hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21142 Approved Quotes | 1 in Moderation Queue
#106137 [ + | - ] 346
<rakpointzero> ashton kutcher as batman?
<nimereht> Dude, where's my batmobile?
#106123 [ + | - ] 476
<s_> the thing that attracts me to fat chicks the most
<s_> would probably have to be their gravitational pull
#106065 [ + | - ] 594
<Calisa> I read tampon boxes and manuals, (but who doesn't?
Regardless of where you're at.)
<aeonite> do tampons really need a manual? insert tab a into
slot b.
<Calisa> You'd be surprised, aeonite. There are always the
people who don't know about if they can leave it in whilst
they pee, what happens if it starts smelling extremely bad,
what happens if they leave it in too long, or don't leave it
in long enough..
<Calisa> Or pull it out too fast..
* semi resists temptation to ask
<Calisa> Temptation to ask what?
<semi> what happens when you pull it out too fast
<semi> i can assume its something like the movie backdraft.
#106022 [ + | - ] 383
<Jeeba|FG> I think all Juvenile Delinquents should be sent to
spend 5 months with me.
<Sunn_Toucher> Are you a law figure?
<Jeeba|FG> No
<Jeeba|FG> Im a child molester.
#105985 [ + | - ] 164
<D`Espice> root, god, what's the difference anyway?
#105978 [ + | - ] 181
<+BmMadDan|Busy> well i gtg and get dresses
<+BmMadDan|Busy> dressed*
#105946 [ + | - ] 371
<Quigalo> Fried eggs on a burger is like coming on a 12 year
old girl's ass. It might sound tempting, but you just have to
think about what you're doing for a second, and stop.
#105945 [ + | - ] 524
<JohnnyBl> Now, if you're to tell me that it really costs a
whole dollar more for that goddamn, red-haired, floppy-shoe
wearing, Grimace-loving, Hamburglar-catching, cocksucking,
Fryguy slave-holding, Mayor McCheese-bribing, son of a bitch
clown to give me 2 extra nuggets, I'll tell you you're full of
shit.
#105939 [ + | - ] 184
<MikeSweetser> I've seen DAP pics before.
<MikeSweetser> And DAFP pics as well.
<JamesFnX> Mike: DAFP?
<MikeSweetser> Double Anal Fist Penetration.
<P|MP> "find your keys yet?" :)
#105932 [ + | - ] 693
<DreamStiller> whats the advantage of php compared to servers
like geocities?
<DrDoug> Well, php is a server side scripting language and
geocities is just a steaming pile of shit.
#105894 [ + | - ] 173
<skrooyoo> i am not a medical practitioner, but i do
distribute rohypnol to coeds on occasion
#105892 [ + | - ] 269
<fallen> let me tell ya its hard to keep up when wanking to
death metal..
#105886 [ + | - ] 801
Cat1013: So, my boss is blabbing on about "how to improve your
productivity and be a mental asset to the company"
Cat1013: And all I can think of is how the letters in "mental
asset" can be rearranged to spell "metal ass net"
Cat1013: I think I need therapy
#105880 [ + | - ] 342
<GreenO> I made a stop-go lego-porn animation
<GreenO> It was sweet... it was inside a castle.  It involved
a horse too
#105874 [ + | - ] 305
<Archeoptrix> Some girl I know is goign to open up an abortion
clinic called "Humpty Dumpty" when she grows up
#105861 [ + | - ] 288
Notnilc:       Is Eric working today?
Jwald90726:    If by  working  you mean  Fucking a minor  then
yes.
#105855 [ + | - ] 503
<Foobar> this guy is like weapons-grade stupid
#105849 [ + | - ] 91
<vrit> today my coworker ordered takeout from the chinese
place
<vrit> and naturally it was "mongoloid beef"
#105847 [ + | - ] 1177
<three> why the FUCK do we say TUNA FISH
<three> we don't say CHICKEN BIRD
#105844 [ + | - ] 317
<HomesickAlien> 17" iMac - that's like having a nine inch
penis but being impotent
#105843 [ + | - ] 478
<@three> hi! welcome to the dept. of redundancy dept. and
hello
#105842 [ + | - ] 140
<@tumult> m what is this piano girls obsession
<@piano_girl_man> tumult cute girls who play the piano
<@tumult> piano_girl_man and what reference are you basing
this on
<@Hiryu> elton john
#105841 [ + | - ] 1371
<Spekkosaurus> C: drive looks happier than D: drive
#105839 [ + | - ] 632
<Avien> by the time they come up with all this shit... we'll
be in a SPACE COLON
<Avien> Y
#105834 [ + | - ] 316
<Prozax> 9 cats? you must be really ugly
#105832 [ + | - ] 957
<Ubik> speaking of Jenga, it's the 1-year anniversery of 9/11
tomorrow
#105831 [ + | - ] 1146
<F4T4L_3RR0R> I swear... I don't need to see commercials for
tampons while cartoons are on
<F4T4L_3RR0R> "IT'S SO SMALL I DON'T NEED THE APPLICATOR! IT
FITS TO MY CONTOURS!!" "YES!! MY LABIA JUST GRABS IT LIKE A
BIONIC CLAW AND TRACTOR BEAMS IT IN!!"
#105826 [ + | - ] 249
<mercury> CANADA: WE PUT THE "U" IN SATIRE
#105819 [ + | - ] 149
<aeth> i don't remember any skullfucking in bladerunner
#105794 [ + | - ] 274
<Tylendel> I have kitty pictures.
