Stopped Loving Her <cheerios> 6. The Little Sissy Who Snitched <cheerios> 7. That's it, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption <cheerios> 8. Grandpa Gets a Casket <cheerios> 9. Strangers Have the Best Candy <cheerios> 10. You Were an Accident <cheerios> 11. Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games <cheerios> 12. Sometimes Your Nightmares Are Real <cheerios> 13. And Where Would You Like to Be Buried, Li'l Timmy? <cheerios> 14. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School <cheerios> 15. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
scykon: nope. no matter what you build with lego, if i build the same with duplo its guranteed to be bigger, and therefore better than yours
<p2p> I was reading some thing this morning about a new condom with a built-in vibrator <shxrobert> oh great the rubber that makes you come as you put the fucker on <p2p> the downside is you have to shove the AA battery up your ass <Gollie> downside?
<neo_alex> my maths teacher who looks like gandalf set us a fucking hard half yearly exam <neo_alex> i was just expecting him to go "YOU SHALL NOT PASS! "
<Shark463> hey, did u see stevie wonders new album? <Chaz> No <Shark463> neither has he.
<ShadowFury-> whats command for new nick name * ChoBo is now known as gaynamehere <Whitehorn> '/nick <gaynamehere> err shit
<FuriousC> my computer is performing more illegal operations than doctor kevorkian
* Kavey starts talking to the internet in binary <Alver> 10110101011111010100101011010111010100 Kavey? :) <gavagai> Alver: watch the language <Kavey> Alver: how dare you... my mother is a saint
<glacial> I love school <glacial> Today our term paper due date's set <glacial> Our instructor says that we WILL hand in the paper on time, and she'll accept no excuses except illness, with a note from our doctor, or a death in the immediate family, with a note from the dead member. <glacial> So this wiseass pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?" <glacial> She waits for the laughs to die down and says: <glacial> "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand"