<Ded`work> "Roses are red, violets are blue, all of my base, are belong to you"...heh, cute <Ded`work> a geek valetine poem <Arcturus> Roses are #FF0000, violets are #0000FF <phillys> rofl
<SCarfAcE> Russia has sent in the army to bolster a week-long struggle to rescue 10 tons of beer trapped under Siberian ice, Itar-Tass news agency said Tuesday. A lorry carrying the beer sank when trying to cross the frozen Irtysh river, and a rescue team of six divers, 10 workers and a modified T-72 tank from the emergencies ministry have so far failed to save the load. <SCarfAcE> now that's a great allocation of resources! <Abstruse> scar: And all we had to get that baby out of the well were firefighters with Vasoline.
<Gizmog> I ever tell you guys about my trip to the beach? <Gizmog> Long story short: I scored. <Inferior_Minion> A touchdown???? <Gizmog> Kinda. :P <Gizmog> She took off her bikini <Gizmog> And I touched her on down. <Inferior_Minion> 2 hand touch or full contact <Inferior_Minion> ?? <Gizmog> Let me put it this way: <Gizmog> I sacked her <Gizmog> And pretty soon, she was behind the line of scrimmage <Inferior_Minion> Did she ask for her quarter back?
<Bunge> The Clinton administration created a $300 billion surplus, in a few years the Bush administration has turned that into a $400 billion deficit, mostly spent on "the war on terror" <Bunge> and they claim that is good financial management? <Bunge> they are a bunch of cnuts <Kormiic> At least now I'm not terrified... <Kormiic> Oh... wait...
<Pr|muS> (H|J|nX) BBS Warez? <Pr|muS> (H|J|nX) What do you have BBS related? <hydro> wtf is be back soon warez
<brenty|Away> I have to get my afro cut tommorow. Im sad.
<Spitty> brent is my personal hero
<Spitty> YOU HAVE AN AFRO YOU HOMO!?!?!
<Spitty> k, brent is not my hero anymore
<Icez> if he was a superhero, he would be afro ass basher
<Spitty> its now........Sivart
<brenty|Away> You just asked me for a kiss, why are you
calling me a homo?
<Spitty> .....um....LOOK OVER THERE!
<Icez> brent, he thinks if you kiss him he will be turn strait
<Siv{SoSeksi}> I have hair half way to my butt Spitty
<DragonD> didnt need to know that Siv...
<Spitty> yeah, but not a fro
<Siv{SoSeksi}> true
<brenty|Away> You will show respect to the fro.
<Siv{SoSeksi}> DragonD, you asked if I trimmed my pubic hair
in PM 5 mintues ago :S
<Spitty> is it really a fro? or just a gathering of hair?
<Icez> you a black guy brent??
<Icez> do you have soul?
<brenty|Away> African American dude,
<Spitty> oh yeha, yur black....today...
<Icez> I see, so, your from africa?
<brenty|Away> Detroit. Close enough.
<brenty|Away> Im waiting for my reperations so I can buy a
wife.
[@flu1d`]: i wanna fuck a deaf girl [@tomato]: thats kinda sick [@flu1d`]: so i can hear her go "woaoaaaaaarrrrrr" [@pitchblende]: hah [@flu1d`]: like a wookie [@tomato]: lol wtf
<+MrKite> ah, no more obvious sign of intense boredom than taking a bendy figure of Mickey Mouse and making it look like he's pointing at his crotch
<The_Spaniard> The only good part of American Idol is laughing at the auditions <The_Spaniard> Ha ha girl fliping out <The_Spaniard> girl lost 80 pounds and was told she sucked <[P]aradox> Spaniard, she does suck... only difference is, now she spits instead of swallowing.
<Demamas> <Jew> I WORSHIP THIS GOD, WHO SAYS THIS AND THIS AND THIS. <Christian> AND THERE WAS THIS OTHER CARPENTER GUY WHO DID SOME STUFF, HE'S FUCKING GREAT. DIE, JEW! <Muslim> I AGREE TOTALLY, NOW I WILL KILL YOU BOTH! <Renzian> THEN OPTIMUS PRIME SWEEPS IN WITH LAS0RBEAMS :D
<Yonjuuni> Goddamn charity telemarketers. <Yonjuuni> Bad enough that they're telemarketing in the first place, but when they have the nerve to try to fucking lay a guilt trip on you... <Gally> what was it for? <Yonjuuni> Sponsoring poor kids to go to a hockey game. <Gally> i'd rather give poor kids food. <BrianS> I'd rather turn poor kids into food. <Gally> A modest proposal.