<Seeth_There> I have genital crabs.
<Seeth_There> Advantage: Seeth.
#105784 [ + | - ] 203
<dkkev> If a girl cant dance
<dkkev> she sure cant fuck either
<psychoace> yeah but that is why you just tie her down and
stuff
#105778 [ + | - ] 122
<DrgdHmstr> man if I wanted communist propeganda I'd read
slashdot
* DrgdHmstr was kicked by supz (communist)
#105773 [ + | - ] 609
<Kennef> what was quetzequatl the patron god of?
<tarvuz> umm
<Wintermute> consonants?
#105772 [ + | - ] 305
* Wes *rimjob*
(Wes): er
* Wes *rimshot*
#105770 [ + | - ] 399
<imagine> Oh god.
<imagine> I just tried to mute my fan with the tv remote.
#105761 [ + | - ] 231
<MrSaturn> google dosent seem to be working.  when i press the
"i'm feeling lucky" button i'm left unsatisfied
#105747 [ + | - ] 283
<Mr_p> so hows ur man love?
<Mr_Bandit> its a pain in the arse
#105744 [ + | - ] 182
<CausticGnome> so, i was in the garage, smoking, when I saw
the book the jehovas witnesses gave me about the end of the
world
<CausticGnome> entitled: "Revelation Its Grand Climax At Hand!
"
#105736 [ + | - ] 179
<Naomi_in_Malice> ;_;
<Naomi_in_Malice> i dont like tentacle rape
<AndrewLB> Great, we have a 15yr old girl in a channel devoted
to cartoon porn.
<BloodyParrot> but what about nice tentacles?
<Naomi_in_Malice> hmm..
<Naomi_in_Malice> where can i order one?
#105735 [ + | - ] 118
<mironixima> hello
<mironixima> any redhat 9 users in here?
<SKaReCRoW> let's hope not
#105725 [ + | - ] 331
<Model_Atheist> I want a fucking girlfriend.
<CuriousGrugg> None of those non-fucking girlfriends, huh?
#105708 [ + | - ] 279
<timmo> its kind of weird
<timmo> my grandma dropped acid
<timmo> and hijacked a school bus full of penguins
<timmo> so its kind of a family crisis
#105677 [ + | - ] 110
<+NoNameAndrew> yeah right, you were rubbing the one eye'd
snake to him like I am
<+NoNameAndrew> her*
#105674 [ + | - ] 366
lost475: ANY HOT CHICKS WANNA GO OUT
Qualjyn: lost475, you will die alone.
Qualjyn: Do not pass go. Do not collect ASL
#105667 [ + | - ] 129
iHeartDonKnotts: I just got a prank call from http://
whitepages.com/search/Reverse_Phone?npa=313&phone=3430570
iHeartDonKnotts: Showed up on caller ID
iHeartDonKnotts: And then internet saved the day
iHeartDonKnotts: I'm gonna letterbomb the place
Verl Is BOSS: what did they say
iHeartDonKnotts: I called back and said "Hi, I just got a call
from this number... Who the fuck are you and why are you
calling Southern California for a prank call?"
Verl Is BOSS: owned?
iHeartDonKnotts: Probably!
#105653 [ + | - ] 555
<JonJonB> The url he gave me for gay porn doesn't even work
<JonJonB> ....fuck
<Fentom> YOU TRIED IT OUT?
<JonJonB> ...no?
#105651 [ + | - ] 226
<thcip> and i try to finger god, but it tells me there is no
such users..but my chaplain told me god is
everywhere..certainly he should be on my raq..
<websales_arron> Although it's not mentioned in the Rackshack
Terms of Service or Acceptable Use Policy, we will be unable
to provide you support in finding God.
#105649 [ + | - ] 118
<Luigi30> alt.people.ugly.stupid.ops.term
<Luigi30> The busiest newsgroup in the world!
* You have been banned from #gamecube (alt.luigi.banned)
#105648 [ + | - ] 241
<aNuBiS-> :/
<natascam> hi annie, how is your chi today?
<aNuBiS-> un-aligned
<aNuBiS-> i yin, when i should of yang'd
<natascam> did you try booze?
#105643 [ + | - ] 340
* Dr_Dos|KLONE has joined #zeuxworld
<Revvy> OH NOS
<Dr_Dos|KLONE> How do I kill on esper?
<EvilMario> ghost?
<Revvy> msg nickserv kill
<Dr_Dos|KLONE> I guess.
<Zenholder> /quit <nick> <password>
<Dr_Dos|KLONE> ok
* Dr_Dos has quit IRC (Ping timeout)
* Dr_Dos|KLONE has quit IRC (Quit: Dr_Dos censored)
<EvilMario> Hahah.
<Zenholder> :D
<EvilMario> You're the best, sir.
* Dr_Dos has joined #zeuxworld
<Zenholder> :P
<Zenholder> Did it work?
<Dr_Dos> heh
<Dr_Dos> Yes
<Zenholder> Good
* Dr_Dos has quit IRC (Killed (NickServ (GHOST command used by
EvilMario)))
<Zenholder> :D
<EvilMario> Excellent.
* Dr_Dos has joined #zeuxworld
<Dr_Dos> That's not right...
<EvilMario> You fool.
<EvilMario> Mwahah.. I mean.. HIIII