hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21142 Approved Quotes | 1 in Moderation Queue
#99967 [ + | - ] 734
* @Super-Vipeo [Super Mario Brothers Theme Song-Nintendo] -
[0.65mb; 1:24; 64kbps; 44khz; mono]
<@Cockroach> I saw a quicktime movie of a guy playing that on
the piano
<@Cockroach> and about every other mario song
<@Cockroach> was kind of scary... then people on the CS forum
started posting about learning sailor moon songs on their
clarinets
<@Cockroach> and suddenly the Mario guy was normal again...
#99966 [ + | - ] 354
Murcho: and for the first time in my life i spent a
considerable amount of time trying to put my dick into what i
thought was the 'vagina'
DrZaius: LOL
Murcho: the plumbing on these french girls is different man im
telling you
#99911 [ + | - ] 906
<Moogs> Matrix Reloaded is a very different kind of film from
the original, both in style and theme. The first movie posed
the question, "What is the nature of reality?" The question
for this movie is, "Do French people ever stop talking?" -
MacHall
<WrexSoul> Or perhaps, "Why is Colonel Sanders sitting in a
room full of TVs?"
#99887 [ + | - ] -131
<aNuBiS-> but youre never around :/
<PeeDC> lol
<PeeDC> thats cuz im busy with real life these days
<aNuBiS-> lies
<PeeDC> i got a kid on route .. due in less than a month ..
and no job .. im busy :P
<aNuBiS-> hmmm, youre black now?
<PeeDC> hahahah
#99880 [ + | - ] 156
<usunoro>  so how's the webcam working?
<NeWaVe>  it worked good
<NeWaVe>  i only turn it on everyso often
<NeWaVe>  like when im talking to alice
<fuchikoma>  or soliciting men to buy you things on your
amazon.com wishlist
#99877 [ + | - ] 580
<OutlawStarwind> Dude for this one question it asks "Do you
ever second guess your answers?" I checked "No" then went back
a second later and checked "yes" then checked "No" again... I
think I have a problem.
#99863 [ + | - ] 156
<Hard[D]isk> you know what the first sign of AIDs is, dont
you?
<KillZaw> no what
<Hard[D]isk> a pounding sensation in your ass..
#99835 [ + | - ] 25693
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks?
<TheXPhial> vaccuums
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
<TheXPhial> black holes
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
<TheXPhial> lava?
#99833 [ + | - ] 903
<Lucien>  a small question.. will you rewrite you're history
books now that you hate us and write that US should have been
liberated even with OUT massive support from french military?
and maybe benjamin franklin never got his idees from paris?
maybe he didn't even visite the country...
<Stormrider> Lucien, do you speak German?
<Lucien> no, but swedish :P
<Stormrider> You don't speak German, though?
<Lucien> eh no
<Stormrider> You're welcome.
#99829 [ + | - ] 386
<Sinclair-> i liked the new travel slogan for Gaza
<Sinclair-> "Now only a stone's throw from jerusalem"
<@Death-Blade> lol
#99828 [ + | - ] 337
<duckroll> they need a FF with a female lead that hates all
men, and masturbates
<jijiripdoze> female masturbation = hating all men?
<jijiripdoze> ok
<duckroll> YES
<duckroll> its a physical PROTEST AGAINST SEX
<CommanderStab> I don't think the words "physical protest
against sex" exist in Japan
#99827 [ + | - ] 529
<sta_hi> lol
<sta_hi> "anything can be a murder weapon, if you have enough
time on your
hands."
<GrassMunk> soggy bread?
<sta_hi> yup
<sta_hi> ESPECIALLY soggy bread.
<GrassMunk> one blade of grass
<sta_hi> yes, that too
<sta_hi> ... if you remove the top of one's head first.
<sta_hi> or could somehow get it into his bloodstream.
<sta_hi> flacid severed penis?
<sta_hi> that too.
<GrassMunk> sperm
<sta_hi> thats destroyed more lives than any gun.