<{LD}> roses are red
<{LD}> violets are blue
<{LD}> in soviet russia
<{LD}> poems write you
Primus521: hey dude the funniest thing happened to me today Primus521: im at walmart and this chick is buying a box of tampons and they are missing the upc and wont ring up Primus521: so the cashier tells his buddy to get a price check on tampax Primus521: the dude looks at him and says, "the kind u push in, or the kind you hammer in?" Primus521: lol Primus521: turns out he misheard him Primus521: he thought he said thumbtacs Primus521: you should have seen the look on the chicks face Primus521: omfg Primus521: til the day i die Primus521: i will never forget it
<sangre> what operating system do you use? <sangre> which version of windows? <CHICAGO> IBM
<Grezshnaw> I didn't discover masturbation until I was around 12/13, and then it was by dressing a pillow up in my sisters clothers and humping it.
<Drav> where the hell can a well-intended, modest, christian fellow go to get a handjob around here? <ktrout> look no further than the end of your arm <CoverSlide> Drav: are you under 12? <CoverSlide> because you could become catholic
<@GM`> My god damn script is disobeying me. <@GM`> It's like I programmed a woman >:(
<Surye> My mom was like "Why don't you put on "Wake Me Up" By Wham for your alarm"? I just looked at her and said "So you want me to wake up gay?"
<budb> i find chicks in real life, and they are dating someone else, chicks find me online, and they are bisexual guys
<+l4mby> HOLY COW ! <+l4mby> there's a cockatoo on here selling for 12,000$ <@Phoenix> Must be good in bed or something
<Prescient1> what's the syntax for sending a message to the whole channel on a timer? <|sliq|> /timer 0 (delay in seconds) msg #channelname Message <|sliq|> don't do 0 0, you'll flood out right away * Prescient1 Quit (Excess Flood)
<nitrofenix> fucking cunt <nitrofenix> i mean <nitrofenix> er <nitrofenix> distasteful individual.
<CG> I just fell asleep watching the tennis <CG> all I heard was "uhnn oof uhnn oooooof uhnnn" from the two girls on tv <CG> sounded alright ;)
<gelfwag> So, I'm in the administration room now. What do I do to really fuck them up bad? <@mooie> how did you get on the computer in there? <+greg> give the computer a good shock to fuck up the hard drive or just knock it over <+greg> and burn the windows/office/etc CDs <gelfwag> haha! this is awesome the CD cases are melting. <gelfwag> the mouse is melting it's so awesome <gelfwag> oh shit the mousepad caught fire <+greg> dump it somewhere <gelfwag> fuck the room's getting filled with smoke what the hell do I do now?! <+greg> let it start burning then get away and pull a fire alarm somewhere in the halls <gelfwag> hahaha <gelfwag> oh shit the library bitch is coming wtf do I do now?!?!?!! <+greg> Beat the shit out of her and run.. or if she saw your face, kill the ho and move to mexico * Quits: gelfwag (Connection reset by peer)
<AlmightyBob> I built a tesla coil for electronics in high school. It worked once. It's entire construction connsumated in one arc of electricity to to my lab partners left ass cheek.
<jesus> hey hows it doin <jesus> any little children in here <Nyghtshade> ITS JESUS <Nyghtshade> HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET OUT OF MY TRUNK
<NEGRO> i find out if i can get 1.5mbit cable tomarrow <NEGRO> comcast keep dicking us around <NEGRO> "yes, service is available in your area" <NEGRO> "oh, its available, but not in your neighborhood, but in your area!" <NEGRO> "oh, it is available in your neighborhood." <NEGRO> "well, maybe its not, we just like getting your hopes up you stupid fuck ass!"
<Chicken> i used to work at the zoo cleaning up crap <DigitallyChallenged> hahaha <Chicken> they paid my 645 an hour <Chicken> me <DigitallyChallenged> woah holy shit <DigitallyChallenged> i could do that! <DigitallyChallenged> gimmie a shovel! <Chicken> no <Chicken> 6.45 <DigitallyChallenged> oh <Chicken> LOL <DigitallyChallenged> well that's not as good...
