<NekoGuy> Hey Guys, long time no see, ever since that fucking war on terror started, I'm currently building several strategic size nuclear weapons, and wanted you're opinion, I've secured weapons grade plutonium, now I can't decide, gun type or implosive war heads? I'm gonna mount them on # 1283-8171-200 Deep Strike Cruise Missiles, so weight is an issue <NekoGuy> um... wrong channel/server <NekoGuy> sorry <Xypher> if that was an attempt to be funny it sucked. <NekoGuy> No, it was seriously the wrong channel/server <NekoGuy> fucking idiot. <Robby> implosive war head <NekoGuy> Really? Thanks.
<melx0rz> we just polled some guy .. out of the following he is a) child molester b) FILTHY LIAR <melx0rz> i didn't answer <melx0rz> er.. HE <melx0rz> He didn't answer
<HeadlessCow> urr...you've never touched a girl's breasts and known her cup size? <evilroot> HeadlessCow: hrm, I rarely remember such things <evilroot> Hard enough remembering their names
<fiz> porn's a good addiction too <fiz> not like needy womens <fiz> rub my feet... not tonight... in the butt again <fiz> bitch whine moan
<@Dock> Water freezes faster the higher you are, I believe. <@phrozen> nice <@phrozen> next time i'll use the fridge upstairs
<McBigMac> WHO STOLE MAH LIGHTER ?! <MysteryIslands> _o/ <MysteryIslands> gotta take smoke now :D <McBigMac> Life needs a fukkin Search Function! <McBigMac> Search: Find Lighter
<Targen> Just saw the Smallvile season finale. (that's what you call those, right?) <NekoGuy> season finale? the last episode in a season right? <Targen> Yes. <NekoGuy> Yes, that's right. <NekoGuy> You've passed the American Television Culture test # 1 <NekoGuy> You win 20 pounds of fat.
Mayor of your Brain: I weasled out of going to my cousin's graduation ;) C_Caillavet: you rule C_Caillavet: But what if you missed out on punch and pie? Mayor of your Brain: Fuck them, I got meatloaf
<^NoS^Sikarian> you know <^NoS^Sikarian> in working with the tech department the past week <^NoS^Sikarian> know what ive found out? <^NoS^Sikarian> those windows XP taskbar tray popup bubbles are like a little kid <^NoS^Sikarian> 'HEY! LOoK AT ME! LOOOK WHAT IM DOING! =D =D =D LOoK!! YOUR NOT LOOOOKKINNGG!!!! COME ON LOOK!!" <^NoS^Sikarian> Then you click the X and say "Ok I fucking see you" <^NoS^Sikarian> 5 seconds... "HEY LOOK AT ME AGAIN! =D"
<Tenchi147> if you were in a shower with another guy and he droped the soup <Tenchi147> would you do anything? <Oolong^Pokemon> not if it wasn't my boyfriend <Oolong^Pokemon> hell no <Tenchi147> I am not thinking while typeing <Tenchi147> I am going to shut up now <Katarica> If I was in the shower and another girl dropped the soup <Katarica> I would wonder why the HELL she was eating soup in the fucking shower
* Rask says AHEM extremely loudly. * Blasphemy gives Rask a cough drop. <Denise> SARS! :o <Chickita_Banana> lol * Denise passes out masks. * Rask sticks it in his nose and says AHEM again. <Chickita_Banana> a cough drop in your nose? * Denise watches it shoot out of Rask's nose and hit Chickita in the face. <Denise> Maybe it's a nose drop. <Chickita_Banana> lol * Chickita_Banana throws it at Denise * Denise gets it lodged in her throat. <Blasphemy> o.o * Denise does the heimlich on herself. <Blasphemy> Denise. * Denise lives. <Blasphemy> You're wierd. * Denise spears Blasphemy. * Denise drags him to her igloo. * Chickita_Banana watches <Blasphemy> Plz don't rape me >_< I'll do anything!
<eXa|The_Professor> my grandpa invented cheez-wiz <eXa-r|SirHump|NS> sweeeet <eXa|The_Professor> no i'm just screwing with you
< kriptik> !sites < BassBoy> !sites < kriptik> !geeks-in-g-strings < BassBoy> !nude-animals < kriptik> !greasy-ewok-bitches < BassBoy> !underage-gerbil-sluts < kriptik> you win :(
<NekoGuy> Oh my fucking god I'm 16 years old, engaged, with a 2.0 average planning to make a career out of politics, I spend my entire day on IRC, looking at porn and fantasizing about a race of catgirls that will never exist. <NekoGuy> IT JUST FUCKING HIT ME. * NekoGuy kills himself
* djenk feels like his energy has been completly drained out of him * muiredach pumps energy back up in djenk <muiredach> ooops, that was the airpump ;-) * djenk now feels listless and bloated too ;/
<Analogy> I haven't taken a shower in days. <Analogy> DAYS. * silentjoe backs away from analogy <Analogy> My hair has so much oil in it, Bush is gonna invade it next.