#99806 [ + | - ] 293
<Amish> why do women care if you have an ass anyways
<Amish> it's not like they're going to do anything with it,
but squeeze it
<cardcheat> subconsciously, ass muscles are used in thrusting
movements of sex
<cardcheat> so it symbolizes good prowess
<Amish> I will date blind women only. If they start to feel my
ass, I will wear two cantaloupe halves
#99804 [ + | - ] 247
<sev> i just watched american idol for 10 minutes
* blender pastes a homo sticker on sevr
<cryptonix> do you feel robbed?
<sev> clay sang an amazing rendition of "please let your son
go down on me"
#99796 [ + | - ] 5
<Bizznatch> my dick is 3 inches long
<chris> thats small.
<DrunkenMaster> sad
<Bizznatch> yus
<deathazre> chris: not for a 3 year old
<Bizznatch> death
<chris> ...
<Bizznatch> so you look at 3 year old's cocks every once in a
while
<chris> :D
* deathazre has quit IRC (Quit: )
<Bizznatch> THE TRUTH HURTS
<Bizznatch> ...
<Bizznatch> :P
<incubus_chick> o.O
#99771 [ + | - ] 53
<terra> time to slay the dragon!
* Dezy-chan gts some random asian girl to do crazy action
poses while playing!
#99746 [ + | - ] 71
<end|Anthroborg> those are the risks people take to enjoy
quality porn
<Saevus> neg, quality porn sites dont do that
<Saevus> if you pay
<end|Anthroborg> pay
<end|Anthroborg> rofl
<Saevus> exactly
<end|Anthroborg> it only takes the main page to get off on
<Saevus> lol
#99733 [ + | - ] 769
Methodical Pain: but tomatoes are fruits
TheOffspring326: no they're not!
TheOffspring326: they merely prefer the company of other
tomatoes, thats all!
#99716 [ + | - ] 212
<Gho5t> i decided against that php bumper sticker
<Gho5t> i don't want my friends from home to think i turned
into a super geek
<Gho5t> i can just imagine what would happen when they ask
what 'php' meant
<ASleep>hah
<ASleep>I don't drive so my PHP sticker is on my laptop.
<ASleep> Of course, I'm getting my php tattoo this weekend so
it doesn't matter.
#99713 [ + | - ] 794
<Ronald_MacK> I need more RAM.
<Ronald_MacK> Wait, no.
<Ronald_MacK> I need a girlfriend, so I won't be on the
computer so much, and thereby it won't need more RAM.
#99700 [ + | - ] 92
<Odo> his nick is mr_white, and his username is blackdub
<Odo> this gives me the odd mental image of someone dubbing a
movie into ebonics
#99699 [ + | - ] 378
<Xerox|Studyage> Personally, I'm not too fond of
hermaphrodites. They have more than the recommended amount of
penis for a girl.
#99683 [ + | - ] 151
<Red_Squirrel> Jeff [Hardy] could get caught backstage
sleeping with every diva and KO would still find a way to
label him gay ^_^
<dubchu> ...every diva *at the same time*, yo.
<DaimaijeD> He DOES paint pretty blue swirlies on himself with
what looks like pudding.
<DaimaijeD> When you smear yourself with blue pudding in
preparation to meet a guy in tights, there's something amiss.
#99675 [ + | - ] -85
<^trivia_reaper^>  009.858. How much water would a human drink
in a lifetime ?
<^trivia_reaper^>  1st Hint: *** ******* ******   Question
Value : 21 Points
<^trivia_reaper^>  2nd Hint: 500 ******* ******   30.0 secs &
21 Points Remaining
<^trivia_reaper^>  3rd Hint: 500 *i**io* *i**e*   15.0 secs &
21 Points Remaining
<^trivia_reaper^>  Times up!  The answer was ->
500 million litres  <-
<iamscottevil> who the fuck uses litres.
<^trivia_reaper^>  Top10 Players ( Weekly & Monthly) are
Auto-Voiced
<^trivia_reaper^>  002.2424. Music : 60's Chart Toppers: Name
The Artist: Ame Caline (Soul Coaxing) ?
<iamscottevil> I'm trying to think. Glasses, gallons.
<iamscottevil> Litres?! Fuck that shit. Pabst blue ribbon.
#99486 [ + | - ] 675
<Tink> work is punishment for failing to procrastinate
effectively
#99374 [ + | - ] 1459
<Kokanshu> does anyone else have the urge to call the
operators up and say 'I NEED AN EXIT, FAST!'
