<[SA]Mastiff> No. You are underage, and should not drink. <[SA]Mastiff> Go back to playing with Legos. <MaryFuckingPoppins> I don't have any Legos =( <Rigel> Fuck you Mastiff, Legos kick ass <Rigel> I set them up as the OPFOR while playing with my Moses Action Figure and army men <Rigel> The Legos lost because moses had the Ark of the Convenant <Rigel> And just like in the Bible it shot lightning and stuff. <Rigel> And then the Army Men put the legos in a concentration camp and that was the end of the Third Reich <Rigel> And THEN Moses beat hitlers face in with the Ten Commandments <Rigel> "Thou Shalt Not Be a Faggotyass Dictator" <Rigel> "Thou Shalt Not Raise the Undead" <Rigel> "Thou Shalt not put foxy agents in skintight leather and give them silenced Sten guns" <Rigel> And then back into the Time Portal he jumped, taking the army men with him! <Rigel> I should film this shit
<Bota> well, either my balls smell like propane, or my propane smells like balls : either way i think we have a problem
<@HollowmaN> The goverment was sterilizing retarded people for a few decades but stopped in the 70's. luckily i was born in the 80's
<Thom`Manson> "The Hammurderer is quickly becoming regarded as the worst-received advertising mascot since Kool-Aid's 1989 discontinuation of "The Grapist," a huge purple monster who sodomizes thirsty children." <Manboy> hahaha <Manboy> OH YEAH <Manboy> (sobbing) <Thom`Manson> hahahaha <Manboy> OH YEAH!!! <Thom`Manson> hahaha
<ascian> why do you guys need a car? <Odat> cause people look at you funny when you run down the highway making vroom noises with your mouth
ashgromnies: Let's play some Oregon Trail technocloak: I've never played that game since fourth grade . . . the character I named after myself DIED on my birthday.
<ducklord> You may think I'm retarded, but I actually know some things <ducklord> Like the square root of my telephone number
<[HCC]Freeman> Yiff is another way of saying fuck? Awesome. <Cel> ....uh huh. <Mage[CS]> "I want to yiff you like an animal..."
<Bonz> Light bulbs are not actually "light bulbs" but dark absorbers. When you turn them on, they suck the dark out of the room. You can prove this by holding your hand under a "light bulb". The dark will stack up under your hand where its path to the absorber is blocked by your hand. When they quit working and turn a dark color, it's not because they burnt out, it's because they're full.
* Kosaku has Lee raped by some random tentacles. * Lee dies. <Tash> Shit. <Tash> Its Rape 'o clock. <Kyle> .. <Kyle> What? <Tash> Oh wait. <Tash> I'm reading my watch wrong.
youatemypancreas: Dammit. youatemypancreas: Diablo won't work. it keeps minimizing itself. >_< Areku: *pats.* Areku: Oh hey. I've got a great plan. youatemypancreas: Oh? Areku: I'm going to set up a murder. And just before I murder the person, I'm going to ask. "Are you scared?" And when they say yes, I'll reply "You shouldn't be, you're on Scare tactics!" Then when they're all happy, and relieved they're not going to die.. I'll stab 'em good.
<Chocoboko> I wonder what things would have been like had Square stuck with Nintendo. <DragonFogel> I doubt we'd see FFT. =P <Soulcleaver> Imagine FF7- with all the "objectionable" and "offensive" material removed. <Indogutsu> <Barret> You Shinra are the vermin, robbing the Planet of its dreams! And that makes you King Vermin! So hush your mouth, you... you... jackaninny!
<Lemmih> a_shadow: You could start rollerskating. That was how I meet my first girlfriend. <Sonarman> or you could just masturbate to porn
<SumGeye> I met God once. <Bern> Ok... <SumGeye> Yeah. He was on the same bus as me. He smelt like whiskey.
<Godsey> I have a great idea for a porn movie <Godsey> Humping Dumpty <_megan_> we had a 70 year old man fixing our huge fence while you sat your ass and watched him <Godsey> all the kings horses and all the kings men couldn't satisfy Dumpty again <mannyh> haha
<Fox_Jenny> alan, please dont wear socks tonight <Borlath_Mon> Yeah. Use a condom, you cheap fucker
<[K]orangeboy> nah, i live in wales, which is like the dirty retarded cousin that lives chained in the basement of the uk
<@Infinik> Do you think the Matrix ever gets netsplits? <warpunk> Sure. <@Infinik> Quits: Trinity (smith.matrix.com jackson.matrix.com) <@Infinik> Quits: Morpheus (Quit: Observe the powers of the red pill, bitch) <@Infinik> Smith has been kicked by Neo (Cloner) (-M-a-t-r-i-x-) <warpunk> Heh. <Swanky-Tuna> Why would you take a pill from a bald black man in the middle of nowhere? <warpunk> Cuz I paid for 'em! <Swanky-Tuna> there was a flash about that <Swanky-Tuna> everybody started smiling as he was passing out <warpunk> All your matrix are belong to us. <Swanky-Tuna> and trinity was just a crossdresser <@Infinik> Haha <Infinik> "The Trinity?" "The Trinity who hacked the IRS d-base?" "That was a long time ago." "I thought you were a guy." "That was a long time ago too."
