hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21142 Approved Quotes | 1 in Moderation Queue
#138652 [ + | - ] 45
<Vikki> everyone send me more pics of you all :)
<Vikki> lag lag lag lag lag lag lag lag lag lag
* Vikki was kicked by Vikki (stop flooding)
#138651 [ + | - ] 264
<NE|KevinDeux> would ME run good on a p100, 32mb ram?
<[xeno]Nirox> sure....if its being draged behind a car
#138646 [ + | - ] 55
<Guitar4life> there's no such thing as humping too many
grandma's
#138641 [ + | - ] 25
Skywalker> we need a transportation systems like the Europians
Pheylan> smelly?
#138640 [ + | - ] 350
<Insomniak> so anyways
<Insomniak> I had just got back from a school camping trip
<Insomniak> and I had a school tent being kept in a black
garbage bag
<Insomniak> i had to return it that morning
<Insomniak> i was running late
<Insomniak> so I pick up a black bag and go to school
<Insomniak> and later in the day, my Outdor Ed teacher comes
up to me
<Insomniak> "do you know what was in that bag you brought me?"
<Insomniak> me: "uh, a tent?"
<Insomniak> "no"
<Insomniak> "soiled diapers"
<Insomniak> i had brought the wrong bag
#138636 [ + | - ] 61
if you get turned down for a job, its just like getting turned
down for a date, only girls dont often give you the courtesy
of "Thanks for applying, we will keep your resume on file.
have a nice day!"
#138634 [ + | - ] 330
<sean> And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto
the chicken,
<sean> "Thou shalt cross the road."
<sean> And the chicken crossed the road
<krohnjw__> that chicken should have been like "back off god,
im doing this my way"
<krohnjw__> then he would have gotten owned
#138632 [ + | - ] -12
Crazzeh Timmeh: dude
Crazzeh Timmeh: i just found out
Crazzeh Timmeh: im so sorry
Crazzeh Timmeh: i had no idea you were gay
KashJC: hahahaha
KashJC: are u that bored?
Crazzeh Timmeh: could you tell?
KashJC: yes
KashJC: lol
Crazzeh Timmeh: wanna fuck
Crazzeh Timmeh: ?
Crazzeh Timmeh: you know, since ur gay and all
KashJC: nah, not rite now...kinda busy
Crazzeh Timmeh: later?
KashJC: aight, when im done with this stuff
Crazzeh Timmeh: kk
Crazzeh Timmeh: who is stuff? never heard of him
KashJC: dont ask, we're busy
Crazzeh Timmeh: bastard, you're cheating on me now!
KashJC: hahah
KashJC: sorrie daddy
Crazzeh Timmeh: i knew you were a dirty whore
#138631 [ + | - ] 765
<Vict0r> they made a hackers 3?
<Vict0r> i didn't know that
<Majuju> they made a hackers 2?
<jules> they made a hackers 2?
<mnerd> what's hackers
<jules> winner.
#138626 [ + | - ] 416
kobbie|pot has Quit iRC (Write Error: Broken pipe)
kobbie|work has joined.
#138625 [ + | - ] 464
<+cX`KEm1KaL`ns> lol i came up to one of those domain names
that arent registered
<+cX`KEm1KaL`ns> here are the top 5 searches performed
<+cX`KEm1KaL`ns> 1. naked
<+cX`KEm1KaL`ns> 2. boobs
<+cX`KEm1KaL`ns> 3. big boobs
<+cX`KEm1KaL`ns> 4. vagina
<+cX`KEm1KaL`ns> 5. yu-gi-oh
#138618 [ + | - ] 550
<Joe> I know everything there is to know about masturbating
<Tiffany> teach me joe
<Joe> OK WELL FIRST FIND YOUR PENIS
<Joe> YOU GOTS ONE OF THOSE RIGHT??
<Joe> BECAUSE OTHERWISE THIS IS GOING TO BE REALLY REALLY
DIFFICULT
<Tiffany> o damn
<Tiffany> nevermind then
#138616 [ + | - ] 504
<Borlath_Mon> Dammit...what's a good ascii equivalent to "get
down tonight"?
<Fox_Alan> dunno..
