<The_Spaniard:> The White House had an egg hunt today after which they had to admit that there were never any eggs to begin with.
[brianh] smaller boobs are cool (Akira1) hmm [brianh] like the kind that 8 year old girls have [brianh] 18 [brianh] I fucking meant 18 (Akira1) hahaha
<Daleks|> guys i'm seeking for mid 90's hip hop song <Daleks|> that going like this "na, na na na na, na na na na na..." <asterax> ...
<Rokkr> humor's a good thing <Rokkr> i always said if you're an ugly guy and you want to get laid you have 2 choices..play an instrument or make women laugh <tack> or rape them <Rokkr> that's not laid tack, that's assault =p <tack> hey, you do things your way, i do things mine
<Seigfried> In other random news, there's a movie based on I, Robot by Issac Asimov coming out starring Will Smith. <Seigfried> I hear it starts with a 5-minute montage of the cast and crew of the film peeing on Asimov's grave. :P
<Logan> oh shit, i just got coffee stains and meatball sauce on this guys grandma's death certificate
< gt3> a million people applied for the apprentice 2 < gt3> and you know damn well its just gonna get outsourced to india
<Shinsa-Chan> somebody talks english? <KidMorbo> I only speak a few words in english <Shinsa-Chan> well, don` t worry..tell me anything <KidMorbo> "I want to fuck you NOW", for example <KidMorbo> Pero no es algo que se pueda decir para iniciar una conversación ¿no?
badboy> hi any chicks from berwick SaintBloodyMary> I'm from berwick. Let's meet up at your place and have wild kinky SaintBloodyMary> Should I bring my own handcuffs and lube or are you all set? badboy> awesome u wanna come over now SaintBloodyMary> Sure... because I often fuck strangers from online, it's my hobby. badboy> bring it u want badboy> awesome u sound real kewl :() Supreme_101> SaintBloodyMary willing to travel ? SaintBloodyMary> Supreme_101: It depends, I'm willing to travel 100km's per inch that your penis is over the average length. Supreme_101> hmmm... looks like im coming to you then :P
(making NPCs for D&D) <Stefanf> Hurrah! I have decided what to spend the remaining 535 gp on! <Stefanf> The captain of the Stade city guard now owns 267 sheep! <Neko_Ali> Stefanf: make sure to buy him lots of fantasy bling bling. <Neko_Ali> Gold plated chainmail. <Neko_Ali> a solid platinum toasting fork. <Sutekh> gold plated Bikini <Stefanf> Diamond-covered ring of protection? <Neko_Ali> and a totally tricked out low-rider horse with hydraulics! <Stefanf> lmao! <Neko_Ali> can't you just see him on inspection parade, bouncing along with his magical music box blaring from the saddle?
<Karma`> Shit, you know you're in trouble when you find yourself listening to ACDC <Vast|away> yeh, acdc always sneaks up behind me and starts playing and shit <Vast|away> fucking annoying <Karma`> You'd think they would have something better to do eh?
<Borgis> Sad, but true. The lively, fun loving, highly animated and eccentric borgis you know and love is nowhere near as exciting in the flesh. <Borgis> Except for the eccentric part. <Borgis> Andthe fun-loving part. <Tedious_Toad> That's okay, if I was half as lively as I am on the net in real life I'd be arrested and tried for murder, beastiality, sodomy, indecent assault, masturbation in public AND indecent exposure
<MrMonster> just a sec, want to see if I can find this video of a guy shooting himself <tack> that para dice kid? <tack> the one who shot himself after his gf got on the elevator and left? <MrMonster> it can't beat the crazy video at ogrish.com where the guy gets his throat cut <tack> which one? <tack> the one where he gets his throat slit from behind? <tack> the one where he's already dead and they had to refilm it?? <MrMonster> he's quite alive <MrMonster> and the blood is gurgling as he tries to breathe <slh> ah yes <slh> the internet <slh> where else can you have a calm discussion about snuff films at 4 in the morning?
<dman254> so r we gonna talk about anything that has a point <jv-home> of course not. :P <nougatmachine> apparently dman254 is new to irc
<omgwtf> did you guys hear about that actress who got stabbed <omgwtf> reese <omgwtf> reese something <Boon> witherspoon? <omgwtf> no with a knife <omgwtf> HAHA!
<@smash> my friends dad is stationed there at one of its borders.. some secret military shit.. but the surprising part is.. canada has a military which does stuff... :P <+JP2> yeh they get coffee for the american soldiers
<fluffy> also, you drastically reduce your chances of getting prostate cancer through frequent masturbation <fluffy> so I think everyone in this channel is safe
<CoryS> You know it's a bad sign when you call ISP support to change some dns servers around and they ask if the ip address you just gave them was a phone number or IP address.
[ZeroFlaw] I got a better idea for a new cereal, 'GhettO's.' Free brass knuckles in every box. Collect 15 UPC's and get a free boombox!
<Tori_ness> Camels may not be able to solve complex mathematical equations <Tori_ness> But those bastards can still eat your tent
<cheerios> LITTLE GOLDEN BOOKS THAT NEVER MADE IT: <cheerios> 1. You Are Different and That's Bad <cheerios> 2. The Boy Who Died From Eating Too Many Vegetables <cheerios> 3. Daddy's New Wife Robert <cheerios> 4. The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking <cheerios> 5. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mommy Stopped Loving Her <cheerios> 6. The Little Sissy Who Snitched <cheerios> 7. That's it, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption <cheerios> 8. Grandpa Gets a Casket <cheerios> 9. Strangers Have the Best Candy <cheerios> 10. You Were an Accident <cheerios> 11. Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games <cheerios> 12. Sometimes Your Nightmares Are Real <cheerios> 13. And Where Would You Like to Be Buried, Li'l Timmy? <cheerios> 14. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School <cheerios> 15. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
scykon: nope. no matter what you build with lego, if i build the same with duplo its guranteed to be bigger, and therefore better than yours
<p2p> I was reading some thing this morning about a new condom with a built-in vibrator <shxrobert> oh great the rubber that makes you come as you put the fucker on <p2p> the downside is you have to shove the AA battery up your ass <Gollie> downside?
