* Gandalf should answer the phones at work with a different song lyric each time <Gandalf> "I'm the operator with my pocket calculator. May I please have your U* IT Name?" <ai> I just want to answer the phone "Fuck you, this is Ben, how can I help you?" <Gandalf> heh :) <ai> "I'd like to file a claim." "Miss Scarlet, I don't know *nothin'* bout birthin' no babies!"
<thebestalex> on this server's site <thebestalex> are there any cops photos? <Gizm0> what cops? <Gizm0> you mean irc ops
<unlimitedsaga> I wonder if I'm too uncaring about others <unlimitedsaga> I passed this guy in the hall today <unlimitedsaga> and I thought he was asleep <unlimitedsaga> then when I came back 10 minutes later there were people around him <unlimitedsaga> then an ambulance came <unlimitedsaga> maybe he was unconscious <unlimitedsaga> or dead.. <unlimitedsaga> is tribes any good?
<cheezychops> GOD I SLEEP ONE WORK WRONG AND YOU GO INSANE <cheezychops> er <cheezychops> SPELL* WORD*
<+Lithium-> i nearly died <+Lithium-> going into the cellar - sister fucking put some fucking shit on the steps <+shak> :o <+jonathan> that must smell <+richard> lol <+jonathan> does your sister lay dumps all the time? <+jonathan> can she lay a dump on me? <+james> ... <+Alex-A11> lol?
<NES> lol <NES> I download something from Napster <NES> And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I'm done <NES> I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you" <NES> "getting my song back fucker"
<Milon> I I can't believe I was fooled like that. my brother and his friend told me there was pie downstairs and as I go down they had like a giant rubber slingshot set up and they nailed me with it >:(
<RedVapor> hearing my dad say "Wow, Tifa's hot." is scarring <RedVapor> You wanna know what I replied with? "No duh, dad. Funny thing is, I have a better chance witgh someone like that then you do." I was grounded for 2 weeks <ecco> Yes, you have a better chance with VIDEO GAME CHARACTERS <ecco> ahaha dork boy
* kanis lost something for mouthing off to an admin <Cybsled> I hope it wasn't virginity <kanis> fuck you
<M4`Shock> i was talkin to these fine ladies <M4`Shock> and i sorta put my head down <M4`Shock> and puked quickly and continued my conversation <M4`Shock> they barely noticed
<PickleC> I want to read <PickleC> but I have this disease <PickleC> called <PickleC> L-A-Z-Y <Carly> so you just guess whats on the screen then?
<cyborgd17> this is fucked up, i hadn't jerked for about 1 week *out of boredom :|* and all these girls start flirting with me for some reason, then i finally free up some room in the ol' nutsack and i'm a loveless geek again! no-one comes near me....masturbation sends out bad vibes! <twistoliver> you're such a fucktard, don't you know everytime that you masturbate, god kills a kitten <hellyeh15> yeh, you must of killed their cats <cyborgd17> that makes sense, cuz i've killed enough kittens to make a kitten bridge to the moon...and back <jonbridgenash> wait wait wait...hold up.....girls?
<sweetlisa> hi i'm singel and lookin for a bf...private msg me :) <Ninja_Dib> i have a gf <DJMORGAN> i have a bf <Johnsee> I have a gf <psynapse> i have wood <knokturnal> i have a milf <Ninja_Dib> LOL <DJMORGAN> knokturnal: you know if u actually say that including the acronym that doesnt sound very good
<chabo> have you guys ever noticed that quite a few of the quotes on bash.org deal with people who go on IRC and tell everyone about it when something major happens, rather than do what they should, which is usually go to the hospital?
<Gwindor> so who wants to get knocked up? <Barrow-Wight> I see Gwin's found the Viagra gum. <Gwindor> double your pleasure, double your fun!
<plexr> do you know std c++ ? <plexr> or is a weak understanding of VB your only strength <ahorse_> oohhhhh he just said the equivalent of *yo momma*
<A-C> Is it me or is the new Tatu song unbelievably annoying <Lightbunny> is it me or are all of their songs annoying? <Lightbunny> but who cares. they're cute lesbians. <A-C> but of course
<NMO> MY MONITOR IS FUCKED. <sheeps> it got lucky ay? <NMO> Yeah, my subwoofer is such a fucking slut.
<Knghtbrd> something so totally feels wrong ... <lisa> ? <Knghtbrd> no idea, but going outside right now makes me wanna run back inside, bar the door, and hide under the bed. <lisa> republicans in town or something?
<@redfox> fuk <@redfox> just found out my sisters been in labour for 7 hours <@bovineaux> omg ur gonna be a daddy!
<@GeNOc|DE> damn i wanna bone the lead singer of evanescence <@eught> what does she looks like? <@GeNOc|DE> sex
<drwiii> this game rules. <drwiii> i punched a building and it EXPLODED <drwiii> but enough about that, let's talk about the game.
<Cody> Hmmm <Cody> Amazon offers a discount if you buy Adam Smith's Wealth of Nations at the same time as Marx's Communist Manifesto...