(@Nick^) we were about to start an important exam yesterday (@Nick^) and the male teacher says "any mobile phones turn them out and put them on the desk at the front" (@Nick^) and my friend questioned him about whether it was necessary to put it on the desk at the front, blah blah (@Nick^) then the teacher walks down the row of people to check, and says to my /other/ friend, "Is that a mobile phone in your pocket?" (@Nick^) and my friend turned round and said "No he's just pleased to see you" (@Nick^) I almost got kicked out for crying with laughter
<||RoGuE||>: yesterday, my sister came to me and asked me where were my parents, and she smelled like beer <||RoGuE||>: and i said... Minni, by the smell of your breath i can tell you have been drinking <||RoGuE||>: and then she said... well, by the smell of your breath i can tell you have been sucking cock, you bitch! <[StOrM]>: what did you do rogue? <||RoGuE||>: i brushed my teeth ¬_¬
||RoGuE||: yesterday, my sister came to me and asked me where were my parents, and she smelled like beer ||RoGuE||: and i said... Minni, by the smell of your breath i can tell you have been drinking ||RoGuE||: and then she said... well, by the smell of your breath i can tell you have been sucking cock [StOrM]: what did you do rogue? ||RoGuE||: i brushed my teeth ¬_¬
volsung> *Sigh* jack> sigh what? volsung> Talking to my mom again. volsung> I tried to explain that job #1 is modeling the effects of the solar wind on the Earth's magnetic field and that my advisor's model wasn't working at all. volsung> Her immediate response was "Well, that's because you aren't taking into account the effect of consciousness on the charged particles." volsung> I did not know how to respond to that.
<nylint> a pedophile and a little girl were walking into the woods <nylint> and the little girl said 'these woods are scary at night, mister' <nylint> and the pedophile said 'you're scared? i have to walk back alone!'
<stealth_> my brother downloaded cm4 from kazaa <stealth_> and... it went pretty well for him <stealth_> he had been playing for about 1½ hours <stealth_> then this message pops up. <stealth_> "had fun? well fu you and go buy the game you warez haxx0r" <stealth_> then the game crashed :)
<Devilmouse> help!!! <Devilmouse> * Yam invites you to join #gay <Devilmouse> i joined and they wont let me back out
(Kixx^) Where can I download internet ? (@Osc) Kixx^ goto http://www.irchelp.org/download for info on getting files of any kind via IRC. Kixx^) *lol*
<Cyber_Akuma> They REALLY want to make dying in the game realistic <Cyber_Akuma> The pc insantly locked up when i died
<@ott> i work with a guy who has zacklee <@ott> his breath smells zacklee like his ass
<dragondyne> doritos are just as good though <dragondyne> but the residue on your hands SUCKS ASS <Mog116> yeah <dragondyne> you need gloves to eat them <AvaLance204> Yes doritos mess up your hands <shadow> I don't mind the residue <Mog116> dorito residue sucks dragondyne> they should come with a pair of latex gloves <dragondyne> they would sell more <shadow> I usually eat chips when I'm not using my hands <shadow> er <AvaLance204> :o <shadow> you know what I mean <AvaLance204> lofl <dragondyne> wtf <shadow> when I'm not using my hands for anything else <Mog116> what <shadow> ah crap <shadow> screw it <dragondyne> do you stick your head in the bag and rotate or something
<+Jasper> SourceX, its because of people like you that they put up signs that say "Please don't touch the animals" in zoos <+Jasper> -P <@SourceX> i wouildnt do it with other ppl around anyways <@SourceX> the signs are pointless
<basschimp> sitting down in a kilt is easy. after the first few times. <Yardbomb> Heehee <Yardbomb> lol <Ant-> after the first few "AWW SWEET JESUS MAN"s?
<Borgus> How does one go about becoming an op? <Fembot> kneepads, a dark room, and a strong stomach
<Zimbu> heh, the ad bar on fark speaks for itself... <Zimbu> "1000s of naked women on your desktop! NSFW!: 18 comments" <Zimbu> "Revenge Lady- My story of complete and utter humiliation: 8 comments" <Zimbu> "i saw a turtle: 1136 comments"
<GaNja> anyone here good at setting up video cards? <Blue> nope, im horrible at it myself, so bad in fact i dont even havea video card <GaNja> oh <GaNja> that sucks
<Xenophon> I was talking to this really cute girl, when I was on a walk with my parents. I hadn't seen her in years. After exchanging university experiences, I asked for her ph # and my dad jumped out of the woodwork and said "I'll memorize half of it for ya!"
<Fembot> what did one "racing stripe" in jitspoe's toilet say to another one? <Fembot> "are you alright? you look a little flushed."