#99350 [ + | - ] 523
<Beelzebub> Necrophilia isn't rape, it's recycling
#99315 [ + | - ] 256
<Seed> I had to remove one of toastt's organs once.. because
he didn't pay attention
<md`> i see
<Supachikn> which organ?
<Supachikn> his skin?
<Supachikn> pancreas?
<Supachikn> appendix!
<Seed> Supachikn: a 1967 Hammond organ
#99139 [ + | - ] -428
<Heavy_P> Whats the diffrence between a black and a table
<Heavy_P> A table can support a family
#99098 [ + | - ] 929
<@somegrrl> i'm 14
<@Blaxthos> somegrrl:  will you come help me find my puppy ?
#99060 [ + | - ] 32076
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say...
BlackAdder> WRONG BTICH
BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU
BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES
BlackAdder> NOBODY  HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES
BlackAdder> IN FACT
BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW
BlackAdder> I  DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE
BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT FAG
*** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*
*** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( )
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
CRCError> right
heartless> Right.
r3v> right
#99056 [ + | - ] 567
<GerbilNut> i was so happy last friday... i finally saw a girl
with my old roomate... it finally convinced me he wasn't gay
<GerbilNut> she wasn't very attractive... but at least i knew
he was straight
<GerbilNut> it would have made those nights we cuddled on the
couch alittle awkward
#99047 [ + | - ] 352
<Yuri> heh damn man
<Yuri> 93.1mb
<Yuri> this is the mightiest log i've ever posessed
<xerDM> heheh
<Yuri> this is a sociology report waiting to happen
<Yuri> heh
<xerDM> hehe
<Yuri> and excellent fodder for legal lawsuits from assorted
companies wanting to protect their intellectual property...
* Yuri find/replace warez|iso|bin|nrg|ccd/fluffy bunnies
<Dorn> aha
<xerDM> haha
<Yuri> "wow these guys LOVE bunnies!"
<Yuri> "yeah they share em too!"
<Dorn> course
<Yuri> "over the INTERNET! to FTPS!"
<Yuri> "aww bunny videos!"
<Yuri> hot rodent on rodent action
<Dorn> you'd get stuff like "Man sitting on that desert island
sure made me feel fluffy bunnieslated"
<Dorn> :E
#99044 [ + | - ] 154
<revolver> "whatevah, whatevah, it's mah hot body and ah'll do
what ah want."
<DirtyPunk> revolver: Until you're in prison with a man bigger
than you.
<DirtyPunk> ;)
<revolver> d'oh
#99043 [ + | - ] 1153
<hydro`> i had this weird dream
<hydro`> someome broke into the house
<hydro`> and changed the wallpaper on the computer and left
#99036 [ + | - ] 122
* kate coughs on Telepath
* kate sodes mode +SARS Telepath
<kate> SUFFFER
#99035 [ + | - ] 206
<nutrasweetie> lol my brother is such a little creep
<nutrasweetie> hes on the phone w/his friend
<nutrasweetie> and he goes to me "can i go online"
<nutrasweetie> me: "no, you're on the phone"
<nutrasweetie> "well, my friend wants to tell me something,
and i called him and the lines busy"
<nutrasweetie> me: "NO"
<nutrasweetie> john goes back to the phone "damn, she wont let
me on to talk to you"
#99032 [ + | - ] 228
<|NightChade|> Chinese smorgasboard and beer - $15
<|NightChade|> 3 glasses of red wine - $6
<|NightChade|> 4 salami sticks and a gurana energy drink - $8
<|NightChade|> 2 litres of coke - $1.80
<|NightChade|> The screams of horror of your toilet -
Priceless
#99030 [ + | - ] 807
<@DataTek> hah
<@DataTek> antibiotics are the king
<@DataTek> u drink two beers and you're so drunk u almost pass
out
<@DataTek> its like a Quad-damage powerup
#99022 [ + | - ] 891
<Nerdpants> does any of the orginal characters die - Neil for
example
<Pat> its "neo"
<Nerdpants> thats his internet name, his real name is Neil
<Nerdpants> didn't u seen the original!