<Borlath_Mon> Dammit.
<Borlath_Mon> I'm trying to put together an ascii version of a
song
<Borlath_Mon> Do a little dance
<Borlath_Mon> :D-<
<Borlath_Mon> :D|-<
<Borlath_Mon> :D/-<
<Borlath_Mon> :D|-<
<Borlath_Mon> :D-<
<Borlath_Mon> :D|-<
<Borlath_Mon> :D/-<
<Borlath_Mon> make a little love
<Borlath_Mon> 8=w=D
<Borlath_Mon> 8==wD
<Borlath_Mon> 8=w=D
<Borlath_Mon> 8w==D
<Borlath_Mon> 8=w=D
<Borlath_Mon> 8==wD
<Borlath_Mon> 8=w=D
<Borlath_Mon> Get down tonight?
<Fox_Alan> hmmmmmmm
<Borlath_Mon> It's a tricky one
#138615 [ + | - ] 327
<+Myke> omg you're such a gay poopooface
<+Myke> be mature
#138604 [ + | - ] 427
<cortXbomb> yo, I need some good shit to put on my resume that
makes it look lilke I use my computers for more than general
piracy
#138597 [ + | - ] 227
«@ Darth_Angelus» thats what happens when you play avp2 too
much
« TheMaskedMan » You get hairy palms and go blind
<JonR> no tmm
<JonR> thats masturbation
« TheMaskedMan » oh
« TheMaskedMan » I confuse the two
#138596 [ + | - ] 113
OAGreatLordAxion: You worry me sometimes, Tom.
Blast Enforcer: Good.
Blast Enforcer: I like to keep people on their toes.
OAGreatLordAxion: U and your homoerotic thoughts...
OAGreatLordAxion: u sure thats not on thier knees?
#138594 [ + | - ] 121
<jcarle> BangBus is a standard that all us real men should
measure ourselves up to.
<jcarle> Well, maybe not, but it'd sure be cool to do the same
thing and have it work for us for once.
<chaind> lol
#138593 [ + | - ] 335
Blast Enforcer: oh, and just so you know, I've never stuck
anything up my ass, and nor have I thought about it.
OAGreatLordAxion: ummm
OAGreatLordAxion: i didnt wonder
Blast Enforcer: oh
Blast Enforcer: ok
OAGreatLordAxion: right up until you said that.
OAGreatLordAxion: now im concerned.
#138583 [ + | - ] 217
<@phessler> expecting people to be competent went out of style
when the dot-com boom hit
#138576 [ + | - ] 249
Syn0P: RESPOND
aj64804: no
#138572 [ + | - ] 215
(@Miz): have we all gone outside to look at mars yet?
(@Chris_): cba
(@Chris_): its quicker to go to naza.gov and download a high
res image
(@Chris_): nasa.gov *
(@Miz): and print it out then stick it on the window
(@Chris_): exactly!
#138548 [ + | - ] 296
«@ Geza» how do u shut it down?!
«@ Geza» 2 shut down sum 1's chan?!
<PcChip> well
<PcChip> try this,
<PcChip> type: /quit shutdown #cafe_paradise
«@ Geza» ur lieing
«@ Geza» it will kick me
«@ Geza» u gay
Quits: Geza (~htrsh@owns.tha.world.edu) (Quit: shutdown #
cafe_paradise)
#138546 [ + | - ] 206
<BoZo> Hmmm, this is scary, I was writing something today
(with pen and paper!) and then I made an error and for like 5
seconds I wanted to undo :/       <BoZo> With a Ctrl+Z
<kdub> haha
<FyreDaug> BoZo you geek
<kdub> i was drawing something on a piece of paper in class
<kdub> and a computer was right in front of me too
<kdub> when i messed up drawing
<BoZo> It felt weird :p
<kdub> i reached up and hit ctrl-z
<BoZo> haha
#138543 [ + | - ] 198
<xassassingod> but i do love brittany murphy
<xassassingod> she WILL have my babies
<***|away> you make some and then put them in front of her
door ?
#138542 [ + | - ] 94
*** O_T_T_E_R Joined #warez/chat
«( cAz )»: sup otter
«( Mark )»: lol
«( Mark )»: you both go to the same university?