<Blue> yeah, a copy of it was found in a desert <Blue> the guy turned it into the newspaper or something instead of doing the right thing <Blue> which of course is ebaying it
<Calrathan> well, I'm screwed <Calrathan> not gunna get this work done <Fryth> irc to the rescue! <Calrathan> yay <Calrathan> it doesnt fix your problems... <Calrathan> but it sure makes you forget em
<[GUNr]J0E> hahahah ive gotten laid more than jit <jitspoe> I'm saving my virginity for a female
* jitspoe had forgotten how time consuming modeling is <spdif> keep your clothes on jit. no matter how much money they offer you
<KnacK|WorK> oximoron of the day "Microsoft To Teach Undergrads About Secure Computing"
(?) kullen- (~WTF-kulle@as8-1-2.am.g.bonet.se) enters #lesbian CoulomB: turn around CoulomB: no lesbians here. (?) kullen- (~WTF-kulle@as8-1-2.am.g.bonet.se) leaves #lesbian CoulomB: all gone, big lesbian fire of 96.
* cuba has joined #uplink <cuba> hoi all * Dave2|Laptop bans trade with cuba * Luigi30 arms cuba with missiles <KeaponLaffin> Luigi30: hey now, no bay of pigs
<JakeD> My fingers are so fucking big that I'm all like "apjps0-3" just trying to type the word "hi" <Winter> wow, i bet you're a hit with the ladies. <JakeD> Yeah. "Hi, I'm Lisa." "apjps0-3" "....Fucking freak." <Winter> i was thinking IRL, but i suppose you're more clumsy there? <JakeD> That was an IRL example.
Substitue Teacher> Alright class. Here's the next question. Spain was divided into what? Hint, Canada has these. Dane> Umm... Canadians! Kyle> ... Provinces you idiot...
< 01@peregrine > Then a great item, the 24 Hour Bukkake Semen of Moe Nishimura < 01@peregrine > -- poor Moe-chan has men blowing their wads on her as she goes about her < 01@peregrine > daily life, brushing her teeth, sleeping, going to the bathroom, and so on < 01@peregrine > dude that's bukkake i'd consider watching < 01@peregrine > the comedy < 01@chesed > I think that'd get annoying when you're doing your daily activies and random guys are blowing their load all over you < 01@chesed > it'd prolly be the worst day to do laundry < 01@chesed > "I just fucking cleaned that! FUCK!" < 01@peregrine > you'd need an allstar male crew < 01@peregrine > with precision aim < 01@chesed > haha < 01@chesed > matrix load-blowing < 01@peregrine > i'm just imagining like < 01@peregrine > guys hidden in the bushes and shit, as she walks by < 01@krelian > that's what happens in 24 hours bukakke < 01@krelian > they like bust out of the closet < 01@krelian > and it's a hit and run cum * peregrine rolls < 01@spider-hime > hahah < 01@krelian > girl walks into the bathroom < 01@krelian > and dude blows his load < 01@peregrine > they need to just go all the way < 01@peregrine > and have some chick being tormented by a clan of bukkake ninjas < 01@krelian > *girl walks down street* < 01@krelian > *ninjas out of bushes* < 01@peregrine > hehe < 01@peregrine > totally < 01@krelian > *ninjas blow load* < 01@peregrine > then DISAPPEAR < 01@krelian > <girl> what the hell was that! < 01@spider-hime > STEALTH BUKKAKE < 01@krelian > *girl walks down street* < 01@krelian > <girl> omg it's raining < 01@Perrin > *camera pans to roof of building*
<Aury> O.o;; You all have to wait longer for movies to come out? <leckie> Well yeah... sometimes. <Aury> What is that, some sort of backwater hell of a town? <leckie> It's the UK Aury.
<WorkLord> nasa uses both systems <WorkLord> on martian landers <WorkLord> hehe <Luigi30> That's why all our stuff explodes <Luigi30> Especially shuttles <Luigi30> and Mars landers <WorkLord> ITS OK EVERYONE <WorkLord> HES BACK TO STUPID <WorkLord> armageddon averted <Luigi30> in Soviet Union, shuttles explode YOU! * Luigi30 runs around farting <Luigi30> Yay! I'm stupid! * Luigi30 explodes leaving a jagged black mark on the ground and some smoke <Dave2> YAY!!!!
<[M4X]> CASEMODDER this isn t about me or who has your underwear. This is about me and the fact you re not wearing any underwear. <[M4X]> :) <CaseModder> get away from ma ass u queer <[M4X]> lol * CaseModder puts some boxers on <[TFF]monkey> hands on balls, bums on walls lads * [M4X] opens secret passage in wall <[M4X]> MUHAHAHAH * CaseModder puts on chasity belt
<eva> hey guys, guess what im eating right now! <Ed> big black cocks dripping with pearly semen. <eva> starts with a 3 <Ed> three big black cocks dripping with pearly semen.
* Mike0ne sneaks up quietly and has sex in Jarrith <cakemix26> just ackt up <Jarrith> MIKEONE HAS HERPES <Jarrith> oh god * Jarrith runs away <Jarrith> that was badly timed