<hohum> when you get to the printf(); *BAM* instant coredump followed by an suid shell <hohum> get it? <brandon> to a degree * brandon isn't much on programming <hohum> don't worry, neither are the people who write software :) <brandon> lol <hohum> you'd fit right in
<Ned> rofl <Ned> Sud N' Fud <Ned> When trying to bang a girl, she gives that same old story, "I not that kind of girl.", "I don't fuck on the first date.", "I'm catholic.", "Stop asshole.", etc. etc... After hearing all this bullshit, you whip out your handy bar of soap. Then lather up her armpit (or any other joint you prefer), and proceed to fuck that instead <CB[UN1]> you forgot the usual line <CB[UN1]> "hey stop im only 12" <iX|Blue|afk> lol <iX|Blue|afk> i usually get "woof bark bark"
<MagicCow> I hate people who think that being gay should give them special rights.. it's not like they are women, or black.. who were unfortunately born wrong.. they made a choice to be stupid faggots.
<B2uc> and why do girls say they want honesty...then don't...like the other night I was like "What would you like to do?...movie or go out to eat?"...it was like "Well what do you want to do?"...I was like "Well if it was up to me...we'd just go home and fuck and then you could drive yourself home while I catch the last of the ball game" <B2uc> and then I get a dirty look.
*|Truth| Thinks he should teach moe a lesson in "Fucking Fine Bitches 101" <moes_19> Truth - the finest bitch you've ever fucked sweats through its tongue. <moes_19> dipshit <Puedlfor> Ouch.
<Catmando> hmm.. apparently friendster requires friends <Jemte> yea that sucks <fdog> LOL Topic (#clemson): changed by fdog: <Catmando> hmm.. apparently friendster requires friends
<kAwAiIaZnChIk659> oh, you wanna play it like that efnet? <kAwAiIaZnChIk659> disconnect me will you? <kAwAiIaZnChIk659> i'll leech my warez elsewhere, thank you!
<Dhraakellian> an ant just ran across the top of my monitor <Dhraakellian> I've heard of ANSI, but this is ridiculous <Dhraakellian> perhaps my computer needs to be debugged
<Rigger> I was kinda shy, and still am, so right after sex, I started getting dressed before she could turn on the lights...... <Rigger> Well, she turns the light on, and I have my clothes on already, and she can't find her undies....... <Rigger> But she finds my undies next to the bed. <Rigger> Guess whose undies I'm wearing?
Knight Takeru: what happened to your old greeting? TheDauntlessStar: i dunno TheDauntlessStar: it was there, then it just sorta faded away... TheDauntlessStar: like George Lucas's directing abilities Knight Takeru: Yup... Knight Takeru: or Bush's leadership.. Knight Takeru: wait Knight Takeru: that was never there Knight Takeru: my bad...
<TFreak> She was like, "are you enjoying this" <TFreak> And I was like thinking, dude, it feels like I'm fucking a bowl of spagetti-Os or something.
### Psyber converts paige's vibrator from .5 milliamps to 200 amps ### Paige is gone (07:19PM): brb.. *bzzzz*
* ChanServ has quit IRC (*.net *.split) * Cold_Lich sets mode: -ooo Deleter Elight|Xenosaga KamikazeChicken|Away * Cold_Lich sets mode: -o Arieswind * Cold_Lich whistles innocently
<Sebbe> Just found some online CPR 101 <Sebbe> The instructions are: Call, blow, pump <Sebbe> Kinda makes me wonder if I accidentally stumbled upon a Hooker 101
<quacks> u look like that milk girl <quacks> on the cup <@dolphie> huh? <@dolphie> nonsense.. that girls so ugly <quacks> precisely.
<werxxx> ok.. <werxxx> lemme put it like this <werxxx> how to make my script check dns of a given domain <xterm> werxxx: google should be able to help you out. <werxxx> google? <werxxx> so i'll need to configure my script to parse google query result?
<acaos> why does bread come in one shape, meat in another, and cheese in a third so when you want to make a sandwich you have to cut and fold and contort to get it right? =) <leile> hahaha. <leile> its like food-origami. <acaos> my thought exactly =) <acaos> but I have balanced the meat-yin and the cheese-yang and the bread-fu now. <acaos> the ancient, mystical art of Sandwich-Do. <leile> hahaha <leile> HAHAHAHA.
<_Dogbert_> whats the diff btwn a bucket of menstrual fluid, and a bucket of sand? <rusty-chix> wtf? <_Dogbert_> you cant gargle a bucket of sand *** You were kicked by ChanOP ([Android] stop now.) *** Attempting to rejoin... *** Rejoined channel #teens
<Yuli> ...so anyway, I was all like "where's my coconuts man! I ordered em last week!" <Yuli> and the guy just stared at me like "what the fuck?" <Yuli> so i was all like "whatever man, send them to my hut" <Yuli> and I paddled away
<Judith> if you were trying to market condoms, what would you try to use for a slogan? <Redeemer> "Wear the fuck out of us."