<neo_alex> my maths teacher who looks like gandalf set us a fucking hard half yearly exam <neo_alex> i was just expecting him to go "YOU SHALL NOT PASS! "
<Shark463> hey, did u see stevie wonders new album? <Chaz> No <Shark463> neither has he.
<ShadowFury-> whats command for new nick name * ChoBo is now known as gaynamehere <Whitehorn> '/nick <gaynamehere> err shit
<FuriousC> my computer is performing more illegal operations than doctor kevorkian
* Kavey starts talking to the internet in binary <Alver> 10110101011111010100101011010111010100 Kavey? :) <gavagai> Alver: watch the language <Kavey> Alver: how dare you... my mother is a saint
<glacial> I love school <glacial> Today our term paper due date's set <glacial> Our instructor says that we WILL hand in the paper on time, and she'll accept no excuses except illness, with a note from our doctor, or a death in the immediate family, with a note from the dead member. <glacial> So this wiseass pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?" <glacial> She waits for the laughs to die down and says: <glacial> "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand"
<Trivbot> 18. A baby doctor is a _________.? <Smitty> o.0 <Rhodz> fucking fast learner
<Twizzlers> I wanna become a counsler so i can tell rape victims they asked for it.
<Slap_Shot> scooby doo 2 beat passion of the christ in movie theaters <LeafsFan> i bet the pope blamed those meddling kids :P
<dizzy[subnova]> A YO WHERE MAH NIGGAZ AT?! <P_40E> over there <P_40E> take your stuff with you <P_40E> never come back
<GL> when I wake_lan each morning <GL> and the tcpdump beats down on me <natx> only gnuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu can set you freeeeeeeeeee <GL> and I know we belong join --input=you --output=me
* Bobber lights up the crack pipe and takes a hit * Bobber passes it to Jesus * Jesus takes a hit <Jesus> Argh, my dad is gonna KILL me
<StreetPsychologist> Wow I just met a chick online who lives about 10 miles from me. <punkpet> and her name is ted <StreetPsychologist> NERD SEX! <punkpet> create some nerdlings <punkpet> when he's born it will be the first and last time he sees female gentalia <StreetPsychologist> Our geographical proximity is making me thing MARRIAGE already. <punkpet> lol <phenobarbital> you might even take a shower today <HellKat> no computer nerds breeding, next you know we'll have children running about with 20 fingers for more efficent keyboard use and an extra arm for cyber sex
Tester Bob> Maybe Scott will get fired if we send really bad things over his company's network Tester Bob> Porn Tester Bob> Fuck Tester Bob> Vagina Abdullah> "Bush/Cheney in '04"
<vidkid7> he told us about some kid who turned in a render of a hunting knife for his project <vidkid7> and when he asked to see the wireframe "you sure?" <vidkid7> "yeah, I need to see it" <vidkid7> "...ok" <vidkid7> and he turned it to wireframe <vidkid7> and had written "I'LL KILL YOU" over and over and over like a thousand times behind the image <vidkid7> @_@
<Rjx> they really need to make formatting a laptop easier, for lazy people like me <Rjx> they could make them like etch-a-sketches <Rjx> you just turn them upside down and shake them <Rjx> and BAM, new install
<rzrblade> Yeah so my therepist told me the other day I had "skeptical realism." <rzrblade> I looked at him like, "what the fuck?" <rzrblade> And he says, "yeah i just made that up."
Pika98765: then stick it in the center and it won't be so ugly :p Amarok: ... Amarok: My father just woke up screaming "Suck my scrotum you cocksucking chink whores."
<Tso-JA> I love food... which is why my 6 pack is covered with a good 2 inches of flub <Targeter> you're not fat you simply have "stealth abs"
<tom_0369> man <tom_0369> im never moving to seatle washington <tom_0369> i flew over it and it was raining and gray as fuck <tom_0369> it was depressing <sammich> when was this? <tom_0369> flight simluator 2004
Belmat: When I was working at the old college, I had the bursar phone me up and say "my internet isn't working" Belmat: So I went down to have a look, and she had IE open, and was typing "internet" in the address bar
<Sabdo> on one of those speech-to-text programs my friend ripped ass onto the mic. <Sabdo> and it typed out "France" <Sabdo> we were like, wtf?
<grl_05>hi guys <integrating> hey baby, i wish i were your derivative because then i'd be tangent to all your curves <FifthElement> i wish i were your integral because then i'd be the area under all your curves
<Asha`monkey> One time I was watching porn for like twenty minutes. When I was finished, I took off my headphones and found the sound blaring out of my regular speakers as well. <Asha`monkey> My mom told me to turn it down.
<Ikaruwa> if i ever had to fire someone, i would do it scavenger hunt style. you know, give them a piece of paper with a riddle on it... <Ikaruwa> and then when they figure out the riddle, itd point them towards the next piece of paper with a riddle on it... <Ikaruwa> and keep doing that until theyve collected all their things and walked out the door. after which, theyd find a piece of paper under a rock that said "youre fired."