«( cAz )»: yeah
«( cAz )»: hes like 2 feet away from me
«( Mark )»: so u still talk on irc?
«( cAz )»: no he wants warez too
«( Elf )» university students trading illegal content.. dont
they teach you guys the different between right and wrong in
school? :p
«( Mark )»: im going to report you casey j and justin for
trading illegal content at a university
«(@ deTh[aWay] )»: mark
«(@ deTh[aWay] )»: you're sitting in a warez channel and
threatening to report people for it
«( Mark )»: sure
«( cAz )»: lol you noticed that too huh?
«( Mark )»: im here for the chat
«( Mark )»: not for the warez
«( Mark )»: ;)
#138521 [ + | - ] 19
<cannibal> oooh, the Bali bombers used SMS enabled phones to
give orders...
<cannibal> only terrorists use SMS.
<brainbox> and most of europe
<cannibal> is there a difference?
#138514 [ + | - ] 55
<Virgin_girl> there is a new killer virus.... i can feel
it.... scan ur discs people!
<Virgin_girl> i think im infected... im feeling like that
<Virgin_girl> norton knows it is inefcted
<Virgin_girl> it does not tell the truth
#138506 [ + | - ] 276
<Hitei> I can also IMPLY that you are an idiot.
<Hitei> Which, you are, but I'm not saying it, just IMPLYING
it. IMPLY is the key word there.
<Si`Howe> Look at that. You typed more than three words.
<Hitei> Shut up, you.
#138489 [ + | - ] 172
(+Jolt) idont have a pornocollection does that make me weird?
(ThugzLoveinThugzMansion) yes
#138487 [ + | - ] 999
> Okay life is good.
> Some girl I know IRL.
> Just im'ed me and said she masturbated thinking of me last
night.
> Yep, life is good.
<Seryu> lol
> Aww fuck.. she said it was the wrong window.
#138458 [ + | - ] 39
<FFk> he had a stroke
<FFk> and only half of his face works
<FFk> isnt that wicked?
<FFk> kinda like twoface from batman :D
#138456 [ + | - ] 13
<Uno> am I better then Keanu Reeves? Well that is a matter of
opinion and acting ability
* Uno is now known as Rkiver
<Skorp> heh
<Plague> lol
<The_GoldFish> no one is better than Keanu Reeves
<The_GoldFish> NO ONE
<The_GoldFish> anyway
<Plague> keanu reeves is the master
* Zapth likes Rkiver more then Keanu Reeves
* Skorp hides
<Plague> who else do you know who can fly?
<Rkiver> Clarke Kent
<PatamonKid> you are keanu reeves's bitch
<Skorp> Superman??
#138453 [ + | - ] 17
<MeKa> [11:54] <Neji-Sama> I have a *nix os.
<MeKa> [11:54] <Neji-Sama> Several.
<MeKa> [11:54] <Cidsa> hurray
<MeKa> [11:54] <Cidsa> next is
<MeKa> [11:54] <MeKa> linux?
<MeKa> [11:54] <Neji-Sama> RH 9, Mandrake 9, Debian, Slackware
and Gentoo.
<MeKa> dont call me an idiot if you didnt answer  before I
asked the question
<MeKa> DOLT:P
> Uh' dude.
> They're different flavours of Linux.
> Sort of like Microsoft is a flavour of being ass raped by a
dead turkey.
#138450 [ + | - ] 135
<[Hobbes]> -rw-------    1 hobbes  hobbes  7802880 Aug 20
07:03 metaballs.core
<[Hobbes]> wtf is THAT
<@dk> your metaballs dumped thier core? ;)
<[Hobbes]> heh I read it as meatballs the first time
<@ky_druid> damn Hobbes, do you have to use your metaballs so
hard that they coredump? sheesh.
#138442 [ + | - ] 179
<Jeeba> You sad sad men.
<Jeeba> I took off of school today to watch the Two Towers'
Special Features disc over and over.
<Xylene> and you call us sad.
#138441 [ + | - ] 70
<{SCF}|l||l||ll|> I AM SCF BARCODE
#138437 [ + | - ] 131
Rob - you know u have a high sperm count when she has to chew
before she swallows!