<DoCa-Cola> dude, i just saw this porn video, every 30 seconds it cut to a turtle just sitting on a rock... <DoCa-Cola> What kinda shit is that? <SilentAvenger> DoCa-Cola, Turtle porn. <DoCa-Cola> It's like suck suck suck suck bang bang TURTLE
<Rosss> I watched a crazy japanese gangster movie today <Rosss> A yakuza boss drowns a hooker hopped up on heroin in a kiddie pool full of her own feces <Lev> Was it a comedy? <Rosss> uh no <Lev> Oh
maddox> hehe if I still lived at my parents' house I'd be grounded for sure khoveraki> the basement is still part of the house, maddox.
* Pilgrim has joined #lockergnome <Pilgrim> is it just me, or did this chan get bigger since the last time i was here? :p <Rage> when were you last here? <Siren> yeah, we knocked out that wall ---------------------------------> <Siren> :P
<Homer> OMG!!! <Homer> OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG <Homer> OWOWOWOOWOWOW <Homer> SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT FUCK AHHH MOTHERFUCKING HELL THIS HURTS <Homer> AKINFINAasnloannSANFINADFNfANfaNfafa <Homer> FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK <Homer> AOISMFASINASINISNAIMDMASDMA *** Homer has quit IRC (Quit: ) ...time passes... *** Homer has joined #hackers <Homer> whoever said that shaving your balls is fun, is wrong <Homer> very, very wrong... :(
<Elly> ChanServ is actually a 14-year-old sex slave who sits in Bergee's apartment at a PC typing out commands over and over <Bergee> 14? try 16 <Bergee> I have some class
<+darthpony> geez dude <+darthpony> with my last gf <+darthpony> I made the most terrible fruedian slip <+darthpony> we were sitting at breakfast the one day, and I wanted to ask her "pass the sugar please" <+darthpony> instead I said "you're ruining my life, you fucking bitch"
crossoverfanatic: well, go to chinatown in your state, if its possible and soak in the atmosphere crossoverfanatic: its fun crossoverfanatic: word of caution, wear bright colours crossoverfanatic: preferably red DWKomodo: why's that? crossoverfanatic: red is a lucky colour DWKomodo: that explains why communism caught on so well....
<Moonpie> one time <Moonpie> this kid was talking about how hitler only had one nut <Moonpie> and i said 'poor hitler' and got kicked out of the class
<evildemi> what's your yearbook quote gonna say? <helveti> "TRAPPED IN A YEARBOOK FACTORY PLEASE SEND HELP"
<Casey8> Diana Ross' husband died <Tarrier> how <Casey8> fell while climbing in South Africa or something <JennAway> that's sad <Bubbaprog> i guess there is a mountain high enough
<@a-arse> sheeit, think me mum saw pr0n <@a-arse> alt-tab doesn't work when the other window is porn too :(
*** Now talking in #blackpride <Rosen> no, in a perfect world we'd be treated as equals <@Ph43rDnky> no, in a perfect world we'd be treated as superiors <Jaayy> In a perfect world, you wouldn't even exist! Whadya say to that? <@Ph43rDnky> that's not a very appropriate comment for a black pride channel <Rosen> shut up jaay you fag <Jaayy> Oh, you mean this is a channel for proud black people? I thought it was for white people who are proud of their slaves <@Ph43rDnky> Jaayy, stop now or I'll ban you. <Jaayy> Alright fine... anybody play warcraft 3? <Therman> I do <Jaayy> Want to join a clan? <Therman> Sure, what's it called? <Jaayy> K-hadgar's <Jaayy> K-razy <Jaayy> K-illers. *** You were kicked by Ph43rDnky (bastard)
[Cerixus] I'll give you $50 if you'll stop trying to tell me how to save money.
<Karl[LB]> I put Linkin Park on and my cat goes running to the speakers and starts attacking them
<frubsen> NEVER tell a girl that your dad just died so she feel sorry for you and go out with you <frubsen> cause when she comes to your door and your dad answers <frubsen> you got some major problems <frubsen> FUCK i'm screwed
<@MORA> THE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN <@MORA> Between 18 and 20 a woman is like Africa. Half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile deltas. <@MORA> Between 21 and 30 a woman is like America. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash. <@MORA> Between 31 and 35 she is like India. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty. <@MORA> Between 36 and 40 a woman is like France. Gently ageing but still a warm and desirable place to visit. <@MORA> Between 41 and 50 she is like Yugoslavia. Lost the war, haunted by past mistakes and massive reconstruction is now necessary. <@MORA> Between 51 and 60, she is like Russia. Very wide and borders are unpatrolled. The frigid climate keeps people away. <@MORA> Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Mongolia, with a glorious and all conquering past but alas, no future. <@MORA> After 70, she becomes like Afghanistan. Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.