<ld>: my parents got really pissed at me for my grades <leet eskimo>: sux to be you <ld>: but i ownd their faces off <leet eskimo>: how <ld>: well "i cant belive you have a 50 in gym" "it's ok, i had subway for lunch"
<drakin> 6666666666666op'''''' <drakin> sorry, turn my back and a kitty sits on the keyboard.. <Stokesy> fuck you all you fucking fuckers <Stokesy> sorry, that was my parrot <drakin> isnt it spelt torrettes..
<I_D> what's this I hear about you and the arab army? <bugkiller> I_D: nha.. but the Israeli defense army didnt accept me to intellegence devision for some fucked up reason <[-Locky-]> get on one of your jockey camels <[-Locky-]> and haul ass over here <I_D> he can't locky <I_D> that's a military vehicle over there
<[RIT]Vyper> RIT women are like parking spaces. They're either taken or handicapped.
<Jim_McNeat> Is there like a way to put a compiler in "Just trust me on that one" mode?
<Yurijin> HOLY CRAP <Yurijin> i was playing a song <SoSul> hellos <Yurijin> and forgot i left some porn video in the play list <Yurijin> and all of a sudden <Drayth> ROFL <MonopolyMan> XD. <Yurijin> "AHHHH <music ends>" "OHH OHH OH <slobber> OHHH"
<DthPool> Im trying to milk myself <DthPool> its not working <DthPool> my nipples hurt <TranceDude88> say hello to bash.org
<Min1ster> I have been captured My Regime has fallen and my sons are dead. But I have some good news..... I just saved hundreds on my car insurance by switching to Geico
<@MrAnderson> Renegade0FX: And with the clicking, came the ticking, of the page that was no more <@MrAnderson> Renegade0FX: Quoth the server, 404
<cayde> It's getting harder to get a summer job these days <tam> cayde: maybe cos it is winter?
<riesto> So I discovered that half my students are failing because they just read bash.org every day in class. <tumnest> How'd you determine that? <riesto> One of them *accidentally* e-mailed me explaining how no one does anything in the class, dumbasses. <riesto> So if you're reading this, students, GET TO FUCKING WORK! MODULE 10!
* vryxnr does a happy dance again <vryxnr> :D <vryxnr> @--< <vryxnr> @-|-< <vryxnr> @-?-< <vryxnr> oops <Keioto> hahah <Keioto> you broke your arm
<codespace> who is the father of genetics? <codespace> mendel? <Swish> Dr. Genetalia <codespace> go team.
-([AfZ]Curse)- i just ripped the most putrid fart ever -([AfZ]Curse)- and my fucking dog looked at me and walked out of my room
<s2k|D_Holt> anyone have scented condoms? <s2k|Alchemeron> after using them, all condoms are scented
<burntash> try this shit on for a size, a telemarketer just called me and when i answered hello they told me "please hold on, all our staff are currently busy"
<LadyLazaruss> LOL my student just sent me an email with the subject line "hey baby" <Allahkat> HAHAHAHA <bunnie> whoa <LadyLazaruss> closely followed with an "oops... disregard that last email!!!" <Loser> hahahaha <Allahkat> LMFAO
<Adora> you know what I just realized boobs are really good for? <Enigma> holding stuff up? <Adora> they're PERFECT for cleaning fingerprints off cds <Adora> all soft and squishy <Enigma> really? who knew <Adora> no hard edges <Enigma> my next guess was going to be luring sexually deprived teenaged geeks into helping you with your computer problems
<Pascal> Aieee! On a company's resume submission form: What level of education do you possess? yes no * Pascal answers 'yes' <fEk> Who would answer 'no' to that? :) <Pascal> The person who designed this form?
<Snoody> I am wearing a sports bra. It makes my boobs look all flat and weird. <tanjo> as opposed to ?
<pakman> opinions are like assholes, everyone has one and they all stink <goatasaur> but they're fun to poke at