#138435 [ + | - ] 364
<nonzero> do you have a vagina?
<cisco_gal> yes :p
<nonzero> sweet
#138434 [ + | - ] 0
<Credence> how is an athlon even remotely comparable to a
celeron
<Aeturnus> they're pretty close in speed
#138433 [ + | - ] 260
<enaz> what's the best way to tell the difference between
flirting and networking
<FifthColumn> enaz: how stiff the cat5 cable is?
#138418 [ + | - ] 21
<bucket> The U.S. is strange!
<Ven99> - Iknow
<Ven99> - I was downt in texas and walked into a mexican
abortion clinic.
<bucket> why were you in there???
<Ven99> - The sign in the front said "CRIME STOPPERS"
#138396 [ + | - ] 299
<BoriS> so, it's important to know, what kind of movie you'll
look BEFORE you enter the theatre
<Bastaard> like people taking the advice of other people on
IRC that when they get to a japanese restaurant that they
order "bukakke" for dessert
#138386 [ + | - ] 1474
* tania has joined #maths
<tania> if i had a line on a graph, how would i know points
(x,y,z) lie on the graph?
<LackLustre> ERR HERR HERRR SUB THEM INTO THE LINE EQUATIONS
<tania> and then what?
<LackLustre> MASTURBATE INTO A PAPER CUP!!!!!
<LackLustre> no, you're done, truthfully.
<tania> lol
<LackLustre> let's say i got a totally fucking crazy line like
y = 3x + 2
<LackLustre> it sickens me to type it, but there we go
<LackLustre> is (2,1) on it?
* sabamacx rofls :D
<LackLustre> does 2 = 3.1 + 2
<LackLustre> NO IT FUCKING WELL DOESN'T
<LackLustre> SO FUCK YOU, LINE, FUCK YOU, POINTS
<sabamacx> we need more people like LackLustre, he's my golden
ray for the day :D
#138378 [ + | - ] 637
<omega> i have a question.
<omega> is your community THAT small that you're so bored and
lifeless that you need to spam communities that are 20x
bigger?
<FFk> how about i answer your question, with another question.
<FFk> Have you ever seen a naked man ride a horse?
#138374 [ + | - ] 681
<FFk> Ive been living on my own for 2 weeks. Im so bad with
money and shit im drinking apple juice and eating animal
crackers.
<Goftyrind> erm....
<FFk> i can safely say i need my mommy.
#138342 [ + | - ] 838
<molo242k> ALLO WESTERN COMRADES! NO COMMUNISTS HERE! JUST
HARD WORKING YANKY DOODLE DANDY WESTERN CO WORKERS! OH BOY!
TIME FOR SOEM MORE OF THAT FAMOUS AMERICAN APPLE PIE! PERHAPS
LATER WE WILL ENGAGE IN MANLY EMBRACE WHILST STILL CLINGING
DESPERATELY TO THE ILLUSION OF HETEROSEXUALITY JAH?
#138338 [ + | - ] 465
<Ysabelle> my god
<Ysabelle> a sixteen year old friend of mine has a full beard
and goatee.
<bark> hahaha
<Gizmo^_^> impressive
<Gizmo^_^> (says darth)
<Ysabelle> And she refuses to wax!
#138259 [ + | - ] -108
PythagorusBAN: I think every "bottom" quote on bash has the
word 'nigger'
PythagorusBAN: I didn't know there were that many niggers on
the internet to begin with
Boozmation: you come across them everyonce in a while..
usually at dating websites
PythagorusBAN: or porn sites
Boozmation: oh yea
PythagorusBAN: or the National Geographic webiste
Boozmation: well then its not even a contest
#138255 [ + | - ] 1531
<bishead> man there is such a difference between online comp
players and online console players.
<bishead> when i play cs my sexuality is attacked like a
hundred times and my mother's weight mentioned 50 times.
<bishead> i was playing some guy in madden 2004 on ps2. and
this guy was all like "hey man ur doing pretty good" and
giving me tips and shit.
<bishead> but i've been playing cs too long. blurted out i
wanna fuck ur mother with a pole.
<bishead> i kinda felt bad after.