<Pat> no its "Thomas A. Anderson"
<Nerdpants> really, whoops, does he die??
<Pat> yes
<Pat> neos not gonner star in revolutions, he's dead
<Pat> the oracle is really a guy
<Nerdpants> thats pretty crap - hes the main character
<Pat> Yeah.. Agent Smith turns out to be a good guy. He's
actually the one.
<Nerdpants> yeah i know that... i figured it out
#99000 [ + | - ] -12
jac: "thats why asian guys can always go clubbing underage,
they just borrow their dad's licence"
flash: bahahahah that would so work
nexx: er
jac: lol
nexx: asian people cant drive to get thier lisence anyway
#98997 [ + | - ] 138
<teefers> im khaleds rat
<teefers> he pays me $20 an hour to log anything anyone says
about him on undernet
<teefers> then i send it to him
<teefers> and he winnukes people
<vulture_> teefers: then log this: Khaled, your programming
ineptitude must be the envy of every Microsoft programmer. not
to mention, I hate you.
* teefers sends that shit to khaled and watches alex get
winnuked h0 h0 h0
* vulture_ nearly injures himself watching tcpdump output...
<vulture_> :P
<Untitled2> ha!
<Untitled2> I wish I were leet enough to interpret tcpdump raw
output real time
<vulture_> ever consider filtering it so you don't have to?
<vulture_> :P
<Untitled2> what would the fun in that be
<vulture_> being able to laugh at someone's winnuke attempts?
<Untitled2> There's an idea
<Untitled2> and have it log to syslog "silly nuke attempt from
x.x.x.x
<vulture_> "initiating automatic retaliatory smurf..."
#98935 [ + | - ] 409
<Aitrus> You are standing on the top of a cliff next to a
clone of yourself who just so happens to be stark naked. You
reach over, and deftly push the clone over the cliff. Is it:
<Aitrus> A: Homicide
<Aitrus> B: Suicide
<Aitrus> or
<Aitrus> C: Just another obscene clone fall
#98918 [ + | - ] 634
<Aitrus> I have three root canals with crowns scheduled, plus
the removal of two wisdom teeth, and two impacted partials.
PLUS two fillings.
<Aitrus> my children will be forced to brush at gunpoint.
#98917 [ + | - ] 284
<Snowman> How come I can't hack anything that I try to?
<Snowman> I even used su... I just dont know what do do after
that...
<Snowman> Even when I have root...
<TheFat> *sigh* you idiot...
<TheFat> Dont you know, you need uber root not su...
<Snowman> How do I get that
<TheFat> run "halt" then "ur"
<Snowman> Sweet, so i will hack things with ur?
*** Signoff: Snowman (Disconnected)
*** Snowman(poopie@host-209-111-188-107.clt.bellsouth.net) has
joined channel #hackr
<Snowman> Man... hacking is sooooo gay
#98911 [ + | - ] 324
<Bivens> Internet Explorer Tip: when it says "turn off
images", it only refers to inline images.  Which is why it's
safe to go to Goatse but not Tubgirl.  I think it's obvious
how I figured this out.
#98898 [ + | - ] 1181
<iretch> i love how the only way i can tell which family
members are home
<iretch> are which lights are lit up on my hub
#98880 [ + | - ] 357
Geeky Weezer Fan: Gay Cruises are for gay people....
onkeybutt87: they are?
onkeybutt87: uh-oh
onkeybutt87: Dad's not going to be happy about that one
#98872 [ + | - ] 218
<BoneyCork> irc operators have a musty operator scent
<CG> na ima clean
<BoneyCork> when you go into some houses you can tell they
have dogs, others you can tell they smoke
<BoneyCork> i bet if you go into CG's house you think, "irc
operator"
#98871 [ + | - ] 489
<Teeks> Katsmall: Ah. Well, there are similar differences
between Norwegian and English.
<Katsmall> Where's Norway?
<Teeks> It's the capital of Canada.
<Teeks> Land of four A's.
<Katsmall> Is that so?
<Katsmall> Which four A's?
<Teeks> The ones in the name ... count them ... O_o ... OH MY
GOD! SWEET JESUS! THE LIES!!